Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update PODCAST: Faceburn

Episode Date: December 12, 2016

After hundreds of Second Date Updates, we were POSITIVE that we heard every bad excuse possible to get out of a date... until we heard today's caller. What she did to escape from the date is SO INSANE, it will definitely go down in history as the craziest excuse ever.(Image Courtesy: Francisco Orsorio. Creative Commons)See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money Podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch

your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast.

Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, y'all. I'm Dr. Joy Harden-Bradford, host of Therapy for Black Girls. This January, join me for our third annual January Jumpstart series. Starting January 1st, we'll have inspiring conversations to give you a hand in kickstarting

your personal growth. If you've been holding back or playing small, this is your all-access pass to step fully into the possibilities of the new year. Listen to Therapy for Black Girls starting on January 1st on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Are you single and feeling out of the loop? Put away that mouse and get out of the house. Join In The Loop, Seattle's brand new activities club just for singles. Go to InTheLoopSingles.com today. Moving 92.5. Rook and Jubals, second date update. Physical injury on a first date can sometimes put a damper on things. Only sometimes?

Sometimes. Other times, it can be downright hot. Am I right? Yeah, there's a safe word for a reason, people. Use it. Howie is on the phone with us today, and he wants to call a girl named Quinn, who he injured on their date. Oh, no. I don't think it's as bad as I'm making it out to be.

It never is. But we'll talk about it in a second. Howie, how are you doing? Good, good. How are you, man? Good, man. So how did you meet the girl that you want to call today? I met her on Facebook through a mutual friend.

I saw some of her pictures and thought she was really cute. So we started giving her pictures and thought she was really cute. Just started giving her compliments and comments and stuff. We just started talking. Throw her a like or two. Oh gosh. And then she's putty in your hands, right? Sort of. Alright. What was her name by the way?

Quinn. Quinn. Okay. What did you guys do when you actually went out? We were talking a lot about music and stuff, so I thought it might be cool to do a DJ spin class, like where you learn how to mix beats and scratch and stuff like that. That's a great date idea. Yeah, I never even thought of that.

Was she just totally excited about it? Yeah, we were both excited. It just ended up being a lot harder than we thought it would be. Can I be honest with you? When I read your email, because you said in there DJ spin class in your email, I was thinking spinning bikes. Like a spin class? Yeah.

Like you guys were exercising together and there was a DJ. There was a live DJ there? Yeah. Your idea is way better than what I pictured. Okay. That would be a terrible. Yeah, that would be bad. So how was the DJ class well it was fun I mean it was that's a lot harder than it looks man I

got to give those guys credit to do that you know so we were both having a hard time with it but we're having fun it was like laughing about it and neither one are you're gonna be the next David Guetta is what you're saying I don't think so all right did you guys go out after the class? Yeah, I invited her back to my place for some drinks and, you know, listen to music so we don't have to be the DJs. And it went pretty well. We started making out after a while,

and suddenly out of nowhere she pulls away and runs to the bathroom and came back and she was, like, blotting her face with a tissue. What? Like, apparently my stubble gave a rug burn on her nose. Oh, no. She was bleeding because you have facial hair. I've had that happen. It happens. No, seriously.

Yeah, it does. It's gross. I hugged my dad once and same thing happened. I was like, ow, man, what's wrong with your face right now? But blood? How hard did you hug your dad? I hadn't seen him in a while. I've had that happen. I've been making out with a girl, and it's literally given her a rash.

So it does happen. Oh, my God, you guys are so aggressive. Be a little bit gentler with these women. Yeah, I mean, it was definitely a pretty aggressive makeout. I had no idea what was happening. Once I saw she was bleeding, I felt, it was definitely a pretty aggressive make-out. And I had no idea what was happening. And, you know, once I saw she was bleeding, I felt horrible about it. Sorry about your nose. I still cannot believe that.

It's your fault for being a good kisser. Sorry about being such a man with this aggressive 5 o'clock shadow. What did you say to her when she came back and her nose was all messed up from making out with you? Well, I was, like, really sorry about it, and she was cool. I mean, she took it in stride. We kind of laughed about it. She was really down to earth. She didn't seem like she was mad at me or anything.

She didn't seem embarrassed by it or anything? Yeah, I mean, she seemed embarrassed. I don't blame her. She had tissue on her nose. She was bleeding. But, you know, overall, we had a good date. She let me kiss her on the cheek on the way out. Did you guys make plans to go out again?

I asked her if she wanted to hang out again. She said, yeah, sure. We didn't make plans right then, though. Well, yeah, she's got to let the nose heal before she can go out again. How many times have you tried to get a hold of her since that night? I texted her twice. First time, just kind of trying to be cute, asking about her nose, and didn't hear anything. And then I tried her again, just to be like, hey, what's up?

And nothing. Have you texted her a picture of Rudolph? Of course I have. Just rub it in. So you haven't heard a word from her since your date? Nope. And have you asked your mutual friend that you guys both know on Facebook if she said anything about your guys' date? I haven't asked

her. I didn't... I mean... I just thought that might be kind of weird. Yeah. So just start bugging people about it. Hey. Did she talk to you yet? What's up with Quinn? Why isn't she calling me back? I need to know. Alright, well, we'll play a song,

come back, call her, and get your second date update, okay? Sounds great. Howie is on the phone with us, and he wants to do a second date update today for a girl who he met on Facebook. They went out to a DJ class, went back to his house, and ended up making out for a while until she got a rug burn on her nose from his stubble and started to bleed.

We're about to call her right now and see if that's the reason that she's not calling him back. Howie, I was thinking about it, and let's see. So you injured her physically within about two hours of your time together.

I'm guessing she's probably not calling you back because she's just waiting to serve you with legal papers. That's what I think. I hope not. Wait, was she into the makeout session? Because it just seems a little aggressive if you're making her bleed off of some stubble. She seemed into it. I mean, everything seemed to be going well until that one moment.

Yeah. All right, cool. Well, we're going to dial the phone number right now, get her on the phone, and see if that's the reason she's not calling you back, okay? Cool. All right. Hello? Hi, can I speak to Quinn, please?

This is Quinn. Hey, Quinn, Quinn, please? This is Quinn. Hey, Quinn, how are you? This is Jubal from Brook and Jubal in the Morning. Sorry, can you say again? This is Jubal from Brook and Jubal in the Morning. What is that? It's a radio show. We do a segment on our show called The Second Date Update.

Uh-huh. It's where if you go out on a date with somebody and then don't call them back after, we get you on the phone to ask why. I don't know. I don't understand what you're talking about at Checkraise. You recently went out on a date with one of our listeners and they emailed us about you

because you haven't been returning any of their phone calls or text messages. Who did that? His name is Howie. What? I'm sorry. So Howie got in touch with you and asked you to...

Yes. He emailed us and asked us to get a hold of you to find out why you're not calling him back. We actually talked to Howie and he told us a little bit about your date. He said that you guys had a great time, so he's confused. Hmm. Does that mean that you didn't have a great time?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I can't believe this is happening. What did you think of Howie when you guys went out? I mean, he's totally nice. I would be friends with him. That's cool. So he's good enough to friend zone after one date, but not good enough to date romantically. Yeah, I mean, I...

Oh, my God. I mean, I'll just tell you. So he's just not a very good kisser. So, you know, what are you going to do? Are you talking about the rash that he gave you? He told you about that? He told us about it. I wasn't trying to blow up his spot too early, so I didn't want to bring it up to you.

But now that you say that he's a bad kisser, I'm guessing that that's the issue. Well, that wasn't entirely true. Wait, the bleeding wasn't entirely true, or... Yeah. Um... What? Well, he's, like, a really wet

and sloppy kisser, like, all at once. Like a washing machine, like, sucking on my face. So it was just really drooly and slobbery and gross. I mean, honestly, I've, like, never had that experience, and I really didn't know what to do. It was, like, a lot and kind of gross. So I went into the bathroom, and I was just like,

how do I get out of this? So I was sitting there and I saw that he had a loofah. Saw that he had a what? A loofah. A loofah like a shower thing? Yeah, like a rough sponge thing. Okay. So I rubbed it on my nose. What? You gave yourself a rash on your nose

from his loofah? Are you serious? I didn't know what to do. It was the only way I could think of getting out of it. Are you being serious right now? I know. I'm not proud of it. I mean... Have you ever had a rash like that from making out before, or that's just something that came to you? I had a roommate who did. Okay. And so you drew on the experience of your roommate and took his loofah, rubbed it on your nose until it started to bleed, so that you could say he gave you a rash so he didn't have to kiss you anymore. Why didn't you just say, I have to go?

Like, why would you ever do something like that? Well, honestly, like, it was going well until then, and he knew I didn't have anywhere to go. It would have been so weird. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know where to get out of there. As weird as what you did, I don't think so. I was desperate. How long did it take for your nose to heal?

I still have a little stab on my nose. It's been like over a week that you've damaged your nose to get out of a date with this guy. Yeah, it's not one of my most proudest moments. That is amazing. Quinn, thank you for being honest with us. I appreciate it. Oh, my God. I can't believe I said that.

