Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update PODCAST: Fish That Swim

Episode Date: August 23, 2016

The girl in today's Second Date update is all the things you'd ever want in a woman: Hot, successful, well-spoken... but she DOES come with one small piece of baggage... and that tiny thing is the reason she's not getting a call back. Hear why in the PODCAST!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late-night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. the information you need to, well, get hired. Landing a job may be tough, but Get Hired is here for you every step of the way with advice on resumes, networking, negotiation, and so much more. Listen to Get Hired with Andrew Seaman on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you like to listen. The OGs of uncensored motherhood are back and badder than ever. I'm Erica. And I'm Mila. And we're the hosts of the Good Moms Bad Choices podcast,

brought to you by the Black Effect Podcast Network every Wednesday. Yeah, we're moms. But not your mommy. Historically, men talk too much. And women have quietly listened. And all that stops here. If you like witty women, then this is your tribe. Listen to the Good Moms Bad Choices podcast every Wednesday

on the Black Effect Podcast Network, the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you go to find your podcasts. This is podcast every Wednesday on the black effect podcast network, the I heart radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you go to find your podcast. Moving 92.5. Brooke and Jubal's second date update. The girl on the phone for a second date update today is shocked that a guy is not calling her back after he went on a date with her. Why?

Because in her own words, according to her email, she has never been blown off by a guy ever. What? And that's why they call her Sure Thing Amanda. Sure Thing Amanda is on the phone with us. What's up, Sure Thing? I don't think that's what she said.

Hi. Oh, she's fine with it. Okay, I lied. Do they actually call you that? I just made that up. No, but I'm fine with it. Okay. Okay.

All right. Well, I'm just going to call you sure thing from now on. So you said that this is the first time you've ever been blown off by a guy and not gotten a second date. Yep. This is the first time. How is that possible? That's what I'm saying.

I don't know how it's possible. No, no. That's not what I meant. I meant, how have you never been blown off? I don't know. I've just never had that happen to me before. So this must be a very confusing time in your life, and I'm sorry about that, Amanda. Tell us a little bit about the guy that you want us to call today.

What's his name? His name is Jimmy. Okay, Jimmy. So this is a story. So one morning, I was getting coffee before work, and I left the shop, and some guy ran outside after me, and he was like, you forgot this. And I turned around, and he had a comb in his hand. And I was like, what?

That's not mine. And he was like, I know, I know. I just needed something to get your attention. I just wanted to talk to you. Oh, okay. So it was a little trick to try to talk to you. So he showed you his dirty, bacteria-ridden comb that he had in his pocket. Well, I thought it was funny.

You know, clever, whatever. Are you someone who often gets chased down in parking lots for dates? Not chased down, but you know, guys ask me out. You know, we got to talking and he seemed cool and that's when he asked me to hang out.

And I said, well, I have work right now, but he asked for my number, so I gave it to him and we texted for a few days and Facebooked him, you know, did the background check, all of that. Right, so you did your due diligence to find out if he's a perv or not. Right, exactly. So he seemed cool, so we set a time to hang out for a date, and we went to dinner. How was dinner? Was everything cool?

Well, everything was good, except for one part that was a little bit weird. I told him I used to be a dancer. Nice. That's what I'm talking about. Now I know why you're always getting calls back. I get it. Not that kind calls back. I get it. Not that kind of dancer. I dance for a sports team.

I used to dance for a sports team. Oh, okay. I still. That's not quite the caliber of dancer I was hoping for. That's what I was going to say. Maybe he's not calling you back because you're not that kind of dancer. Well, but when I told him, he got this weird look after I said it, kind of like you guys did when I told you for the first time.

It's understandable. Oh, no, no, not that type of dancer. I used to dance for a sports team. Yeah. But then he seemed skeptical, like he didn't really believe me. So I don't know, maybe he thought I was covering up that I really was that kind of dancer. Is that why you think he's not calling you back? Because he thinks you're a stripper? I don't know.

