Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update PODCAST: Dirt Snake Snafu

Episode Date: November 7, 2014

What's the most inappropriate thing anyone has ever said to you on a date? Amanda didn't even REALIZE that what she said could come off as offensive. But now she's wondering what she did wrong. We'll find out in the Second Date Update!(Image Courtesy: Bastian. Creative Commons)See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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or wherever you go to find your podcast. I'm Tomer Cohen, LinkedIn's Chief Product Officer. If you're just as curious as I am about the way things are built, then tune in to my podcast, Building One. I speak with some of the best product builders out there. I've always been inspired by frustration. It came back to my own personal pinpoint. So we had to go out to farmers and convince them.

Following that curiosity is a superpower. You have to be obsessed with the human condition. Listen to Building One on the iHeartRadio app, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. Moving 92.5. Brooke and Jubal's Second Date Update. You can find anything at Target. You can get towels, toiletry, groceries.

You can find sad, dejected boyfriends following around their girlfriends on a Sunday afternoon. Just defeated. Hung over, wishing a Mack truck would drive through the wall and run them over and just end their misery. But enough about my experiences at Target. You can also find a date at Target if you know how to look, and that's exactly what happened to today's second dater, Amanda, who is on the phone. Hey, Amanda, how are you? Hey, guys, I'm good.

What's up? So how does one find a date at Target? Actually, I wasn't expecting anything. I was in the cleaning supply section, and this guy just kind of came up to me, and, you know, he kind of used, like, oh, what kind of cleaning products do you use kind of line that always gets me going i know man oh you throw some simple green on me hello so you guys bonded over cleaning supplies pretty much i mean he came up to me and was asking me what kind of cleaning products do I use for my kitchen. How? And that was it, huh?

Okay, this is a pickup line, but I'll go with it because he was cute. Oh, so it was obvious that he was just trying to make conversation. I think so. I mean, he comes to the cleaning section and starts asking people what kind of products they use. I mean, maybe he had a real dilemma, generic brand name. Yeah. I don't know. I didn't know if maybe the two of you just thought it was so sexy to be talking about

cleaning supplies that you had to go out. How quickly did he move from cleaning supplies to let's go out on a date? Because that's got to be somewhat of an awkward transition. No, I mean, we were talking for about maybe like 10, 15 minutes. He's like, hey, do you want to go get some coffee? Which then coffee led into drinks. And I was like, yeah, it was actually, he was pretty smooth about it. I wasn't really awkward at all.

You get hit on a lot when you're out? Is this a normal thing for you? No, I mean, sometimes I get caught cold, but I don't get picked up at Target or stores while I'm shopping. So this was a new experience for you. If I were shopping at Target and somebody just started hitting on me,

I think it was pretty awesome. Yeah. So what did you guys do on your date? We went to this cafe, and we were going to have coffee, but then we know we both got hungry after we were chatting for a while. So we ended up going to a restaurant, having dinner. So it ended up being like a long, nice evening. Wow. Which is usually a great sign if things just keep continuing. What was the best part of it for you? I just think we were laughing a lot. We had a lot in common. We both love outdoor sports. Everything went well until the end of the date, which was just awkward.

Until the end of the date. Oh, man. We spent like four or five hours together, which is a really long date. Had a great conversation. We're laughing. And then in the end, I kind of thought he was going for a kiss and said, he stuck his hand out and shook my hand. Oh, what?

He handshook you? Oh, no. Yeah. A guy handshaking a girl is very unusual. Awkward. How did that whole thing, like explain to me how that happened. Because there are those times where you'll go to hug someone, but then you think they might want to shake,

so you kind of do like a half shake and then half hug, and it's all messed up. But was it like that, or he literally was making an effort to handshake you. I almost stepped in for a hug and he immediately took his hand out. So I kind of pulled back and then I stuck my hand out and shook his hand. But this is what's weird. He saw me at Target.

So I know he's okay. He picked me up. He asked me out. So he knows what I look like. It's not like we were like online dating. He had no idea. So I just don't like. It's not like we were online dating. He had no idea. I just don't know what went wrong at the end of the day.

