Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update PODCAST: Kip Kip Hooray

Episode Date: February 16, 2017

In today's second date update, it's the EPIC underdog story, about one man's quest to find True Love. He's known as Kipling and it turns out, his worst enemy...is himself. Do you think we can help him cross the finish line and help him get that second date? Find out by tuning into the podcast.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hi, I'm Ed Zitron, host of the Better Offline podcast. And this January, we're going to go on the road to beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada, to cover the Consumer Electronics Show, tech's biggest conference. Better Offline CES coverage won't be the usual rundown of the hottest gadgets or biggest trends, but an unvarnished look at what the tech industry plans to sell or do to you by the IHOP Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts from.

Are you looking for the thrill of your life? With ZodArt, Seattle's only exotic car rental company, you can book a Lamborghini, Ferrari, and more. Visit ZodArt.com, Z-A-D-A-R-T.com, to book your exotic car ride. Moving 92.5. Rook and Jubal's Second Date Update. A guy named Kipling is on the phone today for a second date update. He sounds very high class. Yes, he does.

Kipling. Apparently, he's not very good at dating, doesn't date a whole lot, and he's afraid that his nerves might have got the best of him on his first date.ip how you doing i'm good good can i call you kip yes actually uh kip is most people call me kip okay i don't know why i just don't want to call you kipling the whole time i don't know why but it sounds weird the tongue weird yeah it's kind of yeah it's a weird name. Okay. So, Kip, now I want to call you Kipling every time. I mean, you can if you want to. All right. And Kip, remember, you're getting made fun of by a guy named Jubal.

So, you're fine, dude. Oh, okay. All right. Well, Kip, Kipling, whatever. Just tell us about your first date a little bit. What's the problem? Okay. Yeah, well, so I don't generally date a lot, like for the most part.

Okay. I just don't go on a lot of dates. I don't do the whole online dating thing just because it's weird and hard. But anyways, this friend of mine at work, she sort of showed me this, her friend, Mona, she was showing me pictures of her. It sounds to me like you're trying to say your friend from work hooked you up with a date. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Am I not explaining that right?

Well, I mean, you did. It just sounds like you're a little nervous maybe and kind of all over the place. Okay. Sorry. Okay. Yeah, you're fine, man. You're doing a really good job. You're here with friends.

Kip will help you out. So your friends set you up with a lady. Right. My friend set me up with this girl, and we talked on the phone, and we decided to go to a restaurant. And, you know, I picked a really nice restaurant because I wanted to impress her. I mean, she looked really cute. I hadn't been on a date in a while, and, you know, I wanted to impress her. I mean, she looked really cute. I hadn't been

on a date in a while, and I wanted to impress her. Take her somewhere where they have silverware. Yeah. Yeah. Nice. I think that's a good move. Classy. A woman will always love you if you feed her well.

Well, I guess, right? But I got there late. I misjudged the traffic, and I got there like 15, maybe 20 minutes late. Oh, wow. That is a lot late. Like five minutes is okay, but if you're 15 minutes late. Yeah, that's a long time to wait. Did you text her and say, hey, run in a little bit behind? No, I didn't want to text while I was driving. No one should do that.

That's a good point. Back to your date, Kip. How did she react when you were that late? Did she seem upset by that? She seemed fine with it. She was really nice about it, but I was already so nervous because I was late, and then

this thing happened. I guess I was surprised by the size of her. She had a really big chest area. Oh, okay. Okay. Wait.

That'll happen. That'll happen sometimes. She had boobs is what you're saying, big ones. Brooke! Yeah, and I wasn't bothered by it, obviously, but sometimes I would catch myself not talking or looking at her face. And I was just really nervous. And so at one point I feel like I overcompensated and then I just stared too much at her face.

It's kind of like when somebody has a weird growth on their face or something and you're like, I can't look at it. And then you keep catching yourself looking at it. Yeah, but if that was on her chest. She had two, I guess, apparently. She's a giant gross. Did you actually address the problem, or did you guys not talk about it? I'm serious.

