Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update PODCAST: Breaking & Entering

Episode Date: February 23, 2017

Today's second date update sounds like it should be on the police blotter...a crime was committed, BLOOD was spilled, and the COPS were ALMOST called. You have to tune into the phone tap to find out what happened...See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hi, I'm Ed Zitron, host of the Better Offline podcast. And this January, we're going to go on the road to beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada, to cover the Consumer Electronics Show, tech's biggest conference. Better Offline CES coverage won't be the usual rundown of the hottest gadgets or biggest trends, but an unvarnished look at what the tech industry plans to sell or do to you by the IHOP Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts from.

Are you looking for the thrill of your life? With ZodArt, Seattle's only exotic car rental company, you can book a Lamborghini, Ferrari, and more. Visit ZodArt.com, Z-A-D-A-R-T.com, to book your exotic car ride. Moving 92.5. Rook and Jubal's Second Date Update There are two letters that are guaranteed to make every date more exciting.

I'm not talking about S&M. Those letters work as well, but I'm talking about a little B&E. A little breaking and entering. A what? That's right. That is the way to spice up any date. And that's what happened to Maria

on her first date, and that's why she thinks she might not be getting a call back today because she broke into a house on her first date. What's up, Maria? Hello. How are you? Are you a criminal right now?

No, it's not what you think. It was my own house. Oh, that's what criminals always say. Yep, you just stopped at a house. You're like, I promise that's my style. I got to get my TV out of there real quick. But your email said that you think you might not be getting a call back because you had to break into your own house? Yeah, I mean, it was a whole thing.

Do you want to know what happened? Yeah, first off, tell me about the guy. How'd you meet him? Well, I met him on Bumble. Oh, yeah. I've heard good things about Bumble. I have a couple of girlfriends using it. Yeah, it's nice because the girls have to start the conversation first.

And you only have 24 hours to do it, so it's kind of like all or nothing, you know? It's like Tinder, but you don't have a bunch of pervy dudes hitting you up nonstop, right? Exactly. Yeah, you kind of eliminate the pervy dude situation. And he seemed pretty cool, and we ended up actually talking on the phone,

which people don't do anymore. Right. And he seemed really smart, and he had a really cute laugh, and so he asked me if I'd like to go out to dinner. And you were like, hell no, let's break into a house. That sounds way more fun. Yeah, I actually offered that, but he was like, no, I'd rather not.

So you guys agreed to go out to dinner. How'd that go? Well, he came to my house to pick me up. And I got out to the car, and I realized that I didn't have my keys. Oh, no. That's a worse feeling. Yeah, so this is where the breaking and entering comes in. Is your house easy to break into?

Oh, no. No, of course not. I walked up hoping that the door would be open still, but I locked the handle and we tried all the windows, tried all the doors, and we ended up having to break one of the windows to get

in. What? How long did this take you? It was a little over an hour. That's a great start to your date. Why did you have to do it right then? Why didn't you say, like, hey, I'll call a locksmith. Let's go out, have our dinner, and then when we get back, maybe we can schedule a locksmith to meet us. Well, yeah, when you say it that way, it sounds really smart, but for some reason, that's just not what we did.

Just one of those moments where you're like, screw it, we've got to get in there right now. Break a window. Right, yeah. Did you break the window or did he break the window? He broke the window. Like a gentleman does. Right. He found a rock and chucked it at the window and broke it.

Oh, my gosh. So did you end up getting into the house after the broken window? Please tell me you did. Yes. Thankfully, my cat was okay. She wasn't anywhere near the window. And then, like, I mean, it was really dangerous, but he climbed in the window then. Oh, man.

Yeah. Really sweet and nice of him to do. Here's the best part, though, guys. He got in, and he unlocked the door, and I got in and he unlocked the door and I got in. And then I spent like 15 minutes searching the house only to realize that my keys were in my purse the whole time. Are you serious? That sucks. You didn't dump your purse out before you spent over an hour trying to break into your own house? I mean, I swear I looked in there like two or three times and they were not there.

What was his reaction to that? I mean, I just kind of tried to play it off. Like, it was funny, right? That's funny. I would have had a laugh at it. I mean, I could see it being a funny situation, especially on a first date. Right. I mean, that's one of those things that you're like,

you know, when we're married, we're gonna look back at this and be like, oh gosh, remember when Maria left her keys in the house? You didn't say that to him, did you? No, I didn't. Okay. I just said, oh, gosh, sorry. Yeah, it'll be cool when we're married. Because I was going to say, if you drop the married thing on him, that might be the reason he's not getting back to you.

