Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update PODCAST: Litter Bug

Episode Date: October 5, 2020

One listener got caught in a bad downward spiral on his date....One wrong thing kept leading to another, and he needs our help breaking the cycle!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Second date update. Have you ever been out on a hot date and done something totally innocent, but to the other person it looked really bad? You know? Like, I know as a guy, if you're ever over at a girl's place trying to hook up and you like hop into the bathroom to bust out some pushups real quick to make your chest seem bigger. Is that really something that you do? Oh, yeah. You want to get that swell on to seem a little bit bigger than you are.

But through the door, all she can hear is a bunch of grunting. Yeah. And then you come out all sweaty. And it's like, oh, you thought I would, oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. That's not what I was doing. You don't hook up very much, do you, Jeffrey? It was, I had a rough go.

A rough go early on there. Well, one of our listeners apparently got himself into a situation that was totally legitimate, but it may have looked really, really bad. Oh, no. His name is TJ. TJ, we'll get to your embarrassing moment in just a second, but first, tell us about the girl you want to call today. What's her name?

Hey, guys. So, her name is Alicia. Okay. Jolly TJ. Where'd you meet Alicia? I met her on that app, Plenty of Fish. All right. Oh.

I mean, we say it like that. Why did you choose Plenty of Fish, TJ? Can you tell us? That is a good question. Yeah, yeah. I feel like Tinder and some of those other apps are more like hookup apps, and I'm at a place where I'm looking to meet somebody to have a relationship with. Yeah.

That's interesting. Not what I think of Plenty of Fish. I didn't know fish had enough money to make an app. That's amazing. Well, when there's plenty of them. They put all their little coins together. They just, yeah, pulled it. We're just saying that because Plenty of Fish is kind of known in the dating world as like the very

bottom end of the app. If that makes sense. That's actually not what I've heard and I kind of feel that Tinder's kind of the bottom of the barrel. If you like it, that's all that matters. I mean, you got a hot date, it sounds like, out of it, right TJ? Yeah, it was actually very

interesting. She had a link in her bio to this YouTube video and it was like her dancing at a wedding and she had so much energy and it was horrible dancing. Oh my god, I love you for that. That is cool. Yeah, we all know somebody that's just a terrible dancer, but you know what? It's cool that they just own it. Yeah, I love you for that. That is cool. Yeah, we all know somebody that's just a terrible dancer, but you know what?

It's cool that they just own it. Yeah, I mean, the people who really go all out are the ones that you love the most. Yeah, that's really endearing. Yeah, I mean, Alexis is in the room. She knows, understands. I was waiting for that. Terrible dancer, Alexis. Okay.

And if I'm being honest, I'm also a horrible dancer, but I do it with enthusiasm. Hey, there you go. That's cute. As long as you're having fun. So did you use that as an opening line with her or something? I actually did, and it was great because it wasn't that typical like, hey, what's going on? It was like, I'm also a bad dancer.

That's what I said. All right. Okay. Obviously that worked out for you. It did. So what did you guys do for your date? So I took her out to this nice restaurant and dressed up,

was really excited, gave her a good meal. And it was a great time, but I'll be honest, I don't go to a lot of nice restaurants. I'm not like... How dare you? You're not wealthy.

Hang up on this man. We only talk to people who go out to nice restaurants on a consistent basis. Like I'm normally good with Chipotle or McDonald's. But I wanted to do something nice. We go to this restaurant and a little

something happened at the beginning that I think maybe threw her off. It threw me off. I'm not used to places that bring you wines to the table and give you... They gave me a little sample of the wine to taste it to see if i would like it i was completely unaware that you're not supposed to uh spit it back out

you have to have like a spittoon if you're gonna do that like what did you where did you spit it back out right back in your glass yeah oh honey listen i used to be a fine dining server when you see someone not know what to do it is excruciating as a server but honestly she laughed and like she didn't seem to judge me for that at the moment that's awesome that's good yeah and you shouldn't be judged for it i mean it's a silly mistake and it's cute that you're laughing at it yourself totally yeah so is that the embarrassing thing that you said happened? So that was a embarrassing thing that happened. There was something else.

