Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update PODCAST: Camping

Episode Date: September 2, 2020

Kaylee went on a RISKY first date.... CAMPING.....And things got so frightening that her date sped off in his car before it ended!!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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from women all the time is why are all the good guys always taken, gay, or dead? It's interesting that they're interested in those dead guys. No, they're not, Jeff. I always tell them, you know, hey, don't worry. Because statistically speaking, a bunch of those taken guys are going to get divorced.

And then he'll be down and out and ready for a rebound. So just be patient. Oh, it's terrible. I've never looked on the light side and dark side at the same time. And that's what one of our listeners, Kaylee, did. She waited and caught a guy at his rock bottom post-divorce. And now she's emailing us for help. Welcome, Kaylee.

Not a great intro, Kaylee. Hi, guys. How are you? Yeah, you're like the cheetah getting the weakened gazelle at the back of the herd, aren't you? I've never really kind of thought about it like that, but yeah, you could kind of say that. Okay. So what's the name of the wounded gazelle that we're calling today? His name is Ian. Okay.

And how do you know Ian? I met him through a friend of a friend. He was recently divorced. Supposed to be a real quality guy. So it sounded like a good idea. Why not? Have you ever dated a divorced guy before? No, I haven't.

Well, that's good that you're open-minded to it. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, why not? If I'm not open to that, who knows? I'll be haven't. Well, that's good that you're open-minded to it. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, why not? If I'm not open to that, who knows? I'll be single forever. So did you, I mean, did you set the date up through friends or did you actually talk to Ian? Well, since we had the same friends in common, they gave each other

our numbers so we were able to start texting one another, you know? So then, you know, as we started talking through text, we found that we had something, like, really big in common, and that's camping. Oh, sweet. Oh, wow.

Yeah. I love camping. I used to do it a lot with my family when I was younger. And this is the first time I've met a guy who is just into it as much as me. Mm-hmm. I mean, there's a lot of guys

that say that they're into it, but it's hard to find one that could actually follow through. Dude, it's hard to be into camping. Us dudes, like, you have to know how to set up a tent and a fire. Like, I'm scared of camping. I get a lot more responsibility than I feel like.

Okay, Jose. I mean, did you guys actually think of going camping on your first date, or you were just talking about it as something in common? You are psychic, because that's exactly what we did for our first date. We went camping. Oh, my God. That's kind of crazy. That's a huge commitment. Yeah, like a whole weekend?

Well, it wasn't a whole weekend. It was more just an overnight trip, but it's still a big deal. It's like if you go out there and you don't like the guy, you're stuck with him. Or it's the perfect way to get rid of him and no one will know. No, Jeff!

No! What? Back to the dead guy option. I mean, he's taken just as big of a risk as you are, so it's kind of even playing field, I think. You're both kind of vulnerable. Well, I mean, we did, I made it clear, we were going to sleep in separate sleeping bags. Okay. But same tent.

You're going to do same tent. Same tent. Same tent. Oh, man. He held in so many farts all night long. So how did it go? Well, you know, we also took separate cars, too. And we met at the camping site.

So when we first got there, we did a hike around the area, which went well. I mean, handsome guy hiking through the woods and everything. That's a win for me already, you know? I'm also turned on for you. Thank you, thank you. Okay. And then when we came back, we started setting up camp. He was in charge of making a fire,

and I was in charge of, like, setting up the tent and everything. And then, you know, I did notice it was a bit abandoned. There wasn't many people around us or anything. And it kind of started getting dark. And as we're, like, setting things up, we heard sounds in the woods. And, yeah. Oh, God.

No. What'd you hear? No, this is why I don't go camping. Stop, Jose. What'd you hear? I mean, it sounded like a bear, but it could have been human. Oh, my God.

That's so scary. Oh, my gosh. Well, it's okay. What'd you do? I mean, they're in the wilderness. Jose, like, literally ran to the corner of the studio just when you said it. I was scared. I was scared.

I mean, it really honestly sounded like a bear that was in the heat, which makes it kind of funnier, but. Kind of set the mood for us, you know? He knew a date was going on. But, you know, so then, you know, my kind of personality, honestly, I'm the type of person, if I hear something, I want to see what it is. I don't, you know, even if it's a bear doing its thing, I just want to go find out for myself and make sure that we're safe. I don't know if that's the smartest move.

And then I just want to play with their cups. Right. That's all I want to do. That's very brave, though. Thank you. You know, I took my flashlight, and I wanted to go with their cubs. That's all I want to do. Very brave, though. Thank you. I took my flashlight and I wanted to go take a look. I asked him if he wanted to come along

so we could just go and make sure everything's all good. He said, no, you've got to stay back with the fire. Yup, yup. Smart guy. I like him even more. Jose, she lived.

She's on the phone with us. I know, but still, why are you putting anyone in that scenario? Oh, my God. You stay in the tent and you pray to God. So what was it? We had to make sure we're okay, you know?

I don't know. I don't know if he was scared or something, but he stayed behind. So I went out there in the woods and I was looking around for like 10 minutes. Oh, my gosh. But I didn't see a thing, just to let you all guys know. Like, I didn't see anything. Oh, my gosh. Okay, good.