No, I swear I didn't use the word marriage. Okay. So were you able to salvage the day at all? Well, at that point, we'd spent pretty much our entire date trying to break into my house. And he'd cut himself a little bit on the window. Of course. Not bad. Like, he didn't need stitches or anything.

Oh, my gosh. We just kind of decided to call it. And we said that we would meet up sometime next week for a real date. So he was bleeding after spending an hour outside your home. Yeah, kind of waste your appetite, I think. Did you guys ever meet up? No. Really? That was the last you saw of him? Yeah.

So I texted him a couple times, and one time he didn't respond. And then another time he was like yeah you know we'll catch up sometime I'm just really bogged down with everything at work right now but you really think that he wouldn't be calling you back just because you guys had a break into your house and you forgot your keys I don't know I mean it seemed like we had fun with it you know and we made light of the situation and I totally assumed that he would hang out with me again. And so I'm just having a hard time understanding if that's really what it

was or if there's something else. All right. Well, we'll play a song. Come back, call him and get your second date update. Okay is on the phone with us. She had a very interesting first date with a guy named Aaron. They spent the whole date breaking into her house. She thought that she forgot her keys when he came to pick her up. She searched everywhere. Ultimately, it ended with him breaking a window, crawling inside, cutting himself, and then opening up the door

only for her to find out that the keys were actually in her purse the whole time. Oopsies! That's the only reason you can think of, Maria. Nothing else on your date. No other reason

why he wouldn't be calling you back. There was nothing else that happened that I have been able to think of. When he left, he said, I want to reschedule this. Yeah, I mean, I said, let's. When he left, he said, I want to reschedule this. Yeah. I mean, I said, let's hang out again. And he said, okay, great. Oh, that's yeah. So it

seems like he wanted to see you again. Well, he did cut his hand on your window. Maybe he got an infection and is no longer with us. Could have happened. God, I hope not. Well, we'll find out right now. I'm going to dial his phone number, okay? Okay. Alright, here we go. Hello? Hi, I'm looking for Aaron. Yeah, that's me. Who's this? Hey, what's up, Aaron? How are you? This is Jubal from Brick and Jubal in the Morning.

Uh, from who? Jubal from Brick and Jubal in the Morning It's a radio show Okay yeah So you've heard of the show? Yeah I've heard of it Okay have you ever heard of the segment we do called the Second Date Update? No sorry Oh that's okay

You're going to get very familiar with it because you're a part of a Second Date Update now What? It's a segment we do on our show where if you go out on a date with somebody and then end up not calling them back afterwards, they email us to see if we can get you on the phone and ask what went wrong. So a girl named Maria emailed us about you.

Oh, okay. That's the excited voice, right? Yeah. She told us a little bit about your date. Didn't sound like much of a date, just breaking into her house, basically, when you came to pick her up. Oh, my God. Yeah, that did happen. But she also said that you're not calling her back.

And at the end of that experience, you guys had sort of made plans to go out again. Yeah. Yeah. It just doesn't seem like it's really a great fit. It seems like, I don't know, I don't want to be mean, but it just seems like it would be kind of hard to actually date her. Why is that? I don't know.

It feels like we're on different levels, if that makes any sense. Is it because you had to break into her house because she forgot her keys that were actually in her purse? No, no, it's not that at all. That was actually pretty great. I don't get to break a lot of windows. That was really fun. Oh, so you did think that that part, well, the only part really of your whole date, you had a good time with her? Yeah, yeah. If every girl wanted me to break into her house, I would totally be fine with that. That's a fun yeah okay seems like an exciting time i thought the blood would definitely be like well i cut myself and i'm leaving i was too it was super minor and she

abandoned it was not a big deal okay so then what's the reason that you're not calling her back why don't you feel like you're on the same level or whatever you said well so while we were around like one of the sides of our house trying to find a window to get into, we were talking. We were trying to have, like, salvage a date out of this. Right. And this is the first time we've talked in person, so we were chatting. You're having, like, first date get to know me conversation over trying to jimmy a window

open to get into a house. Yeah, we're just making, like, small talk or whatever. So we're talking about TV shows that we're watching, and we both love Game of Thrones. Okay. Which is my favorite show. I'm not going to spoil anything. But we were talking about it,

and she said something that seemed kind of weird early on. She just said, it's weird that a thousand years ago people had to worry about getting eaten by dragons. But she was joking, right? I mean, that was being silly. That's what I thought. So I laughed. I thought that was funny.

