Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update PODCAST: Her Dog Says I Love You

Episode Date: January 26, 2017

In today's second date update, we've heard of "puppy love" before, but the girl in today's call takes that to a WHOLE new level...you'll understand what we mean once you hear the podcast.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else.

Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Looking for the perfect birthday or anniversary gift or a special date night? Well, then you need ZodArt, Seattle's only exotic car rental company. Visit ZodArt.com to book an exotic special car for that very special day. Moving 92.5. Rook and Jubels these second date updates by giving you a little information about the email that the person sent who wants to call somebody. Well, today I'm going to start it by giving you some information about the things they didn't say in their email.

Katie, who is on the phone to do a second date update right now, didn't say anything about having a relationship with another woman before. What? Wait, should she have? Did she have a relationship? I don't know. She left it out of her email. Or are you just making stuff up of things that could be a possibility? Katie, I noticed that your email didn't mention anything about that at all. What?

Yeah, exactly, Katie. Any reason why you left that out? What are you talking about? I don't know. Just wondering why you left that out? What are you talking about? I don't know. Just wondering why you left that out of your email. Katie, I'm sorry. Stop fantasizing, freak. Well, I was just wondering.

Okay, we'll get on to the second date update then, I guess. I like Katie already. I'll say that. I'm going to give you that important information. Katie, you emailed us about a guy named Dennis. Uh-huh. So why don't you tell us what your email did say then since everybody now knows what it didn't say.

Whatever. So your email was about a guy named Dennis. Where'd you meet Dennis? Well, we met through a dating app. You know? I really, really liked Dennis.

Okay, and why'd you like Dennis so much? He was super polite. Like, you know, he did all the gentleman things. Open up my door, pull out my chair, push it in.

I did not expect you to say polite after I met him on a dating app. I thought for sure you were going to go with hot or big package or... Oh, he was hot.

Yeah, of course. I'm super attracted to him. I mean, I wouldn't have gone on a date with him. He was hot. Yeah. You know, he's tall, got a great smile, dimples, super sexy. Okay. And what did you guys do for your date? We went out for drinks. I suggested this place by my house that I haven't been to before.

And it was kind of expensive. He paid for everything, you know. Again, another reason to like the dude. Yeah. Right? Yeah, I mean, I even offered to pay for, like, the tip, and he wouldn't let me. So, can I ask you, were you kind of planning ahead for a hookup since you picked a place close to your house? I did say it's a dating app, right? I mean, that would have been my game plan if I was in your situation and I picked a bar.

I wasn't planning on it, but I wasn't against it either. Okay. So, yeah, your email did say that you guys went back to your place. Was that his suggestion or your suggestion? Well, it was my suggestion. I live right there. All right. Duh.

Good. And how did everything go once you went? Put it on the table. And how did everything go once you went? Put it on the table. And how did everything go once you got back to your place? Honestly, it didn't go as well as I'd hoped. Okay, so that means he, I'm guessing, did not stay the night. No. No, he didn't stay the night.

That's sad to hear. Well, what did happen? Sad. Why are you guys laughing at me? It's funny. Sad. Why are you guys laughing at me? It's funny. What happened? We started watching a movie. We had some more drinks.

We were talking with my dog. Did you say talking with your dog? Oh, yeah. Yeah, my dog talks. You mean your dog actually talks like human language? My dog tries to speak a human language, yes. I like how you just nonchalantly threw that into the list of other things that happened in the night. Do other people hear your dog talk or just you?

Do you want to hear him talk? I'd love to hear him talk. I can make him say I love you if you want to hear it. Yeah, I'd love to hear that. Oh I can make him say I love you if you want to hear it. I'd love to hear that. Hang on. Are you a baby? I love you.

Oh my god! I love you. I love you. I love you. Oh my god, that is an amazing dog trick. I will give you that. Yeah. I heard your dog tell me to go kill my neighbors. I heard it.

I heard I love you, but apparently we... Okay, that's awesome. So you spent your time doing that with your dog on your date. I love him. He loves you too, obviously. Can we just have the dog do the rest of the second date update instead? So did he seem to like that? Did he enjoy talking to your dog? I think everybody does. He's super cute.

Yeah, how could you not? So, I mean, after you talked to your dog, is that when he left? No, I don't know. He split after we were talking to my dog for a while. I haven't heard from him since. Was it? I've been trying to reach him. Was it like abrupt?

Did he just get up and leave or did you guys kiss, hug, anything? We didn't even kiss. What? How did he act when he was leaving? He acted like he had to go poop or something, and he just got up and left. Just rushed out? He just has a really constipated face.

