Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update PODCAST: Dumps Gets Dumped

Episode Date: July 15, 2019

In today's Second Date Update we'e excited to introduce one of the most interesting characters we've had in a LONG time!! A man that goes by the name of Dumps!! And while his name may be weird....his date with a girl at the Zoo was even WEIRDER. In fact his date was SO STRANGE... Dumps ended up almost FIGHTING with a Zoo keeper. Find out why in the podcast below!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Rook and Jubal's Second Date Update. On the phone today, we got a guy named Paul who's not getting a call back after his date. And his email says that he took a woman to the zoo. Oh, that's a cute date. Paul, before we get into the second date update, I just want to check with you. She's of age, correct? Oh my God.

What's up, guys? I'm just making sure, Paul. Yeah, she's totally legal, man. Okay, cool. I've done a lot of full-grown adults just going to the zoo. But whatever. First of all, where'd you meet her, Paul? I met her at a special place

called Tinder. Oh, okay. I'm already going to give you props for coming up with a creative date idea off of a Tinder date. Yeah, you know, that's how you do it. You know, you've got the animals going, you know, put you in the mood. I don't know about all that. Took a dark turn. Yeah, you guys know what I mean, you know, puts you in the mood. I don't know about all that.

Took a dark turn. Yeah, you guys know what I mean. You know, animals, you got the monkey house. You got, you know, sometimes you come across a couple bears and they're doing their thing. You just kind of give them a little nudge and you just kind of, you know, do a wink. Throw a little wink to the bear like, yeah, you know what I'm doing here, man. Come over here, smile for us. Maybe you can get me lucky later. So what was it like seeing

your Tinder date for the first time? First good sign, right, is we meet up and she looks better than her pictures. Oh, cool. Because I've been in a couple of these things and you come across and it's like they're either heavier or they've got bad hair and it's kind they're either heavier or they've got like bad hair.

And it's kind of a bummer. Bad hair, huh? I like hair. You know, it's long. It smells good. You can play with it. You know, all of that. You know, again, it's the animal thing.

I don't know. Okay. I'm scared to be with you at the zoo if I'm her. Yeah. Oh, no, no, no. You shouldn't be scared. I'm all, it's all good. Okay.

All right. You've convinced me. There we go. Did she seem pleasantly surprised by you when she first saw you? I think so. You know, I try to keep an honest appearance on Tinder, you know. The only thing I can maybe is like, some of my friends call me Dumps. Dumps?

Dumps? Yeah, yeah, Dumps. And I'm a sanitation man. Don't call me garbage man. Sanitation man. Sanitation professional. So Dumps is your nickname? Yeah, Dumps is my nickname. And, you know, I sometimes I'm like a little bit, you know, I hope I didn't smell, you know, I was working earlier, you know, in the morning. But I think I was all good. That's the only thing I can really think of in terms of my appearance. Oh, dude. Oh, my God.

I don't feel like you should be the judge on what you smell like. Yeah, you can't even smell it anymore. Right. I keep a lot of Macari air fresheners in my car. Oh. All right. So tell us about your date at the zoo. How was it?

I mean, we had a really good time overall. But she wanted to see, and what I wanted to see matched up pretty well. And I have, like, an odd taste, you know, with animals. Like, we went to the snake house. All right. So you like the snakes? Yeah, I like the snakes. She liked the snakes.

Nice. That was fun. You know, we slithered through there. Then we went over to the, you guys know those, what are they called? The Koopa Cobra, you know? Capybara. Oh, Capybara. They're like the big rats. Those big rat things.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I don't like to call them rats, but yeah. They're big and they're just weird and they're crawling around. I think she liked that one, too. I think she was into it. All right, so you wowed her with your unusual animal choices at the zoo. Yeah. I was saving big things for last.

We were going to go see the sloth. Oh, who doesn't love the sloth? Dude, super cute. Right. They're so cute, and they're just chilling about, and they're furry and all that. And that was, like, my big, that was going to be my big finish. That was your big dismount to the date? Go check out the sloth?

Okay. But the thing is, like, we get there, and they closed it off for, like, you know, for the next couple hours. And I tried talking to the guy that was, like, you know, because they closed it off. So I found this dude that was working there and he said they're feeding them. Okay. That would have been so awesome to see. Exactly. That's what I was telling him, you know.