After the handshake, did you guys make any plans to go out again or did you drop hints at least? He said, yeah, I'll call you. Let's go for a hike. I was like, okay. Sounds great. He even suggested the activity of going for a hike after handshake. Weird. Were you giving him weird signals like maybe you weren't being very obvious that you were

interested in him? Well, no. I didn't pick up on any weird signs, and I didn't give him any bad signs, so I just, I didn't feel that I did anything wrong, or I may have led him in the wrong direction. I just felt confused. Okay, so nothing weird happened on your date. Everything was perfectly normal, like you said. You guys were laughing, hanging out,

and then at the end of it, you try to go in for a hug, and he just sticks out his hand and shakes your hand and... Shook it. Yeah. Don't write him off because of that, Amanda. He could have been nervous. He could not kiss on the first date. I know, but at least give me a hug. I know, but you found a guy that

cleans. Don't give up on him. Yeah, the sexiest thing ever. Well, I have given up on him. I mean, it's been two weeks since he called me, and the last thing I remember is a handshake, so... Okay, so that was going to be my next question. It's been two weeks since you went out with this guy. Yeah.

And you haven't heard a single word after your handshake. Yeah, I haven't heard anything. All right, well, we'll play a song, come back, call him, get him on the phone and get your second date update, okay? Thank you. Hang on. Baby, I'm playing on you tonight. Hunt you down, eat you.

Moving 92.5. Brooke and Jubal in the morning. Second date update. You know, Amanda, I don't want you to feel bad that your date ended in a handshake. Because, I don't know if you know this, but in a lot of cultures, a handshake is even more intimate than sex. Okay, I don't know exactly what cultures that exist in, but I just made it up right now and it sounded good to me. So don't feel bad that the guy you want us to call today ended your date by shaking your hand and not giving you a hug or a kiss. If you're just tuning into the Second Date Update, Amanda wants us to call this guy named Danny. They met at Target.

He hit on her. They went out, had a good time. She can't think of anything that went wrong on the date, but it did end with him giving her a handshake. Did it seem like he didn't want to touch you or did it seem like a handshake was just normal for him to do? I feel like he didn't want to touch me. You feel like he didn't want to touch you. Okay.

But he offered the hiking after that. That's what the mixed messages have to be so confusing for you. Yeah, it is. I just think maybe he had a personal issue that I don't know about and I'm trying not to get personal. Maybe he's like a germaphobe. He could be. You met him in the cleaning section

at Target. That's a legit... I mean, that's actually a good theory. I just surprised myself with that. That might actually work. Alright, I'm going to dial the phone right now see if we can get him on the phone and hopefully find out what went wrong on your date and why he's not calling you back. Okay. Alright, here we go.

Hello? Hey, I was looking for Danny. Yeah, this is Danny. Danny, how are you? This is Jubal from Brook and Jubal in the Morning. Uh, good. I'm calling you today because you recently went out on a date with one of our listeners and they gave us your phone number

and asked us to call you. Really? Her name is Amanda. She emailed us and told us about how you picked her up at a Target. She thought that was a really cute move by the way. And told us a little bit about your date. Said that she really liked you.

But I guess it's been like two weeks now and you're not returning her phone calls. Uh-huh. Would you mind maybe giving us some insight into why it's been two weeks and you haven't called Amanda back? I guess I just can't see myself being in a relationship with her, and that's kind of what I'm looking for. Is it because of something she did on the date, something she said? I mean, I didn't get to know her really well, but she was kind of gross on our date.

How is she gross? Just her manners. I'm not sure really how she was raised, and it was kind of shocking to me. Wow. I'm very curious now, Danny, because according to her, your date was perfectly normal. She didn't do anything weird. The thing that she did say was strange about your date was how you shook her hand at the end. Is that why you shook her hand?

Because you thought she was gross? Yeah. I needed an exit. Can you give me one specific thing? Yeah. Was she sloppy when she was eating her food? She not put her napkin on her lap? What specifically made you think that she's nasty?

Well, it was going fine. And like halfway through the meal, she grabbed my hand and she leaned over into my ear and whispered, I'll be back in a few minutes. Okay. I have to honk out a dirt snake. No, she did not say that on the first date. Are you kidding me? You're lying about that, Danny. That could not be real.