I'm just super confused as to why he's not called me back. We had a good date. I need your help, please. Okay. Well, we'll play a song, come back, call him, and get your second date update, all right? Thank you. Keep that dog handy in case

you need to talk to him. Moving 92.5 Brooke and Jubal in the morning. Second date update. In all of the second date updates we've done, we've had people describe being left in various ways. Like somebody got cold

and then wouldn't talk to them. Yeah. Somebody was just short and then left. We've never had anybody say that somebody left as if they needed to poop really bad. And that's what Katie says her date did. She described him as leaving so quickly. It was like he had to poop real bad. It's such a vivid description though.

But we all know. We all know what that looks like. They met on Tinder. They went out to a bar, went back to her place, played with her dog a little bit and then that's when she said he got up as if he had to go to the bathroom and just took off and she hasn't

heard from him since. Katie, he might have had IBS. He could still be going. Are you ready to give him a call? Yes. Are you nervous? I wouldn Are you nervous? I wouldn't say nervous. I'm just a little confused. Okay.

Okay, well, let's call this guy and find out what happened, okay? Okay. And if it's really echoey, we know where he is. Yeah. That's a very good point. Here we go. Hello? Hi, I was looking for Dennis. Um, yeah.

Who's this? Dennis, how are you? This is Jubal from Brooke and Jubal in the Morning. Uh, okay. You ever heard of the show before? The show? Yeah, the show.

You ever heard of it? Sounds like he's real familiar. What's the show? The show is called Brooke the show. You ever heard of it? Sounds like he's real familiar. What's the show? The show is called Brooke and Jubal in the Morning. It's a radio show, and one of our listeners actually emailed us about you. What? Yeah, that's why I'm calling today. They asked if

we could get you on the phone and ask you a few questions. What are you talking about? We do a segment on our show. It's called The Second Date Update. So you recently went out on a date with somebody, and now you're not calling them back, so they asked us if we could talk to you and find out the reason. Have you been out on a lot of dates in the past couple weeks?

I mean, I've been on a couple. Have you been on any dates with a girl named Katie? Oh, my God. All right. Yeah, you definitely remember Katie. Well, Katie is the one who wanted us to get you on the phone to find out why you're not calling her back. Look, I'm not interested in seeing her again.

Yeah, she kind of figured that because you haven't been responding to any of her phone calls, but do you mind telling us why? You've got to understand how confusing it would be for a guy to come back to your place and then split with no reason at all. Wait, how do you know that? Oh, that's because we talked to Katie about your date.

She said that you guys met on Tinder and then went to a bar, went back to her place to watch a movie, hung out with her and her dog, and then in the middle of it, this is how she described you leaving, okay? You can tell me if this is true or not. She said you jumped up and left as if you had to poop real bad. That's an understatement. So you did have to go to the bathroom? I didn't have to go to the bathroom, no, but I needed to get out of there.

Why'd you need to leave so bad? Honestly, I don't even really know how to describe it. It was probably the weirdest date of my life. That is a bold statement, sir. It is a bold statement. What was so weird about it? Everything was normal in the beginning. We went on a date.

She was cute. She was attractive. But I guess, like, looks hide the beginning. We went on a date. She was cute. She was attractive, but I guess looks hide the crazy. She invited me back to her place, and I was like, alright, some things are going to happen. It's going to be a good night. She actually told us she was thinking the same thing, and that's why she was surprised you left. Well, I was thinking that until a couple more events unfolded. We got to our place. We're watching a movie.

It was nice. We were having a couple extra drinks. And then I was just sitting there. And I heard this tiny rodent dog that she has ran in and crawled on her and started being like super jumpy and crazy i'm like cool everyone has dogs everyone has pets and then she's like she told us about that she said that you guys hung out and like her dog knows how to say i love you you know yeah that's what she did like she started saying like do you want to hear my dog talk and i was like okay because i'm not going to say no because i'm on a date and we're at her place yeah so you're pretty much saying yes to

almost anything at this point yeah and then she's saying like my dog can say i love you and i was like okay prove it and then she's like do you say i love you and then the dog was making weird sounds that i guess sounded like words cool everyone has tricks with their dogs it was fun that's not that's not crazy weird and then the dog jumps down. And so the dog starts, like, humping my leg. Okay. That also happens. That'll happen. I'm willing to forgive it.