We got back on track. We had good conversation, had some wine, had a really good time. Swallowed it this time. Yeah, totally. It just spins it all, right? Exactly. They brought me a different glass, so it was great. Good service. Good service.

Good service. And at the end, she had made it very clear when she got there, you know, like in a nice way that she would feel more comfortable if we split the check, which was totally cool with me. You know, I get that. No pressure. So we did that. We each put our card on the bill. Okay. Her card, she had like a unique cover on her card, though.

It was actually really cool. It was like this eagle over the waves with a sunset. Like I've never seen a it was like this eagle over the waves with a sunset like i've never seen a credit card like this yeah i mean you can get like personalized credit cards like sports team on my whatever picture you want yeah totally and i've seen sports teams i've just never seen like this piece of art that was so neat okay so i took a picture of it because I wanted to, like, keep this piece of art. It was so cool. Oh. And right as I was taking the picture of it, she came back to the table.

That looks bad. That looks so bad. That's really icky. Like, now I think she thinks I was trying to, like, steal her credit card information or, like. What did you say to her? I told her. I was like, no, I really like this design. And she kind of smiled.

It's a card. Yeah. It's a rectangle. Did she tell you to delete the photo? I would have. Yeah. She didn't, but she also kind of clammed up and grabbed her card immediately and put it back in her wallet. And you're like, no, just sign this.

I just want to see what your signature looks like. By the way, what's your social? Yeah, what's your birthday? Just a coincidence. So I feel so dumb because then the rest of the night, you know, like we kind of wrapped things up there and said goodnight. You know, we kind of gave each other a hug,

but it was like kind of an awkward hug. Yeah, you lost your momentum. Yeah, and it was going so well, guys, despite the wine mix-up. It was going so well. So I just, I feel dumb, guys, and I just don't know how to talk to her and get her back because she's ghosting me. I mean, you do come across for sure as a credit card thief. Yeah.

Just to be blunt. I hope not, but I understand, like, why she would have thought that. I mean, I hope not. I have a new TV, but it's fine. Well, let's see what Alicia has to say. We're going to play a song, we'll come back, we'll call her, and we'll try and get you your second date update, all right? Thanks, guys. I appreciate it.

All right, hold on. If you're single, trying to find love, you can treat every date like a learning experience. Okay, yeah, that's nice. You kind of figure out what to do and what not to do in the dating world. And one of our listeners, TJ, definitely learned a lot of things you shouldn't do when he went out with a woman named Alicia. He learned do not spit your wine back into the glass when the server offers you a taste. Also, don't take a photo of your date's credit card because you think the design on the front's cool.

Some things you think people would already know. Yeah. But the important thing is he's going to take these life lessons, chew them up, digest them, unlike his wine, and then maybe turn it into another date. Okay. He's going to poop it out? That's good. That's quite the cycle. That's how you learn.

But TJ, okay, if it doesn't work out, you know, it's all right. That's the whole idea behind the website Plenty of Fish is that there's plenty of other fish for you to learn from. Good point, Jeffrey. Eventually, you're bound to snag one of these pesky fish, maybe one of the dumb ones. You're saying it's a numbers game.

Yeah. So don't give up. Maybe a throwback, but you can always keep it. There you go. Fair enough. That's good to know. Okay. I don't think he feels much better. TJ, but you can always keep it. There you go. Fair enough. That's good to know. Okay. I don't think he feels much better.

TJ, I actually have a lot of faith in this one because I can totally understand. Like, she met you on Plenty of Fish. You're taking pictures of her credit card, why she's not calling back. But I'll vouch for you that you're a stand-up guy and you weren't committing credit card fraud. Yeah. I appreciate that because I wasn't. Okay. How do you know, though, Brooke?

