Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update PODCAST: Ikea Date Gone Wrong

Episode Date: September 13, 2019

WOAH... This Second Date Update is something else! Everyone in studio is COMPLETELY shocked... they cannot believe this is actually real. Listen to this podcast to hear why one of our listeners made his date SO Creeped out, she couldn't bare a second date with him...See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Moving 92.5. Rook and Jubal's Second Date Update. Nothing says a fun date like a Goofendorfer coffee table. What? Or a Lack shelf. Or a Gorfenduggen couch. What are you talking about? Talking about Ikea. Ugh.

Oh. The best place to have a first date. No way. I've gained anxiety with the word Ikea. Well, if your name is Craig and you emailed us to do a second date update, you love going to Ikea on first dates because apparently that's what he did. No way. What are you doing, dude?

No, no, no. Let me explain. So I met this girl on Tinder. Her name's Tammy. I thought she was really cute, and I kind of wanted to take her on, like, a different date than normal. So I was like, I'm going to be creative. I'm going to take her on an Ikea date.

And Ikea's great. It's fun. Yeah, by yourself. It's not. It's stressful. You can't find your way out of that place. It lasts for hours, and there's no alcohol. Well, I mean, not if you bring your own. So did you bring in some alcohol into the Ikea? Exactly.

Like a nice little flask. No one's going to know. Oh, you did. You may have just turned me. I don't know why, but I feel like that would make it more bearable. Plus, when you don't have to actually buy anything, it's actually a really nice experience because it's like this mansion that you're walking around. It's just a mansion full of particle board. So how did you sell this to a girl you met on Tinder? So we were chatting

and she kind of, you know, raised how it was like she goes on a lot of normal boring dates and how she's kind of over getting coffee, kind of getting getting she was kind of bored with going to a restaurant and i was like all right well i'm gonna take you on like a fun date like on a different date and um i bet you she never saw that coming exactly yeah she just put up the challenge and i tried to meet it as best as i can i actually think it went really really well because we met at ikea and we like started to walk around you know and it's fun we're like taking stupid pictures we're like pretending to watch like the the cardboard tv or we have like a pretend argument in the in the kitchen it was like so much fun it was like performance art at ikea i bet that was fun exactly you know and we go and we have like the

swedish meatballs at the cafeteria or whatever. And like no one was there. And, you know, at the end, I kind of bought her fake flowers because they have like those flowers at the very end that you can get. Cute. Yeah, it was cute. Like, come on, that's a good date, right? Yeah. And it sounds like she was like in it.

Like she was into this. Totally. So to me, you guys are a match made in heaven. I mean, thanks. And you don't have to spend a lot on dinner. I mean, those Swedish meatballs are super cheap. And they are delicious. So how did it end?

Did you guys go anywhere other than Ikea? Or did your romance end right there in the Ikea parking lot? I mean, I just kind of walked her to her car and just said, all right, well, let's get together soon. She was like, yeah, I'd like that. And then I texted her like a few days later, didn't hear hear anything and it's been like a week and a half now i think and still haven't heard anything so and you know when you asked her out again did you ask her to like a normal let's go get drinks at happy hour thing yeah i mean like if you're asking if i want

to bring her to best buy next time no so why do you think she's not calling you back then? I don't know. I mean, maybe she like went to all of her friends and told her that some random guy off of Tinder

took her on an Ikea date and they probably all acted the same way that you did. Yeah, maybe. And we're like, what is that? All right. Well, we'll play a song,

come back, call her and get your second date update, all right? Okay, thank you so much. Okay, hang on. Moving 92.5. Brooke and Jubal in the Morning's Second Date Update. If you're just joining us for today's second date update, let's go over the steps to building the perfect relationship.

Insert person A into person B. That is quick. That's a quick moving relationship. Realize that person A doesn't quite fit into person B. So reevaluate and realize that you're missing a screw. And that's why you can't fit person A into person B. And then completely lose your shit. And just who cares about the relationship anymore.

That's at least how you build a relationship when it started at Ikea. Like Craig, who's on the phone for a second date update today. Craig actually took his date to Ikea. It sounds weird, but he swears they had a great time. And I think it's strange because she was into this Ikea idea, but

maybe she was looking for more than just Ikea on that date. Or, you know, maybe she didn't want to go to Ikea at all and that was a really bad idea. Maybe. That is an honest reflection of what happened. Maybe she just acted like she enjoyed going to Ikea with you. Well, I'm going to dial her phone number right now, see if we can get her on the phone and find out what went wrong, okay? Okay, cool.

Hello? Hi, can I speak to Tammy, please? This is Tammy. Hey, Tammy, how are you? This is Jubal from Brooke and Jubal in the Morning. What is that? It's a radio show called Brooke and Jubal in the Morning. That's what it is.

Okay, why are you calling me? Well, I'm calling you because we do a segment on our radio show called The Second Date Update. Okay. You still sound confused. I don't know what that is.