I swear to God. What was that term again? What was that term again? What was that term again? Oh, man. She said I have to honk out a dirt snake. Was she being funny or was like this a legit? I thought she was making a joke and I just said, are you serious? She just said, no, really, I have to go download a brown load.

I'll be back. No! Stop it! She had to have been joking then. Yeah, I mean, come on. Come on, man. I don't know one girl that would do that seriously. She had to have been joking with you, Danny.

She was not. She left. She was gone for a few minutes. I mean, at the time, I couldn't eat. I lost my appetite. That's how serious she was being. What did she say when she got back to the table? Like, she had to have had a smile or been laughing.

Yeah, she had a smile, and she patted her belly, and she said... She said, it looks like someone dropped the kids off at the pool. Oh, she's so good. She said, it looks like someone dropped the kids off at the pool. She's so good. Oh, my gosh. Was your face red? I didn't know what to say. And she just jumped right back into her meal. And after a few minutes, she noticed.

And she thought I didn't like it. She asked me if I didn't like the food. And I said, I just pretended I was feeling sick. Dude, I would have been so grossed out. I've been with my girlfriend like a year and a half now and I don't even know that she does that still. And I don't ever plan on knowing that she does that.

Alright, Danny, I can understand why that would be a turn off for you. Yeah, that's why I shook her hand. I needed to get out of there. Alright, Danny, thank you very much for being honest. I'm sorry you had to endure that date. Yeah, thanks. I mean, I'm sorry too, I guess.

Is that all that you guys needed today? Yeah, that's just about everything. I'll let her know. Actually, why don't you let her know what the problem was on the date? Because she's actually listening and on the other line right now. Oh, s***. problem was on the date because she's actually listening and on the other line right now oh amanda did you actually say those things or is he over exaggerating yeah i said those things you did what why women do go to the bathroom and i like to joke around a lot and i said it in a joking manner and I was going to be honest with him, you know? Okay, so the lines that you used,

those were jokes but you really did have to do what you said you were doing? Yes. There's truth in every joke, Jubal. I don't know why you're being such a stickler about it. Don't you go to the bathroom? Yes, I do

but I don't tell people like that. I mean, you could have just said I'm going to go to the restroom or powder your nose or whatever. Yeah, say that. But it wasn't a joke. I had to s***. Amanda. Dude, I can't talk to you, girl. Amanda, you don't care at all, huh?

I mean, honestly, would you rather me at the table be like, hey, I got to go s***? No. I don't think that's what Danny's saying. No, I just, you could have said, I have to go to the bathroom. To say it that way is if, like, I'm your brother and we're hanging out, you know. Well, I'm just descriptive. I'm a joking kind of person, and I'm descriptive, and so I, you know, have fun. I will say, I wish I had a little bit more Amanda in me

because I haven't even talked about poop with my husband and we've been married. Every one, guys, be open-minded. Everybody does it. It's a part of our human biological, you know, systems. Like, we all go to the bathroom. Yeah, but we stop talking like that when we turn 14. Amanda, you're telling me no other guy you've dated before

has had a problem with this. No, my last boyfriend, he used to come out of the bathroom and we'd high five. Are you serious? I bet we're going to get a ton of people on the text board who want to go out with you

for this reason alone, Amanda. I mean, you're blunt and you're open. Yeah, I'm honest, guys. Yeah, I guess you're honest. I just, you know, it's a first date. I mean, when you go out on a guess you're honest. I just, you know, it's a first date. I mean, when you go out on a first date, you're supposed to, you know, be a little more careful with what you say.

But shouldn't you know me for me? Why should I be hiding things? Danny, you were attracted to her at one point. Couldn't you see the humor in it? I mean, she whispered in my ear, dirt snake. All right. Good point. Well, Danny, I would love to ask if you'll go on a second date with Amanda.

We will pay for it. I guess I can see where she's coming from. And it's great that she's so comfortable with herself. But I honestly can't stop thinking about Dirt Snake. So, Amanda. Listen, that's just me being who I am. And if he's uncomfortable with it, then we're just not compatible. Amanda, I really enjoyed meeting you, kind of. And, you know, good luck.