No, no, no. That she had big boobs? No. Well, I mean, I have not a huge chest, but I have a larger top half. And, you know, when somebody's staring, sometimes I'll just ask, you know, hey, up here. Well, if you're asking me if I went online and looked at pictures of you, I haven't. What? No, I don't think she's saying that at all.

I think she's saying, did it ever get brought up that you were having trouble paying attention to the conversation because of your date's boobs? No, I thought that Brooke was asking me if I'd ever seen her chest because it's larger. No. No, she wasn't. But, hey, you can always go to the website after the second date update is done and look if you want. No. Okay. Okay.

Oh, my gosh, Kev. All right. So did she make any reference to you staring at her chest or not staring at her chest? No. No, not that I remember. I didn't. I mean, no. So it was just something that you were self-conscious about on the date?

Yeah, and then I was self-conscious that I was self-conscious about it. Yeah. So the whole time, that's all you were thinking about is don't look too long at her boobs. Oh, crap. I looked at her boobs. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. And then I was thinking about looking at her boobs, and it was just...

It was just downhill for you. Did you hear a word that she said on the date? I mean, I know at one point she was talking about swimming, but I have no idea what that was about. Kim, how long did you spend at dinner staring at her breasts? Well, so that was the thing. I thought that I don't know, in my mind, I thought dinner and drinks would last like three hours and then we were done by

like 45 minutes. So I started to panic and I was, you know, suggesting a bunch of activities like, do you want to go bowling? I don't know, I was just suggesting these activities and she kind of wasn't really into it. She said she had to go and meet a friend. And so I walked her to her car, and I didn't get a chance to try to kiss her or anything.

She was getting in her car. And then I asked her if I could call her, but she was closing the door. I don't know if she heard me or not. So you walked her to her car, and she didn't really say much to you and closed the door. I don't know if she heard me or not. Oh, no. Can I call you? So you walk her to her car and she didn't really say much to you and close the door in your face because that's what it sounds like.

Well, it wasn't that bad. I was just a little nervous and so by the time I, you know, worked up the courage to just ask if I could call her, she was closing the door. I picture her driving out of the parking lot like, can I call you? No? Okay.

And then she squealed off. Kind of. Kip, you sound like a really nice guy talking to you, but your description of the date sounds like you acted like an awkward perv. Yes. No, I wasn't being pervious. I was just, that was what was on my mind about her. And I don't date a lot.

And I thought that this girl was really nice, and we kind of had a nice time. I just was hoping you guys could help me figure out what went wrong. Okay, we can definitely do that. What we'll do is we'll play a song, come back, call her, and get your second date update, okay?

Okay, thanks, guys. Okay. Hang on. Moving 92.5. Brooke and Jubal in the morning. Second date update. I can honestly say out of all the second date updates we've ever done, the hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of second date updates,

I've never wanted anybody to get a second date more than my man Kipling. Who's on the phone right now to do a second date update. It's the story of an underdog. You might know him as the Kipmeister, the Kipinator, Mr. Kipplesworth. Kipling is on the phone right now. He's a great dude, but he got a little nervous on his first date because he was ambushed by a woman with big bazooms. How dare she?

And that will happen from time to time. Kip was not ready for it. If you were listening to the first part of the Second Date Update, Kip explained that he has not dated very much. He went out with a girl that he met through a co-worker. And when he met her at the restaurant,

which he was 15 minutes late to, by the way, she actually had a very large chest and Kip was nervous the whole time and couldn't pay attention. He barely heard a word she said. She ended the date by just hopping in the car and leaving and he hasn't spoken to her since. Kipling, are you ready?

Yeah, I hope you can work your magic or do your thing, you know? Well, we'll see if we can do our thing here. I'm going to dial the phone right now, okay? Okay. Okay. Hello? I was looking for Mona. Yeah, this is her.

Hello, Mona. My name is Jubal, and I host a radio show called Brook and Jubal in the Morning. Okay. Cool. Have you ever heard the show before at all? Yeah, no, I mean, I've heard of you.

I just don't listen that often. Okay, cool. Well, you may have never listened really before, but you're actually on the show right now. What do you mean? I mean that one of our listeners actually sent us an email about you. About me?