I don't really listen to the radio that much. Okay, good. I'm glad. Well, thank you. The Second Date Update, what it is is where if you go out on a date

with somebody and then end up not calling them after, they email us to see if we can get you on the phone and find out what went wrong. Oh, my God. Okay. Okay. And so one of our listeners emailed us about you.

Oh, great. Yeah, it just keeps getting better, doesn't it? I'm going to say that you probably remember this date because it happened at Ikea. Yep. All right. So, yeah, Craig is wondering why you're not calling him back. He told us about your Ikea date, and everybody in the room feels like you're probably not calling him back

because he took you on a date to Ikea. Oh, my God. I can't believe he called a radio station about this. Well, he clearly doesn't make good decisions. I mean, he took you on a date to Ikea, and now he does this, so I can fully see how he'd call a radio station. Yeah, I guess I can see that now. I don't know, though.

It sounded like from his description you were into it. Like he said you guys were like pretend watching TV, and you enjoyed the Swedish meatballs. I mean, it was a cool idea. It sounds like he already kind of told you a lot about it. Yeah, he did. I mean, he pretty much broke it down to us, said you guys hung out there, watched the fake TVs, and even had a pretend fight in one of the bedrooms or something like that.

I love it. We did. All that was fun. Okay. Well, if that was fun, then why don't you want to see him again? There was a couple moments there that it went from being kind of fun to kind of weird and uncomfortable. He didn't use one of the display toilets, did he? Oh my gosh, Jewel.

I've always wanted to do that. No, he did not do that. I don't know what could be worse than that. So what did he do? Well, it wasn't as bad as that. I'll give him that. We went to different beds around the store. And the first time we got to one, he jokingly was like, oh, tuck me in.

Tell me a story. That's funny. And the first time, it was cute. And, like, I did it. And he was like, talk to me in a mom voice. And so I did it and he was like, talk to me in a mom voice. And so I did that. And like, sure, it was a little weird, but like I was playing the game, playing along. Plus he could have gone the total other direction and been just a total perv the first time you got in bed.

That's true. That's true. And he did not do that. So I am thankful for that. But it's just that that happened like three or four more times. Like each time we came to a bed, he wanted me to tuck him in and read him a story. And he was he was asking for me to like when I started talking, if I started reading this story in a normal voice, he was like, no, use your mom voice. Oh, my God.

Come on. normal voice he was like no use your mom voice maybe he's just really bad at role-playing and he's not very creative so he saw that you thought it was funny the first time and he just kept the joke going yeah i guess so but then he put his thumb in his mouth and it was it was weird it got to be way too much and And it was creeping me out. Yeah, I can see that creeping you out even after one time, but over and over and over again. Read me a story, mama. Yeah, no. It was weird. Oh, no.

I love how Ikea brought out his mommy issues. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what happened. I just had to get out of there Well, then I probably shouldn't let you know that he's on the phone listening to this conversation wants to talk to you mama God you're joking right? No, I'm not your little boy is listening. Hey Tammy. It's me Craig What's going on? Just listening to the story about your experience of our IKEA date.

I don't know. I felt like the first time I did that, it was really funny and weird. I felt like you laughed really hard. And I do this thing where, like, I beat a joke to death. And I definitely did it this time. And I, man, I guess that is a little weird. Even you admit it's weird. So it was a joke and not some weird sort of fetish fantasy thing that you're trying to live out in Ikea?

No, no, no, no, no. No, not at all. Nothing like that. See? It was me being awkward and thinking that you thought something was funny. And then I realized in retrospect, oh, my God, that was so creepy. Are you sure? But, like, you wanted me to call you Craigie Poo. Oh, Craigie Poo.

Yeah. Again, funny at the time. Now that I hear it again, totally creepy. See, at least you can admit that it was really creepy, Tammy. Yeah, retrospect, right? I mean, I was on his admit that it was really creepy, Tammy. Yeah, retrospective, right? I mean, I was on his side until the thumb-sucking thing, and then I felt like that pushed it over the edge for me. But maybe you're more forgiving.

Craig, I had a really good time, but it went from, like, 0 to 60 in, like, 2 seconds. And it just got real creepy. Can I be, like, super honest with you? Is that when I like someone and I think that something's going really well, I just get kind of nervous. And I think about two thirds of the way through the date, I felt like we were really grooving. And when I get nervous, my jokes just go down the toilet. When I get really nervous, I become a two year old and suck my thumb. Yeah,

no, I just thought it was really funny at first, and then I got really super awkward by the end. And you could probably tell because by the third time, I let out that weird giggle that was supposed to be a joke. Oh, yep. I remember that. Craigie Poo, I want to hear the giggle. Yeah, Craigie Poo.

I don't think I can do it again. You want me to read you a story? I can't go down this road because I might try to be funny, and it's not going to work. All right, well, I'll save you then. Tammy, would you like to go out on a second date with Craigie Poo? Now that you know it wasn't a weird thing and it was just a joke, we will pay for it. I don't know. My friends gave me a lot of crap when I told them about the IKEA ordeal.

