Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update PODCAST: Boring Dude

Episode Date: March 11, 2020

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Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hi, I'm Ed Zitron, host of the Better Offline podcast. And this January, we're going to go on the road to beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada, to cover the Consumer Electronics Show, tech's biggest conference. Better Offline CES coverage won't be the usual rundown of the hottest gadgets or biggest trends, but an unvarnished look at what the tech industry plans to sell or do to you in 2025.

I'll be joined by David Roth of Defector and the writer Edward Ongueso Jr. With guest appearances from Behind the Bastards Robert Evans, It Could Happen Here's Gare Davis, and a few surprise guests throughout the show. Listen to Better Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts from. Bread and butter wines pair with the life moments you love. Offering a rich and jammy Cabernet Sauvignon, a silky smooth Pinot Noir, and a buttery Chardonnay. Bread and butter wines are delicious. Find bread and butter wines in your favorite store. Moving 92.5.

Ruck and Jubels. Second date update. We got an email from one of our listeners who said he wants to apologize to us in advance for what's about to happen in today's call. Oh no. I don't know what he did yet, but he's on the phone with us and his name tell me if I'm getting this right. Is it

Jarm? Jarm. Yeah. Well, I feel like you need to apologize for making fun of his name already, Jeffrey. Well, I just want to make sure it's a unique name. Yeah. Is it short for, like, Jarmongelo? What? It's actually just short for Jarmond. Okay.

Jarmond. That's a cool name. Jarmond. Jarm. Jarmond. All right, let's move past the name. So, Jarm, you said you wanted to apologize to us in your email, so go ahead. Go ahead?

What? Oh, yeah, so I wanted to apologize in advance. We do not accept. Oh. Let the man talk. I'm kidding. I'm kidding, Jarm. You're apologizing to us or to your date?

I'm apologizing to you. Why? Yeah. Well, because I'm a fan of the show, and I listen to you guys. I listen to the second date updates all the time. Oh, we hate that. Why? Yeah. Well, because I'm a fan of the show and I listen to you guys. I listen to the second date updates all the time. Oh, we hate that. You're right. I mean, that's not why we do this at all. Well, so the thing is that I hear

people talk about, you know, like wild and crazy things that they do on their dates. And honestly, none of that happened with me. So that's what I would like to apologize for. Oh, Jarm, dude. How dare you? You're apologizing for calling us with a boring story?

We get all kinds of stories. Yeah, I would like your help, but it really was just a regular old boring date. Okay. That's all right, Jarm. Why don't you tell us the name of the girl that you want us to call? Her name is Lori.

Okay, and where'd you meet her? We met on a dating app. All right. Which I also got from the show you guys are always talking about. That's a great way to meet people. Yeah. I feel like it's already going to turn out bad

if you're taking dating advice from us. But continue, Jarm. What did you and Lori do? So, well, I posted a picture. And I know cool people call it a pic, but she was the only person who matched with me. Jar, go get down on yourself, dude. Sorry.

We think you're cool, man. Yeah, you seem great. Oh, okay. Well, thank you. Thank you. You're welcome. We met at a restaurant, you know, to be safe. We had dinner.

We talked. And it was over. Okay. And what were the highlights there, Jarm? You need a little bit more detail, maybe. I guess that's the problem because I pretty much just told you the highlights. Okay. Really?

So, like, the best thing that happened is that you went to dinner and talked. Well, there was one possible thrilling moment. Oh, okay. Do tell. Well, I saw her staring at her fork, so I asked if she was okay. And she said that she just thought her fork was dirty, so I asked if I could look at the fork. And then I looked at the fork, and it was a clean so it was it turned out it was clean that did not happen no I'm serious it really happened and it was close I mean it was right on the line wow that was a water spot wasn't anything else what was her attitude like on the

date she was fine uh I did try to tell her some elephant jokes to lighten the mood. Oh, can we hear one? Try out some material on us? Oh, sure. Yeah, yeah. I can tell you one. Okay, so once some hunters were after an elephant, and the elephant didn't know what to do. So he met his friend Ant on the road, and he told Ant this problem that he had.

And Ant said, don't worry, just hide behind me. You get it, because he's small. Well, Ant is small. Right, right. Because that's not going to work very well. So, Jarm, did she crack up like we are? Yeah. Well, not really.

I did try a few more, but I kind of gave up in the middle of my fourth one. Okay. She didn't seem to get it. Yeah. You can't expect all these people that you date to get the highbrow elephant humor. I mean, I would say, like, if she's not laughing after the first one, I wouldn't go to the fourth. But Jarm's an optimist. Yeah.

What was the date like at the end, Jarm? We just said goodnight. We shook hands and that was it. Oh no, shook hands. Are you going to be upset if that's the problem, Jarm, if she was just too bored on the date? I mean, I guess I wouldn't find it that out of the ordinary for me. I mean, I'm not an exciting person. Oh, Charm. Buddy. I'm not. I mean, it's not something that I struggle with. I've accepted it.

I'm a pretty boring dude. Oh, man. Okay, that's fine. Charm, we're not going to let you be boring, okay? We're going to pull through for you. Yeah. Yeah, and this is pretty exciting that you're doing this. Look at you.

