Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update PODCAST: It Puts the Lotion On

Episode Date: January 26, 2015

After hearing today's Second Date Update, I think we can all can come away with the same important message... No matter what... NEVER, EVER EVER, NEVER, EVER EVER NEVER.... leave your date alone while you go to the bathroom. Find out WHY in the Second Date Update!(Image Courtesy: Spicy Beautiful. Creative Commons)See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

John Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I'm Emi Olea, host of the podcast Crumbs. For years, I had to rely on other people to tell me my story. And what I heard wasn't good. You really f***ed last night. It felt like I lived most of my life in a blackout. I was trapped in addiction. You had to grab the lamp and smash it against the walls. And then I decided I wanted to tell my own story. Listen to Crumbs on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Snakes, zombies, public speaking. The list of fears is endless. But the real danger is in your hand when you're behind the wheel. Distracted driving is what's really scary

and even deadly. Eyes forward. Don't drive distracted. Brought to you by NHTSA and the Ad Council. Moving 92.5. Today's second date update. Powered by In The Loop Singles.

Moving 92.5. Rook and Jubels. Second date update. The guy that's on the phone to do a second date update today experienced something that I get all the time. He was hit on at the mall. You get hit on at the mall? Non-stop. You're walking through there

and there's nothing but girls like, hey, you want to try some lotion on? I'm like, get off it. You know, or like, last time I was there, this guy comes up and he's like, dude, can I shine your shoes? I'm like, bro, I have a girlfriend.

I'm not even gay. They're just like, non-stop when you walk down there, people are hitting on you left and right. You know? No, they're hitting on you. And that's exactly what happened to Ken, I guess. That's how he met the girl that he wants us to call today.

Apparently, she was one of those lotion girls at the mall. For real? What's up, Ken? How are you? I'm good. How are you doing? Good. So you actually asked out one of the kiosk people at the mall?

I like lotion girl. Yeah, lotion girl. You actually asked out Lotion Girl? Yeah. Normally, I avoid the mall in general, and then I just happen to be in there, and those girls are very... I feel like a lot of them are sort of fake and plasticky,

but something about... Her name's Rose. Something about Rose caught my eye, and I got distracted enough to listen to her spiel on this lotion. We're talking about lotion. They're persistent. I tried to pass one up a while ago, and she practically jumped on my back to give me a sample of her lotion. So you got wrapped up in her little web of promotion for whatever she was selling. Yeah.

Did she ask you out, or did you ask her out? I asked her out i i sat there i talked to her for about 20 minutes i ended up buying 90 worth of lotion i bet you smell delicious i can smell you through the phone right now i do i do smell very good thank you but uh yeah something about her she's like very like the girl next door type of girl. How did you ask her out? I mean, was it before or after you purchased $90 worth of her products? Well, I figured that I might have a better chance if I actually bought the product. So I bought it, and then I actually walked away and then came back.

Oh, that's a nice move. How many passes did you make? Because you know how you do that? You think they're cute, and you a nice move. How many passes did you make? Because you know how you do that. You think they're cute and you keep passing by. I think once you go by three times, it's officially creepy after that. I went by two. Okay. Was she shocked when you asked her out?

I think she was slightly embarrassed, but knew that I was sort of stumbling over my words, and I think she took pity on me. If you're a guy buying $90 worth of lotion from me, I would think you probably were interested. I don't know many men who just out of the blue do that. I don't even own a bottle of lotion.

So what'd you guys end up doing? I got her phone number, we talked over the phone and we agreed to meet for a couple of drinks a couple days later. So how was it when you guys went out for drinks? Did she seem to enjoy the date? Yeah, yeah, she did. I felt like there are things that, you know, we had in common that I didn't think that we would have in common. For example, I really like longboarding. And amazingly enough, she actually owns a longboard. I thought that was great.

I've known a couple of girls that longboard, very rare. So did everything seem to go well? Are there any awkward moments that happened on your date? No, everything seemed to go really well. In fact, she agreed to come over and watch a movie at my house later. So we did that. Oh. That's awesome. So things progressed quickly.