Oh, come on. He's the most self- of crap when I told them about the IKEA ordeal. Oh, come on. He's the most self-aware weirdo that we've had. That's true. Come on, Mama Tammy. Come tuck me into bed again. Whoa, what? Is that Tammy talking? Who's talking? No, that was Craig.

Oh, my God, that is Craig. I'm so sorry. It's so weird. It is so weird. Don't do it if you know it's so weird. And it's so believable. Dude, it sounded like a girl. No, it sounded like a horror movie is what it sounds like. That was the voice he was using that night. Oh, my gosh.

I'm just trying to be funny. Please go out with me again. I promise I won't make any more jokes. If you can come back from that, Craig, it's going to be amazing. I promise. If you go on one more day with me, I promise. No more Mama Tammy jokes. Tammy! Oh, my gosh!

The hair on my neck is standing up. Craig, I want to hang out with you because I want to hear that voice more. Oh, my gosh. Tammy, what do you think? Would you go out with No? Oh, come on. No, I'm not going out on another day with you. I have nightmares just hearing that weird voice that you're doing.

I do, too. I don't blame you. Craig, I'm sorry. No second date for you. That's okay. Stop it. Make it stop. Broken Jubal in the morning.

Very appropriate text message in at 78592. All it says is WTF about today's second date update. Yeah. If you didn't hear it, that was taped while Brooke was still here. She's out on maternity leave. And, of course, Jackie is filling in. And Jackie's jaw dropped when she heard this dude's voice. Well, it's like a helium balloon voice. Yeah.

This dude Craig wanted to call Tammy. They went on an Ikea date. He thought it would be fun to go to Ikea and walk around. I think that's weird, too. Yeah. This dude, Craig wanted to call Tammy. They, they went on an Ikea date. He thought it'd be fun to go to Ikea and walk around. Weird too. Yeah. It was pretty weird. Yeah. But the reason she wasn't calling back was because he kept getting into bed.

I mean, like read me a story in this weird voice. And he said he was doing it as a joke. And then he actually did the voice that he was doing. And I understand why she wasn't calling back. Here's his normal voice. I actually think it went really, really well. Okay. And here's the voice that he was doing and I understand why she wasn't calling back here's his normal voice I actually think it went really really well okay and here's the voice that he was doing come on mama Tammy come tuck me into bed again I'm gonna hear this in my nightmares now. Come on, Mama Tammy, come tuck me into bed again.

That is so creepy. It's creepy, but all kidding aside, he was just trying to be funny. Come on. Come on, Mama Tammy, come tuck me into bed again. There's nothing funny about that. I just think as a female, I would, it would get old, first of all, maybe the first time I died laughing about it, but then if he kept doing it, I'd be like, you're a freak. This guy has a weird fetish or something. He wants his diaper changed and

mama's not doing it. Remember, if you want to do a second date update, all you have to do is email the show and we will call the person who didn't call you back. Come on, mama Tammy, come tuck me into bed again. Also, just out of nowhere, I felt like talking about it. Oh, cool.

If you've been in a car accident, like you're driving along right now and you heard this. Come on, Mama Tammy, come tuck me into bed again. And you just hit somebody. Well, don't worry about it. We got your back because you can get a hold of my friends at advocateslaw.com. It's 206-512-3555. The insurance companies are bullies and they don't want to just give you the money. They want to just talk to you on the phone. Come on, mama. Come tuck me into bed again. Say creepy things like that, but they don't want to give

you the money. And that's where the advocates come in because they will help you and you won't be bullied by the insurance companies anymore. It's 206-512-3555. Just get in there and ask them a question because it costs nothing for a consultation and you don't pay anything unless you win your case. It's advocateslaw.com, 206-512-3555. They're available 24 hours a day, seven days a week, and they've gotten over $100 million for their clients. Come on, Mama Tammy, come tuck me into bed again. And they'll tell you things like that john stewart is back at the daily show and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight

to your ears with the daily show ears edition podcast dive into john's unique take on the biggest topics in politics entertainment sports and more joined by the sharp voices of the show's The forces shaping markets and the economy wherever you get your podcasts. The forces shaping markets and the economy are often hiding behind a blur of numbers. So that's why we created The Big Take from Bloomberg Podcasts, to give you the context you need to make sense of it all. Every day in just 15 minutes, we dive into one global business story that matters. You'll hear from Bloomberg journalists like Matt Levine.

A lot of this meme stock stuff is, I think, embarrassing to the SEC. Follow the Big Take podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. People, my people, what's up? This is Quartz Love. Man, I cannot believe we're already wrapping up another season of Quartz Love Supreme. Man, we've got we're already wrapping up another season of Questlove Supreme. Man, we've got some amazing guests lined up to close out the season.

But, you know, I don't want any of you guys to miss all the incredible conversations we've had so far. I mean, we talked to A. Marie, Johnny Marr, E., Jonathan Schechter, Billy Porter, and so many more. Look, if you haven't heard these episodes yet, hey, now's your chance. You gotta check them out. Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.