You're on the radio. You're stepping out of your comfort zone there, Jarm. Yeah, and, you know, I've heard you guys work miracles before, and considering she's the only person I matched up with, I thought maybe you could work your magic here. Okay. We got this, Jarm. We're going to pull a miracle for you right now.

We're going to play a song, come back, call Lori, and get your second date update, okay? Okay. Thank you. Let me hear you be really excited about it, Jarm. Yeah. I am. Call Lori and get your second date update, okay? Okay, thank you Let me hear you be really excited about it, Jarm I am, I am very excited Alright, well Play a song and do it after this, hold on

When he goes on a hot date He's's home and in bed by 8 p.m. Yes, he is. Tell me more. His go-to romantic move is to comment on the cleanliness of your silverware. When he tells an elephant joke, he tells four of them all in a row. He's the least boring man in the world, and his name is Jarm. Jarm, are you there? Yes, I'm here. Okay. There he is. There's that intro for you, Jarm. Jarm went out with a girl named Lori and he's worried he may have been a little bit too boring on his date. But Jarm,

I don't believe you're boring. I think there's something in your life that you're passionate about. We just don't know it yet. Oh. When I was 14, I had a stamp collection. Oh. I also had a stamp collection, Jarm. We also had a sick cat that peed on the stamp collection. Oh, ooh.

Bad memories. You are interesting, Jarm. I love you. And we never asked you this. Have you actually tried reaching out to Lori yet, or is this the first time? I have. She hasn't responded. Okay. And what did you like about her? Well, I like that

we matched. Okay. On the app? Alright. That the app matched. You're the only one that... Well, they both find each other attractive. That's a good start. They sound perfect to me. Yeah. Well, technically, she never said that she thought I was attractive, but I can verify that I think she is. Okay.

Verified. Confirmed. All right, Charm. I feel like we're going to get the female version of you on the phone here in about 30 seconds. Let's find out, okay? We're going to call Lori for you right now. Are you ready?

I am ready. Are you amped up? My palms are a little sweaty, but please, my. Let's find out, okay? We're going to call Lori for you right now. Are you ready? I am ready. Are you amped up? My palms are a little sweaty, but please, yeah, help me. Okay. All right. Call the number. All right, I'm going to dial the number right now. Here we go.

Hello? Hi, can I speak to Lori, please? This is she. Hey, Lori, how are you doing? This is Young Jeffrey from the radio show Broken Jubal in the Morning. Hi, I'm good. How are you? Oh, you sound like you listen.

Well, it's so funny because I just talked about this show the other night. What complaint blog were you on this time? No, I was talking about it with a date who I'm now, like, suspicious might be actually the one initiating this call. You're good. Really? You are good, Lori. What's the name of your date?

Jarm. Did he ask you guys to call me? It is Jarm. Yes, he did. So, wait, you guys were talking about us. We were, yeah. Was it a fun conversation for you? I mean, he brought it up, the show, that it's like something he listens to and likes a lot.

And so we were just kind of talking about it. And I definitely heard the show before but it sounds like he listens a lot okay so is that why you're not calling him back because he listens to this show he must be a terrible person i wouldn't either no no no no not at all jarm told us a little bit about your date and he really likes you and he's caught on to the fact that you're not responding to him anymore he wants to know the reason why i mean to the fact that you're not responding to him anymore. He wants to know the reason why. I mean, it's not that I am not responding. I just needed a little bit of time. That means you're not responding.

No way. That means that you had actually thought about going out with him again. Listen, the date was fun. He's, like, really cute. He's got this kind of funny Michael Cera vibe thing going on. That's exactly his vibe. Oh, my God, I could totally see that. That's a great analogy, actually.

I mean, he was worried that he was too boring for you. And it wasn't like a negative thing. He knows fully, very self-aware of his boring level. I think it's funny. I like his sort of personality and his bluntness. I just was having some kind of trouble processing this weird thing that happened. Uh-oh. What weird thing?

I mean, it's really not even a big deal. And it's not like, it's not his fault. I'm worried. What did he do? I don't know if he told you guys that he was telling some jokes at the cable. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Elephant jokes.

We heard the one about the ant. Yeah. I loved it. Yeah. We didn't get the other three that he told you, but we heard the ant one. Yeah, well, I didn't love them. Because they weren't very funny?

Is that why? No, no. It's not that I don't think he's funny. It's just he couldn't have known. But I actually have some history with elephants. Your ex is an elephant? No, but my uncle was actually just on a safari last year. And there was a pretty bad accident with an elephant.

Whoa. Oh, no. Yeah. And like the first elephant joke he made, I tried to kind of, like, avoid it, not really laugh at it, and just move on from it. But he kept telling these elephant jokes.

Oh, my God. How would anyone know, though? Yeah. Did you tell him that you had an uncle that had a run-in with an elephant? It sounds like a joke in and of itself. I mean, I know it's not, because you're being honest, Lori.