Now I feel like I must be honest with you and let you know that Howie is actually on the other line listening. What? Yeah, I feel like I owe you that. Hey, Quinn. Oh, my God. Geez, I don't know what to say here. I've never had any complaints about my kissing in

my entire life yeah howie she didn't just complain about it she damaged her body to not kiss you i don't even know what to say i don't know what to say either well you just said it i guess yeah I think actions speak louder than words here. This is so crazy to me. I really didn't want you to know. I mean, I'm sorry. I mean, was I really that bad of a kisser? I don't know what else to tell you.

You know the story now. Quinn, there has to be something. I mean, I've made out with some pretty bad kissers before. You can kind of maybe coach them a little bit. Well, I mean, I guess some girls are into that, and I'm not. So maybe we could... I mean, I can't imagine what was natural to him, so... Yeah, I mean, you guys just might not match up kissing-wise.

It's a thing. I wouldn't want to have to sit down and coach somebody on how to kiss, but I also would not take sandpaper to my nose in order to get out of kissing them. I would just stop. Well, Quinn, I would love to see if you'd like to go on a second date with Howie.

We'll pay for a second date. If you'll go out with him again. Oh, um, um, yeah. Try another kiss. Why? You have to kiss at the end of it though. If you try another kiss. What?

You have to kiss at the end of it, though. If you don't kiss at the end of it, I'm not paying for it. I don't know if I can go through that again. Hey, you know, if you give me a second chance, I'll lay off the wetness of the kisses. What? Oh, my good lord. That's a weird way to put it, Allie. Yeah, awkward. But, Quinn, would you be interested in going out with him again if he lays off the wetness of the kisses. What? Oh my good lord. That's a weird way to put it, Allie. Yeah, awkward.

But Quinn, would you be interested in going out with him again if he lays off the wetness of the kisses? Well, I did have a good time. So, I mean,

if he can reduce the amount of body fluids, I mean... Are we still talking about kissing here? Yeah, this is taking a weird turn. I may go out with him again if there's no kissing

or figure out some way to kiss with less slobbering. I mean, maybe less slobbering. Howie, do you think you can do that? Do you think that you can work on your kissing and slobbering and stuff? I definitely think so.

But just for the record, is second base off the table? Oh, my God. You have no shame, Hallie. He's trying to negotiate right now. You have no shame. Broken Jubal in the morning. Text message in at 78592 about today's second date update. It says, I like an aggressive makeout session,

and I've had many chin and nose rashes as a result. Happens all the time, but never self-inflicted. It's brick and jubile in the morning. I'm moving 92.5. If you missed the second date update, Howie wanted us to call this girl named Quinn. When they were making out, she got a rash on her nose, and it started to bleed. And he thought that was the awkward thing that happened on their date. But when we called her, we found out she just didn't like the way that he was kissing.

So she gave herself a rash in the bathroom with his loofah. Which I wouldn't touch a stranger's loofah with a 10 foot pole. Yeah, we got a text in too at 78592 says disgusting. I would never use a stranger's loofah on my face. Loofah on my face. That's worse than sloppy kisses. I agree. A lot of people are texting into saying there's kissing workshops

that this guy could go to. I've given a lot of rashes with my stubble. Are you being serious? Yeah, for sure. If you don't shave a lot, I have very coarse hair. And so if I know I'm about to make out, I'll shave beforehand. But have you ever been on a date that a kisser is so bad you

injured yourself to get out of it? No. Just say you gotta leave or fake a phone call or something. She needs to work on her excuses. It's like a debate on the text message board right now though. People are saying it's sloppy kisses of the human. Like I get rashes all the time. Text 78592. Have you ever had a nose

or a face rash from stubble? And has it ever bled so much that you had to leave the date? And have you ever actually loofahed your nose to get out of a date, or was this a rare occasion? Remember, if you want a second date update, all you have to do is email the show, brickandjubilantmoving925.com. We will call the person who didn't call you back.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money Podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all,

make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now.

Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, y'all. I'm Dr. Joy Harden-Bradford, host of Therapy for Black Girls. This January, join me for our third annual January Jumpstart series. Starting January 1st, we'll have inspiring conversations to give you a hand in kickstarting your personal growth. If you've been holding back or playing small, this is your all-access pass 1st, we'll have inspiring conversations to give you a hand in kickstarting your personal growth. If you've been holding back or playing small, this is your all access pass to step fully into the possibilities of the new year. Listen to Therapy for Black Girls starting on January 1st

on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.