Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update PODCAST: Church BBQ

Episode Date: July 12, 2019

Weve done some crazy Second Date Updates.. Some are weird, some are heart wrenching, and then there are others where a JUICY SECRET is revealed Which is what happened in todays Second Date. We didn't ...see it coming, and we definitely didn't think the person that gets busted would DEFEND themselves the way that they did Hear it all below!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:01:21 I've always been inspired by frustration. It came back to my own personal pinpoint. So we had to go out to farmers and convince them. Following that curiosity is a superpower. You have to be obsessed with the human condition. Listen to Building One on the iHeart Radio app, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. What happens when a beautiful single 792.5. Brooke and Jubal in the Morning. Second date update. What happens when a beautiful single woman shows up to a church event full of 20-something dudes? Oh, gosh. Well, they probably all have to start praying because they're thinking all sorts of bad thoughts.
Starting point is 00:02:03 And I wonder if that's what happened to Keith, who's on the phone today to do a second date update. He says he met the girl that he wants to call at a church function. And Keith, when you saw her walk in, what impure thoughts were you thinking? What were they? Guys, I'm embarrassed, guys.
Starting point is 00:02:19 I don't really want to tell you that. Oh, sounds like someone used the hymn book in a strategic place when he stood up. No, it actually wasn't in church that I met her. You know, it was at a church function. It was like a single barbecue. And yeah, it was like a nice day. And I've been going to this thing for four years.
Starting point is 00:02:40 Oh, no. For four years. Wow. And were you standing with your church buddies and you saw her walk in you're like dude that chick man oh she looks like she could pray for hours i would pray no no we were standing there and you know i was with my boys and they saw her first and they started talking and almost cat calling her now guys guys at a church event listen like you have no idea there's a lot of pent-up something going on with these guys at a church event listen like you have no idea there's a lot of
Starting point is 00:03:06 pent-up something going on with these guys at a church event when a pretty girl walks into one of these barbecues i mean you know you can go a year or more without seeing anything and then finally like a pretty girl walks in and like everybody gets like they start with i mean all right so these church singles barbecues are a lot like a construction site or prison. I mean, yeah, unfortunately, embarrassingly, yes. I haven't seen a pretty woman in ages. Yeah. So, Keith, were you able to restrain yourself and actually be a gentleman when you talked to her?
Starting point is 00:03:42 Yes, I was. The guys around me swarmed her, like, can I get you a plate of food? You know, do you want to go for a walk? And I was like, okay, well, I guess I'm going to hold off. I'm going to play it cool, because sometimes you know, if you play it cool, then maybe they'll get interested in you. Like, why isn't he
Starting point is 00:03:57 talking to me? Well, obviously you're the expert, seeing that you've gone to this singles event for four years. Your game is not working very well, Keith, is what I'm trying to say. You might be right. You might be right. All right. So how'd you guys actually start talking then? Well, into the evening, they start to do games. They'll do like these little sort of fair games, you know, and amazingly out of the luck of, well, maybe it's God's plan. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:04:22 She was paired up with me. Oh, divine power at its best. well, maybe it's God's plan, I don't know, she was paired up with me. Oh. Ooh, nice. Divine power at its best. That's right, that's right. Let's hope. But so she and I ended up playing this egg toss game where you stand close to each other, like five feet away, and you throw an egg and catch it,
Starting point is 00:04:39 and you keep going a little further and a little further, and eventually you get like 20, 15, we were probably 15 feet away from each other and she throws the egg, but she threw it too hard. When it hit me in the mouth, I did fall down on the ground. And I started coughing and trying, it was hard to breathe for a minute.
Starting point is 00:04:58 And this sounds dramatic. I gotta tell you, it's embarrassing. But what was nice about it, I'm gonna tell you, she ran right over to me. And she was standing over me. And she was very apologetic and very sweet. And she said to me, what can I do to make this better? And this is where I got brave.