Yeah, I thought things were really great. We came back to my house. I threw in Step Brothers. Good choice. Excellent choice. Halfway through the movie, I got up, asked her if she needed anything, and I went to use the restroom. I came back

and she was standing in my living room with her coat on, and she said she was ready to leave. And I was kind of perplexed. I didn't understand. Did she give you an excuse or a reason why she was leaving? She just said that she really had to go and she was sorry and

I didn't really feel like I wanted to press her. It seemed pretty important, so I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable, but I did think it was a little awkward. Do you think that maybe she was expecting a little bit more action? Because you usually come to my place and watch

a movie as code for not actually watching half of Step Brothers. You know, I was wondering about that, but we were having such a great time laughing throughout the movie that I thought that was only going to lead to that after the movie. She wasn't giving me the vibes that she wasn't into me or anything like that, so it just made it even more confusing. All right, so since she ditched you and left your place halfway through the movie, have you heard anything back from her?

No. And, and here's the thing, Jubal, is that I've, I've texted her. I've even left her a voicemail and, and she's never gotten back to me.

It's just, um, it's just really weird, you know? Yeah. It sounds like you guys had a good time. Um, okay,

we'll play a song, come back, call her and get your second date update. Okay. All right.'ll play a song. Come back, call her, and get your second date update, okay? All right. Awesome, guys. Thanks. All right, man. Hang on.

You and me, we made a... I figured it out. I figured out why Ken, who is on the line with us and about to do a second date update, is not getting a call back. Okay. Okay? You met this girl at the mall. She was selling lotion.

You asked her out. Ended up back at your place to watch a movie. And halfway through the movie, she got up and left. Mm-hmm. You went on a date with a master salesman. Oh, yeah. It was all a bait-and-switch act to get you to go back to that mall and buy some more lotion from her. Oh, ABC's a sales.

Yeah. Do you think that's it? Do you think the whole date was just a scam to sell you more lotion, and that's why she took off on you? No, I don't think so. I don't think she would have come home to my house if that were the case. And you clearly don't have the mind of a salesperson. Yeah, right? She's going to get lotion saleswoman of the year.

All right, man. I'm going to dial the phone right now. See if we can get her on the phone and then find out if there is a specific reason why she's not calling you back. Okay. Okay. Hello. Hi, can I speak to Rose, please? Yeah, who is this? Hi, Rose. Is this the Rose that works in the mall selling lotion? Yes. Sold. Sold. I'll take all you got.

What is going on? Hi, Rose. This is actually Jubal from Brook and Jubal in the Morning. And one of our listeners recently went on a date with you and asked us to give you a call. A guy named Ken. Oh, my God. You remember Ken? Uh-oh. You remember Ken.

Well, Ken listens to our show. Oh, no. And he sent us an email because he's very curious about the way that you left your date. And he wanted to see if we could get you on the phone since you won't answer any of his phone calls. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm so uncomfortable with this. What happened with Ken? Because we've talked to Ken a little bit and asked him about your date. To us, it sounded like everything went cool. And then in the middle of it, you just kind of bolted. Yeah.

I mean, I don't know if I'm comfortable talking about this to you guys. I mean, I just, we got along fine. We did. You sound really nervous, Rose. It's really embarrassing for him, and I don't want to bash him. It's embarrassing for him. Oh, no. I mean, I would assume this would be embarrassing for him.

Well, the thing about this, Rose, he's the one that wanted us to call you. Yeah. And he wanted to hear whatever reason it was because he really liked you. I mean, the date was fine. It wasn't like, it was nothing on the date. I just, okay, so we're watching a movie at his place. And I got really thirsty and he went to the bathroom, so I figured I would go to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

But to get to the kitchen, I had to pass by the bathroom, and... Whoa. What was happening in the bathroom? In the bathroom, yeah. I got really creeped out. I heard some noises in there. Was he like grunting? Was that the issue?

I would say they were not normal going to the bathroom noises. They were not normal? What do you mean by that? I heard some moaning and I it seemed like he was having a very private party in there. And I heard more breathing and more moaning, and then I thought I heard my name, and when I heard my name, that's when I thought I heard my name.

No wonder you bolted. Oh my gosh. Are you saying that you think he was in the bathroom accosting himself? I think he was accosting something and I now know why he needs $90 worth of lotion. Are you... Are you sure that's what you heard, Rose? Because that seems crazy to me.

I mean, maybe he got excited in the middle of your date. I don't know. I mean, I don't... Unless he really likes taking a piss, I don't know what else... I mean, I don't, unless he really likes taking a piss, I don't know what else. I mean, guys, is there any reason why you would do that in the date that maybe women don't understand? Before a date.

You do it before the date so you get all the nerves out there and you don't have that whole energy taking over your body. But you guys were never, you weren't kissing or anything. You weren't making out. No, and it wasn't even like an erotic movie. That's what was so weird. Yeah. I can't believe what I'm hearing right now. Rose, the voice that you just heard is Ken.

He's actually been listening on the other line and heard everything you said. Are you kidding me? Rose, I can't believe you would say that. Ken, I didn't want to say anything. That's why I left. But you had people call me to ask me. I didn't.

I can't believe this. I've been to the bathroom. What, you were eavesdropping through my door? Look, Ken, I understand you're embarrassed, but you put me in a very... I'm embarrassed. I invited you into my house, and you snuck up and listened to me in the bathroom. What kind of person are you? You were moaning loudly when I walked past your bathroom.

How am I supposed to ignore that? What? Well, I can't... That's crazy. This is crazy. This is absolutely insane. Ken, be honest. Did you get a little excited in the middle of your date

and take an intermission to go hang out with yourself in the bathroom for a minute? I'm listening to you guys on the radio. Why is the computer pointing at me? Ken, you're not answering the question. And we're not judging you. We just want you to be open and honest about it. Yeah, if you did it, Ken, just admit it. Just admit it. I mean, that's the issue, if you did it, Ken, just admit it. Just admit it.

I mean, that's the issue. If everyone does it, it was like, it was just the timing was weird and then the hiding it is weird and I... Oh, oh, please. This is preposterous, okay? What a man does in the bathroom is completely personal to that man, okay? Oh my gosh.

Ken, okay, what else could it be? Really? I have no idea what you were thinking was going on in your mind when you were tiptoeing next to my bathroom door and listening in on someone in the bathroom. You are, you, I, okay. You know what? I have no idea what you're doing.

If you weren't doing that, what were you doing? I was using the bathroom. I don't understand why that's not enough for you. I went to the bathroom. Okay, Ken, I don't know what I'm supposed to think when I hear a... What is that? It was a sensual bathroom break, Rose.

I don't question why people go to the bathroom and then go sneak up and listen to what they're going to the bathroom for. I don't get why you have people call to find out what's going on. Why can't you just say it? I going to the bathroom or not. I don't get why you have people call to find out what's going on. Why can't you just say it? I went to the bathroom to ****. Oh, ****.

You know what, Rose? I don't even think that I would go out with you again because you are a bad person. Well, I guess that answers that. Oh, poor Ken, you guys. Well, I guess that answers my question then. Rose, would you like to go out with Ken on a second date? I will pay for it. Oh, no.

You can pay for my therapy. And Ken, you still don't want to go out with Rose again? No. Why not? You already sound like you got what you needed out of all of me. You know, that's really inappropriate. I just, I'm not even going to go there. Okay.

Yeah. All right, Ken. Next time you go out on a date, just try to be a little more quiet on your bathroom breaks. Whatever you were doing in there. Turn the water on. Let it run. I wasn were doing in there. Turn the water on. Let it run. I wasn't doing anything! Yeah, right.

Broken Jubal in the morning. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors.

And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Emi Olea, host of the podcast Crumbs. For years, I had to rely on other people to tell me my story. And what I heard wasn't good. You really f***ed last night. It felt like I lived most of my life in a blackout. I was trapped in addiction.

You had to grab the lamp and smash it against the walls. And then I decided I wanted to tell my own story. Listen to Crumbs on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Snakes, zombies, public speaking. The list of fears is endless. But the real danger is in your hand when you're behind the wheel. Distracted driving is what's really scary and even deadly. Eyes forward. Don't drive distracted.

Brought to you by NHTSA and the Ad Council.