Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update PODCAST: Pirates Booty

Episode Date: March 20, 2020

There's one word to describe this second date update...PIRATES. Not "Yo Ho Ho" pirates, but something much worse, that you do NOT want to come across on dating apps. Listen to the podcast so you can avoid them too!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hi, I'm Ed Zitron, host of the Better Offline podcast. And this January, we're going to go on the road to beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada, to cover the Consumer Electronics Show, tech's biggest conference. Better Offline CES coverage won't be the usual rundown of the hottest gadgets or biggest trends, but an unvarnished look at what the tech industry plans to sell or do to you in 2025.

I'll be joined by David Roth of Defector and the writer Edward Ongueso Jr. With guest appearances from Behind the Bastards Robert Evans, It Could Happen Here's Gare Davis, and a few surprise guests throughout the show. Listen to Better Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts from. Bread and butter wines pair with the life moments you love. Offering a rich and jammy Cabernet Sauvignon, a silky smooth Pinot Noir, and a buttery Chardonnay. Bread and butter wines are delicious. Find bread and butter wines in your favorite store. Moving 92.5.

Ruck and Jubels Second Date Update The guy on the phone for a second date update today thinks that his date was ruined by pirates. What? This is the most awesome start of any second date we've ever had. You know, it doesn't happen often, but every once

in a while, pirates will come in and just ruin a date. Those guys are jerks. They're always doing things like that. No! His name is Paul, not the pirate, the guy that's date was ruined. Oh, okay. No, it wasn't some pirate named Paul that showed up. And his email said that pirates came up, and he thinks that's what ruined his date.

Paul, what's up? Hey, how are you? Is this like some figure of speech we don't understand? Or were you in Somalia? It's right in between. Right in between. Okay, so before we find out how pirates ruined your date, who's the girl that you went out with?

What's her name? Vicky. Vicky. And where did you meet Vicky? On the high seas? No, I met her on this new app, Bumble. Have you guys heard of it? Yeah, that's not new, Paul.

It's been around for a little bit. It's kind of like The Thing right now, though. Really? Yeah. Oh, well, I thought it was like the cool new thing. It is cool. I mean, I think it is. Kind of, but it's been around for a while.

It's the one where the ladies choose the dudes. Okay, yeah. So you guys have heard of it. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So your friends told you to try Bumble, and that's where you met her. Yeah, so we matched on Bumble, chatted a little bit, and thought I would take her out for some drinks, and she said yes.

Now, was this your first ever online dating experience? No, I've tried Tinder before. Went on a couple unsuccessful dates. And I tried Craigslist one time, and that definitely wasn't the... I don't know why you thought that would work. That's where you could probably find a real-life pirate. Tell us about the pirates. What does that mean?

You said you think your date was ruined by pirates? Okay, so here's the thing. I took her out to get some drinks, and I know that for me it takes about two to three drinks to really loosen up and get good at conversation. Okay. So first drink, things were still kind of stiff. Second drink, things started to get better.

And then, by the third drink, I think I may have gone too far. Why? Because, for some reason, pirates came up. Like, in conversation, or they sauntered up to your table? In conversation. Okay. Okay. And I thought it would be funny to talk in a pirate voice.

Like, are matey the seven seas be, you know, stuff like that. Well, it's hard. Okay. Paul, to your defense, it's hard not to do that when anyone brings up pirates. We all want to say something about booty and walking the plank and the whole thing. Yeah, it's hard. Okay, Paul, to your defense, it's hard not to do that when anyone brings up pirates. We all want to say something about booty and walking the plank and the whole thing. Yeah, it's true. Why do you think that ruined your date? Well, it was fine at first, but I got stuck in the pirate voice for not exaggerating five to ten straight minutes. Oh, that's a lot of...

It sounds like a condition where you literally just got stuck and couldn't get out of it. Yeah, it really felt like a medical condition. Could you tell that she was like, okay, joke over at a certain point? Or did you just keep going and you weren't aware of that? I definitely just kept going. And at this point, she was barely even responding i mean i'm sure she was just trying to think of ways to escape the situation god you needed help escaping the pirate voice more like it you should have slipped her a note that said help me i've been captured if i could have, I would have. But that was the problem was I just kept

going. How quickly did your date end after you got a case of the pirates? Well, eventually I was able to get back to my normal voice. I dropped the whole pirate thing and sincerely apologized

for going on for too long. She accepted my apology and we moved on and had a pretty good conversation after that. She didn't bolt right after the pirate, so that's a good sign. No, she didn't bolt. Maybe just out of courtesy so it wouldn't be very obvious. So how did everything end with her then? So things were wrapping up and she said she needed to get out of here,

and she said that her friend was coming to pick her up. So I waited, and I didn't want to, you know, try to kiss her in front of her friend and after everything. That's not a pirate move. A pirate would have grabbed her right in front of her friend and made out with her. Well, the thing is, I'm not actually a pirate. If I was, I probably would have definitely gotten a second date.

It all makes more sense now that he established that. And you've heard nothing back from her at all? No. Okay. Well, we'll play a song, come back, call her, and get your second date update if you ask for your second date update in a pirate voice. Oh, gosh. Let's hear it, Paul.