Yep. Really? me? Yep. Really? Yep, and they said all nice things, too. That's great. What's it about? It's about a date that you went on recently. Really? Yeah.

You went on a date with a guy named Kipling. Oh, wow. Yeah, you mean Kip? I do. Yes, I do Yes I do And he actually emailed us Because he wanted us to get a hold of you I guess you're not calling him back since your date And he's confused

Yeah Is there a reason why you don't want to go out with him again I mean he seemed like a really sweet guy But I could just tell he was really, really nervous. Like, anxiously nervous. Like, kind of extremely awkward. On a scale of 1 to 10 of the most awkward dates you've ever been on, how was this date? A 15.

I'll tell you why I ask it like that, because we actually talked to Kipling. Sounds like a nice guy, but he was also very nervous talking to us, so I can't imagine how he would be on a date. Yeah, like, yeah. Like, everything you can imagine, like, times a thousand. Did it get better as you guys hung out longer? No, it only got worse.

How did it get worse? Like, he showed up almost 20 minutes late right without letting me know when he walked in though despite being 20 minutes late were you kind of excited like oh he's cute i mean he was like nerdy awkward cute and maybe this could end well but i've been waiting for him to order and the waitress came and he gave her our menus and said we wouldn't be ordering food we were just gonna get drinks but I'd waited all day to eat what it was already like after seven and I hadn't eaten and all we were getting was drinks like we went to this nice restaurant and we weren't even gonna get food like why didn't you go to the bar

oh I would have been like hell no I'm getting food You don't even want to see me when I'm hungry right now. We were like a few drinks in and I started getting a little tipsy. And I finally was like, hey, man, I'm really hungry. Like, is it okay if we order something? And he was like, yeah, sure. I'll get an appetizer for us to split. Oh, wow. So then he decides to get calamari, which is fine.

It was great. And I was eating and he could tell that I was uncomfortable. So then he says, can I ask you a question? And, of course, I said, sure. And he asked me if I'm having a good time because my face doesn't look like I'm having a good time. Oh. Your face doesn't look like you're having fun. What'd you say to that?

I just smiled and put more calamari in my mouth. You were though probably showing some pain on your face at this point. I think at that point, a few drinks in, no food in my stomach, I couldn't hide a thing.

So it was just a very awkward time for you. It was extremely awkward. All right. You know what else is going to be awkward? What? He's actually on the other line listening and wants to talk to you right now. Wait, what? Yep.

Kip, where you at? Hi, Mona. Oh, no. Hi, Kip. Hi. Hi, Kip. Hi. No, Kip. Kip, why are you doing this? I'm confused.

Well, you weren't answering my messages. I wanted to talk to you and see if you wanted to go on another date. Oh, Kip. I wanted to talk to you and see if you wanted to go on another date. Did you hear what I said about our first date? Yeah. And, uh, but listen, the thing is, okay. So I don't date a lot and I really liked you and you made me nervous. And I was already really nervous because I was late. And the thing is, I just showed up and I just wasn't expecting a woman of your nature to be

there. What does that even mean? What did that mean, Kip? No, I just mean you're very, you're very beautiful. You know,

you're very captivating. You have captivating features. Skip, that's really sweet. Yeah, it is. Yeah, and I just got nervous, and that's why maybe I wasn't the best dater. I was nervous, and I could tell you weren't having a good time. And the reason I didn't order a bunch of food is because, I don't know, maybe we were going to, you know, something was going to happen. What?

Wait, what are you talking about, Kip? What was going to happen if you ordered food? I don't know. Maybe you just, you know, you don't know what happens if the date goes well. Oh, gosh. I just didn't want to have, you know, anyone to feel awkward about having bad breath or have stuff in their teeth or anything. You mean like if you guys are going to kiss or something at the end there? Yeah, yeah.

Okay. Oh, I thought he was planning a lot more than that. Yeah. Sorry. Me too, but I'm not really giving Kip that much credit. I was like, damn, son, slow down. No, no, no. I just meant kissing.