All right. No second date, Amanda. I'm sorry. Oh, I'm not sorry, guys. I'm not. And you know what? Thank you for letting us all today learn a new phrase in the second date update. Download a brown load will now be in my vernacular permanently.

Thank you. And you guys will laugh about it later on. Yes, sir. I know. Man, today's second date update has opened up the floodgates on our text message. Board at 78592 texts in like this one. My wife sat on my lap and farted on me on our first date. It was love at first fart.

We've been together for six years. We crap in front of each other all the time. It's Brook and Jewel in the morning. I'm moving 92.5. Why are we getting texts like that? Well, because this girl named Amanda wanted to call this dude named Danny and find out why he wasn't calling her back after their date. She couldn't think of any reason why he wouldn't. Everything went great, except at the end of the night, he gave her a handshake.

We called Danny, got him on the phone turns out that amanda is very open with her bodily functions and even uses creative verbiage when telling you that she has to go to the bathroom things like on a first date mind you leaning over the table going hey i'll be back i gotta go download a brown light just joking around with the guy about taking a number two and most people are not comfortable with that i am one of those people. I've known my girlfriend about a year and a half now. Don't even know that she does it. She doesn't.

Don't worry, Jubal. She doesn't. I don't even really like knowing that my friends are going to do it. I just go ahead and take care of that business. There's a lot of people on the text board that are cool with it, though, that they say they would go out with her.

Yeah, so many people. Like, where is she? I'm ready for this girl to be my wife at 78592. You guys realize she might talk about her time of the month with the same freedom. Yeah, but she's funny. Are you excited for that? You know, she's got a sense of humor. Is that a sense of humor?

And some people like that. Yeah, absolutely. It's funny like the first couple times, but imagine being on her five years from now. You've been dating for five years, okay? After five years, nobody's attracted to each other anyway And then You have to sit there and listen to her Continue to make these jokes

You're just like okay It's gotta stop at some point Another text in at 78592 This chick is amazing She's funny, open, hot enough to pick up This guy is a total tool I bet she's as dirty in bed As her dirty mouth I don't think you want that's as dirty in bed as her dirty mouth.

I don't think you want that kind of dirty. Yeah, exactly. That's a different kind of dirty. It might be bad. But everybody texting in at 78592, there's not a lot of people that are ripping her for being so open about having to take a Tuesday. This is the first second date that I've ever been scarred. I will never, ever forget the term first date. It's definitely not the first one I've been scarred.

That's so funny. I still wish ever forget the term bird's neck. It's definitely not the first one I've been scarred. That's so funny! I still wish I was more like her. I mean, the first time I farted in front of my husband was one of the most embarrassing moments. You told me to eat on the toilet and keep the door open and talk to each other. Yeah, but that's only with peeing, Lydia. Peeing is not gross. But you still keep the door open and have chats with each other.

You're still sitting on the toilet eating food talking to your husband, no matter what you're doing. Don't worry, you're like her. Yeah, you're pretty you're fine. You're exactly like this girl. eating food talking to your husband. No matter what you're doing. Don't worry. You're like her. Yeah, you're pretty. You're fine. Yeah. You're exactly like this girl. Actually, you're probably worse.

Stay more closed, actually. That'd be more open. You just wait. That is love right there is what that is. I don't know. I never want to be in love. That's for sure. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight

straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Tomer Cohen, LinkedIn's Chief Product Officer. If you're just as curious as I am about the way things are built, then tune into my podcast, Building One.

I speak with some of the best product builders out there. I've always been inspired by frustration. It came back to my own personal pinpoint. So we had to go out to farmers and convince them. Following that curiosity is a superpower. You have to be obsessed with the human condition. Listen to Building One on the iHeartRadio app, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. The OGs of uncensored motherhood are back and badder than ever. I'm Erica. And I'm Mila. And we're the hosts of the Good Moms Bad

Choices podcast, brought to you by the Black Effect Podcast Network every Wednesday. Yeah, we're moms, but not your mommy. Historically, men talk too much. And women have quietly listened. And all that stops here. If you like witty women, then this is your tribe. Listen to the Good Moms, Bad Choices podcast every Wednesday on the Black Effect Podcast Network, the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you go to find your podcasts.