It could be. It's the only thing I can think of. Are you insulted that a man thinks that you are a stripper? No. I mean, I told him the truth. Can I ask you a question, Amanda? Yeah. You don't sound like you're really that into this guy.

Do you want to just do a second date update because he's the only guy never to call you back? Kind of, yeah. I don't blame you. That's fine. I am all for that. It's weird when somebody doesn't, you know, call you back after a date. Yeah. I mean, I don't even need a second date.

I just want to know why he called me. I mean, is that okay that I still do this? Yeah, absolutely. It is. Why don't you tell us how everything ended with him? Well, he gave me a kiss on the cheek and we went our separate ways. Did you make any plans for a future date? No, he said, you know, I'll call you.

Have you tried texting him? No, I haven't texted him. Oh, yeah, you'd never do something like that. Well, I'm waiting for him to text me. But maybe, I mean, maybe he just caught on to the fact that you're not really that interested in him, and so he thought, why even put the energy in? I don't care. I just want to know why he's not calling me back. How long has it been, then, since your date?

Since you haven't reached out to him, you're just waiting for him to call. It hasn't been like a day or anything, has it? No, it's been like two weeks. Okay. Yeah, that's an official blow off then. This is the first time this has ever happened to me and I can't figure it out. Okay, well we'll play a song. Come back, call him and get your second date update, alright?

Okay, thank you. You're welcome. Hang on. 92.5. Brooke and Jubal in the morning. Second date update. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the stage, Amanda. Yeah, greeta, fellas. She's working for you.

She wants a second date update because the guy she went out with won't call her back, and she is so upset. And she's about to take it out for everybody to see. Get your ones out. Amanda's taking center stage. And gonna show us how a second date

update is really done. Isn't that right Amanda? That's right. Yeah. Why am I introing Amanda like that? Well, because she's a dancer. Unfortunately, she's not that kind of dancer. But she thinks that the guy isn't calling her back.

Because during their date, she was like, I'm a dancer. And then he gave her a weird look. Like you always hear when somebody just says they're a dancer. You're like, I know what that means. And then she explained that she wasn't that kind of dancer. But she feels like maybe he didn't believe her. That's the only thing she can think of as to why he wouldn't be calling her back.

She did also say that she's never been blown off by a guy before, ever. This is the first guy never to call her and ask for a second date. And that's more important to her than even getting the second date. She just wants to know why this is the one guy who wouldn't call her back. Amanda? Yep. You ready to get this thing going?

I'm ready. And if he says something That's right she is. Amanda is always ready. She lives by the motto if you stay ready you ain't got to get ready and we're ready for some hot second date action. You've been moonlighting

as a strip club DJ haven't you? I want that job so bad. Okay sorry Brooke you were saying something to Amanda before I started the music. Yeah, I mean, if it comes back that maybe he's just been out of town for the last two weeks and there's a totally reasonable explanation,

are you actually going to turn him down at that point? I don't know. I mean, I guess we'll see how it goes. You sound actually pissed that this guy's not calling you back. I am. I just want to know, like, of all the guys that I've dated, why is it this guy that's not calling you back? I am. I just want to know of all the guys that I've dated,

why is it this guy that's not calling me back? What reason does he have? Well, I'm going to dial the phone number right now and get him on the phone and see if we can find out why, okay? Sounds good. Hello? Hi, can I speak to Jimmy, please? Yeah, this is Jimmy.

Hey, Jimmy, how are you? This is Jubal from Brook and Jubal in the Morning. Who? Jubal from Brook and Jubal in the Morning, the radio program. Why is the radio program calling me? Well, because one of our listeners actually emailed us and asked if we could get you on the phone. Her name is Amanda, and you recently took her out on a date. Oh. Okay.

So Amanda emailed us and told us about your date. And she also said she really liked you a lot. And she's wondering why you're not calling her back. She said it's been like two weeks since you guys went out she's been hoping you would call to ask her on a second date but she's heard nothing and she's wondering is there whoa what did you bet she did i said i bet she did why do you say it like that? Well, Amanda is, oh boy, Amanda is, she's something else. We talked to her, just to let you know, we talked to her. She told us about meeting you. Thought it was really cool the way you are. I'm sure she did.