Give me a second date update, matey. Oh, my God. All right. Perfect. We'll do it right after this. Moving 92.5 Brooke and Jubal in the Morning. Second Date Update.

I told myself I wouldn't do it, but fortunately, I can't help it. Arrgh! Welcome back to Second Date Update, where Pirate Paul is on the phone. Will he be getting a date or walking the plank?

Arrgh. All right, got it out of my system. You know that everyone in the car right now just did the same argh. I know, they did. It's so hard not to. Right? Right in the middle of a second date update, and Paul is on the phone. The reason for the pirate theme is because Paul thinks that his pirate impersonation killed his chances at a second date.

He went out with a girl named Vicky who he met on Bumble. They were hanging out and then they got on the subject of pirates. And then he started talking like a pirate. And then, to use his words, got stuck in pirate mode. And couldn't stop. And went on for like 10 minutes. And he feels like that joke just went way too far. And she might think he's kind of a weirdo.

You ready to go, Paul? Ready to call her? Yeah, absolutely. Let's go. And you're sure you can stay away from Pirate Paul, right? I'm trying to stay out of the pirate voice. Just don't call her a wench, okay? Well, if I enter pirate mode, who knows what will happen. You're not in control at that point. All right, I'm going to dial her phone number right now

and see if we can figure out why she's not calling you back, okay? Okay. Okay. Hello? Can I speak to Vicki, please? This is Vicki. Hey, Vicki. How are you? This is Jubal from Brook and Jubal in the morning.

Hi. Hi. Why are you calling me? I just wanted to ask you a couple questions about some stuff. Hey, Vicky. How did you get my number? You know, from someone. Okay, what is going on?

This is Jubal from Brook and Jubal in the Morning. It's a radio show. I know it's a radio show, but why are you calling me? You recently went out with a dude who liked you a lot, and now you're not calling him back, so he sent us an email asking if we could get you on the phone to figure out what happened. His name's Paul.

Okay. Oh, you remember Paul. I's Paul. Okay. Oh, you remember Paul. I remember Paul. Yeah. He told us about your date and how he kept talking in pirate. He thinks that might have turned you off. Yeah. It was really weird.

He was really normal at first. And then, like, I don't even remember how we got into the conversation about pirates but we started talking about pirates and then he wouldn't stop talking in a pirate voice and it went on for like what seemed like forever he did tell us that and he knows that he kind of screwed up by doing that. Yeah, I mean, he kept making these jokes. He kept saying, like, something, something, poop deck. Like, he just kept saying poop deck. I don't know. I guess he thought it was funny, but it was just really weird.

Like, it reached the point where it wasn't funny, and then he kept going for a really long time after that. So you, I mean, after Pirate Voice, you weren't attracted to him anymore? I mean, it was cute at first, and then it just got really weird. Yeah. And then he started talking to me about other dates he was going to go on later in the week. Like, he switched up to, like, we were friends or something. Wait, hold on. Rewind just a little bit.

You said he was talking about dates he was going on later in the week? Yeah. So like we matched on Bumble and he was talking about other people that he matched with and then was just like casually bringing up like, oh yeah, on Wednesday I'm going to go out with this person. Like, should I bring her flowers? Like, what would you suggest that I do that is I mean was it a weird attempt to bond with you over both doing the dating app I'm just trying to figure out why

someone would ever bring that up yeah I don't know I mean it was really weird and like I didn't really know him so it's not like I was getting like crazy jealous or something because this was our first date. But that just seems like such a weird kind of really rude thing to do if you're on a date with someone. Yeah, that should usually be common sense. But if you're also going to go talk like a pirate for 10 minutes, you might not understand. That's not exactly what you do on a date. Good point. That's so weird, though. I mean, if someone did that to me, I would read it as they weren't interested in me and that they were trying to friend zone me.

Right. Which, had he not done the pirate voice, maybe I would have immediately gone to that assumption. But I think I just felt like he didn't understand how dates are supposed to go. I think you are astute. How did you react, by the way, when he was telling you about these other girls? So I told him my opinion on whatever he brought up, like, yeah, sure. I'm sure she'd like it if you brought her daisies. I don't know. You gave him solid dating advice. Yeah, I guess. Sure. Yeah. I mean, now I'm like, I probably should have just told him off.

Well, you know, you can tell him off because he's on the other line listening and wants to talk to you. He's what? He's listening to this conversation and wants to talk to you. Hey, Vicky. Oh, my God. What? What is wrong with you? Why would you do this? I just wanted to see what's up and thought that this would be a funny way to get your attention. Funny way?

Hi. Did you think that talking about other girls on our date was making my attention? Well, we've only been on one date, so why is it a problem if I brought up other girls? What? What? No, Paul, no. It's still a date. Why would you?

No matter what, it doesn't matter how long, you're still going on a date with somebody. You don't bring up other dates usually. I don't know. It kind of sounds like she's a little bit jealous. What? What are you talking about, Paul? You lost your mind. Dude. It's not like we're exclusive or anything.

