Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update PODCAST: Safety First

Episode Date: June 21, 2019

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You'll hear from Bloomberg journalists like Matt Levine. A lot of this meme stock stuff is, I think, embarrassing to the SEC. Follow The Big Take podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. People, my people, what's up? This is Questlove. Man, I cannot believe we're already wrapping up another season of Questlove Supreme.

Man, we've got some amazing guests lined up to close out the season, but you know, I don't want any of you guys to miss all the incredible conversations we've had so far. I mean, we talked to A. But, you know, I don't want any of you guys to miss all the incredible conversations we've had so far. I mean, we talked to A. Marie, Johnny Marr, Eve,

Jonathan Schechter, Billy Porter, and so many more. Look, if you haven't heard these episodes yet, hey, now's your chance. You gotta check them out. Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The guy on the phone for a second date update today said in his email that he's, quote, a genuinely nice guy. So I believe him. Oh, that's good. His name is George, and George is a genuinely nice guy. If it's in writing, I know it's true. So, George, congratulations on being such a nice dude.

Well, thank you. I appreciate it. No problem. He does sound lovely. See? Yeah. You're likable already, George. Thank you.

George, if you're such a genuinely nice guy, why do you have to do a second date update? Well, I never thought I would have to, I guess. But I figure, you know, we have the opportunity to figure it out. Is it the nice guys always finish last type scenario? That's kind of how it feels, to be honest, because I think it was a great date and nothing seemed to have come from it. So I don't know. So tell us a little bit about her. What's her name? Our name's Tiffany. I found her on a dating website, which first off, by the way, I'm not a guy who goes on dating websites. You know, I was actually pretty apprehensive about the whole stuff. Sure. That's what everybody always says.

Doesn't everybody's profile on dating websites say, I'm new to this? It seems like that's the common thread. That's true for me. That is true. And remember, you've got to believe George's word always. Yeah, he's a nice guy. He's a nice guy. So anyway, I was scrolling through profiles, and a lot of them, you know, they seem kind of disingenuous. But then when I found Tiffany's, I don't know, it was just like one of those feelings

you get, you know? And she was like outdoorsy, which I love that. But I think the biggest draw was like, she had this beautiful blonde hair. I mean, it's like, oh, I mean, it's like silky and smooth. All right. Now I think I know what kind of feelings you were getting. At first I was thinking it was like something in your heart, but now I know it's somewhere else. No, hey, I'm just a guy that likes a girl with a lot of hair, you know, and she's got flowing, beautiful hair. I have never heard a man say that before.

No, I'm just saying, like, I looked at it, and it looked like, you know, like a hair model of some sort of shampoo or something. So you're not a boob guy, you're not a butt guy, you're a hair guy. I mean, hey, you know, hygiene's very important to me. Dude, I do not want to sit next to him during a shampoo commercial on TV. George loves me some hair, that's all. Did you just really say that in third person?

No shame in what you like. So you loved her hair. Tell us about your date when you guys actually went out. Well, yeah, we've been talking for two months, you know, and I was very apprehensive about like coming on too strong. I, you know, I've read articles about like creepy guys taking girls out and stuff. So when we went on this first date, safety was really like, that's the word.

Like I was priority. Like I told her, I'm not going to take you to a picnic. I'm not going to take you to the park because of you know like wooded areas okay but george you understand that most women if they're going to get a message from a guy that lists all the creepy places they're not going to take you it comes off as really creepy yeah no no no it's just so she knows that I'm on the same board. Did you literally say to her, don't worry, I won't take you near any wooded areas? Yes. Oh, my God.

And she still went out with you? Great. Yes. That's not the problem, guys. Are you sure? So I took her to downtown where there's a lot of people. And a lot of lights. Yeah.

Was it a date? It was during the day. Yeah. Daytime date. Okay. Did she seem to enjoy herself? Yeah. We had a great time.

And then I was like, do you want to call it, you know, quit? And she's like, no, let's go get a drink. So I'm like, okay. You know, we're, that's step two. We're getting there. You took her to a place to get drinks and only bottles of water that were already closed that she could open herself. Yeah. Okay.

I mean, everything she was getting directly from the bar pit. Okay. So she was safe with you, George. Safe as date ever. Yeah, exactly. I wanted her to feel that way. Okay. But then, you know, I'm talking to my coworkers at work and I tell them, you know, this next part and they're like, that's too far.