But she kept being like, no. But that's all she was saying was no. Like, the dog wasn't stopping. She kept saying no. So you were getting humped by the wrong thing. I'm getting humped by the wrong thing. I'm getting humped by the wrong thing in the room. I mean, why is that so

uncomfortable, though? A little teacup-sized dog is humping your leg? I mean, we're not at the end of the story yet. Oh, okay. So the dog was humping my leg, and this is where it gets really, really bizarre. This is where we reach the point of

no return here. She moves her leg forward. Oh my God, I can't believe this. And then she encourages the dog to hump her leg instead of mine. Yeah, it gets worse. So the dog starts

kind of going to town on her leg. And she starts encouraging it. What do you mean? So the dog is like humping her leg, and she's like, good girl. What? That's a good girl. And I gave her this look, and she was like, oh, don't worry.

Once she finishes, it'll be better. Gross. So in order to get the dog off of you, she offered up her leg instead and let the dog do its thing? Did it? Yeah. In order to get the dog off of me, she let the dog get off on her. No! Oh, my God!

How long did this take? I'm freaking out at your story right now. Keep in mind, the entire time this is happening, the movie was still going. We're still supposed to be on this date. And she says to me, she actually says, just keep watching the movie and don't pay attention to the dog.

She's like, come on. Good girl. Good girl. Yeah. And she's borderline dirty talking this dog. That is so weird. Well, she wanted the dog to finish so it stopped bugging you guys so you guys could start doing some work i'm sorry like first off what dog understands the dirty talking dog to like have that be something that helps to get there and two why is that a decision you would ever like why is that a training tool for you oh my god

what did you say to her? Did you say anything? What am I supposed to say? I just, like, laser-eyed at the television and was just hoping this whole thing would end. I just picture you sitting there with your hands at your side trying to look at anything but her and the dog. So then the dog, like, in, like, its final, like, weird heave of energy finishes and i'm like like heart is pounding like i cannot i'm freaking out and then the dog jumps up on her lap and then like starts like licking her face like the her and the dog were having like close close cordial relations like a moment they were having a moment like the dog thank you so much it was like the dog was about to roll over and have a cigarette at this point. They were having a moment.

They were having like, and I was clearly not supposed to be there. It's like, was it good for you? And then she was like saying, I love you afterwards. And the dog was making the weird I love you sound back to her. Oh my God. How'd you even make it that far? I would have been gone before that could happen. Listen, I don't know why I stayed there or even how long it took,

but I felt like a deer in headlights and I couldn't even move. That is such a strange, strange incident. I hate to do this to you because you might feel like a deer in headlights again, but Katie is actually on the other line listening to this conversation and wants to talk to you. I'm sorry, what? Katie, are you there? Have you hung up?

You know, you're overreacting, Dennis. Obviously, you guys aren't dog people. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What kind of dog person are you? I'm one who really loves my dog. I'm sorry. You don't have dogs.

Maybe you just don't get it. I don't know. Wait, wait, wait. I'm sorry. Are you seriously, like, trying to justify what happened and what I had to go through? Look, if I didn't let her finish, she would have been bugging us all night. What are you talking about? So you were doing Dennis a favor, Katie.

No, be a normal dog person. Get a water bottle, squirt it, put it in a back bedroom. Make it stop. Give your dog a stuffed animal. My dog is like my kid, and I take care of my kid. Yeah, you do. That is also weird. You got to make it weird?

I don't think we're the ones making it weird. We're definitely not the ones making it weird. You gotta make it weird? I don't think we're the ones making it weird. We're definitely not the ones making it weird. Have you ever watched, like, the Dog Whisperer or any sort of, like, Animal Planet show? Nowhere will you see it encouraging a dog to hump your leg

and then having... You don't know my dog. Okay? I'm not gonna spray water or yell at my dog or kick her off me because it's inhumane, and I'm not going to be doing that to my baby. You know what? Maybe that's it, Katie. You're a better dog owner than all of us. I don't personally own a dog, but any dog owner listening right now, I think you're

a better dog owner than they are. No. Dennis, I'd like to ask you this question, and I'm hoping you'll say yes. Would you like to go out on a second date with Katie? I will pay for the date. No, no, no. Thank you. I will actually retract everything I said. I do not want to see this guy again. Just because he got weirded out because you let your dog hump your leg. He's not the person I thought he was. Oh, man. Wow. Sorry, Dennis. Maybe you don't know this, but as soon as she was finished, maybe you would have gotten some action, too. Katie, what's your dog's name? Her name is Tuca. Tuca. Dennis,

you could have had Tuca sloppy second. Oh my God. Brooke and Jubal in the morning. Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble.

More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know

you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year

and find them on Bumble. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right.

I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast edition podcast dive into john's unique take on the

biggest topics in politics entertainment sports and more joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors and with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else ready to laugh and stay informed listen on the iheartartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.