Yeah. We're safe now. Jose. Like, I didn't see anything. Okay, good. Yeah. We're safe now. We're safe. So I came back to Ian, and honestly, he was acting different. Like, he was quiet. What do you mean? He didn't want to talk to me. And, like, a couple of minutes later, he said, no, actually, I want to go.

What? He left? What? Seriously, he packed up everything. So I just followed along. I started packing up. We went to the car, and he peeled off. What? Seriously, he packed up everything. So I just followed along. I started packing up. We went to the cars and he peeled off. What?

No. Do you think he was just that scared of something that was probably just a raccoon? Or he could even have been embarrassed. I mean, because when you really think about it, I'm the one that went out to make sure we were safe. Right. So that may have been, like, emasculating to him or whatever. But, I mean, one of us had to do it. We're not going to sit there like ducks and get eaten by a bear.

I text him nothing. I asked some of our friends that we had in common, have they heard from him? They said they haven't. So here I am. I'm asking help from you guys. You have to help me. So it sounds like he chickened out and just too embarrassed. But it's so frustrating because he obviously liked you enough to agree for an overnight camping trip.

I mean, that's a big agreement. So he's also missing out because of this stupid stigma that he has. Yeah. Where he wasn't manly enough or something, if that is the case. Right. Is there a chance that his ex-wife called? Ooh. And he had to go somewhere.

Or she was the one in the woods. Maybe it was a cougar. Ooh. You never know. But we're going to find out. We'll play a song. We'll come back, and we'll call Ian for you and try and get you a second date update, okay? Thank you, guys.

Thank you so much. All right, hold on. If you're just tuning in for the second date update, we're on the phone with Kaylee, who had a run-in with a real-life bear. Oh my God. That makes it sound... Normally, you find them out in the clubs wearing leather chaps and drinking vodka tonics, but Kaylee had an unusual experience because she encountered one out in the woods. Those aren't the fun bears. No, those aren't the sexy ones, are they? She was on a camping trip with her date named Ian and she heard some weird noises coming from out in the brush and went out to explore thinking it might be a bear and found nothing. Instead though, when she came back to the campsite, her date Ian was

acting a little bit strange and decided that he wanted to leave. Yeah. So that's how the date ended for them, and now Kaylee doesn't know what went wrong. Yeah, I have no idea what happened. I really hope I didn't make him feel bad. I don't know. I mean, you were trying to protect him. Like, I get that. I know.

I would be thankful. Yeah, but it makes most men feel bad. Totally. Which isn't your fault, Kaylee. I mean, if it comes back and he confesses that he actually hates camping, would you still want to date him? Yeah. I mean, do you know all the single losers out there?

Yeah. I mean. I mean, she's already stooped to dating like a divorcee. Like, what's. Stooped. How much lower can you go? Oh, you can go lower. I know.

I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Well, here's what we're going to do. Let's get Ian on the phone and figure out what happened, okay? Excellent. Thank you so much. All right. We'll style his phone number.

Here we go. Hello? Hi. Can I speak to Ian, please? You got him. Hey, Ian. My name is Jeffrey from the radio show Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning. Do you have a speak to Ian, please? You got him. Hey, Ian. My name's Jeffrey from the radio show Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning.

You have a moment to talk with us? What radio show, man? It's called Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning. Oh, okay. Don't know, but... Cool. You should listen sometime. Yeah.

I listen to a lot of radio shows, just not this one. Sorry, man. So you have taste. I see what you're saying. I see what you're saying listen sometime. Yeah. I listen to a lot of radio shows, just not this one. Sorry, man. So you have taste. I see what you're saying. I see what you're saying, Ian. Ouch. Well, this radio show does something kind of dumb called a second date update, and that's what we're doing with you right now. Second date update? Yes.

That's where if you go out on a date with someone and afterwards they're not calling you back, you can reach out to us and we'll call them for you to try and figure out the reason why. Okay. So what's this all about? So a woman reached out to us because you went out with her recently. That woman's name's Kaylee. You remember Kaylee? Oh, my God.

Okay. Kaylee, yeah. So she told us about your date, and she said you guys were having a really good time, and that it ended kind of weird, and she doesn't know what happened. Wait, she reached out to you guys? Yeah, because you won't hit her up, man. You've got to understand why she'd be confused.

I mean, she told us that you agreed to go camping with her. I mean, that's a big commitment to do on a first date, and then you left before nightfall even really hit. Yeah. So she told you I left. Okay. What else did she tell you? There was a bear.

Well, she said she heard a noise out in the woods and she went to go explore to see what it was. And then when she told you there was a noise. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And then when she came back, she said you were acting a little bit different and you wanted to leave immediately.

Hey, and it's okay, man. If you were scared, that's fine. I mean, Jose was literally is terrified of everything and it's all right. I'm still, I don't know who Jose is, but you know, I'm just saying you're in good company. If it was just too much for you to hear something that you thought was a large animal. I don't know what she said about this stuff, but I don't know if she's got the right idea here. I don't think...

Well, can you help us get the right idea? Because she has no clue what went wrong. And she really likes you. She thinks you're rad. She said that? Yeah. She thinks you're super cool. You can tell us anything and we won't judge you too harsh. You guys are cool, man.

I have to start listening to you more often, I think. So here's the deal. I was going to call her back, okay? I just needed more time. Okay. More time for what? Like since your divorce? Okay, wow.

She did tell you a lot about me. Yeah. But listen, it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm divorced. You have to trust me on that. I was going to call her back. So like, here's the deal. Okay. She heard this noise and she grabbed the flashlight and she said she's going to back. I don't know where she is. It's like 15, 20 minutes. So I'm standing up. I'm looking out into the darkness, and I slip into the fire, and I badly burn my arm. Oh, my God. Oh, that's terrible. Why wouldn't you just tell her that? Oh, my God.

Are you okay? Well, I'm fine now, but she came back eventually, and I'm doing everything I can in my power to pretend like it's not hurting. I think I was a little embarrassed. So I just kept quiet, but I'm in so much pain. Oh, my God. And I know I needed medical attention, right? But I didn't want to make a big deal out of it. Men are so weird.

Men are so freaking weird, dude. What do you think she would have said? Like, you burnt your arm, you big baby. Bailey said she loved camping so much, and I didn't want to pretend like I'm a novice at it. I like it, but I've not done it a lot. Yeah. You know, it's our first date. We're going to spend a night together.

Who knows what was going to happen. Ian, she could have helped you. She could have gotten some ice for you. I understand, dude. That's exactly. I totally get it, bro. Where would she get the ice? I assume you brought a cooler, Ian.

You're camping. Where else are you going to keep your food? He said he's a novice. Maybe she brought the ice. I didn't know we had any ice. Oh, my God, Ian. So that's why you left because you had burned your arm. Well, yeah, I needed medical attention.

I needed to drive to the hospital. I looked at my GPS on my phone. There was a hospital four miles away. And I got in, and look, I literally had melted plastic from my jacket burnt into my skin. Oh, Ian. Ouch. Dude. Ian, why did you wait to call her?

Just tell her these things. Well, it took two or three weeks for it to heal, and, like, I just needed more time. And I felt, like, awkward and embarrassed being that I was recently divorced and not dating for years. Lying about the camping thing. You're worried that she's going to think that you're less of a man because the fire burns you. You know what? I couldn't have said it better myself. That's right.

Real men don't get burned. Real men are immune to fire. Yes, that is right. You know what? I understand that. I do understand, bro. Thank you. You're immune to logic, is what it sounds like to me, not to fires. I hope I'm not stepping out of

line here and hurting your feelings anymore, but I do have something I need to tell you, Ian. Okay. I need to tell you that Kaylee's actually been on the other line listening, and she heard everything that she said. No way. Yeah. Not to make you feel like any less of a man, but she knows it all now.

It's like the feeling of a fire in my arm, but now it's in my chest. Oh, no. Ian, it's fine. The truth will set you free, man. Kaylee kisses Boo Boo. Come on. Ian. I'm super embarrassed.

I'm so confused. Why didn't you just say something? Hi, Kaylee. Hi, Ian. I mean, I feel bad, but I can't help but to laugh a little. I don't know. I'm new. I'm a novice clamper, and I'm a novice dater.

Oh, my. I really dug you, and I was really, I just a novice clamper, and I'm a novice dater. Oh, my. I really dug you, and I was really, I just, it's my bad. If I can apologize, I will. I'm sorry. You can definitely apologize. I just don't, you should have said something. Oh, my God. Seriously, you're, like, leaving this woman thinking that she did something horrible or you hate her. I was over here thinking the whole time that maybe I made you feel

bad because I was the one that went out there to find out what the scary sound was. And the fact that you didn't come and help figure it out, I thought maybe I made you feel bad somehow. No, not at all. In fact, I thought you were a superhero. I mean,

you know, I was just like, I was into you, and it was empowering to watch a woman go out and, like, defend us from the big bear that I saw. Oh, my God, you're the cutest, Ian. He is the cutest. I mean, you should have just said, hey, I burned myself. Let's go to the doctor.

I would have went with you to urgent care. Yeah, and if you had told her, Kaylee probably would have defended you and just punched that fire right in the face. Defended your honor. You don't touch my man! Oh, my God, this is the cutest story ever. Yeah, I mean, Ian, would you be up for going out on another date with Kaylee?

Because we'll pay for it. 100%. I mean, after your burns heal, of course, but we'd like you guys to hook up again. I'm super excited, and I promise I'll bring a blanket to make sure to cover the burns. No, maybe a fireproof suit. Or let's just not go camping anymore. Yeah, let's stick to the city for you, Ian.

That's fine. That's fine, honey. This sounds awesome. Sounds great. Yeah! Thank you guys so much. This is great. Oh, I'm so excited for you two.

Me too. I'm so excited I just pitched a tent. Oh, my God. Jeffrey. Camping. Camping, guys. You're disgusting. Moving 92.5.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late-night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Every day in just 15 minutes, we dive into one global business story that matters. You'll hear from Bloomberg journalists like Matt Levine.

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