Starting point is 00:05:15 Oh, nice. I said, what if you go out to dinner with me on Friday night? Whoa. Seize the opportunity. What did she say? Did she think that was cute? Well, she laughed and she said yes. Oh, awesome!
Starting point is 00:05:34 Okay. So did you guys actually make it to dinner or were you so injured from the egg thing you never actually went out? No, no. I recovered quickly. And we made it out to dinner. We went to Olive Garden. Oh, I love Olive Garden. What was the Olive Garden like for you two lovebirds?
Starting point is 00:05:50 Olive Garden was a different world. And not in a good way. No, he's laughing back there, but it wasn't a good thing. It was like we had been set up at the barbecue, and it was like we had all these games to play, things to say to each other. And then we get to Olive Garden, and it's like it just got so real like I didn't know what to say to her yeah yeah that's usually when I take one of those breadsticks and just put it in my
Starting point is 00:06:15 mouth and look at the person across the table from me just make eye contact awkward eye contact no no no no I I, I was feeling so nervous. And I only ordered a salad. And I felt like, okay, well, I'm just going to try to eat light. And she ordered like a full meal, like breadsticks, chicken parmesan, and like a side of shrimp scampi. I'm going to tell you right now, I think you went wrong ordering only a salad. Yeah, dude. No woman wants to go out with a guy who's
Starting point is 00:06:45 just eating a salad while she like scarfs down i mean good on her but what'd you do while she was eating just looked at her you know what i did i just i took my time eat my salad one bite at a time and i just kind of tried to wipe my mouth after each bite oh just spread out the salad for an entire three-hour meal. One salad. Well, unfortunately, I wish it had lasted three hours. It was only about probably 28 minutes total. I think I timed it, which I shouldn't have done.
Starting point is 00:07:13 Probably. Well, it was. It was 28 minutes. And what she did was she got up at the end and she said, Thank you very much for dinner. And she shook my hand. And I tried to pull her in for a kiss, but she pulled away and turned away and left. Wow.
Starting point is 00:07:33 Did she seem angry about something? No. You know, she was really polite, but she just went ahead and walked out and left. Not mean, but just not nice either, you know? I mean, it doesn't sound like you guys had the best chemistry. Ah, man, I tell you, it was not the chemistry that we had when I had an egg in my throat. Maybe that's the problem. Maybe we can score you a second date, and then on that date, you just keep an egg in your mouth the whole time.
Starting point is 00:07:59 Play a song, come back, call her, and get your second date update, okay? Thank you, yeah. Yeah, man, hang on. Moving 92.5. Brooke and Jubal in the morning's second date update. Not to put too much pressure into the second part of today's second date update, but this is the moment where we find out if God really exists. No pressure at all, Jubal.
Starting point is 00:08:22 No pressure at all. If you missed the first part of today's second date update keith is on the phone and he wants to call a girl named amy who he met at a church function and then they ended up going out to olive garden the date ended with her kind of getting up and saying okay well thank you very much for the time shaking his hand and then walking off he said that she wasn't exactly mad but she also didn't seem very happy. So we're going to try to get her on the phone and find out what went wrong. Keith. Yeah. Are you ready to see if God, in fact, does exist and you guys will go out on a second date? I'm ready to call her. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:58 I will say, Keith, your date only lasted 28 minutes, and I don't think that that's fair of her. I think she should have given you more of a chance. Obviously, you were nervous. Doesn't sound like you drink alcohol, which is always my go-to to make myself more relaxed, so I'm hoping that you get another chance at this. Thank you for saying that. I don't know why it ended so early. Hopefully, she'll tell us.
Starting point is 00:09:17 Okay, I'll dial her phone number right now and see if we can get her on the phone, okay? Thank you, and God bless. Alright, here we go. Hello? Hi, can I speak to Amy, please? This is Amy. Amy, how are you? This is Jubal from Brook and Jubal in the Morning. Who is it? Jubal from Brooke and Jubal in the Morning. I don't know who that is. Well, Jubal would be me. And Brooke and Jubal in the Morning is a radio show.
