Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update PODCAST: Second Date ALL-STARS (Guru & "Crazy Sarah")

Episode Date: June 24, 2013

Jubal actually set up two of our Second Date ALL-STARS (Guru & "Crazy Sarah) on a date... It ends up with someone actually needing medical attention! Find out what happened on their "romantic" evening PODCAST. (Image Courtesy: ZakVTA. Creative Commons)See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hi, I'm Ed Zitron, host of the Better Offline podcast. And this January, we're going to go on the road to beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada, to cover the Consumer Electronics Show, tech's biggest conference. Better Offline CES coverage won't be the usual rundown of the hottest gadgets or biggest trends, but an unvarnished look at what the tech industry plans to sell or do to you by the IHOP Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts from. I cannot tell you guys how excited I am

to finally get this second date update done. Really? Yeah. You're rarely excited, especially about relationships. Probably one of the worst or best ideas I've ever had. Oh, I'm so confused. Do we know this person? Yes. You know both of these people. Oh, no way.

I was able to set up a date between two of the best second daters of all time. Yes! It took so much work. It was not easy. You guys remember Crazy Sarah? The anger management chick? Yeah.

Yes! We finally made good with her, and we sent her out on a date with none other than Guru. Yes! Guru's on the phone right now. What's up, buddy? Hey, what's going on, guys? Not much. I was getting your voice, man.

I miss you guys. Guru, you're so popular. We have people texting the show all the time saying they've seen you at places. Somebody said they ran into you at the aquarium the other day. Were you out there? I'm there at the aquarium a lot. Really? I believe that, Guru.

I do caricatures, but I change it up a little bit. A lot of people, anybody can do caricatures, But what I do is when people come up to the aquarium, I have them point out a fish they like. And then I do a caricature of them that looks like that fish. I make them look like the fish. Like their head on the body of the fish. Well, no, it's like their head has a fish head. Yeah. It's smart.

Are you getting a lot of business down there at the aquarium, Guru? Yeah, it gets a lot of attention. Okay. I bet it does. How'd you like Sarah, though, when we sent you out, Guru? Guru's pretty excited. I mean, Sarah could be the firework to Guru's Fourth of July. Oh.

I mean, I got good feelings about this. Guru, like I told you when I wanted to set you up with her, I think that you're the kind of calming influence that Sarah needs in her life because she gets angry, and you said you think you could handle that. Oh, I... Well, Guru could handle that. All right. Well, Guru can handle anything. How many curveballs has life thrown you, Guru? Curveballs?

I lost count a long time ago. The parking lot of my life is littered with home runs all over the place, and people say they're curveballs, but they're not for me. Tell us about the date with Sarah, man. Well, I tell you what we did. What I took her to was the Tropical Butterfly House at the Seattle Center. Yeah, totally tell you what we did when I took her to was the, uh, the, the, the tropical butterfly house, you know, at the Seattle center. Yeah, totally. That's awesome. It is incredible. Yeah. I mean, you wrote everything you ever wanted to know about butterflies. Absolutely. You know,

the one thing it doesn't tell you is how is what, what the word butterfly. Yeah, I don't. Yeah, that's a good point, guru. Okay. So Guru, on the date, when you're in the butterfly house, was there a chemistry between you and anger management, Sarah? Absolutely. There was chemistry the whole time. We liked the same butterflies. We had a similar experience the whole time. We were really interested in all of it, yeah.

You know we love you, but sometimes you tend to think a girl is into you when she's not really feeling you. You sure that you guys had a connection? No, I'm sure. Okay. Okay.

So Guru had the idea we took a bus down to Soto to the Costco. Ah. The first... You took a bus to Costco on the first date, huh Guru? Yeah.

How did you propose that to Sarah? Well, I just said, hey, are you hungry? You know who's got great food? And I said Costco. And Sarah said she had stuff to pick up anyway, so Guru thought another post-Guru moment, check this one away, another winner. I like it, guru.

They actually really do have delicious food. They do. Did you just walk around and get samples with her? What did you do? Got a lot of samples. And, you know, I always want to stop by and get some of the chicken bakes and some of the very, very sundaes, which are my favorites there. I don't know what your favorites are. I don't have to tell you.

Great value also. Yeah. You don't want to blow all your money on a first date and those chicken bakes are delicious. I think that's a great place to take a date, Guru. I feel like Costco could be an easy escape for her at the end. Did she try to leave or anything or did

your guys' date continue? No, it continued. So then we were walking over by the tire section, which is a little dimmer than the rest of Costco. So Guru is feeling good about things and Guru usually knows when the temperature is right. So Guru gave Sarah a little kiss. Uh-oh. Really?

