Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update PODCAST: Laundromat Love

Episode Date: June 23, 2021

No matter how hard Jeffrey tried during today’s Second Date, he just couldn’t keep it together and his utter frustration seeped through into the call. Find out what happened!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

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Second date update. All right, we've got an email from a woman michelle who wants to do a second date update today and michelle must be calling us from the 1990s why because she met a cute guy at a laundromat oh my god did she also send you an email from her aol account probably let me guess michelle you both listened to your walkman together and then you bought matching track suits, took the subway home, and watched Fresh Prince of Bel-Air on TiVo. Oh, you were spying on us. Okay, great. Okay.

I knew it. I don't know. That sounds like a cute story. So what's the name of this guy that you met? His name is Ryder. Oh, man. Already Ryder. Well, he's not from the 90s, that's for sure. a writer too i get it you don't even have to know about him so tell us about how

you met writer yeah i mean we met at a laundry mat it was it was very much like a mute cute because like i needed quarters and the change machine wasn't working always yeah and i got frustrated and this cute guy noticed and asked if he could help and he was like well i have quarters if you have cash so like i really only brought a dollar but i needed six quarters oh man so now you're a poor laundromat girl yeah yep and i I was like, I have this dollar. And he smiled at me. And he gave me six quarters. And then he pointed at me and he was like, you owe me.

You know what I mean? Oh, that's nice. Oh, my gosh. I hope you were like, do you have a roll of quarters in your pocket? I don't know about this. That is actually adorable. Is it? It is.

Is it really? I like it. I don't know. I feel like. He had the perfect amount of quarters and he was there at the right time. It's too perfect is what it is, Brooke. What are you saying? Who cares?

Just let us enjoy life, Jeffrey. I don't know if it's from doing this show too much, but we've heard so many of these dating stories. I immediately have PTSD about this. I feel like there must be ulterior motives with this. I don't. I don't. I feel like I'm going to screw this up, Michelle.

Honestly, I feel like I'm going to screw this up, Michelle. Honestly, I feel like I'm going to screw this up for you. If I talk with you, then he must have some weird motive. He wanted to meet you and wash your panties for you in there or something like that. Whatever he's up to. Michelle, you know what I'm saying? You deserve better, Michelle. He just gave her

two extra quarters, Jeffrey. I'm saying you deserve to have a host who's not jaded like me who's actually open to real love and a real love story so you know what i'm reclusing myself from this second date update i'm gonna leave the room brooke you know what brooke you take over no he's so dumb why is this okay and he left the room but that's fine that's fine i am so into your story right now wow how did you guys go out on a date i don't care about jeffrey's issues well yeah i mean like i did my laundry and then he comes over to me and he gives me his card and he's like you know when you're ready to repay me you can buy me a beer okay now i'm leaving this

guy's setting you up no No, I'm kidding. No, no. That's cute, actually. So you, I mean, like, you actually called him. Because that's always the nervous point. Like, you know, do I actually do it? Did you text him? You called him?

Well, look who's walked back in the door. Okay, listen. You guys keep interrupting her story. I know Jeffrey is back, okay? They're going for a beer now. That's where we're at, Jeffrey. Jeffrey's going for a beer. Oh, really? Yeah. It's just a beer, dude. It going for a beer now. That's where we're at, Jeffrey. Jeffrey's going for a beer. Oh, really? Yeah.

It's just a beer, dude. It's just a beer. He's mad. Oh, man. You must have been traumatized, because this is, like, I feel like a very normal story. It really is, Jeff. Let her win. Okay.

No, go ahead. I'm sure it was very romantic. We're at the bar now. Okay, so we're at the bar, and we have a really good time. It turns out that we both Really love movies And so we talked a lot About Parasite

Cause that was like Both of our favorite movies I still haven't seen that Oh it's so good You have to see it It's so good So we talked a lot About that

And then I mean He ends up Spending the night At my place Oh okay So we went from Parasite Right back to your place

Like oh you like movies I like movies Let we went from Parasite right back to your place. Like, oh, you like movies, I like movies, let's sleep together. Parasite got you going. Isn't that like a horror movie where people are so together? I wouldn't call it a horror movie, but it's very good. Okay, you have to see it.

Okay, wait, wait, wait. How did you guys get back to your place? Did you invite them? Yeah, I did, yeah. I mean, it just felt right. It did feel right did it no it's just yeah jeff is not shocked that you guys slept together at all so how was it i mean you don't have to give us all the details but yeah yeah i'm not gonna go into a lot of details but i had a

great time good okay best two minutes of your life i'm guessing all right oh maybe i need to leave the room again no No. Stay here. Sorry. Keep going, Michelle. Tell me more about. Aren't you glad that he didn't kill me or something? Like, just be happy. That would be different from at least all the other dates that we've heard.

So I would have taken that. But that's okay. Yeah. You'd be talking to a ghost. Yeah. How would she be on the phone? Now that would be a cool second date. Okay.

But let's go back to this. Okay. So you slept with him and then what? Oh my God. Yeah. Let's go back to this. Okay, so you slept with him, and then what? Oh, my God. Yeah, so then in the morning, I woke up, and just like a dumb rom-com, he was gone. So, yeah. Did he tell you beforehand? I mean, he did hand you a business card that he had work in the morning.

No, it really wasn't discussed. It was a big bummer. So it was such a cute, like, little meeting like little meeting and like our date was really nice and everything was really nice i'm just sort of worried he's kind of like a player which is why i'm turning to you guys i need a little bit of help through that i think jeff agrees with that statement i mean i kind of do too i don't know i mean he kind of got what he quote unquote wanted and then now i'm sure he'll you know find you at the airport and go past security, meet you at the gate, stop you from boarding a plane, play like a boombox outside of your window till you fall in love. But I won't know until we call him.

So let's play a song. We'll come back and we'll get your second date update. Okay, Michelle? Okay. Okay. All right. If you're just tuning in for the second date update i probably need to apologize yeah because an incident happened in the first part there where i got so upset i had to leave the room yeah and it's not because of anything our listener michelle did she sounds lovely actually

yeah she does she met a guy at a laundromat when the change machine happened to be broken. It's just that I've been so jaded by this show. I've heard so many of these cheesy, rom-com-y love stories on the second dates, and I just don't buy it anymore. Oh, Jeff, you've got to still have faith in love, bro. Hope is important in life, you know? Especially whenever we call a guy. Because we'll call them, it turns out, oh, they set up some elaborate, like, shady scheme to trick women into thinking that they've had this romantic chance encounter. And then they manipulate their emotions to slide into their DMs. And next thing you know, he's spending the night not calling her back, which, surprise, he did. Yeah, I know.

And his name is Ryder. Okay. So, no surprise there. There are a lot of red flags here. I understand. But I'm just pushing by them. Pushing by them. I'm looking at the positive, Jeffrey.

You're cool with men manipulating women just to sleep with them. That's what you're saying. As long as the women are okay being manipulated, I suppose. Brooke is pro-manipulation. I am not. But, anyway, I'm sorry, Michelle, for getting so heated. I want good things to happen for you. Thank you.

I just know it's not. I genuinely want good things to happen for you. I'm just worried because whenever we do whenever we do calls like this, there's always some weird thing that the guy has in his back pocket. It's like he's done this 20 times over the last week. Here's the thing. She's the one that invited this guy to her house. He didn't invite her over. All you need is for it to work one time,

for them to have one genuine connection and find love, and that's what we're here for, Jeff. Okay, no, I... That's a lot of pressure. I know. It is one in a million, but it's still one. We're just going for a second date, so don't worry. Okay.

So I am sorry, Michelle, okay? No, no, I am sorry that I triggered you in a very specific way. Yeah, we all apologize. In the laundromat way. Michelle, I mean, do you think he's not calling you back just because he's a one-and-done type of dude, or what? I hope not, because I feel like I have pretty good instincts in that way, and this felt so genuine. I'd have to reexamine everything that I already know about men.

Do you know what I mean? Well, all I know is that you're either going to be calling a psychologist after this, or I'm probably going to have to go to one, depending on what he says. I should probably have it anyway. Yeah. That sounds like it, actually. I guess I do need to talk to someone. Yeah.

All right, but let's knock this out first. I'm going to dial Ryder's phone number. You ready? I am. Okay, here we go. All right, but let's knock this out first. I'm going to dial Ryder's phone number. You ready? I am. Okay, here we go. Hello? Hi, can I speak to Ryder, please?

Yeah, this is him. Hey, Ryder. My name's Jeffrey from the radio show Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning. You have a second to talk with us? You're from what? Radio show. Who are you? I'm Brooke.

I'm here, too. And Jose's also here. Yes. Hey, what's up? We are a morning radio show called Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning. Okay, yeah. I just got to say, Ryder, you have a very masculine, manly voice. What?

Did you forget your meds this morning or something? You're all over the place, Jeffrey. I'm just trying to get to know Ryder a little bit because I have something very intimate to ask you and I want to build good rapport. Why would you say it that way? I kind of want to leave now. This is weird. Ryder, it's not that weird.

It's something we do on our show all the time. Yeah. Okay. So what we're doing here is called a second date update. That's where if you go on a date with someone and afterwards, if they're not calling you Yeah. Okay. So what we're doing here is called a second date update. That's where if you go on a date with someone and afterwards, if they're not calling you back, you can email our show and we'll call the person to try and figure out why. So someone emailed us about you. Okay.

Oh, gosh. You been on any dates lately? I know. Just even that okay sounds like you have a couple of options that came to mind. Do you remember going on a date with a woman named Michelle? Yeah. Okay. Okay.

You met Michelle at the laundromat, and that was cool. That was good. Michelle told us about how it all played out. Did she tell you all of it? Well, she told us what she knew from her perspective, that you guys met when the laundry change machine wasn't working. Fine. Oh, that was fine. you spotted her two extra quarters for her laundry and said that she owed you a beer so you guys went out and got a beer

yeah very smooth and so now we're we're wondering why you're not calling michelle back after you guys spent the night together yeah it was a strange happening. What was strange about it? So I slept over. And then, I don't know, it was around, like, maybe 1, 1.30 or so. I wake up, and I'm just getting, like, pummeled. What do you mean pummeled? Pummeled, like, punched? Like, she had a boyfriend that walked in or something? Oh, wow.

No, no. Like, she's, like, tossing elbows. Aggressive sleeper? What do you mean? She's just, like, smashing me with her elbows. Okay. While you're sleeping? Well, yeah, while I'm sleeping.

And then I wake up. And like two or three times, she just smashed me with her elbows. Eventually, I was just like, ah, what are you doing? Stop. And then she just sat straight up. And she just like looks me straight in the eyes and she just says you get what you deserve what wait she was awake i thought she was just like sleeping and doing this in her sleep yeah and then i i started like reacting vocally and she just hits me with

you get what you deserve and then just like relaxes and passes back out oh my god why would she say that i don't know man i just got out of there yeah don't you want to like ask her like why she did that to you not really you're scared of her yeah i i don't know if she's got some issues going on or something or if that's just like what she's into and she just brings people back and then beats them up. Oh, so you think that she was hitting you on purpose? I don't know. Maybe I was wrong about this whole call.

Maybe the creep isn't Ryder. Maybe the creep's Michelle. Uh-oh, Jeffrey. But there was a creep for you, Jeffrey. Well, you know what? Someone's creepy here. Let's find out because Ryder, I need to tell you that Michelle's actually been on the other line listening and she heard everything that you said.

What are you talking about? No, she's not. No, she is. She's actually been on the other line. Michelle, you there? Yeah, I'm here. God, you sound so sweet. I mean, I don't remember any of that.

Like, I'm so sorry if I hurt you, but also, like, why didn't you tell me that? Why didn't you wake me up? It sounds like he did. I mean, right. Are her eyes open when she said that to you? Yeah. Yeah.

It was creepy. Sometimes it seems like I'm awake, but I'm actually fully asleep. I have no memory of this. That feels so crazy. I don't know if that would hold up in a court of law. I mean, I don't know if that freaks me out more that you don't know if you're awake or not i mean like what else can you do in your sleep yeah i have never hit anyone to my knowledge in my sleep before and i do not think i hope it will never happen again but like also you should have texted me and been like hey remember when you

hit me in your sleep and then texted me and been like, hey, remember when you hit me in your sleep? And then I would have been like, no. What? No? No. Maybe you should have communicated. Yeah. Michelle, I don't think we can victim blame on this one. I don't think that's his fault.

Why didn't you ask me why I beat you up? Yeah. I mean, when I said you get what you deserve, like. Yeah. Maybe there's something deeper here that you don't even know about, Michelle, because you said you get what you deserve like yeah maybe there's something deeper here that you don't even know about michelle because you said you get what you deserve i was probably dreaming about an x or something you know what i mean okay that's not making the situation better michelle how many x's have you beat up yes none but i have wanted to of course i mean writer you you've got to believe her right she sounds so sincere

this feels insane like somebody telling me that I did this like again like I apologize but also like don't you think you're rolling this a little bit out of proportion like come on you hit me like right in the eye I mean it's not like you got a black eye or anything right Ryder

are you blind in that eye now? No, it wasn't that bad, but it still, like, hurt a bunch. No, I'm sure it was really scary, and I, again, I am so sorry. Do you forgive me? I mean, I'm not sure if I can, like, trust you if I sleep over again or something, you know? Maybe wear a helmet in bed? Yeah, a football helmet. No, but for real, Ryder, think about it.

You had a real connection with her, right? Your plan was to go on another date prior to the elbow to the eyes. Well, I don't know about that, but at least hook up again. Okay. All right. That's romantic. In that case, I would like to offer you, Ryder, to go on another date with Michelle and we'll pay for it okay is that a yes what does that mean you want to do it I guess what are you having like a day

lunch you know and honestly it feels like you're bribing him to date me and that feels awful oh well it's kind of the whole point of the segment i don't know we always offer to pay it's not just this situation yeah but the way he said yes to that just to get like a free lunch is like i don't know that feels bad so you don't want a date now is that what you're saying michelle it sort of seems like he's kind of a wussy if he can't handle this i'm not a big person you know i'm sorry i didn't fight you when you were asleep. Me too. Sorry I didn't sleep fight you. Yeah, alright. Well, I'll take

lunch for two. That's the option. No, no, Ryder. That's not how it works, man. So, I'm sorry. No second date for either of you, but it sounds like, Michelle, you didn't want one anyway now. Yeah, no, it's okay. I enjoyed our time together.

I'm sorry you're missing out on more of me. All right, well, have a good one. All right. You see, this is how love should go. Severe disappointment and just a teensy bit of physical assault. Oh, my God. Now it's back to normal. There we go.

I love it. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you

finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer.

If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon,

listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors.

And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.