Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update PODCAST: Lucky Underwear

Episode Date: November 11, 2020

It takes a lot for us to feel embarrassed....But this date has us CRINGING. It involves a weird restaurant mix-up and a pair of very soggy pants....See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Bread and butter wines are delicious. Find bread and butter wines in your favorite store. Moving 92.5. Second date update. We got an email from a guy who says this might be the most horrifying thing to ever happen on a first date. That's intense. That's a big promise to make for one of these. So, I don't know, did he accidentally go to a boy band concert?

Or did his vanilla latte have soy milk instead of almond milk? Oh, no. I could only imagine if that happened to me. It'd take me years to get over it and be open to dating again. Yeah. Makes sense. We'll see what it is with one of our listeners named Andrew. How you doing, Andrew?

I'm doing all right. I'm really grateful that you guys are so willing to help me. Okay. It sounds like you're working against destiny right now. Possibly. I'm open to you telling me the truth. Okay. So what's the name of the woman that you want to call today?

Is her name Destiny? Her name is Caroline. Oh, Caroline. Close, Jeffrey. Very close. How'd you meet her? How'd you meet Caroline? We met at a barbecue through mutual friends.

We were hanging out. It's a nice little barbecue. And she's just a lovely person. I mean, I just, first time i saw her like i couldn't couldn't put my finger on it but she kind of looked like the sister of a celebrity you know like she had like did you that is a funny thing i've never heard anyone use that before did you tell her that i kept that to myself because i didn't want to make her feel self-conscious in any way, you know? Whoa, you look like Jennifer Aniston's sister. That doesn't sound right.

Oh, my God. So is this the date? Is the barbecue the date? No, no, no, no, no, no. So we hit it off there. We wound up exchanging numbers. Where'd you guys go? What'd you do?

We went to one of my favorite restaurants here in town. It's Italian. Nice. My family is friends with the owners. Ooh, humble brag. Yeah, I know, right? I just want to throw that in there. I know the chef.

No, no, I pay for my check. I'm not going in there trying to get a bunch of free stuff. Okay, okay, good. Okay, so how was dinner? Dinner was great, but the story kind of got a little uncomfortable on the way to dinner. Oh, okay. So I picked her up, and on the way to dinner, we were stopped at a four-way stoplight,

and out of nowhere comes this gigantic truck that blew through the stop sign and literally almost... Died. It could have been really, really bad, yeah. But there was no accident. It didn't happen. Luckily, there was no accident.

That's terrifying, dude. Yeah, and in the terror and the excitement of the moment i peed myself a little bit for real what's a little bit a lot of it please tell me you were in like black pants or something you wouldn't be able to see it yeah i was I was wearing dark pants, but it was a little chilly outside, and I had the car kind of warmed up for both of us, so I had my heat heater. I hate to break this to you. Are you saying that it stunk?

Yeah, I think it probably created a bit of an aroma. Oh. The good news was we got out unscathed, we got to the restaurant, and I got our table right away, which is a great time. It was a busy restaurant. We walked right in.

Good that it was busy. I don't think this is good. Why wouldn't you just say, you know what? I'm really shaken by that. Can we do this another time? Because men don't get shaken, Brooke. He literally just peed his pants. Yeah, men finish the date wet pants and all.

Thank you, Jeffrey. Go home is what I'm saying. No, he's going hard. My pants were actually not that wet. So it was mostly my underwear that took in the brunt of the... It was a piddle. I'm saying. No, he's going hard. My pants were actually not that wet. So it was mostly my underwear that took in the brunt of the...

It was a piddle. I get it. Or it's an extra absorbent underwear. Ooh, yeah. What's the brand? And I know that they have like scented baby powder

in the men's room. So like I made a beeline right for the restroom. Nice. And so what I did was I went to the stall. I took my pants off. I took my underwear off.

And I asked the attendant to ask the busboy for a doggy bag for me. Why wouldn't you just throw them away? You're going to put the dirty underwear in a doggy bag? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. These are my lucky underwear. Because you put them on for the date. Oh, my God. Clearly, they're lucky.

You almost died. Oh, that's funny. But I get that. I have a pair of lucky underwear. So do I. Like, even if I soiled it, I would not part with it. What? I feel the same, bro.

This is a thing. Yeah. Yeah. Anytime I have a big show coming up, I wear my lucky underwear. You should try moving on from the Costco pack of 20 granny panties, Brooke. I'm telling you it's going to change your life. But anyway. She's wearing anything.

Yeah. Anyway. So, Andrew, you saved your underwear, and then you went back to the date? Yeah. Oh, my God. So, I got the underwear in the doggy bag. I go back to the table. Everything was totally fine. We had a great time.

It was amazing. And then, you know, we didn't finish our food. So we got some of it packed up. We drove home. There was never a mention of any of it. But when I drop her off at her house, she took the wrong doggy bag. Oh, no. Good Lord.

Yeah, one of them had the food and one of them had my lucky underwear. Did you know it at the time? I didn't know it until I was on my way driving away and I called her. She didn't answer. Oh, no. So I pulled over and I texted, whatever you do, Caroline, do not open the doggy bag. Oh, no. You had your pee panties in them.

Of course she's going to open that. Yeah. Dude, has she called you back? Have you heard anything? Or did she pass out from the smell? I haven't heard a thing. You are a mess. Dude, this is bad.

You've given us a challenge today, Andrew. And you know what? We're going to rise to the challenge. Do we have to? At the very least, I need my lucky underwear back. It's a reconnaissance mission, if nothing else. It could be collateral in this, but... We don't have to lead with that.

We'll save it, but first of all, play a song, we'll come back, we'll call Caroline, and we'll try and get you your second date update, okay? Thank you. Okay, hold on. Oh, young love. So much beauty in it.

There's laughter, gorgeous weather, and the scent of urine wafting through the air. Gross! That's what we're talking about today with a guy named Andrew. And I'm being serious about the urine. It was wafting. Yeah! But it was not his

fault. Isn't that right, Andrew? Yeah. You peed yourself. Yeah, but it wasn't his fault. I will back him on that one. Not his fault. Because while Andrew was driving to the restaurant, he had a near accident with a truck, which frightened him, and it forced a little bit of urine

to come out. But the weird part of the night was that at the very end of the evening, his date Caroline took out a doggy bag of what she thought was her leftover food, but it actually had Andrew's soiled underwear inside of it. Oh!

Sorry, his lucky soiled underwear. He didn't throw it away because it is his lucky pair. Now, Andrew, when we call Caroline, I just want you to know I'm not going to mention the underwear thing. What? You have to. No. She opened the doggie bag. It was at her house. We don't know if she's opened it yet.

She just took the doggie bag in, and it's not our place to do that. We've gotten in trouble before for oversharing on these second dates and revealing something that they didn't know about. I'm sorry. You really think she didn't open it? She could smell it. He was acting weird. And when someone says, all caps, do not open that no matter what, you have to. Your curiosity will kill you.

Absolutely. You were under contract to open it at that point. Just a peek. Yes. Just a peek. I'm not going to mention it, okay, Andrew? Because you know what? You and I have something called trust, and I know that Brooke and Jose may not trust you or trust Caroline, but I do.

Yeah, I think we did bond on the lucky underwear topic. You and Jeffrey did. Here's the thing, Andrew. You went wrong the first time by not aborting the date once you peed yourself, okay? Now you just have to lay it all out there. She's going to understand. I was actually trying to own up to it that night, but she didn't answer any of my calls or text.

Oh, that's right. So whatever you guys can do to help me is great. Okay, well, let's dial her phone number right now and see if we can get you your second date update. You ready? Yeah, I won't say anything. Okay. Well, thank you.

You will have to say something eventually. You just let me know when I can, okay? Okay. Well, thank you. You will have to say something eventually. You just let me know when I can. Okay. Okay. I give you permission. All right, here we go. Hello. Hi, can I speak to Caroline, please? This is Caroline. Hi, Caroline. My name is Jeffrey from the radio show Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning. You have a moment to talk with us? Sorry, wait, what? I'm from a radio show that's called Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning, and we're calling you today because we're doing something called a second date update.

Okay. And now you're on it too. All right. Okay. It's fun. We just try to have a good time. Yeah. If you go out on a date with someone and afterwards, if that person isn't calling you back, you can email our show and we'll get in touch with them for you to figure out the reason why.

And so the guy that wants to get in touch with you, his name is Andrew. Uh-huh. Okay. And Andrew told us a little bit about your date that night when you went to the Italian restaurant. And he thought he had a really good time with you and that you guys connected. But he isn't 100% sure why you're not calling him back. And he'd like to get an answer on that. Okay, well, at the start, I thought that he seemed like a good guy.

You're talking about at the barbecue where you met? Yeah, he seemed nice at the barbecue. But now I think that maybe he was a different sort of guy than what my first impression was. Yeah. Did he do something? It sounds like you think he's a bad dude now. Am I reading that right? I guess I just had like a gut feeling.

And then something later kind of proved that to be true okay can you elaborate he tried to do this really weird like sexual thing to me when well he wasn't like present when i came home he had given me a bag like with his T-Rex underwear in it. Oh, no. Did you say T-Rex? Yeah, they had, like, little T-Rexes on them. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's awesome.

That is so embarrassing. Cool. How did that make you feel? Well, it was just creepy. Like, I didn't know what he did with them or like in them so they like kind of smelled and then he like kept trying to call me which is even creepier um I I mean Caroline I understand I would have been totally freaked out I would have even been scared if some dude gave me his underwear in a bag but yeah I definitely thought it was sort of suggestive, like, here are your leftovers.

Come get some more if you want to. Oh, that's not at all what he meant. I mean, but it makes sense. But it's not what he meant, Carolyn. No, we know for a fact that's not what he was trying to say. Oh, my gosh. How do you know what he meant? I mean, did he tell you guys about it? Yeah, he told us a little bit about it, but I feel like it would be best coming directly from him.