She didn't sound like anything that, I mean, you. Can I say she's a real pisser on the air? Sure, what do you mean by that? Like she had problems She's a nightmare She's a nightmare? Did you say she's a nightmare? She's a nightmare Why is she a nightmare?

What did she tell you? She just said you guys went out to dinner and had some good conversation, ended the date with a kiss on the cheek, and she was hoping to hear from you again. That's pretty much it. Yeah, well, okay. Amanda is a very attractive woman. But I could tell everything about her from her food order. What do you mean?

Like she's a vegetarian and you just can't stand those people? Like I feel the same. Oh, it's a lot worse than that. Okay, well what could be worse? What did she do just ordering food that pissed you off enough to like call her a pisser or whatever? Well, let me give you a blow-by-blow description. She started off by asking for bottled water, no ice. And it couldn't be tap water.

It had to be bottled. She explained all this to the waiter. Why is that so offensive to you, though? Oh, that's not offensive. That was just the opening salvo. All right. It got worse from there. Then she explained that she had certain dietary restrictions.

Like? She didn't eat any red meat. Okay. No gluten. No dairy. No fish that swim. What? But crab are fine.

No fish that swim? I don't, you know, like. Now let that sink in. So no gluten, no dairy, no fish that swim? Yeah. Let that sink in. So no gluten, no dairy, no fish that swim. She's a picky eater, obviously. Yeah. I even asked her, I said, what do you mean fish that swim? Oh, so she.

And she made this little wavy motion with her hand, you know, fish that swim. I said, yeah, I know fish that swim. Don't all fish swim? No, no, you know, there's some little fish that walk around, like shrimp, lobsters, anything with little bitty legs are okay. Is that just because she has an allergy or something? Oh, who knows? I thought you were just saying it as a figure of speech when you were talking, fish that swims. I didn't realize that was the exact words that came out of her mouth.

No, she actually said fish that swims. You know, I was going to just take it at face value, but she went on to explain to me that fish that swim have a higher mercury content. And so if you eat fish that swim, you're slowly killing yourself. You sound really upset about this. I wanted to eat a whole fish right then. Okay, so is it... Alright, so she's a picky eater. I've never heard the fish that swim thing before. Why not

go out with her on a second date, though? Is that the only bad thing? Wasn't that enough? I don't know. It's a high-maintenance issue. Can I ask, because I'm just curious, what did she end up ordering for dinner? I don't know. Some sort of salad? With water dressing?

You know something about her? With water dressing. So we talked to her about your date, and she didn't mention her dietary restrictions. But she did also say you're the only guy that has ever not called her back for a second date. You know that? Yeah. That's kind of hard for me to believe. I can't imagine all the other guys in her life have put up with that.

Oh, my gosh. You know what? Jimmy, thank you for being honest with us, man. I appreciate it. No problem. And now I feel like I must be honest with you because Amanda is actually on the other line listening to this conversation. Say what?

Yeah, I am here and I'm hearing what you're saying about me. Hey, Amanda. I care about what goes in my body, and obviously you don't. It's not high news. No, I was caring about what went in your body in a completely different way than what you were thinking. Oh, sir. Thank you for taking the words out of my mouth, Jimmy. I was hoping I didn't have to make that joke.

You're a jerk. Dude, Jimmy, I will say, to stand up for her, what do you expect? The hottest girl you've ever seen to then go down a cheeseburger? Thank you. She can't have that body that she probably has and also mow down on cheese fries all the time. Look, haven't you ever heard the phrase,

no matter how hot she is, there's some guy that's just tired of her s***? Yes, I didn't even want a second date. I literally just wanted this to happen to find out why you didn't call me back, why you were such a jerk. Obviously, I'm the hottest girl that you've ever gone out with, so that's for you. Look, I'm not going to lie. You're very hot, okay? And I totally sleep with you once, but I just don't want to eat with you again.