Starting point is 00:09:56 And Brooke would be the Brooke part of that whole thing. Hey, Amy. And Jose would be that dude you hear right there. Hi. What is going on here? It's a radio show. And one of our listeners emailed us to see if we could get a hold of you who well his name is keith keith keith yeah keith keith from the church thing yes keith from the church thing the guy that you met at like a singles barbecue and then you went with him to the OG. The OG.
Starting point is 00:10:28 The OG. The Olive Garden. Olive Garden. I mean, if you're not hip enough with the OG side. Yeah, yeah. I'm just confused as to why you guys are calling. Well, we do a segment on our show. It's called the Second Date Update.
Starting point is 00:10:42 So Keith is wondering why you kind of left your date early and then haven't been responding to his text messages or calls. Is this for real? Yeah. Yeah. It's 100% for real. Keith really liked you. He said he had a good time. He said a lot of nice things about you, but he's confused why you don't want to see him again. I'm confused as
Starting point is 00:10:59 to why he would even call me back. What? Really? Yeah. He said that you were awesome and gorgeous and you guys had fun at the barbecue. Well, I felt really bad because we played some games. One of them was an egg toss, and I threw it kind of hard. Maybe I wanted to get out of there. I don't know, but it kind of went in his mouth,
Starting point is 00:11:23 and it got stuck there. Yeah, he told us about the whole egg fiasco. But then he says after that he asked you out. You said yes. And he thought you were having a good time at the Olive Garden until you took off. Well, we were having a decent time. I mean, he was a nice enough guy. He was.
Starting point is 00:11:38 It's just that, you know, I ordered a bunch of stuff. And he told me, order whatever I want. But he only ordered a bunch of stuff, and he told me, order whatever I want, but he only ordered a salad. And so I said, well, how come you're not eating more? And he said that he couldn't really afford it, but he'll pay it back, and he was borrowing against the collection plate. Wait, what? Borrowing church money? Wait, you can't borrow money from the... So wait, he steals?
Starting point is 00:12:02 So he grabs it out of the collection plate. Listen, I don't know how he does it. You know, all I know is he said he pays it back. So I just was out of there. I just had to go. Yeah, you're like guilty by association if you're eating a big meal at the Olive Garden on the church's tab. Right. Not even
Starting point is 00:12:20 on the church's tab. Like on people who's donating their money to the church's tab. I felt so guilty. I just had to get up and shake his hand and go church's tab, like on people who's donating their money to the church's tab. I felt so guilty. I just had to get up and shake his hand and go, you know, like, thank you, but no thank you, you know? Yeah, I had no idea that you could use that as a loan, too. I got to start going to church again. No, you can't. No.
Starting point is 00:12:37 I mean, what's crazy to me is that he told you this without thinking anything was wrong about it, is what it sounds like. That's the whole thing, is he didn't think there was anything wrong with it and that his whole thing was that he was going to pay it back, so that makes it okay. I don't think so. Wow. All right, so. Excuse me, guys.
Starting point is 00:12:55 Can I just say, hey, it's me, it's Keith. Can I say something? Yeah, you can. Keith, you were supposed to wait, but I'll just tell Amy right now. Amy, Keith is on the other line listening and wants to talk to you. What is going on? Keith really wants to talk to you, so he was waiting until his moment, and I guess he found his moment. There it is.
Starting point is 00:13:14 Amy, listen, you're getting it all wrong. Look, I just borrow money from the collection plate, and then I pay it back on Sundays. That's it. That's not okay, though. Like, I don't understand that. No, Amy, it is okay. Like, I do it all the time. I do it, like, literally every weekend, and there's never a problem. Oh!
Starting point is 00:13:31 Oh, my God. Guys, I don't know why everyone is freaking out about this. I pay it back. It's not like I'm stealing from God. I just, I pay the money back. Lord. Keith! Lord.