I know. I know it sounds crazy, but, like, I know it's not because you being honest. I know. I know it sounds crazy, but like, honestly, it was really traumatic and I wasn't like really still not ready to talk about it. And I definitely didn't want to talk about it on a first date. And I know it sounds crazy, but my uncle was really hurt. I mean, he's still recovering. Oh, he's okay. He didn't die. No, he's okay. But it was a bad bad accident like you don't think about that as a possibility of happening and it's just i know he didn't mean to do it but he just kept harping on it it was like picking at an open wound you know well i feel like maybe jarms should know why you

were not laughing and why you were turned off by that like you never told that to him i didn't you're right i just wasn't really ready to talk about it. Don't you think he has a right to know, though, that that's why? I mean, eventually, yeah. You think you just don't like him. Yeah. Everything else was fine. It's just that one thing kept happening, you know?

Yeah, well, more is about to happen because Jarm is actually on the phone, and he's been listening this whole time. What? Yeah, he heard. And he really wants to talk with you, Jarm. Wait, what? Hold on. He's happening right now? Yeah, he's been listening. Sorry.

I just want to say how sorry I am. I had no idea. Hey, Jarm. Wow. Sorry, Jarm. Wow. Hi. Hi. This is like, I'm just a little caught off guard. I wasn't really ready for this.

So now you know. Lori, if you don't mind me asking, was it an Indian elephant or an African bush elephant? What? Why? It's not important, Jarm. It doesn't matter. I actually honestly don't even know it's kind of besides the point you know yeah yeah yeah okay you know sorry i was just wondering

because you know i saw a netflix documentary about um anyway it said that um african bush elephants are much more aggressive so i was just curious and his jokes were definitely only about indian elephants so he meant no harm. Okay, Jarm. Just like an Indian elephant wouldn't mean harm. You need to be focusing, Jarm, on her and her feelings right now. She had a traumatic experience with elephants. Maybe try changing the subject, Jarm.

Yeah, again, Lori, I'm really sorry. And I... Thank you. Can I just ask, was it a kick or a trampling? No, Jarm! Stop! Stop trying to figure out about the elephant attack. Jarm, it really doesn't matter what kind of elephant it was or how

the accident happened. I really don't want to keep rehashing this. Yeah, Jarm, this isn't like elephant CSI. We don't need to get to the bottom of this case. We're trying to get back to the date. Okay. Yeah, and maybe Jarm, you should concentrate on the fact that she actually really liked you. Like, that's rad, man.

Good for you. Your one match is a success. Maybe say something nice to Lori about how you felt about her. Good job, Jeffrey. Lori, I think you are beautiful. Aww. Aww, Charm.

What else? And I really enjoyed talking with you. And again, you know, if elephants are... No, no, no. Get off the elephants. Go with something else. Try something else. There's literally like an elephant in the room and it's like, it really means it this time.

What I was going to say is if elephants are a problem, we don't have to ever talk about elephants again. Okay, that's insinuated, right? I think that's for the best. Yeah, that would be great. I'm just, not yet, you know? It's still really, really fresh. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I totally understand that,

and I wouldn't want you to feel uncomfortable. Okay. Do you believe him, Lori? I mean, do you think you could trust a guy like Jarm? I mean, I really would like to. I mean, I would be interested in seeing him again and talking to him again. But I just, we have to, like, agree that we've got to take it easy on the elephant-specific talk for a while. Right.

In the meantime, if you wouldn't mind letting me know if anyone in your family had any sort of traumatic experience with zebras. Because I do know a lot about that species. That is a good, good question, Jarm. Ask her for your joke. Zebras are safe, Jarm. Zebras are safe. All right. Oh, man, watch out.

Okay, well, I'm sensing some positivity here. So with that in mind, we would like to offer to send you and Jarm out on a date, and we'll pay for it. Jarm will not make any elephant jokes. I can't wait to hear the zebra jokes. So that's a yes? Is that a yes? I didn't say that I know zebra jokes. I just said that I know a lot about the species, but I'll have to look up some zebra jokes, but I'm prepared. Okay, well, there you go.

He can give you a PowerPoint presentation on the origins of zebras and then throw in a joke. Would you like to sign up for that? We'll pay for it. Sign me up. I can't wait to see the PowerPoint presentation. Oh, my God, it's a date! I don't know why I'm so shocked. I'm sorry, Jarm. I don't mean to be so shocked, but holy

hell. Let's do it. No, I'm thrilled. Hooray. We're thrilled for you, Jar. Congratulations. We're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble.

More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always show tunes. More of you finding Gemini is because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help.

That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money Podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeart

Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Ed Zitron, host of the Better Offline podcast. And this January, we're going to go on the road to beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada, to cover the Consumer Electronics Show, tech's biggest conference. Better Offline CES coverage won't be the usual rundown of the hottest gadgets or biggest trends, but an unvarnished look at what the tech industry plans to sell or do to you in 2025. I'll be joined by David Roth of Defector and the writer Edward Ongueso Jr. With guest appearances from Behind the Bastards Robert Evans,

It Could Happen Here's Gare Davis, and a few surprise guests throughout the show. Listen to Better Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts from.