But I should say Guru tried to give Sarah a little kiss, but she got a little feisty, a little fiery, and kind of pushed Guru back a little bit. Uh-oh. So she didn't want you to see... Guru might not be a butterfly, but Guru is a moth. And Guru saw that fiery response, and Guru just went straight back into it. Oh, no. So you...

Straight back. Guru, you tried to kiss her. She pushed you away. And by saying that you saw that flame and tried to get back to it like a moth, did you try to kiss her again when she said no? Yeah. It just made Guru want to roar. Yeah.

Oh, no. Hey, persistence is key, Guru. Yeah, but also no means no is still kind of a thing. And Sarah is scary. She has some serious anger problems. Winners aren't quitters. Winners are not quitters. Winners aren't quitters.

Did she lose it on you, Guru? You know, by whose standard? Not by Guru's standard. What did she say to you when you tried to kiss her a second time well she called me some names and then uh you know she thought that we should probably you know probably time to leave uh i said i wanted to leave costco which i understand not the most romantic place in the world if we're gonna take take this, you know, boom, up to the next level. Yeah, for sure. So, did you leave together? Well, she suggested, you know,

maybe that we would take separate times, but I've got a buddy who drives the, you know, the pedicabs, you know, the bike carriages down by SoCo. The bikes? You know, so I thought maybe we'd do that instead. I thought that maybe was more romantic. A bike carriage?

That's not a... Wait, Guru, slow down. Somehow you got her in a pedicab. Was there a rope involved? No, just a rope of love. My friend took us through the international district. That's not even a good part of town. We were having a nice time.

Okay. And then things took a mysterious turn. No, no. And what does that mean? She jumped out of the... Oh, my God. The cowboy was still moving.

That's dangerous. But I bet you like that, though. She's a risk taker, Guru. Oh, no, you guys. She lives right on the edge. I'll risk anything. I'll risk anything for her. I'll risk anything for love.

Guru, did you say... Nothing Guru wouldn't do. Guru, clearly she got into the cab willingly, but did you say something to her that made her jump out? It's all such a blur, because I just saw her heels flying out of the pedicab, and then she was on the ground. Her dress fluttered, and her heels flying out of the pedicab and then she was on the ground. Her dress fluttered and her heels went flying

and, you know, she looked like a butterfly. And I was saying something about us both being butterflies together and then she was gone. So she jumped out of the pedicab and out of your life. Well, not out of my life. At that moment, I said, you know i i i said you know why you know i was i was frightened by it it seemed so dramatic but i was into it whatever she was trying to do i was supporting it but then she said you know she said keep going keep going and get medical help

she injured like a wise thing to do she injured herself, Guru. Okay. That's a long time. Did you walk to the hospital? No, my friend had a flat. He got a flat. It finally held police. It just took a long time.

I'm glad I hooked you guys up, Guru. It sounds like it was another eventful day in your life. We cannot call this poor girl. Either that or we're batting down the hatches because we're about to unleash a storm. Oh, no. Best game story ever. Guru, behave badly? Should I have done something different?

No. What do you think? Yeah, no, dude. I think you did everything right. You know how it works. We're going to call her after this.

You want to try to take her out again. You had a good time. Oh, Guru had a great time. Okay. Guru knows. Guru knows when it's right. This is right.

All right. But I'm getting nervous. I'm going to put you on hold. You know the drill. About three and a half minutes. We I'm getting nervous. I'm going to put you on hold. You know the drill. About three and a half minutes. We'll come back, call her, and get your second date update. I'm starting to sweat a little bit, but it's happy sweat. Yeah.

Happy sweat. Hey, as long as it's the happy sweats, it's good, man. Hang on, okay, Guru? Yeah, okay. Okay. Moving 92.5. Brooke and Jubal in the morning. Second date update.

I'm still having trouble figuring out exactly what happened on the bike. We hooked Guru up on a date with another infamous second dater, Crazy Sarah. If you don't remember Crazy Sarah, this is a clip from the last time she was on. I like how the song Bruno Mars starts to come in at the end there. But no, she's very angry. We got a hold of both of them, ended up setting them up on a date. They went out. Guru took her to the butterfly exhibit at Seattle Center, then to Costco. On a bus.

They took a bus to Costco. To Costco. Hey, it's eco-friendly. Leave them alone. Chicken bakes. And then went on a pedicab, and apparently she jumped out of it or fell out of it. Said, go get help. And she was gone when he got back.

We're leaving out the part where he tried to kiss her. She said no. Called him some names. And he went for it again. That's right. Thank you for bringing that up. We have a half an hour time eclipse between him going to get help and actually helping her. This is a little different from most second date updates because, you know, we set them up.

She knows that we're about to call her because we said, hey, we need to get an update from you. Producer Boyd has talked to her. I've talked to her. We've calmed her down because she wasn't exactly super happy with everything. And we know she's a little fiery. Is there any one thing, Guru, that you think turns Sarah off from you? Well, I think Sarah has some fears and some doubts about things

that Guru doesn't have. And that's why we wanted to set you guys up on a date. You know, I figured you'd be the perfect balance for each other. She's a little fiery. You're a little laid back. You know, you can help calm her down and show her a different side of life.

Guru can be the stream to her tsunami. We can work this out. Yeah. There you go. I have no doubt. We can work this out. There you go. I have no doubt. We can work this out. Are you ready to call your tsunami then? Oh, God.

You just make Guru ready. All right. You just put me on the bull. Pick me up and put me on the bull and let's ride. I'm ready. Hey, you know I'll put you on my back whenever you need, Guru.

Oh, no. Ready for this? I appreciate it. Yeah, man. Guru loves you, Jewel. Hey, I love you. Well, okay. All right.

Now it's getting broke back mountain bull riding style. All loves you, Jubal. Hey, I love you. Well, okay. All right. Now it's getting broke back mountain bull riding style. All right. Remember your slogan, Guru. Winners aren't quitters. Winners are never quitters. That's right. Don't quit, Guru.

Come on. Come on. Hello? Hey, Sarah. it's Jubal. Hey. How's it going? It's okay. You doing all right since your date with Guru?

It's over, so I'm doing great. Oh, you poor thing. We just talked to Guru, and of course he told us about the date that he took you on. Apparently he took you to the butterfly exhibit. Yeah. To Costco. Oh, he admitted that. Okay. Yeah. He said you were into it. Oh, he took you to the butterfly exhibit. Yeah. To Costco. Oh, he admitted that. Okay. Yeah. He said

he were into it. Oh, God. Yeah, Sarah, can I ask what your, like, initial impression of him was? I thought he was weird. Yeah. I mean, not but it wasn't weird, like, in a way that I couldn't spend some time looking at butterflies. Guru's, like, quirky and eccentric. That's what I would say. I wouldn't call him weird. He's an interesting

character. He'd be a fun guy to hang out with. You wouldn't call him weird, but I would. Yeah, I think that that's fair. Yeah, plus the other stuff's really weird. So maybe taking a woman to a butterfly house is not weird. The other stuff's weird. How did he get you on the bus to Costco? Oh, God, how did he get me on the bus to Costco?

He said he had this great new hotspot that he thought was really unusual. Like, you know, we're helping save resources by taking a bus. I thought, cool place to eat that I've never experienced before. And I was right. I'm proud of it. I've never experienced eating at Costco before. Aren't the chicken bakes delicious, though? Not when a guy you met like an hour before asked you to eat at Lady in the Tramp Style.

Oh, my God. He asked you to eat at Chicken Bake Lady in the Tramp Style? Yes. I mean, I think I should have run then. I thought he was just making a joke. I realize now that was no joke. It was just getting weirder and weirder. He has these long monologues about paper being the future, and I don't understand what he's talking about.

I'm not getting angry, but I'm confused, and I'm strangely interested, because I've never been around someone who talks the way he does, and at the same time I'm repulsed. So you get in the pedicab? Yeah. Did you jump out of the pedicab at a certain point?

Listen, you guys, you don't know. This whole thing, it just kept escalating and getting weirder. And he stands up in the pedicab and he starts screaming, I'm the king of the world with his arms outstretched. And something just switched in me and I just jumped out.

Because the only thing I could think was, I would rather be hurt and break my leg than spend one more second with this person. Oh my. Wow. It was just, I just couldn't do it anymore. Sarah, are you okay? Sarah, are you okay?

Are you okay? Sarah, that's Guru. You know what it says? You recognize this voice? What? Oh, my God. No. No, you guys played it.

Oh, no. Oh, shoot. Sarah, can you just hear him out for a second, though? Because he really liked you, and I think he probably feels bad about the whole pedicab thing. Guru, I'm going to make sure you're okay and healthy. I think that you have all this fire, which is the most beautiful thing about you. I feel like I've looked directly into the sun now, and I've come back from that.

Look, I'm not attracted to you. You're starting my thoughts. You start Guru's sentences. That's just... You're starting my thoughts. You start guru sentences. That's chemistry. You can't buy that. But we have it together. I can't believe you would have the audacity to think I'd go out again with you after the places you took me, the way you behaved. I mean, it shows me what you think I'm worth if you take me to Costco to eat.

Did you ever think of that? It makes me feel really sh** that you would think it's honorable to take a woman to eat. Did you ever think of that? It makes me feel really that you would think it's honorable to take a woman at Costco. There's a reason that you and I have been on multiple second date updates. There's a reason we're not with someone and it's because we're special people and so I thought you would appreciate those things that are unique. And that are unique. And maybe you don't. And I can't change that. Guru can't change your nature more than Guru can change nature. That's a very poignant statement, Guru.

Guru, you keep talking in the third person. How do you do that? It's horrible. It's obnoxious. And it's crazy. Why? So you can call names and you can lash out, but Guru will still be here with open arms. There's no netting on this butterfly. There's no netting.

There's no netting. Stop. Sarah, why do you insist on having this netting around you? You're a beautiful butterfly. You should be free. I have to go. And you're so good. You have to release me from this, please.

Release me. Give this girl a break. Yeah. Give her a break. Sarah, don't you think you should have the decency at least to go out with him again? Like, listen to how much

he liked you. Decency? Really? You're putting it on me that I'm not decent if I don't go out with the man I don't want to go out with. I mean, really?

You think it's okay to pressure women like that? It's not the dark age. I'm not decent if I don't go out with a man I don't want to go out with. I mean, really? You think it's okay to pressure women like that? It's not the dark age. I'm sure. He wants all of us to be decent. No, I don't know that that's true, Guru. I want everybody to be decent. I think that's opposite, Guru.

Guru wants everyone to look at them nouns more in the ground less and to walk around and take in what's around them. Guru wants everybody to do what he wants. That's what guru f***ing wants. Guru wants a woman to shut up and go along with whatever he wants, even if it's a second date she's not interested in. So stop acting so lovable, because underneath it you're just a controlling piece of s*** like a lot of other guys.

And you just pretend you're different, but you take women to Costco, you ask them to sit spider-style on a bus. That's revolting. That's really disgusting. So f*** you, Guru, if that's even your real stupid f***ing hippie name. Oh, my God. Oh, wow. Do you feel at all guilty for setting Guru up and Sarah together?

No. This is like oil and vinegar, dude. Did you hear that passion at the end? I mean, eventually the wheels come off a little bit, but the passion is admirable. Yeah. He's unutterable. It's passion. Passion.

And Guru can recognize someone who's passionate. The wheels come off and the freaking engine falls out. Guru, did you learn anything from today's second date update? You know, it's perfect, right? Because what do they say? If you get burned, try again. Don't be scared of burns. Something, you know, there's no fire.

I think what they say is burns build character. So keep burning yourself until you get it right. I think they say don't play with matches, Guru, is what they say. Yeah. Yeah, I guess they say don't play with matches, Guru, is what they say. Yeah. Yeah, I guess they did, and I guess I lit one around a flame, and it kind of blew back in my face. But Guru keeps going out there. I'll be the water to anyone's fire any day of the week,

and I've got, you know, Guru has a little spark in him, and I think the ladies would tell you that right away, and I'll tell you that, and a lot of people, and my mom would tell you that. There's a lot of spark in Guru. I think the one thing that you need to learn is not to take women to Costco and get chicken bakes on a first date. I don't think there's a lot of women that are going to like that at all. That's like third date material. You know what I say to that? You know what I say to that? What's that? Okay. All right. All right. Love you guys. Love you. Bye, Guru. We're so done with New Year, New You.

This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too.

Be more you this year and find them on Bumble. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right.

I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How To Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hi, I'm Ed Zittron, host of the Better Offline podcast. And this January, we're going to go on the road to beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada to cover the Consumer Electronics Show, tech's biggest conference. Better Offline CES coverage won't be the usual rundown of the hottest gadgets or biggest trends, but an unvarnished look at what the tech industry plans to sell Thank you. and a few surprise guests throughout the show. Listen to Better Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts from.