I don't know. I just trust him. He sounds like a nice guy. TJ. That's how know. I just trust him. He sounds like a nice guy. TJ. TJ doesn't even know how to taste wine correctly. I mean, he's not sophisticated enough to pull off some, like, big scheme. All right. Just saying.

She's not wrong, guys. She's really not wrong. She's not wrong. See? I like TJ. Me too. I believe you now too, brother. Okay, TJ.

Let's try and get you a second date. I'm going to call Alicia and we'll see what she has to say. You ready? I absolutely am. Thanks, guys. All right. Let's dial the number right now. Here we go.

Hello? Hi. Can I speak to Alicia, please? This is Shay. Hi, Alicia. Hello? Hi, can I speak to Alicia, please? This is Shay. Hi, Alicia. My name's Jeffrey from the radio show Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning. How'd you get this number? We're just going through the phone book,

dialing everybody's numbers, saying what's up. There's no phone book listing of cell phone numbers. We're really bored. Oh, well, you have to pay for it. Yeah. The real reason I'm calling is we're doing something called a second date update. Have you ever heard of that before? I've heard people talk about it, but I didn't know it was a real thing.

Yep. It's real. And now you're on one. So how about that? Are you serious? This is hilarious. Yeah. Am I on air right now?

Yeah, that's right. Is that cool with you, Alicia? I mean, I guess. Sure. All right, I'll take that. Yeah, that works. That's an affirmative. So, the reason why we're calling you is because a guy emailed us hoping to get a hold of you.

His name is TJ. Oh. Oh, no. Oh, you were all happy. TJ. Oh. Oh, no. Aw, you were all happy. Not the fish you were hoping for. Not really. I mean... Oh, no.

He called you guys? Yeah. I mean, he told us all about your day, and we spoke with him a little bit. He sounds like a really nice guy. I mean, he's all right. That's such a bad review. I don't know how to explain this.

I'm caught off guard. I'm sorry. So TJ did, when we spoke to him, he told us about some of the awkward things that happened during your date. He told us about spitting wine back into his glass when he was going to taste it. Yeah, I mean, I wasn't sure if he was trying to be funny or not. I mean, then I realized that he just didn't know what was going on. But it was kind of, like, cute, right? Like, it's one of those moments where you're like, oh, you're so dorky.

It's cute. Yeah, it was more like, oh, you're so dumb and not. Okay. Yeah. He said he had a few of those moments because he also told us about at the end of the night when he was taking a picture of your credit card. And he said that he wasn't trying to, like, steal your information off of it. He was just really impressed by the design on the front of the card.

Oh, my God. All right. So that creeped me out initially. And it didn't cross my mind that he was trying to steal information because I could easily identify him and get him for that. But what really drove me nuts was like, so for dessert, he had ordered like, it was a decadent like peanut butter brownie dessert. Okay. And he was like handling his phone and he had touched my credit card

and his fingers were just so filthy. It was like toddler sticky fingers. Wait, what? Hold on. I'm sorry. You didn't think that he was like, I thought for sure you weren't calling him back because he looked like some credit card scammer.

But you were just grossed out by him a little bit? Yeah, like a lot of bit. Oh. Because he had sticky fingers and he touched your credit card with them, that's it? Spitting wine out. It wasn't just sticky. Like, he had peanut butter, like, on his nail. Like, it was just.

Let's hope it was peanut butter. Yeah. Yeah. Well, now that you mention it, I mean... Oh, my God. I mean, I could see where that moment would be. I mean, but... I see how it would be sort of disgusting,

but you think that you don't have a future with him romantically because he has sticky fingers after eating a delicious treat? It's just, it was embarrassing. But, I mean, there was, like like another issue that I had with him. So like after our date, I went on Facebook and looked him up. I was very intrigued by his messy eating. But I noticed that we had a mutual friend. So I messaged her and asked her if she like, how did she know TJ?

Like, did she go out and date with him? And then that girl ended up messaging me on Messenger. And said, TJ basically has a littering problem. Littering? Did you say littering, like throw garbage on the ground littering? Yeah, and I'm like one of those people, I'm like, I find that very disrespectful, and I'm not cool with that. Basically, she had mentioned that they had gone out on a date to Chick-fil-A.

Okay. You definitely stepped up the class with your date though, so maybe you should take that as a compliment. I guess, but after he had finished eating, they were in the car and he just kind of chucked the whole bag of garbage out the window. What? Oh, that's bad. I was like, who's tattling on

people for littering? But that's like a moment. That's like... We were talking, who's tattling on people for littering? But that's like a moment. That's like, yeah. We were talking about behaviors that you can change and can't change. You can't change a litterer. That's for sure. Who just throws a whole bag of something out the window? Yeah, that's messed up. Are you sure?

I mean, maybe this is like hearsay. You know, it's like this person knew this person knew this person. Like, what if it's even just a different TJ altogether or something? That's a good point. So let's ask TJ directly. TJ, are you a litterer? So this is the problem with getting secondhand. Hi.

First of all, hi, Alicia. So Alicia, I should probably tell you that TJ's been on the other line listening and you heard everything that she said. Did I forget to mention that? Yeah, you did. I know exactly what you're talking about. And let me clarify, because again, that's the problem with secondhand telephone. You know, people just say things.

There was a giant cockroach on the floor of her car. And I had to use the bag to kill it. But it was climbing up on the bag. So I threw it out the window because I just, I freaked out. So, Alicia, what do you think in here? Are you skeptical or do you believe him? I mean, is that a real story? Like, why would you even go and handle a cockroach?

I mean, they're fat. How can you even catch it? What are the odds you're in a car and you see a cockroach? It's never happened once in my life. And then second, that it happens to climb on while you're throwing. It depends on the state of the inside of that car. Listen, he didn't know that he was going to have to defend himself in this story, Alicia.

And he came up immediately with this response. I mean, either he's an incredible liar or that that is just the truth. That's a good point, Brooke. I know it doesn't make me sound like the manliest man,

but I... And not the most hygienic person either. Like, earlier we learned that you're a messy eater who doesn't care about getting those nasty peanut butter fingers on your phone. How could you not see that? That would be a huge turn off on a date. I don't know why.

I don't know why. And I bet he's the type of person that likes to lick the peanut butter off his fingers one by one. It's definitely under his fingernail beds. Well, actually not anymore because he already sucked it all out. I mean, Alicia, would you have gone out with him again if you hadn't heard the litter story? I don't know. I feel like maybe he needs to go to finishing school or something.

Finishing school? TJ, I don't think Alicia is trying to be mean. She's just trying to help you out so you don't do this again in the future. Frankly, she's not who I thought she was. And honestly, I don't mean to insult you, but you're being a negative Nancy right now. Oh, wow. Dang, we got to bleep that? I don't know.

That was bad? I told you the aggressive TJ was coming out earlier. He means business. Honestly, I think you're being quite judgmental. And I thought we had a nice time. And if you're this nitpicky and judgmental, I don't know if I want a second date. Oh. TJ laying down the law.

Is he a little more attractive when he does that? Or are you rolling your eyes right now? I mean, I'm fine with that choice. That makes it easier for me to say no. Well, no, you guys can't do that because I have to ask you if you guys would like to go out on another date first and we'll pay for it. I think I'm going to have to pass, you guys. I'm sorry.

I'm happy with this, guys. I'm going to have to pass too. Well, I'm sorry, TJ. No second date. You know what? I'm fine with that, guys. There's plenty of fish like you told me earlier. Or plenty of cockroaches depending on what website you want to try. Moving 92.5. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show,

which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late-night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. $1.4 billion in NFL quarterback contracts. The untold stories behind the biggest deals in football history.

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