Starting point is 00:13:42 No! Yes, how do you even do it? What do you, I mean, are you just, when it comes to you, you're just taking the money? No, I mean, I work behind the scenes and I take the collection plates back and I, you know, look, every time I replace the money, every Sunday that I took from the week before, I replace the money. So I guess it's not really stealing if you're giving them the same amount back or is it still stealing? I don't understand. They're out money for a whole week.
Starting point is 00:14:08 Okay, look, you're making me sound like a bad person here. I'm not a bad person. I mean, I go to church. I don't think that's the qualifier. Amy, Father S*** doesn't know, but I think he has an idea and he's okay with it. No! You think he has an idea and he's okay with it. No! You think he has an idea? Maybe. He didn't tell you it's okay. It's stealing.
Starting point is 00:14:29 It's not borrowing. Amy, Amy, you are judging me right now and I'm praying hard for you. You are judging me. Don't pray for me. Pray for yourself. You're a criminal. On that note, I'm praying for both of you to go out again on another date. Amy, would you like to go out with Keith one more time I guess the lord will pay for it but if not then we'll pay for it
Starting point is 00:14:51 well they have to because otherwise he's gonna have to go on the collection plate and take it again I can just pay it back no Keith you have to stop this practice like right now okay it is not okay there's nothing about it that it's okay. Amy, do you want to go out again? Not really, Keith. This whole thing has just left a bad taste in my mouth. No, I'm good. Well, that's disappointing, you know?
Starting point is 00:15:17 And if I do see you at church days or another church function, I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know if I'll come up and talk to you. I don't know. Maybe I'm... Whoa. You're a wild card, Keith. That is some strong action. You are an outlaw.
Starting point is 00:15:31 No, I'm not. I'm not an outlaw. I'm a man of God, and I'm also human, and I deal with emotions like everybody else. All right. Well, I'm sorry you didn't get a second date, Keith. Thanks for trying, Jubal. Yep. And Amy, thank you very much
Starting point is 00:15:46 for being honest with us. I appreciate that. Well, yeah, I'm just glad it came out because it's wrong. The whole thing's wrong. It is wrong. Keith, it is wrong to do that. Also, can I go to church with you? Brooke and Jubal in the morning. I got a text in at 78592
Starting point is 00:16:03 that says, I didn't know you could do that at church. I might start going now. No. It's Brooke and Jubal in the morning talking about today's second date update. If you missed it, this dude Keith met this girl named Amy at church, and then they went out on a date, and she wasn't calling back. When we got her on the phone to find out why, during the date, he told her how he was paying for everything because on Sundays, he'll take money from the collection plate and then he'll always replace it with the same amount the next Sunday.
Starting point is 00:16:30 So he doesn't consider it stealing, but it still rubbed her the wrong way that he's taking money from the church, basically. Yeah, and the church doesn't even know about it. It's like borrowing your buddy's car without telling them and then not returning it for a week. Like, that's still Grand Theft Auto, basically. And I like how he's like, well, I pay it back every week. But did you never like add to it? They're always minus. And then you make them even and then you take it again.
Starting point is 00:16:54 Like you're never contributing. You're right. No, they're always down the same amount. Whatever he's taking. He's using the money to date, which is also just feels wrong. Right. Like if he's using the money to go like which also just feels wrong. Right? Like if he's using the money to go buy some needy children's school supplies, maybe. Nope.
Starting point is 00:17:10 He's using it to take girls out to the Olive Garden. Yeah. Unfortunately, he's not getting another date because she didn't want to go out with him again after she heard that he steals from the church. I don't know why. It's weird. Judgy, you think. You think she's being a little judgy.
Starting point is 00:17:23 Yeah, I do. Remember, if you want to do a second date update, all you have to do is email the show and we will call the person who didn't call you back. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on the daily show and in your ears with the daily show ears edition podcast from his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors.
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