Oh, my gosh. That leads me to my question. Jimmy, would you like to go on a second date with Amanda? There will be no eating. Oh, hell no. Okay. I was going to say, I would pay for you guys to go to dinner, but you don't even have to do that. You can just sleep together once.

Not interested either, Amanda, huh? No, I'm not. Yeah, you're not missing out there, Amanda, whatsoever. Clearly. You know what? You're just a low-class jerk, and you obviously can't handle a woman like me. I don't want to handle a woman like you. I'd rather handle a woman that eats fish that swims.

And by the way, I don't care what you think, all fish swim. Well, this was definitely not a successful second date update, but we can try to answer the question on our text message board, 78592. Do all fish swim? Text it in. There's something way more important going on now. Broken Jubal in the morning. A lot of people texting in about today's second date update,

but most of them missing the point of actually what was going on in the second date update because most of the text messages that we're getting in are just wanting dates with either party,

the guy or the girl from the second date update. Text in like this at 78592. That southern accent is so sexy. You can give him my number. Another text at 78592 that That southern accent is so sexy. You can give him my number. Another text at 78592 that says, tell her to hit me up.

Another text in at 78592 that says, I'm in love with Jimmy. Give him my number. LMAO. So everybody wants Jimmy's number. Jimmy did have a southern accent. It doesn't take much. Nobody could pay attention to what was actually going on in the second date update. They're just like, he's dreamy.

If you missed the second date update, this girl Amanda wanted us to call a sexy guy named Jimmy. Apparently, we know why she wanted him to call her back because apparently he's the sexiest man on the planet. According to the text messages. And he owned me. At 78592. And we got him on the phone. And the reason that he wasn't calling her back was because when they were out eating she said I don't

have very strict dietary needs and I don't eat any fish that swims and that made him angry and people are also pissed at her for that because they're like those are crustaceans that don't swim all fish swim I feel like there's a lot of marine biologists that was in the show because we're getting a lot

of technical it was one of those ridiculous things that people said. I only eat purple fish and only the ones that don't swim and the ones that like can blink. Can fish even blink? I didn't think they could. Yeah, there's like two fish that can blink and I eat only those ones. And she said it was something

about the mercury in the water and the fish that swim, according to her, have higher levels of mercury. I don't know. She's just trying to sound smart. Apparently, it just comes down to him not wanting to go out with somebody who's a picky eater.

Yeah. And a little bit high maintenance. Yes, definitely. It's like when you go out with somebody who's like, I'm a pescatarian. Yeah. Whatever. You eat a little bit of meat. You eat fish.

Yeah, you eat fish. But anyway, he didn't want to go out with her again. He said no, but he'll be fine because he's getting tons of text messages from people who just want to go out and date with him because he had a southern accent. So I'm not worried about Jimmy. I am, however, worried about Amanda, that she's not going to be able to find anything to eat in the near future. Now I can't even eat the fish that walk.

So I don't know. Or the vegetables that grow. I'm not going to eat them anymore either. Remember, if you want a second date update, all you have to do is email the show, and we will call the person who didn't call you back. Moving 92.5. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast.

Join late-night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Tomer Cohen, LinkedIn's Chief Product Officer. If you're just as curious as I am about the way things are built, then tune in to my podcast, Building One. I speak with some of the best product builders out there. I've always been inspired by frustration.

It came back to my own personal pinpoint. So we had to go out to farmers and convince them. Following that curiosity is a superpower. You have to be obsessed with the human condition. Listen to Building One on the iHeartRadio app, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. The OGs of uncensored motherhood are back and badder than ever. I'm Erica. And I'm Mila.

And we're the hosts of the Good Moms, Bad Choices podcast, brought to you by the Black Effect Podcast Network every Wednesday. Yeah, we're moms. But not your mommy. Historically, men talk too much. And women have quietly listened. And all that stops here. If you like witty women, then this is your tribe.

Listen to the Good Moms, Bad Choices podcast every Wednesday. On the Black Effect Podcast Network, the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you go to find your podcast.