Like, we might kiss if it went well. It's a date. How would, you know? Kip, you know, like, I get being nervous, like, going on dates and stuff, but you probably don't want to ask if they're having a good time because their face doesn't look happy. Kind of a turnoff. I didn't mean like that. I mean, your face is beautiful.

I mean, your whole is beautiful. You're beautiful, you know? I didn't mean it like that. I just meant like I could tell like you weren't having a good time and I wanted you to have a good time, you know? Yeah, but like maybe you could have phrased it a little differently. Yeah. Yeah. Look, I was nervous, and I don't date a lot, okay?

But, like, listen, I'm a really nice guy, and, you know, I just feel like I could do it right, you know? We could go somewhere and get food and, I don't know. Mona, think about it. Like, he's laying it all out there.

Maybe next time, because it's all out in the open, he won't have those same type of nerves. I mean, he's really sweet and everything he does seems pretty genuine. Well, how about this, Mona? Would you go out with Kip on a second date? I will pay for it. Free second date. What's that? Said we would get food this time.

You can get food. I promise. Yes, we could do whatever. We could go bowling or get food or whatever. He's the same way. Kip, you really like bowling, don't you? I just don't date a lot. And that's just the last date I went on.

We went bowling, and we had a great time. You guys don't have to go bowling if you don't want to, Mona. You can do anything. We will pay for it, though. Will you go out with Kipling again? You know what? I guess he does deserve a second chance. That almost sounded not painful. What does that mean?

You're saying yes? Yes, I'll go out with Kip again. Yay! Really? You won't regret it, I promise. Congratulations, Kipling. You got a second date, man. I can't believe you guys did this.

This is amazing. Kip, I can't believe we did it either, honestly. Broken Jubal in the morning. Got a text in at 78592 that says, I can't believe Jubal didn't advise her to wear a turtleneck on their next date. Talking about today's second date update, if you missed it, this guy named Kipling, or Kip as we call him, wanted to call this girl named Mona.

He had a very awkward first date with her. I think he's just kind of awkward at everything. He hasn't dated in a while. And apparently he was so nervous on his first date, he couldn't stop staring at her chest. He was shocked that she had boobs when he showed up. Because apparently he hasn't seen a woman in the last, I don't know, lifetime. She showed up and had a large chest and he was like, I couldn't even listen to what she was saying at all.

And it was very awkward. He's like, don't look. Okay, now you're looking too much. Yeah. Another text in at 78592 that says, Kip needs to wear blinders on a date so he doesn't get distracted. He does. Except for instead of blinding the sides, it's just blinding anything below eye level.

Yeah. And somehow we were actually able to get the girl to go out with him again. I don't know how, but I'm very happy. I was pulling for him the whole time. He sounds like a great dude, just not good at dating at all. Do you really think the second date is going to go that much better? I don't. I don't at all, but I'm glad that he was able to get a second date.

Another text in at 78592 that says, Mona sounds super hot. Kip is not even close to being in her league. Whoa. Wow. You don't even know. Does Kip have competition out there? There's some other nerd trying to win over Mona's love on a text form? I would just stare straight at her chest and let her know I was doing it.

I can handle it. I'll take that woman from Kip. They got a second date. People are asking at 78592 to get an update on their second date. We'll see if we can do that for you. If she actually does go out with him again. I don't know that there's going to be a lot of updates. Remember, if you want to do a second date update, all you have to do is email the show

and we will call the person who didn't call you back. We're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention

because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. And find them on Bumble. more from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How To Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hi, I'm Ed Zetron, host of the Better Offline podcast. And this January, we're going to go on the road to beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada, to cover the Consumer Electronics Show, tech's biggest conference. Better Offline CES coverage won't be the usual rundown of the hottest gadgets or biggest trends, but an unvarnished look at what the tech industry plans to sell or do to you in 2025. I'll be joined by David Roth at Defector and the writer Edward Ongueso Jr. With guest appearances from Behind the Bastards Robert Evans, It Could Happen Here's Gare Davis, and a few surprise guests throughout the show.

Listen to Better Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts from.