You know, I got a little worked up probably. What do you mean worked up? Are you like yelling at the dude because the sloth exhibit is closed? I don't know about yelling, but I definitely made him feel really bad for not letting us in all right so you were being you were kind of being a jerk it sounds like yeah i mean i thought i was being the the good guy there because you know i have a date with me i even offered him some money you know i thought we could get in there on the slide wow you know watch some feed it's like you're at a fancy restaurant trying to get that window table.

Yeah, exactly. But the guy was all not about that. He was like, he's going to lose his job or something. I don't know, man. I think it's a big con. You know, they lure you into these zoos with these sloths, and then they just break your heart. I'm going to tell you right now that, like, 99% sure that yelling at the sloth dude is probably the reason you're not getting a call back.

Yeah, well, it's their fault, man. No matter what. I just think that, I think we finished it off pretty well, though. You know, like, we kind of gathered ourselves. Ourselves? It was closing down, and she just didn't really seem like she wanted to be in the zoo anymore i thought all right like because you see the sloths were supposed to kind of chill us out my plan was sloth then go to my car listen to some tunes you know yeah i see what

you're saying like you see all the other exciting stuff you go chill with the sloth that mellows you out you go back to your car, listen to some jazz or something. I don't know. Yeah, yeah. Like, roll the seats back a little bit, you know? What? Okay. Are you kidding? She's not in high school anymore. You confirmed that at the beginning of this. No one wants to make out in your car,

man. Well, okay, but it was pretty nice. We listened to some jams and, you know, we didn't really kiss or anything because I didn't really want to, like, make that move. I was still a little, you know. Yeah, well, you want to seem respectful, too. It's a first date. Maybe you don't want to rush in.

You've already done a lot. Yeah, yeah. And then, you know, then she wanted to go back to her car, so I let her out. You let her out? You didn't have her locked up inside your car, did you? i let her out you didn't have her locked up inside your car did you no no i didn't lock her up i mean our doors were locked but you could have left you know i wasn't like keeping her in there okay i gotta say i can't believe she got in the car to begin with so maybe you were doing something more right than i'm giving you i'm serious like i after

a guy yelled and smells bad like I wouldn't get in the car. I don't. So you may have been doing something more right than I expected. I think so, too. Yeah. Don't underestimate me. That's not my first rodeo. I have taken a girl to a rodeo before.

That wasn't very good. All right. Well, we'll maybe get into that another time. But right now, let's handle this date. Okay. What's her name? Her name's Heather. Heather.

Okay. Well, play a song, come back, and call Heather and get your second date update, alright? Alright. Alright, man, hang on. Move in 92.5 Brooke and Jubal in the morning Second Date Update If you're just joining us for today's second date

update, Dumps is on the phone with us. His real name is Paul. His nickname is Dumps because he works sanitation, and he's not getting a call back today from a girl named Heather, who he took to the zoo. Now, in the interest of saving time, I won't go over the list of things he thinks went wrong on his date

because there's a lot to it. Am I right, Dumps? I mean, two things we nailed down, but yeah, yeah. I mean, I know that I probably should not have yelled at the sloth guy yeah yeah if you missed it one thing on paul's date he got very upset because the sloth exhibit was closed so he caused a scene by arguing with one of the employees and trying to get it open back up so he

could show his date the sloth i thought it would't. I agree. A sloth is a classy animal, and it would have been nice for you to share that with her. Yeah. Did she want to see the sloth, or did you? Who doesn't want to see a sloth? Right, yeah. Good point. This guy. Yeah, there it is.

Well, I'm going to dial her phone number right now, see if we can get her on the phone, and find out why she's not calling you back, okay? All right, cool. All right, here we go, man. Hello? Hi, can I speak to Heather, please? Yes, this is me. Hey, Heather, how are you? This is Jubal from Brooke and Jubal in the morning.

Oh, my God. What's up? So you listen. Is this about dumps? Whoa, listen. Is this about dumps? Whoa. What? It is about dumps. I had a feeling you guys would be calling,

considering he told me that if I didn't answer his text messages, he was going to contact you guys. Shut up. Oh, wow. Are you serious? He threatened a second date update on you? That's a first. Oh, yeah. Absolutely.

All right. Well, then I guess you were prepared for this phone call. We talked to Dumps a little bit about your date, and yeah, he's wondering why you don't want to see him again. I mean, where do you want me to begin?

I'm assuming, let's start here. What has he told you? Well, he told us that you guys met on Tinder, and that he took you to the zoo. Yeah, that was the only good part of the date. That was it? Like going to the zoo or just the idea of going to the zoo? No, I liked the idea of going to the zoo, but, I mean, did he tell you his fascination with snakes?

He told us that he liked the snakes a lot, yeah. I mean, it sounds like he likes every animal at the zoo. Totally. Well, I mean, specifically with the snakes, other than the awkward jokes he kept making about the sizes of snakes, he was banging on glass yelling, Wake up, snake! I mean, he painted it as a joint passion that you both shared.

Yeah, I love animals, don't get me wrong, but I'm definitely not as big on mating with rituals and weird conversation he apparently likes to have. Did he tell you that he got in an argument while we were at the zoo? Yeah. He told us that you guys went to the sloth exhibit and it wasn't open, and so he complained and maybe made a scene. Maybe made a scene?

Yeah. He threatened to fight the guy. What? Really? Because they closed down the exhibit for the sloths? Yes. And it wasn't like it was closed for the rest of the night. I mean, it was just simply closed for that time period.

And he threatened to fight him. I mean, I walked away. Yeah, I don't blame you. But, I mean, here's the thing for me. Like, that sounds awful. But then he said that you got into his car and listened to music with him. I met him there, and I had to park pretty far away because it was crowded. So the only reason I got in his car is because he offered to take me to my car, and it was late at night.

It was dark outside. Oh. All right. So you were like, hey, mister, let's sit in your car for a little while. I'd love that. No, I had no idea that getting a ride to my car was going to entail sitting in his car while he awkwardly played what he called chill music. I'm guessing it wasn't chill by your description. Absolutely not.

I mean, I don't even know what to call it. I don't know. He asked me if I wanted to hear the greatest hits and then he put on his own band oh he has a band too he didn't tell us that well yeah he said they were taking a hiatus but this supposedly was his greatest hit oh he's got a band that already has a greatest hits album apparently how would you describe his music just wondering uh honestly i'd probably compare his band to that of his nickname and job. Dumb? Just bad, huh? Yeah, to be honest, I really couldn't wait to get out of there. It's the worst date I've ever had. Wow, the worst date ever, number one. But memorable. Oh, it's definitely

a story for the book. Hey, Heather, I bet you he'd be excited to know that he left a mark in your dating life because he's actually on the other line listening right now and wants to talk to you. I had a feeling that's how this was going to go. Hey, Heather. What's up, baby? Baby? Baby? Dumps, why are you doing this?

Because I told you that if you don't get back to me, I would have to bring in some reinforcements to help me out here. Is that us? What's up? I thought we had a good time. Normal people don't do that. Yes, they do. There's a lot of normal people that do this.

There was a reason I wasn't replying. You knew this. You knew our date did not go well. I thought it went really well. And a lot of what you're telling me has been a surprise because, first of all, I thought my jokes were hilarious. You were laughing at them. You kept winking at me after every joke. Well, yeah, I winked at you so you know when the joke's done, so you know when to laugh. I was making it easier for you.

Honestly, your jokes were painful well that hurts i'll say that all right so she didn't like your sense of humor dumps but what about i mean i thought i proved myself out there for you i thought you'd be proud of me standing up for you trying to see the sloths. I know you love sloths. Because you threatened to beat up a zookeeper. You want me to be proud of you? I beat up any zookeeper for you, Heather. No.

He was doing his job. He was feeding the animals. That's normal. And I was doing my job of trying to get you into the sloth cage. And you love the sloth. I don't care. It's just a sloth. What do you mean it's just a sloth?

Like, when we first got there, you kept talking about the sloth. In the snake cage, you were talking about the sloth. In the cup of bara, you were talking about the sloth. No, I wasn't. Just drop the sloth, okay? Stop talking about sloth. They're so damn cute. It is true, Heather.