I'm allowed to see other people, and you should your mind. Dude. It's not like we're exclusive or anything. I'm allowed to see other people, and you should be okay with that. Yeah, Paul, that's fine. That's what dating is. But I feel like it's kind of an unsaid rule that you don't ask the other people you're dating about advice for other dates. Right? It's just a question. You don't need to be, like, scared of a question. I'm not scared of a question. I don't need to be, like, scared of a question. I'm not scared of a question.

I don't freaking care if you're dating other people. That's fine, but I don't want to give you advice about it. Like, that just makes me feel like I'm completely not important. I don't know. You know, your tone and everything, you sound a little bit jealous. Paul, I'm not jealous. I just think it's freaking insane that you would bring up other girls while you're on a date with me like why are you asking me for

dating advice don't you have friends to help you with that like what who would be a better person to ask for dating advice than the person i'm currently on a date with that's in a weird way paul that's a good point but no you're not point, but no, you're not supposed to do that. No, you're not supposed to do that. Why else would you care? Oh, my God. I don't care, Paul. I just don't want to go on any more dates with you because this is not how I want to date somebody.

I don't want to give you advice on other people. Well, maybe if you continue dating me, you'd be the only person I went on dates with and that'd be pretty cool. Really out of all the girls, I like you the best. Wow. I am so flattered. Thank you. I feel really special. You're welcome. Oh, my God. Honestly, Paul, just go have fun with the billion other dates you have this week. I really don't care. It's not a billion. It's three. Hey, Vicky, would you like to be date number four this week and go out with Paul one more time? We'll pay for

it. No, 1000%. No, I don't want to date with myself. Yeah, it's really shocking. Come on, Vicky. We had so much fun. Maybe the first three minutes and not even to mention the fricking talking like a pirate for 10 minutes like you were frozen there? I'm stuck. I couldn't help myself. He was stuck. He was stuck in pirate, Vicki. Come on, one more date. You don't blame him.

No. Are you sure you won't go out with me? Yes. No, Paul, I'm not going to go out with you matey Cause you're weird Come on Text in at 78592 Says it sounds like the guy in today's second date update Has never been out with anybody In his life before

And yeah it did kind of sound like that If you missed today's second date update This dude named Paul wanted to call Vicky he wasn't sure why he wasn't getting a call back. He thought maybe it was because he slipped into pirate and couldn't get out of it. Apparently during their first date, he wouldn't stop talking like a pirate and joking around like a pirate the whole time. Which is funny. And we're like, dude, why didn't you just drop it after the first couple times?

He's like, I couldn't get out of it. I was stuck in pirate. I've never been stuck in pirate before, but he was. And when we got her on the phone and found out the reason, one is because of the pirate, for sure. That was weird to her. But then also he kept talking about all these other dates that he was going on, clearly trying to be like, you know, I got a lot of options.

And that's not very impressive to go out on a date with somebody and then talk about all the other dates you have lined up. He wanted advice from her. Yeah, that's terrible. It is kind of sad that he can get lots of date options, and there's people, normal people, who can't even find one. Yeah, people text that in too. Like, what is going on in this world?

So yeah, he's out on the date being like, oh, I got this hot date lined up for Thursday. She says that she likes to hike and stuff. Should I go hiking? What do you think I should do with her? Just ask me advice. Text in at 7859 who says,

I just hated the guy because he had the worst pirate voice ever. It did. I agree. It wasn't convincing or good at all. But that's fun.

That's a fun part about accents and doing impressions. Yeah, you say that because you're not good at those. Yeah, you don't have to be good to do an impression. Yeah, you can just,

it's fun. So they decided to not go out again, but I'm guessing for Paul it's okay because apparently he's got options just lined up. Hey, he's got dates for days. That's what it sounds like to me. I honestly

think, though, that he was making up these other dates. I don't think so. Some guys try to impress girls and do stuff like that. I don't think he has a bunch of dates lined up. No, I think that that's what internet dating has done to everybody. It's made people have options that probably shouldn't always have that many options. Really, all you have to do is have an okay picture

and some interests, and you can find dates online. So he probably did have a lot of dates up. He's probably also not going to be getting a lot of calls back from those dates. They're all first dates. I mean, let's be honest. We're not like talking, he's got a lot of calls back from those dates. They're all first dates. I mean, let's be honest.

We're not like talking he's got a lot of relationships on the line right now. I'm assuming Paul will be back for more second date updates. Actually, it's only going to be Paul now in second date updates. He's like, another one didn't call me back. I don't know why. We'll call the Paul update. Yeah. We're so done with New Year, New You.

This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be

a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How To Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Ed Zittron, host of the Better Offline podcast.

And this January, we're going to go on the road to beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada, to cover the Consumer Electronics Show, tech's biggest conference. Better Offline CES coverage won't be the usual rundown of the hottest gadgets or biggest trends, but an unvarnished look at what the tech industry plans to sell or do to you in 2025. I'll be joined by David Roth at Defector and the writer Edward Ongueso Jr. With guest appearances from Behind the Bastards' Robert Evans, It Could Happen Here's Gare Davis, and a few surprise guests throughout the show. Listen to Better Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts from.