Uh-oh. Okay. So what I did was when we sat down and we were talking about, you know, what we do to stay fit and everything. And then I, you know, just told her like, just so you know, I'm, I'm tested on everything. Wait, slow down. You tested on what? You know, all like, you know, I'm up to date with shots and vaccinations and, you know, I'm clean STD-wise.

So you just told her that or were you having a conversation where that worked? Like we were talking about like working out and stuff, like staying fit. So you went... I think it's pretty relevant. You made the leap from fitness to STD? Yeah, because it's all like health. Okay. And how did she react when you told her that?

Well, first off, I think she was like a little skeptical to me. So I was like, oh, she doesn't believe me. So I was like, no, no, no. I had it in my bag. I didn't plan it, but I did have my results because I had just done it like a week ago in my bag. Okay. You don't date a lot. Do you date a lot, George? I mean, where do you find women? You know what I mean? So I'm bag. Okay. You don't date a lot. Do you date a lot, George?

I mean, where do you find women? You know what I mean? So I'm trying. Online. But I'm just asking the question because to bring your, well, first of all, it sounds like you got an STD test leading up to the date. Yeah. Leading up to the date, but it wasn't because I was going to have a date.

Okay. Okay. I was thinking you did it specifically because you were going out with a woman and you wanted to get tested. Well, I figured eventually I would have a date, but it wasn't because I was going to have a date. Okay. Okay. I was thinking you did it specifically because you were going out with a woman and you wanted to get tested. Well, I figured eventually I would have a date. Okay. Okay. The thing is, it's like sometimes, you know, I'm told that can happen pretty quickly.

You know, you go one into the next and I don't want to ruin the mood. Right. You just, you want to be prepared in case dinner or drinks leads to something else. Yeah. And I want her to feel safe. Okay. Did to feel safe. Okay. Did she feel safe? Well, the thing was, after I told her,

she said that she had to get going for a tennis lesson. Yeah. Oh, yeah. She had one of those random tennis lessons pop up in the middle of the day. Either that or she was still on my train of thought about being health conscious and stuff and she remembered and it just popped into her head. So what happened before she split for

her tennis lesson? How'd you guys end things? Well, we shook hands like a gentleman would do and she left pretty quick after that and I haven't heard from her and her account is still active so I think she's getting my messages. I don't know.

How many messages have you tried to send her? I mean, I don't know. I guess like four at this point. Alright, well, we'll play a song. We'll come back and we'll call her and get your second date update, okay? That'd be great. Thank you, guys. Hang on, man. Be safe. Always, man. Always safe over here.

George. Moving 92.5. Brooke and Jubal in the Morning. Second date update. Sometimes the more you say something, the more skeptical people will be of you. Like, for example, if I go to a crowded department store this weekend, strip down all clothes. Raised my hand and yelled, I am not a pervert! Not a pervert! You know what? Those people should believe me.

You know why? Because I said it and I said it loudly. I don't think that's how it works. And George who's on the phone with us right now for a second date update said over and over again to his date that he is not a dangerous man. So she should believe him.

He told her before they went out, don't worry, I'm not taking you to any wooded areas. Nothing like that. Not bringing my duct tape with me or anything. He also brought along his medical history to show her that he was STD free on a first date. But she didn't ask for it. Let's remember that. And of course, he said that he's a genuinely nice guy.

George, I think that your downfall was you tried to convince her a little too hard of what a good dude you are. Hey, I did all the right moves. You know, I will admit, maybe didn't need to bring up the medical history on the first date, but it's still good news.

Yeah, I mean, it is good news. Actually, that's a very good point. It might be a little strange to show her that. But yeah, it's good news as long as you're STD free. Yeah, you didn't have to have a chlamydia talk right after you showed it to her. So bonus. Right. I'm living with nothing, you know.

All right. Well, I'm going to dial her phone number right now and find out why she's not calling you back. OK? Great. Here we go. Hello? Hi, is Tiffany there? This is Tiffany.

Hey, Tiffany. How are you? Who's this? Oh, my name is Jubal. I'm sorry. Do I know you? No, probably not. My name is Jubal from Brook and Jubal in the Morning.

It's a radio show. Um, okay. Are you selling something? No, I'm not selling anything. I actually want to call you because one of our listeners asked me if I could get a hold of you. His name is George. Uh-huh. And George emailed us and said that he went out on a date with you.

Right. Right. And we do a segment on our show called The Second Date Update. But George really liked you a lot. And he would love to see if he could go out with you again. But he's wondering if he did something wrong. Well, listen, I have gone on some dates in my life. I have never met someone like George. That's a good way to say it.

That's polite. Did he come off like a serial killer, kind of? Um, the nicest one ever. The nicest serial killer ever. They always are. Hey, at least he was nice, right? It was interesting, to say the least. Oh my gosh. There's like a seed of potential in there that needs some nurturing.

So George has a seed of potential. Yes. Listen, he is incredibly selfless, very sweet, overly concerned with my safety. And he's STD free. He told us that. Yeah, I learned that on the date. Yeah, he told us about that. And he admitted that he thinks that could have been the reason that you're not calling him back.

Could have been. And there's that little seed. He kind of knows, but he doesn't, you know? Can you explain the date in your words? We heard from him a little bit about your date, but I'm just curious to hear your side of the story. Well, you know, initially it was like very oh polite and here let me get your chair and you know you guys i sneezed during the date and kindly he said bless you and then he went to go blow my nose what he went to go blow my nose and then i was like oh my god do i have like a booger hanging on my nose how embarrassing and he was like, oh my God, do I have like a booger hanging on my nose?

How embarrassing. And he was like dabbing my nose and he's like, oh good. I just didn't want any germs to spread. Cause I don't like germs and I don't want them to get on you. So it was this very awkward thing at the beginning. And then we leave the restaurant, we're walking and you know, he was walking on the sidewalk and we're about to cross the street and there was a car and it was nowhere near me and he starts yelling at the car Be careful!

You're going to hit my date! Almost like announcing, like, we're going to cross the street. Everybody stop. How embarrassing! Oh no! It was one of those things where it's like, okay, it can't get worse. Okay. It can't get worse. And it kept getting worse. And then I just wanted out at one point where we're standing, you know, waiting to cross another street. And he realizes that I'm

standing like on a grate and, and he starts lecturing me. He goes, do you know how many people die every year standing on a grate by falling through? And also slightly, I'm like, oh my God, how many? He's like, well, I don't know, but I bet the number's really high. He hadn't even researched this. I was like, I guarantee people fall through those things all the time on city streets. I was like the most paranoid mom ever on a date with you. And I just, I was like, make it stop. I can't, I can't. Did you ever address it with him?

No, no, no. I'm not a charity corporation. I don't take care of people. I was on a date. I'm not here to fix people. I got my own stuff. Okay. I don't think that I need to be the person

to tell him all that. Oh, okay. Interesting. Hey, Tiffany. This is George. Wow. George, hold on one second. I think I need to let Tiffany know what's going on. Tiffany, George is on the other line listening and wants to talk to you. He was supposed to wait for a second.

George! I'm just a little confused here because I've been listening to this whole thing where you thought you might die if anything the whole date was to make you feel like you would live you know for a long time the point of dating me is to make sure you know you can live for a long time yeah i don't understand this is the nicest comments. I mean, it's being, yeah, well, you got the nice part right, okay? But the serial killer stuff, and that car was reckless, okay? Okay.

He had no business being that close to you. Wait, wait, wait. What you didn't hear, listen, yes, you heard a lot of stuff I said. What you didn't hear is that there is a seed somewhere inside. Yeah, I didn't hear that. A seed of potential. You've called me't hear that. A seed of potential. You called me selfless, sweet, kind of cute. Huh?

Yeah. He was paying attention. You bet your sweet butt I was paying attention. I wrote everything down. You're actually taking notes? Yes. This is important to me. Tiffany, I've been writing everything down, and cons, and let me tell you something

The pros are winning right now Selfless, sweet, kind of cute Interesting, nice Then the serial killer part's in the con George George Oh my gosh, George You are special

People die on the great. You are really sweet. You really mean well. And that's really good about you. But maybe, maybe you just try too hard and then you lose sight of who you are. Because you're trying to be this super dating hero that doesn't exist. And then you end up becoming nothing but scary things. Well, I'm just I just want you to feel comfortable. And I guess I didn't. I did it too much. Yeah, I did it too much. George, you're coming off as an overbearing mother who nags her child. And that's not sexy.

Yeah. Well, to me, safety is the sexiest thing in a person, I think. All right? You know, George, George. Yes? You know what? If that is what you, in your heart, believe and want, then you need to find yourself some girl who's looking for that. There's a girl out there somewhere looking for the Brad Pitt of safety, and you're her guy.

And you guys are going to rock. You're going to be awesome. Where do you think I can find her? I do not know. Tiffany, would you like to go out on a second date with George? We'll pay for it. It doesn't have to be a date date. You can just get together and maybe help him find a girl that's into safety.

I'm down. Come on, Tiffany. I mean, I know you don't want a charity case, but he needs help, man. He's likable at least. Listen, baby steps. I will let him email me for dating advice. And we could start there. I can let him email me for dating advice and we could start there. I can get your

personal email? My work email. There you go, George. Okay, that sounds pretty good. So you didn't get a second date out of the whole thing. But we're playing the long play here. Long play. Yeah, long play. Okay.

Wait, wait, wait. George, let me be clear. This is not a long play on a Long play. Yeah, long play. Okay. Well, wait, wait, wait. George, let me be clear. This is not a long play on a second date. This is dating advice. A dating coach. I'm going to help you. No, no, no. I get it. I get it. So we'll go on a second date. No.

George, I'm telling you right now, if you ask me out on a date, the answer is no. But if you need advice, I'm telling you right now, if you ask me out on a date, the answer is no. But if you need advice, I'm here for you. No, no, no, totally, totally, totally. I'm just saying, like, if we were to, like, do a mock date, you know.

He's trying everything. He's trying, yeah, let's go out and role play sometime and see how it works. George. I'm just saying, it could be nice, you know, in the moment. Smoother than I expected. George, I don't think you're going to get a second date out of this but you did

strike up a friendship it sounds like with Tiffany and maybe she can help you in the dating world. I'm pushing it too. You've made contact with Tiffany and she's agreed to help you out. Thank you, Jubal. I appreciate it, man. You're welcome.

Oh, my God. This is great. All right. You're getting a great, you know, friendship. Broken Jubal in the morning. Text in at 78592 that says,

I think safety is sexy, too. Give me George's number. Talking about today's second date update, if you missed it, this dude, George, tried really hard to prove that he was

a genuine good guy on his first date, but he might have taken things a little too far. He freaked out when the girl he was out with, named Tiffany, got a little too close to the curb while they were cars driving by. He even lectured her about the dangers of standing on grates in the middle of the street, saying that lots of people probably die every year from falling through those

grates, and she should be more careful. Oh, come on. She thought it was just a little bit weird, but he said he just wanted Tiffany to feel safe and comfortable because safety more careful. Oh, come on. She thought it was just a little bit weird, but he said he just wanted Tiffany to feel safe and comfortable because safety is sexy. Oh, yeah. I think he's the only one that says that. Yeah, and he's the guy who's like, you try to role play with him, he literally puts on safety

uniform, like a construction outfit. In the end, she said it was too weird and didn't want to go out with George anymore. He's just too safe for her. You know? It's like the hall monitor didn't get the girl. Surprise, surprise. Remember, if you want to do a second date update, all you have to do is email the show,

and we will call the person who didn't call you back. Young Jeffrey's Song of the Week is coming up at 8, 10. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now plus you'll get special content just for podcast listeners like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top

headlines listen on the iheart radio appio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The forces shaping markets and the economy are often hiding behind a blur of numbers. So that's why we created The Big Take from Bloomberg Podcasts, to give you the context you need to make sense of it all. Every day in just 15 minutes, we dive into one global business story that matters. You'll hear from Bloomberg journalists like Matt Levine. A lot of this meme stock stuff is, I think, embarrassing to the SEC. Follow The Big Take podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast up? This is Questlove. Man, I cannot believe we're already wrapping up another season of Questlove Supreme. Man, we've got some amazing guests lined up to close out the season.

But, you know, I don't want any of you guys to miss all the incredible conversations we've had so far. I mean, we talked to A. Marie, Johnny Marr, Eve, Jonathan Schechter, Billy Porter, and so many more. Look, if you haven't heard these episodes yet, hey, now's your chance. You've got to check them out. Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.