And she heard me laughing and she was like, what? Dragons are bad. Just like that. Just like that. Oh, my God. So she thought dragons were real. this point i don't know what she's thinking i like is this some sort of issue is she messing with me is this like some test like will you break a window do you think that i think dragons are real like it's all some elaborate

first date test you know and so i don't know I'm like, I'm sort of feeling it out. And I laughed and I feel like, I think we're having an okay time. And she keeps talking about like, what this time period would have been like to live it. Not this universe, this time period. She actually said, Game of Thrones is my favorite period piece.

So maybe she just used the wrong wording. Like there's no way she actually thinks it's, like, a reenactment from real life. As far as I can tell, like, she doesn't think, like, there were cameras there, obviously. But she thinks it's, like, based on a true story. Like that.

She got into, like, how it's weird that wizards and witches just, like, aren't around as much anymore. Like they sort of disappeared. At any time, did you explain to her that Game of Thrones is made up and it's not a documentary? Look, man, if she thinks that's true, then I don't want to break her heart. I don't want to crush her and tell her about the terrible world. And if she's messing with me, I don't want to admit that I'm fooled there's no win situation yeah i guess you're screwed hey aaron i do want to let

you know though that you might have crushed her what do you mean i mean that she's actually on the other line listening to this conversation and she might have just found out that Game of Thrones is not real. Maria, are you still there? I'm not stupid. I know that Game of Thrones isn't real. It's not a documentary, but it's based on true events. I mean, I hope you're messing with me. I hope that this is just a really good joke. No, it's like the Renaissance, you know?

It's like that show Vikings, you know? Like, what are you trying to say? That Vikings aren't real? Vikings are real. They exist. The dragons did not exist. Well, they don't exist anymore

because humans killed them. What are you talking about, Maria? Okay, are you guys screwing with me? Are you all in on this prank thing? No. No, we're not at all. I promise you, Maria wanted to call you to find out what went wrong on the date. I should have known with the window that somebody was setting me up.

This whole thing. This is not a setup. I promise you. Maria, do you really think that dragons existed? They did. I read history books about them. Sci-fi and history books are not the same thing. That's what I'm saying.

I'm not dumb, guys. Like, I know that the Game of Thrones story is dramatized, but, like, dragons actually existed in the renaissance you can read about it and like witchcraft and wizardry was a thing well that part that part's true i don't know which books you're reading maria but i want to read them it's in tons of books and you can start by reading the bible because it's got all of that all right i. I know that they exist, and I have proof. You don't even have to read the books. Like, I'll send you the Wikipedia links that I found, and you can read it yourself.

So you're serious. You really believe this? 100% I believe with all my heart that dragons used to exist, and I'm afraid that they'll come back. Oh, my God, you guys. Science is not a belief system. It's the Bible. Read it. Are there dragons in the Bible?

Well, Maria, what do you think about that being the reason that Aaron's not calling you back? Because he disagrees with you on the whole dragons being real things. I don't like the tone of this whole thing because it feels like everyone's making fun of me, but Aaron is the ignorant one. I'm not making fun of you, Maria. I just, I haven't read what you've read, and I'm not as educated as you on the subject, so I can't claim to know anything about dragons.

No, Jubal. Well, you should do that because it's an interesting subject. I will. At this point, I would like to ask Aaron, though, real quick. Aaron, would you like to go on a second date with Maria? We will pay for it. I mean, at this point, I don't know if she wants to go on a second date with me, but I'm kind of curious where this goes.

Are you being serious? Hear that, Maria? You want to go out with her again. She's fun. Dude. You know what? Like, I'm up for it, you know? Like, you only get

one chance in life to have this kind of fun, right? Oh my god. Maria, would you like to go out with Aaron again? Yeah! You guys can hash out the whole Game of Thrones thing in person. If Aaron is open to hearing me out and reading my books,

then yes, I would consider going out with him again. Aaron, can you promise to go into this next date with Maria with an open mind about dragons? Absolutely. Wonderful. Congratulations, Maria. You got your second date.

I love you guys. Thank you so much. No, Maria, thank you. Thank you for today's phone call. That was awesome. Broken Jubal in the morning. Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble.

More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year

and find them on Bumble. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right.

I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Ed Zitron, host of the Better Offline podcast. And this January, we're going to go on the road to beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada to cover the Consumer Electronics Show,

tech's biggest conference. Better Offline's CES coverage won't be the usual rundown of the hottest gadgets or biggest trends, but an unvarnished look at what the tech industry plans to sell or do to you in 2025. I'll be joined by David Roth of Defector and the writer Edward Ongueso Jr., with guest appearances from Behind the Bastards' Robert Evans, It Could Happen Here's Gare Davis, and a few surprise guests throughout the show. Listen to Better Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts from.