But Dubs, I feel like you're not listening to anything she's saying. Like you're arguing every point of how miserable she was. She knows how she feels. Yeah. Look, guys, she's just lying to you. She loved the sloth, or she would have loved the sloth, but she's just in denial about it. The date was a disaster.

Nobody is lying. I am trying to be honest with you. Whatever, Heather. I promise you, if you go on another date with me, I'm going to get us into the sloth cage. Whatever, Heather. I promise you if you go on another date with me, I'm going to get us into the sloth cage. Heather, what do you think about that? Would you like a second date with Paul?

We'll pay for it. We'll pay for your entry into the zoo. Maybe you can see the sloth this time. It's going to be hard to turn down. No, I don't want to see dumps. I don't want to see sloths. I don't want to go to the zoo. I'm sorry. I just don't want to see dumps. I don't want to see flaws. I don't want to go to the zoo. I'm sorry. I just don't.

The aquarium. Heather, that's on the table now, too, the aquarium. Sea otters? No, thank you. Dude, Heather's going to be the only person on the planet after all this that hates sloths. Are we done here? I'm sorry. This has just been a huge waste of time for me.

Yeah, we're done. I'm sorry, dumps. No date huge waste of time for me. Yeah, we're done. I'm sorry, Dumps. No date. Oh, it's all right, man. I mean, this is just going to fuel my music. That's really where my heart's at right now. Oh, all right. Hey, you know what, dude?

Send me a demo of the music you were showing her. I can put it on the radio. I'll give it to my program director here, and then I'll actually give you his cell phone number. And you can call him about your music. Such an a-hole. Thank you. No problem.

It has real good, like, Icelandic vibes, you know? Yeah. That's what we're looking for. Broken Jubal in the morning. Text in at 78592 that says, where do these women meet these creepy dudes? I don't know if he's that creepy. I'm talking about today's second date update, but definitely he's an eccentric dude.

Interesting. I would call him dumb. In case you missed it. Paul wanted to call a girl named Heather. Paul goes by the nickname Dumps because he works in sanitation. That's what his buddies call him. They went to the zoo and he was curious why she wasn't calling back. When they were at the zoo,

he actually attempted to fight one of the employees because the sloth was feeding at the time they went to go check out the sloth and it was really important to him that they see the sloth. Actually, he thought it was really important to her, but it wasn't that important. And then they ended the date by sitting in his car and

listening to music from his own band. Even though she didn't even want to be sitting in his car, he was like, I'll give you a ride to your car since you're on the other side of the parking lot. And they just sat there listening to music from his own band. Yeah. Even though she didn't even want to be sitting in his car, he was like, I'll give you a ride to your car since you're on the other side of the parking lot. And they just sat there listening to his music. So yeah, she just thought Dumps was an all-around weird guy and didn't want to go out with him again. I do like that he thought that the zookeeper would be like,

oh, you're on a first date and you're upset about the sloth exhibit? Yeah. Let me hold off on their feeding for you. Yeah, my bad. You just wanted to punch me? Oh, come see all the sloths. You guys want to come back here? Yeah, you can feed the sloth if you want.

Remember, if you want to do a second date update, all you have to do is email the show, and we will call the person who didn't call you back. Moving 92.5. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the

biggest topics in politics entertainment sports and more joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors and with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else ready to laugh and stay informed listen on the iheartartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You are cordially invited to the hottest party in professional sports. I'm Tisha Allen, former golf professional and the host of Welcome to the Party,

your newest obsession about the wonderful world that is women's golf. Featuring interviews with top players on tour, tips to help improve your swing, and the craziest stories to come out of your friendly neighborhood country club. Welcome to the Party with Tisha Allen is an iHeart Women's Sports production

in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. Listen to Welcome to the Party, that's P-A-R-T-E-E, on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Tomer Cohen, LinkedIn's Chief Product Officer. If you're just as curious as I am about the way things are built, then tune into my podcast, Building One. I speak with some of the best product builders out there. I've always been inspired by frustration. It came back to my own personal pinpoint. So we had to go out to farmers and convince them.

Following that curiosity is a superpower. You have to be obsessed with the human condition. Listen to Building One on the iHeartRadio app, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts.