Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update PODCAST: Meter Maid in Heaven

Episode Date: January 24, 2018

This Second Date Update features one of the most HATED people on in the entire city: a METER MAID. One of our listeners went on a date with this hot, hot meter maid. In fact, she reminds him of someone he knows pretty well...See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Really? Because he went out on a date with someone who works in one of the sexiest professions ever. What? Like, think of the sexiest job out there. And he was able to score a date with a meter maid. Oh, what? Woo! Man, meter maids always so hot. Not really. They're out there working the pole all day long. What pole? Man, meter maids always so hot.

They're out there working the pole all day long. What pole? Like the parking meter pole? Yeah, parking meter poles. That's what they do. They work the poles. It's a very short pole, sir. They give you tickets. Yeah, and then they scream at you when you say, hey, I was just about to move my car. They got their little golf cart Cushman vehicles that they roll around in.

And uniforms. And usually amazing calves. A lot of walking in that job. But Eric's on the phone for a second date update. Eric, how did you score a date with a meter maid? Well, I never thought I would do it, but she was leaving me a ticket. And I was like, oh, come on. You've got to be kidding me.

I was so angry. Yeah, because she was hot. Oh, because you're angry. Sorry. And then I noticed her. And she looked hot in her little uniform and her cute little shoes. And I'm like, wow. Yeah. You know.

That sexy meter maid uniform. We all know it very well. Hey, if you can look hot in that outfit, I was just thinking of the possibility. That's a good point. But here's the thing. As a meter maid, I can't imagine thinking that someone is actually hitting on you. I would think you were doing

it as a ploy to try to get out of a ticket. Oh. I knew she might think that, so I had to be extra creative. I waited until she got a couple cars down, and then I walked up to her and I go, hey, you gave me this ticket, but I see you left your phone number on there so I could call you.

And of course she was like, what? No, I didn't. And I go, yeah, you did. I showed it to her. And she goes, that's not my phone number. And I go, oh, that's right. That's my phone number. So maybe you should call me.

Oh, wow. I wrote it on a little stub so I could rip it off. So I handed her the tiny little stub. So you just cited me for parking illegally. I'm citing you for being too hot in a non-sexy zone. Oh, my gosh. All of this is so horrible. I cannot believe you got a call back.

Honestly, she laughed. I don't think she wanted to, but she had to. She laughed. She thought it was cute, until I thought, all right, maybe I got a chance here. Okay then i went home and i waited and i'm like ah didn't happen boom and she texted me well that's a lot of sound effects in that description of what happened boom but i get it you know i'm italian what could i say yeah i hope you're making those sound effects by yourself when you got home and sat down sorry so she texted you

and did you guys actually go out on a date we did we went out for a date we went out to dinner please tell me you took her um meter made patrol car on the day you got to park anywhere yeah yeah she was driving in the middle i was sitting in the back no i took her to dinner and um i mean, I'm not going to lie. She looked gorgeous in her uniform, but she was just stunning when she came out in a dress. And you're like, you were a meter maid? I mean, she should be a model. So how was dinner?

I mean, what was she like? I've always been curious, like what those people are like in the real world. Those people? Those people, I can only judge on one that I've met. She, you know, the coolest thing, I swear to judge on one that I've met. You know the coolest thing? I swear to God, this sounds weird. A lot of times you take a girl out to dinner. They don't eat much.

They try to pretend like they don't eat much. She wanted full-out ribs. She ordered the full-on plate. Whoa. Awesome. Meter maids like ribs. Got it. You didn't comment on that, though, right?

Not initially. I didn't comment initially, but I probably did a little later oh what do you mean by that well after i had a few drinks i think i made some kind of joke that you know that she eats like my brother oh sure she liked that oh yeah i mean i was trying to be funny about it, but, you know, I don't know if in retrospect it was the smartest decision on my part. But, you know, the drinks were talking at that point. Were you obviously drunk? I don't know if I was obviously drunk, but I think to her I was. I probably had four cocktails, maybe three.

I don't think I finished my fourth. She sipped on one glass of wine all night and didn't even finish that. She kept herself in control, and I probably got a little silly. Silly, that's a good way to put it. I feel like on a date, you should always stay drink to drink with your date so that you always know you're going to be on the same level. Thank you. That's what I was hoping for.

No, no, not for her to drink a lot. That means you don't drink as much, dude. No, no, no. For her to drink a lot, that means you don't drink as much, dude. Oh, I should have stayed with her. Yes. Like after you ordered your third one, you should have been like, I'm not going to order a fourth just yet. But you know how it goes. After you hit your second, you're about halfway through your

third, you're like, let's just keep going. Before you know it, you're doing lines in front of her while she's still working on a glass of wine i know how it goes oh man exactly how did things end eric well they ended pretty nice you know we we i go hey do you want to go get a night cap somewhere and uh i see you couldn't finish that wine there do you want to get another glass of wine somewhere else and not finish it? Well, she was like, no, I got an early day tomorrow. She pulled that one on me.

So wait, how did things end well if that's how they ended? Well, no, I mean, I'm just saying, I don't say they ended great or they ended terribly. She just sort of made it seem like I got to get home. And, you know, it wasn't super late, 1030-ish, I guess. And so I took her home and tried to kiss't super late 1030 ish I guess and so I took her home and tried to kiss her I got the old kiss on the cheeks and I said okay so I'll call you and let's let's go out again and then I haven't heard back so I don't know why I felt like I did a pretty good job on the date I'm not gonna lie okay really enjoyed her company all right well we'll see if

we can get you another chance in and play a song and come right back and get your second date update next. That would be great. All right, man. Hang on. Moving 92.5. Brooke and Jubal in the Morning's Second Date Update. If you're just joining us for today's second date update, Eric is on the phone today. And Eric met the girl that he wants to call while she was giving him a parking ticket.

Yeah. He looked at her and all he could think was... Like a cop cop. Parked illegally. Oh my god, why do I think that was your jam back in the day? I love that song, Mrs. Officer by Lil Wayne. I know that's what was going through Eric's head when he was getting a parking ticket. But anyway, he hit her up.

She said yes and they went out, had dinner. He thinks that the problem is he got a little too drunk at dinner and was a little annoying. And also made reference to the fact that she ate a lot of food. And he thinks that might have upset her. So we're about to get her on the phone and find out what happened because she hasn't called him. And if those are the things, like you drank too much, what's your plan to win her back? My plan is to take her on a day date, go hiking. Okay.

A sober date. Yes, exactly. All right. Until you find mushrooms out there and then you maybe eat the mushrooms. I'll pack something. All right. What's her name, by the then you maybe eat the mushrooms. I'll pack something. All right. What's her name, by the way? I don't think I ever got her name from you.

Cora. Yeah. Dude, it happened again. I don't know if anybody else is hearing it, but I'm hearing that Lil Wayne song in my head again. I'm hearing your sexy name. Good officer, Cora. I don't know if you get an officer.

Her name was Cora. Do you get an officer when you're a meter maid? Do you get that as part of a title? We'll find out. We'll call her right now. Hello? Hi, may I speak to Cora, please? This is she.

Hey, Cora, how are you? This is Jubal from Brooke and Jubal in the Morning. I'm sorry, who is this? Jubal from the radio show Brooke and Jubal in the Morning. We play all the hits. I don't know if you've heard this one before. That's that Lil Wayne song, Miss Officer.

I don't know if you've ever heard that song before. We play that song at one point. Okay, I'm sorry. Can I help you? Yes, you can. I'm calling you today because one of our listeners actually emailed us about you and asked us to give you a call. Sorry, I'm very confused. That's all right.

Do you need me to do something? You're not going to arrest me, are you? Okay, Drew, we'll stop with this. What are you talking about? Well, you went on a date a little while ago with a dude named Eric. Yeah? Yeah, and Eric emailed us because we do a segment on our show called The Second Date Update. Eric is confused.

He said he liked you a lot, but he also says that after your date, you haven't called him back. Yeah, no, I haven't. He also said that you only drank half a glass of wine at dinner, which in my world, that usually means that you wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. Yeah, he was, well, he was interesting. Wait, is that a positive or a negative interesting? Questionable. Questionable.

Can you describe from your side of things what it was like? I don't know. He kept doing this thing, making sound effects. That was the first red flag. We noticed that about him. He tends to talk in sound effects quite a bit.

We're like, so boom, I was sitting there and then bam, you know? Right. I guess the one that stood out was he ordered pasta and then when it came, he was like, he was like, bada boom, that's the pasta bow. That sounds fun, actually. That's the pasta bow. That sounds fun, actually. That's the pasta bow. Wait, was that embarrassing? On a date with Mario Brothers. Was that embarrassing for you?

Not at first. It was just kind of like, oh, energy. But then the more that he drank, which, like, I'm not against drinking. It's not like that. It just, like, intensified by, like, a thousand percent. So it went from, like, funny and amusing to obnoxious? Yeah. He starts asking about, like, turn-ons and turn-offs.

That's always a good first date topic. Yeah. Hey, so. I feel like that's pretty normal, though, for a first date, right? What turns you on? Like, or like in a person or like. Oh, like likes and dislikes. Yeah.

Well, you say turn on. That's all I can think of. Like, hey, so real quick, let's talk about what gets you going. They were talking about what you expect in a significant other or what you look for in a date. So we're talking about like turn on, turn off. Like what are you looking for? What's your life? Whatever.

About life kind of in general. And he got really serious and he's like, I got to tell you something. And I was like, yeah, what's up? And he's like, honestly, if she wasn't my biological sister, my sister would be my ideal woman. Oh, ick. I mean, I guess at least he drew the line. No, Steve. I do not feel the same way as you do about that.

What did you say? Well, I didn't really say anything, and he could see I was shocked. So then he, like, took out his phone and started showing me pictures to justify what he said. Wait, hold up. So he was justifying it by showing you physical attributes of her? Like, I was going to give him the benefit of the doubt, like, oh, maybe he just thinks his sister's an awesome person. No, I think it's mainly physical. Oh, wow. Thank you. an awesome person no i think it's mainly physical oh wow it was really really really uncomfortable

i don't think he knew that that upset you though or that you thought that was weird because he didn't bring that up to us at all or he doesn't remember he was drunk yeah so that is the long story of why i have not contacted him again. Right. Okay. Well, he's been waiting for your phone call. Probably talks to his sister every day. They probably talk all the time.

But he's been waiting for your phone call. And I do have to let you know that he's actually on the other line listening to this conversation and wants to talk to you. He wants to talk to me? Yeah. Yeah, I think maybe he wishes you were his sister, but he still wants to talk to you. Do I have to? Yes, please talk to me? Yeah. Yeah, I think maybe he wishes you were his sister, but he still wants to talk to you. Do I have to? Yes. Please talk to me. Come on, it's Eric.

How are you, kid? How are you? I think you know how she is. I'm fine. How are you? I'm good. I don't see what the problem is, though. I mean, my sister's very good looking, just like you are. That was what I was trying to get across.

You saw the picture. She's got a great figure. Oh, my God. And I was trying to say, you're a lot like my sister. You've got a really nice figure, like she does, and pretty. And I don't want to date my sister, you know when i look at you i think of her i mean you know what i'm saying that made it worse what are you doing dude oh my god but in a good way there's nothing i'm sorry there's nothing good about that we were going down a list of like

turn-ons and turn-offs and what we like, and that was the first thing you brought up. That's not okay. If I would have said that about my brother, you would have equally have been as disgusted as I was. That's not okay. If your brother was good-looking and hot, I would have liked to have seen pictures of him, too, if you were comparing him. I mean, it's a compliment.

Oh, I don't, it's a compliment. Oh, I don't think it is a compliment. I think there's something wrong with your mind, if that's what you think it is. But that's why I said, if we weren't related, that just cancels it all. No, it doesn't cancel it. Once you say your sister's sexy, you've always said your sister's sexy, no matter what. And you, and you, does your sister? Now, wait a second. I'll objectively say my sister is hot.

Is that wrong? Well, yeah, it is. When you're looking to hook up with somebody and thinking of your sister, it's wrong. Well, I wouldn't be, like, thinking, thinking of her. It's just, you know. Does your sister know you find her this attractive? I tell her that she's gorgeous every day. It doesn't bother her.

She enjoys it. That is a close family. Well, there's seven of us. I got three sisters. She happens to be the hottest. Oh, man. Your other sister. Is that weird to just tell somebody that they're really good

looking even though we're related? It's like a distance. I'm looking over there. There she hot you know hot there she is right across the dinner table on thanksgiving day hot as always look i don't want to touch my sister i don't want to touch her body because we're related but i'd like to touch a body like hers like you're just making it worse, Eric. Is there something wrong with honesty? There's something wrong with being physically attracted to your sister. That's just all that it comes down to.

I'm physically attracted to her likeness. Okay. And Cora, all I'm trying to say is you remind me of my sister. You're hot like my sister. That's all I'm trying to say. Oh, my God. Well, I don't want to be hot like my sister oh my god well I I don't want to be hot like your sister too late or sounds like you're already are hot like sister okay would you like to go out with Eric though on a second date we will pay for

it no really how about another date no. No, I won't talk about my sister. You don't talk about your brother. Nothing. No. You're not going to win this one, Eric. Well, I'm bummed out, but I'm going to say, Cora, you were really cool, but you're making a big mistake and you're missing out on one big old Italian, honey. Wow. Yeah, I think I'll be all right. Well, Eric, what are you doing with the rest of your day? I know it's going to be a tough day for you that you got turned down.

I don't know. Whatever. I'll be fine. Okay. Well, hopefully maybe you can give your sister a call to talk to you about it. Have you got dinner plans later with the family? Yeah, very funny. I get what you're saying, but you guys don't realize my sister is hot.

Maybe I'll send you a picture. Email it in. It's so weird. Broken Jubal in the morning. A text in at 78592 says, I bet my sister is hotter. It's Broken Jubal in the morning. And a lot of text messages also calling the guy from today's second date update, a creep. His name is Eric, and he wanted to call Cora.

They went out on a date. The reason she wasn't calling back, though, was because he kept pointing out how she reminded him of his sister. And he kept talking about how hot his sister is. Not just saying, like, well, my sister's really beautiful. Like, showing pictures and saying, look at her body. She's got a great body. It's one thing to be like, oh, I love my sister. And it's another thing to be like, I love my sister.

Just using the word hot for any family member isn't appropriate. I talk about it. You say like, you know, my sister's really attractive. Might be better. She's so pretty, you know, like. Or she's beautiful. There you go. Right.

Yeah, like super sexy. I used to get really excited when I would walk in on her in the shower. That's a little too much. And it was too much for Cora. She did not want to go on a second date with Eric. And everybody texting in at 78592, except for that one person who wants to have a competition with him

on whose sister is hotter, says that you shouldn't discuss your sister's hot body on a date. And I can guarantee you, Eric has accidentally said his sister's name in bed. Oh, God, how awkward. I'm just saying, he is not thinking about who he's with when he's doing the deed.

No, he's only thinking about one person, and that's his sister, who he said is okay with it, which makes it even weirder. And people are like, dude, you guys are giving him a hard time because a lot of guys like to go out for girls that are like their mom. But no one calls their mom hot. It's all about how you describe her. Like your mom in the sense that she's really kind or maybe she's really smart or she's really motivated or she makes you feel good about yourself.

Yeah. Yeah. Not the way it affects your physical body. My mom does hella squats. She's got back the days. Oh, my God. If I could just find somebody with a booty like Mama, oh, it'd be great.

Remember, if you want to do a second day update, all you have to do is email the show, and we will call the person who didn't call you back. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show

is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors it's your

perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now plus you'll get special content just for podcast listeners like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines listen on the iheart radio Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Tomer Cohen, LinkedIn's Chief Product Officer. If you're just as curious as I am about the way things are built, then tune into my podcast, Building One. I speak with some of the best product builders out there. I've always been inspired by frustration. It came back to my own personal pinpoint. So we had to go out to farmers and convince them.

Following that curiosity is a superpower. You have to be obsessed with the human condition. Listen to Building One on the iHeartRadio app, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts.