Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update PODCAST: Dude in an Alley

Episode Date: May 30, 2017

One of our listeners (Tom) made one of the BIGGEST mistakes a guy can make while on a date... Like BIG. One that you can almost never recover from. But for some reason, we're going to try and save him anyways.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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The guy on the phone to do a second date update today scored a date with probably one of the hardest people to get a date with. Really? You know, one of the hardest people to get a date with. Really? You know, one of the hardest professions. They're used to telling guys no all the time. And you always dream about getting a date with them, but it never works out. Oh, I know what you're talking about now. I'm not talking about your local state senator. Oh, then we're not on the same page.

Those women are constantly turning dates down. The male senators, they're easy to get a date with. Like, they just send you random messages on Twitter all the time. You have to turn them down. But the female senator is really tough to get a date with. Like, they just send you random messages on Twitter all the time. You have to turn them down. But the female senator is really tough to get a date with. But I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about a bartender. Oh, yeah.

It is tough to score a date with a female bartender. It sure is. Because they're used to just drunk dudes hitting on them all night long. And somehow he did it. His name is Tom. He's on the phone right now. Tom, I bow down to you. Good job, sir.

Well, yeah, I mean, thank you. Did you actually hit on her inside her own bar? You know, I did, but not probably in the way that you think. I wasn't gross about it. I didn't want to be gross about it. Oh, because I thought for sure you just pulled down your pants and said you want some of this. That doesn't usually work for me. I've gotten kicked out of a few bars doing that.

So I'm glad you didn't go that route. So how did you do it? Because I'm sure there's a lot of guys wondering. I know I've tried to hit on a few bartenders and always cut and turn down. Yeah, I mean, honestly, I had the fear in me that I was just going to get shot down. So, and I guess this is the embarrassing part. I was like, let's Google how you hit on a bartender. And there's, of course, there's a million, there's a million articles. Really? I don't know why that shocks me. There's so many. And the thing is, it's sort of like pretty common sense school, which is like, don't treat her like she's a bartender. Just treat her like she's a human being. And how do you interact with human beings?

You like find commonality and you actually talk to them like a person. Oh, so just like you're hitting on a regular person. Yeah. Weird. Huh. Interesting. And you know that sort of idea of like, I'm not hitting on you because you're hot. I'm hitting on you because I think you're interesting.

We have, you might have something in common. Again, now Jubal's out. I'm so confused. He's so out. This is never going to work for him. What's her name, by the way? Her name is Heather. Heather.

All right. And did you stay there until closing time? How did you? I absolutely did. I mean, I stayed there as long as I could because I didn't want to, like, be like, so what's up, you know, when she's trying to do her job. Right.

So you wait until she's done, and then she's walking out to her car, and you're standing by her car. No! No, no, that doesn't quite... No, no, no. I just don't know how you did it. Yeah, I think you need to give up on guessing.

It was a slow night, you know, which really helped. And I was there with friends, so it wasn't like I was just there by myself. Good. And then finally when it was like we were all leaving and they were starting to put the chairs up, I was like, look, I know you get hit on all the time, and I don't want to be a creep and I want to keep coming into this bar and I don't want it to be weird, but I'd love to go out sometime. I'd love to have a drink or have dinner or something. And is that something you'd be interested in?

You just sort of like, you know, like put all my cards on the table. Man, my heart just melted. That's the nicest thing I've ever heard. No wonder she agreed to a date with you. And she was like, yeah, sure thing. Cool. What did you guys do when you went out? So we just went out to dinner and we chatted. Like it was, it was really great. Actually, it was very easy.

None of it felt like, what am I going to do? Or what am I going to talk about? It was all just very easy. And that felt great. That's usually not the case when it comes to going on a date. You know, usually I have to invent worlds of interesting things to talk about. And I feel like super, I don't know, self-conscious. And I didn't feel any of that.

So it was awesome. How did you guys end things? Well, we went back to her place and continued talking, had another drink and did a little make out on the couch. Like a little, a little make out on the couch like a little a little less so that was awesome and actually her roommates came home like sort of in the middle of it and that was super awkward. And they're bartenders too and they all joined in. This fantasy gets better and better. That would have been great.

No that didn't. But, that didn't. Oh, damn. But no, that didn't happen. We just sort of stood up awkwardly. I mean, we were, like, there was no clothing off. Like, we weren't at that point. You know what I mean? So it was just sort of uncomfortable, but also kind of funny. But that was a pretty good segue to the end of the evening.

She's like, hey, my roommates are home. Like, I should hang out. And I was like, yeah. But then as she walked me out, we kissed again. So I was like, okay. I felt like if we lost any momentum, we sort of got it back in that moment. You know what I mean?

Well, that's great. I mean, it sounds really sweet, to be honest with you. It felt pretty great, to be honest with you. So why do you think she's not calling back now? I have no idea, and it's kind of making me crazy. Are you showing up to the bar every day and just silently staring at her the whole time? No, I haven't. I haven't been back to the bar, just for other reasons, just because I've been too busy at work. But I also didn't want to, like, show up and be like, hey.

Creepy. Yeah, yeah, so I don't know. Like, I didn't want to mess up my relationship to that bar either. And so now I'm worried, like, I don't know how many things I've messed up or if I've messed up anything. Like, she's a super cool person. Like, maybe she's just going out with somebody else. Okay. You know, and it could be totally fine. It's the not knowing part. It's really hard. How long has it been? It's been a little bit over a week. Okay. You sound so normal and nice and respectful.

Thanks, guys. I feel like there's something that we're not getting. Like what? I don't know. Well, we'll figure it out. We'll play a song, come back, call her, and get your second date update, all right? That sounds great. Thank you.

Yeah, man. Hold on. Moving 92.5. Brooke and Jubal in the morning. Second date update, Tom is on the phone and he wants to call a girl named Heather. Tom did something that men have been trying to do for a long time. It's an age-old tradition. You saunter into the bar after a long day at work and you pull up your stool and you take off your hat and say

howdy miss i'd like two fingers of jack please why your gams are looking good today oh not the game i'm tired sure could use a load off my dogs are barking been plowing the fields since six o'clock this morning speaking of plowing fields how about you and me go back to my place? Or we just stay here at the bar, either way. And that's what happened. In other words, Tom went out on a date with a bartender. He got her number, they went out for dinner, and he says that they had a great time. He even ended the night with a makeout session back at her place that was broken up at some point by her roommates coming back and ruining the whole thing.

But she kissed him before he left, and then that's the last he heard from her. So we're about to call her right now and find out what went wrong. Tom, ready to go, chief? Oh, yeah, ready to go. Now, are you concerned that if she says something really awful that you'll never be able to frequent the bar again? Because you like that bar. I mean, that is definitely a concern, but I'd like to think of her well-being higher than that. But it's definitely a concern.

There are lots of other bars out there and lots of other bartenders. Thanks, man. I like your motivational speech, Jubal. That was good. I'm not telling you you're going to get a second date. Just, hey, there's probably other places that you could go, so don't worry about it. All right, I'm going to call her right now. Here we go.

Hello? Hi, is Heather there? Yeah, this is her. Hey, Heather, how are you? My name is Jubal. I host the morning show, Brooke and Jubal in the Morning. Okay. How are you doing?

I'm fine. How did you get my number? A friend of mine gave it to me, actually. A friend of yours? A friend of mine. His name is Tom, and you guys recently went out on dates. Tom gave you my number?

Yeah. What the f***? Why the hell would Tom give you my number? Well, we do a segment on our show called The Second Date Update. So Tom emailed us and told us about your date. Oh, okay. He told you about our date. Yes, he did.

And then he also said that he's confused why you're not getting back to him because he'd like to see you again. That's bulls***. I don't understand what the hell he's thinking. I am confused by your reaction. I think he didn't want to call you and ask because you've already proven that you don't want to talk to him because he's tried, I guess. So he thought maybe we could get you on the phone and be successful. Oh, he...

He sounded really nice. He sounded nice? Yeah, I thought he was nice too until I found out who he really is. He was acting like a f***ing a**hole. I mean, I don't know if he told you the whole story. He said that you guys made out at the end of the night and you even kissed him again to tell him

goodbye. That was the biggest regret of my life, I swear to God. Making out with that a**hole. Wow, what did he do? Because he sounded nice and he didn't mention anything about being a jerk on your date. Yeah. Well, obviously, he didn't give you the full story.

But this is what actually happened. The night went great. As far as I knew, I was going to hang out with him probably the next day. But a couple days later, I went out with my friend back to that same restaurant that he took me to, which was amazing, by the way. Wait, hold on. You went back to the same restaurant after going out on a date with tom right so i went and we sat down and this other random server came up to our table and she looks at me and she goes hey would you mind having your brother give me a call sometime soon wait what brother did you that's what i said i don't have

a brother i don't know what she's talking about. I've never been to that restaurant before other than with Tom. And Tom is not your brother. Obviously, Tom is not my brother. So was she talking about Tom? I mean, I wasn't sure at the time what she was talking about, but she brings up seeing me a week and some days ago with some guy, my brother, I guess. And she talks about how he met Tom when he went out for a cigarette.

Apparently, there's a spot in the back where all the servers take their smoke break and he was out for having a cigarette and they started talking. And she said that they had made out and clearly they had some form of a connection because she was pretty upset that he hadn't contacted her about it. And he said none of this to me. So wait, when did they make out, though? Like in the back alley while they're smoking or later on? I don't know. I wasn't there. I couldn't tell you when they made out.

But she clearly, obviously, I don't know this chick from a hole in the wall. And she claimed that he was my brother. So clearly there must have been enough going on between them for her to assume that. I can understand why you think he's kind of a jerk then. No, he's more than a jerk. He's a f***ing a**hole and a pig. Oh, my gosh. The only reason why I didn't sleep with him is because my roommates came home.

I was going to call him later, and then I find out when I went to the restaurant again that he actually was cheating on me. Like, what the hell? I don't know if you can call it cheating because you guys aren't really together. I mean, I get it. I get it. It's low. Right.

Cheating might not be the word, but it's the lowest f***ing blow, and it's a disgusting move, and I would never want to be with a person who claims that it's okay to be with more than one chick in one night. Oh, man. I like that. Well, Heather, I mean, every side has two stories. Would you like to hear Tom's side of the story? No, I actually don't want to hear his side of the story. I actually

don't even have time to be talking to you guys right now, but thanks for giving me a ring. Why don't you tell him to never contact me again? Well, how about you tell him? Because he's actually on the other line listening and wants to talk to you. Are you f***ing kidding me right now? No, I'm not. So he's been on the line the entire, he's heard this entire thing.

Yeah, you can say hi to him if you want. Yeah, let me talk to him. Oh, s***. Tom. Listen, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Yeah, you can say hi to him if you want. Yeah, let me talk to him. Tom. Listen, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Yeah, you should be sorry. You're a f***ing pig. That's the grossest thing I have ever experienced. And thankfully, I'm alright,

but you really need some f***ing help. Tom hung up. He did? So he is guilty. I thought for sure. Tom hung up the did? So he is guilty I thought for sure Tom hung up the phone on us Yeah he's a f***ing p***y of course he hung up the phone on you Oh my god

Heather I know you said you were busy But can I try to call him back You can do whatever you want I'll let you yell at him He's obviously guilty if he hung up If he wasn't so two faced right So if he didn't paint such a picture of such a nice you know i don't know what happened i'm gonna try to call him back and see if he'll answer hey listen man i i don't know what else i can i don't know what i can say

tom hang on tom heather heather's gone we let her go. Okay, so she's not going to yell at you. All right? Were you that scared of her? It's not that I'm scared of her. It's that I just feel like a complete creepazoid. So what do I say to her? Is what she said true? It's, I mean, yeah, it's true.

What? What the hell, Tom? Why would you call us and not know what was going on? It's I mean, yeah, it's true Well, I I don't know I mean I went out for a cigarette break and I don't know I didn't think that Date one was like I should wear exclusive. I don't know. I don't know. It was stupid. It was really dumb I told the waitress that she was your sister Yeah It was really dumb. And you told the waitress that she was your sister? Yeah. Oh, Tom. I just didn't. I mean, honestly, I didn't know she'd ever find out about it.

It was dumb. Tom, what about the makeout thing that she was talking about? Did you do that while you were out on the date? Yeah. Did I make out with the girl while I was out on the date? Yeah, like in the alley. Yeah, I did. We actually did a little bit more than make out.

What? I'm right here, Tom. Are you kidding me right now? This is unbelievable. Man, you guys said that she was not on the phone. Yeah. Sorry about that. I lied.

It's a lot of liars. Heather, we weren't exclusive. I wasn't planning on it happening. Yeah, that's fine. I don't care. I don't care if we were exclusive or not, but it's called human decency to not step with two women within two hours from each other. That's all I'm saying. And how the hell did you get that done in five minutes in an alleyway?

That's a long time. You're right. That is a long time. I mean, just so everyone knows, we didn't go all the way. We just fooled around and some stuff happened. Oh, yeah. No, they didn't have sex. Yeah, everyone standing ovation for the one who didn't have sex in the back alleyway of a restaurant.

Like, really big of you, Tom. Like, really big of you. I'm sorry. I'm really, Heather, I'm really sorry. I just had this night where I was on, like, I was on fire. I was in the zone, I was on fire. I was in the zone. You were on fire? What the hell are you talking about on fire? This isn't a basketball game where you're shooting three-pointers or something. No, this is you on a date with me, and you

f***ed it up. I don't care if you were in the zone. I don't care if you just slam-dunked me, but you need to respect me. You need to seriously see me as a person that's worth your time, and you didn't. You disgust me. I got to agree with her on this one. Like, Tom, how could you go sit back down at a table after making out with some random chick in an alleyway and then have the gall to go back to Heather's house? Oh, man. Look, I made a mistake, and I got caught up in the moment.

It won't happen again. I don't think I'm going to be in this kind of situation again. Yeah, you won't be in this kind of situation again because I'm never going to go on a date with you again. Do you understand that? Like, it's unbelievable that you even did that in the first place. You will not get another chance to do it again. Listen, I hear you. I know what you're saying, Heather.

You don't want to go out again. I just, I want another chance to show you that, that I can do this, that I can be a reasonable. Do what? Don't the waitress on our next date? Is that your plan? You know what? It's baby steps. You know, when dating, you got to start small and teach guys not to do that. Yeah. Heather, would you be willing to go on a second date with Tom? We'll pay for it. Will you please go out with me and let me prove that I can show you that I can... You will not finish your sentence because I'm going to let you know

exactly how I feel about you right now. You are a bag of s***. You disgust me. I actually considered sleeping with women after you made me so disgusted with men. And you made me embarrassed to go out on a date with a person that I normally would never go on a date on.

So grow a f***ing pair of balls and do not talk to me ever again. Heather, does that mean that you won't date any of your customers anymore either? Obviously, I've learned my lesson and I'm never dating another customer ever again. Great. Thanks a lot, Tom. You've ruined it for everybody. Damn it. Broken Jubal in the morning. A text in at 78592 says, I mean, I can see if it was a different night

because they weren't exclusive, but during the date? With like tons of exclamation points and question marks. Talking about today's second date update. If you missed it, Tom wanted to call a girl named Heather. She wasn't calling him back after they went on a date. She was a bartender where he liked to go. He ended up asking her out and they went out and had a decent date. But after the date, she wasn't calling him back after they went on a date. She was a bartender where he liked to go. He ended up asking her out and they

went out and had a decent date. But after the date, she wasn't calling him back. Why? Because she really liked the restaurant that he took her to. So she went back on another day with a friend of hers. And while she was there, the server came over and was like, hey, can you tell your brother to call me? Because he hasn't called me.

I was like, what are you talking about? And she was like, oh, the guy you were in here with, your brother. I was like, what was with my brother? It was the guy I was dating. She's like, oh, well, because that day he said he was your brother, we went out back and messed around while I was on a smoke break and he went out for a cigarette.

He actually hooked up with another girl during the date, during dinner on the date. Some dudes out there are like, we's my hero. I'm not my hero. That's so gross, man. That's a lot of work. I don't know how to pull it off, man.

That is way too much work. He didn't pull it off. He got caught and called out on the radio. Didn't pull it off at all. Although it does sound like the waitress still wanted a night with him. I think he's good. I think he'll just move on to the waitress and be able to get it there. Remember, if you want to do a second date update, all you have to do is email the show,

and we will call the person who didn't call you back. Just if you hooked up with somebody else during your date, probably know you got caught, and don't bother sending us an email on that one. Moving 92.5. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late-night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more.

Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The quarterback series. My co-host Brian Murphy, Athletes First CEO, and I are sitting down with the agents who have negotiated contracts for Justin Herbert, Deshaun Watson, Dak Prescott, Tua Tugnavailoa, and Jordan Love. Listen to Athletes First Family Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The OGs of uncensored motherhood are back and badder than ever.

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