Yes. Because he actually is on the other line listening, and he wants to talk to you. No, wait, he's actually on the other line? It's not weird. We promise we will not do this. You've got to hear him out. I would not let you talk to some creep who's giving you dirty underwear. I promise. It's actually really funny. Andrew, you there?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. yeah hey hey caroline hi i cannot believe that i made you think that about me this is a huge misunderstanding that i i in no way was trying to do some weird pervy thing, I swear. Okay, well then what are you saying you were doing? Okay, so. Oh my God, you're so embarrassed and I don't blame you. That's so embarrassing. Yeah, so you remember on our way to the restaurant when we almost got hit by that truck? Mm-hmm.

And I mean, I did some pretty decent maneuvering in the car and we got out of that situation alive it was a fast and the furious type situation and you were Vin Diesel yeah thanks for the assist there but I am not used to being in that kind of situation and nothing like this has ever happened to me

before but my reaction physically was uncontrollable peeing. So while we were in that situation, I had an accident. That doesn't explain why you gave me your underwear in a bag. Yeah, it does still. Isn't that sad?

You're going to have to finish that story there, Andrew. We went to the restaurant. i immediately went to the bathroom i took those underwear off and i put them in a doggy bag why didn't you throw them away go ahead because they're my lucky underwear and they're special to me and i didn't want to lose them see what? What adult has lucky underwear? That's what I said, Caroline. No, excuse me. Listen, all the guys that work on this show have lucky underwear. I didn't believe it either,

but they all stand by it. Are they all, like, dinosaur themed? No. No, mine are checkered. What? Plaid, whatever that's called. Jeffrey, you got skateboards on yours? No, I say they're all white Calvin Klein's,

but that's not the point. The point is, Caroline, that you weren't meant to get the underwear. It was an accident. That's what I think Andrew was building up towards. Yeah. So I put my underwear in the doggy bag. You brought your food home. You were supposed to go home with your food.

I was supposed to go home with my lucky drawers. And you were never supposed to find out. You weren't. And here we are now. And I just I'd love another chance. You weren't. And here we are now. And I just, I'd love another chance. All right. We did it. Big weight off our shoulders. So are we all good now, Caroline?

You get it. I don't think I believe you. Like, let's say that you did, like, exactly what I thought you did, which is this, like, like creepy suggestive gesture don't you think that it would be like kind of a great way like to cover that up by like calling a radio station and making up this absurd story with the axe you were in it you were almost in the accident right that really i mean i see what you're saying carolyn and i know that i know that we're all jaded out there but why would he call in and just humiliate himself on the radio? Like, that's an embarrassing story.

No, it's less humiliating than being a creeper. He wet himself and he wears T-Rex underwear. Like, if he wanted to pull a sexy move, I'm hoping that that wouldn't be his underwear of choice. The whole thing is we're getting off point here, Caroline. He did not mean for you to get that underwear. That was a total accident. He even sent you a text message telling you not to open it.

And called you. And you disobeyed him anyway. Now, with that being said, would you like to go on a second date? We'll pay for it. Caroline, you remember me opening the windows after the accident? It was really cold outside,

but I had the windows open. Do you remember that? That's true. And what if he agrees to not wear any underwear on the next date so that way you can get a weird gift from him? I will do whatever Caroline says. But yes, I can go commando. Okay.

All right, Caroline, come on. Just in case. Okay, I will go, but I swear to God, if I get home and any of your articles of clothing have made it into my car, that's that. Don't try calling a radio show to get another date again. That's fair. That is a deal. Okay. And I want you to know that I think you're a very special person.

Aw. So you are worth all of this. So let's try to start fresh, and maybe we'll just have a funny story to tell down the line. All right. Well, successful second date update. Yay! Congratulations, Andrew. Thank you.

Thank you, Caroline. Prove me wrong, right? Definitely. And, Andrew, what you just said before was definitely not creepy at all. But what part? Moving 92.5. John Stewart is back at The Daily Show and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show ears edition podcast dive into john's unique take on the biggest topics in politics entertainment sports and more joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors and with extended interviews and exclusive weekly

headline roundups this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else ready to laugh and stay informed listen on the iheart radioRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You don't need another podcast. You've got too many already. But if you're looking for one that actually changes something, a way to take control of the chaos and find meaning, well, then maybe the one you feed is for you. I'm Eric Zimmer, and I bring real conversations with real people

to help you feed the best part of yourself. No hype, no fluff, just wisdom that works. Listen to The One You Feed on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The forces shaping markets and the economy are often hiding behind a blur of numbers. So that's why we created The Big Take from Bloomberg Podcasts, to give you the context you need to make sense of it all. Every day in just 15 minutes, we dive into one global business story that matters. You'll hear from Bloomberg journalists like Matt Levine. A lot of this meme stock stuff is, I think, embarrassing to the SEC.

Follow The Big Take podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen.