Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update PODCAST: Should I Stay or Should I Love?
Episode Date: September 22, 2016Today, we made an exception for one of our listeners (Cate), and we accepted her Second Date Update request, even though it doesn't QUITE fit the usual criteria. And we're glad we did. Because we coul...dn't believe what happened... Listen in the PODCAST.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Moving 92.5.
Rookin' Jub Today's second date update is a little different from the others because the girl that's on
the phone to do a second date update today has actually had three dates with the guy
that she wants to call.
That's breaking the rules.
I mean, come on.
Normally the rule is one date and that's it.
Not three dates because that's kind of more of a relationship type thing.
And it's not a second date update.
That'd be a fourth date update.
But I went ahead and I talked to the girl and she offered me $1,000 cash if we would do the second date update for her anyway.
And you know what?
Rules are meant to be broken sometimes.
So, Kate, you will have my PayPal request in just a little while, okay?
Yes, I'll get it right out to you.
You didn't know this second date update was going to cost you $1,000, did you, Kate?
Well, I didn't, but I mean, I hope it's worth it.
I swear, when you hear this story, you're going to understand why.
Okay, so your email said that you've been out on three dates with this guy, and now he's just stopped calling you.
Tell us a little bit about him.
Okay, so his name is andrew uh-huh it sounds really cheesy but we were doing like a volunteer charity event and we met there and we were working together so we just
had a lot of time you know like hang out and talk and stuff and you know we had a connection and
he asked me out on a date and since then it's just kind of been like a whirlwind. You know what I mean?
Like you're super into him, and you see this going into relationship status?
Yeah, I mean, obviously not right now at this moment, because I'm calling you for a reason.
But no, it was definitely like, I felt like it was headed in that direction, yeah.
What did you guys do for your date?
Dates, plural.
So my first date, it was actually really romantic.
We went on one of those dinner cruises, which I probably would have hated if it was someone that I turned out not to be attracted to.
But we had so much fun, you know, like if I needed to be trapped on a boat with anyone, that would be the person that I would want to be.
That's actually a good idea for guys to take girls on a dinner cruise date for the first date because there's nowhere to go.
Yeah.
But it does say that he was, like, really into you because if a guy is going to devote that much time and energy into a first date, he's obviously wanting to impress you.
Yeah.
Screw time and energy.
Just cash.
That's not a cheap date at all.
Okay.
So you went on a dinner cruise.
That's cool.
What did you do for your other dates?
The next date we went on one of those wine and tasting events at a bar,
which was super casual, and it was fun because there were other people there.
So we got to spend more time in a group of people and see what that dynamic is like.
It was really fun.
Then my third one was so sweet because I was really stressed was really stressed out at work and I think I had
mentioned it like a couple times in conversation and so he booked us a couple massage what that's
like relationship status stuff yeah so we definitely like took our relationship to the
next level after that and I'm you know like starting to feel emotionally connected to him
and putting in you know feelings, feelings and effort and time.
And since then, it has been complete radio silence.
That's weird.
That is totally weird.
To put that much effort into all those dates.
I know.
And by effort, you still mean money, don't you?
Pretty much.
But I mean, you don't buy somebody a couple's massage if you don't care about them.
Absolutely.
No, I mean, I don't buy somebody a couples massage if you don't care about them. Absolutely. No, I mean, I wouldn't spend that much money.
And I just can't believe he's, like, spent that much money for just a hookup.
Like, that seems like a lot of work.
That was the first night you guys hooked up after the couples massage?
Yeah.
So he stopped calling you after the first night that you hooked up?
Yes.
I know.
It's like textbook.
I know.
But the lead up is so confusing because, you know, everyone's been in the hookup situation before, whether they intended to or not.
You know what I mean?
And it usually doesn't have that much buildup.
Usually someone doesn't put in that much time and effort and then go completely off the grid.
It sounds like he was doing all that just to get in your pants, if I'm being honest.
Well, it does if he's doing all this.
Seriously, would you do that much?
I wouldn't.
I wouldn't know, but a lot of guys would.
I mean, if he's putting in all that effort and then stops calling you the moment that you guys hook up,
sounds like that's all he wanted.
I don't know.
I also, like, in my head, I'm kind of, like, wondering,
was he, like, just getting out of a relationship and did he fix things?
Did he go back to him?
See.
And, like, all of it is totally, like, if that were the case, you know, life happens.
I just, some kind of answer, just some kind of conversation telling you what happened.
That's where my mind goes to.
I think.
Did you stay the night at his house?
Yeah.
What was it like in the morning?
It was really nice.
It wasn't like hookup.
You know what I mean?
If you know when it's a hookup, you're a woman, you know, like you've been there, you know.
No, most women don't know when it's a hookup.
I'll tell you that much. I totally disagree with that. No, I disagree, too. No been there, you know. No, most women don't know when it's a hookup. I'll tell you that much.
No, I totally disagree with that.
No, I disagree too.
No, most don't know.
That's why there's clingy women who will text you after and think they're in a relationship when they're not.
It happens all the time.
I'm sorry.
I think she's right.
I think the majority of women know when a hookup is just a hookup.
I completely agree.
Okay, well, maybe the guy's a player and he's really good at it and you don't know.
If that's what he's doing, he's really good.
So I'm sure you've thought about it a ton then. If you
don't think it's just a hookup thing and he was just kind of
using you, then what do you think it is?
I'm trying to think of anything at this point.
I mean, that's why I need your help.
I'm really interested to see why he would stop
calling you after all those elaborate dates.
And leaving his house, that was the last
time you've talked to him. No, there have been
like texts, like little texts, like, little texts.
Like, you know, I've been busy.
Like, oh, you're just suddenly so busy.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
He's, like, scheduling cruises and massages,
and then all of a sudden his schedule just got so packed.
All right, well, we'll play a song, come back,
call him and get your second date update, okay?
Okay.
All right, hang on.
Moving 92.5.
Brooke and Jubal in the morning, second date update
Kate? Yeah?
Seriously? I can't even believe
That you want to call this dog back
Like seriously
Girl, you need to move on to greener
Pastures, okay?
Because he totally used you
And now he's not calling you back
And I wouldn't even give him the time of day.
You should not be doing a second date update.
You need to move the f*** along, alright?
Snap out of it, girlfriend.
Let's you and I go get some Cosmos and talk about this.
In your mind, this is how female conversations go, isn't it?
That was my conversation with Kate about moving on.
Kate, are you about ready to call Andrew for your second date update?
Well, after that, I'm feeling really inspired.
Yeah, I bet.
Empowered even, I'm sure.
The reason that I said that is Kate actually wants to call a guy that she has gone out on three dates with.
They've all been pretty elaborate.
The last one was a couple's massage.
There was like a dinner cruise and stuff in there.
Anyway, after they hooked up, after the third date, he stopped calling her.
Hasn't responded to anything.
So my first thought is that he just used her and just wanted to hook up with her,
and now he's not calling her at all.
That's why he's a dog, girl.
Kate, what if that is the reason?
Are you just going to let him have it?
I'm going to be really pissed.
I'm going to dial his phone number right now and see if we can get him on the phone, okay?
Yeah.
Okay, I'm dialing the phone number.
We're good.
Hello?
Hi, I was looking for Andrew.
Yeah, it's a C.
Andrew, how are you?
This is Jubal from Brook and Jubal in the Morning.
Okay.
I'm calling you
because we recently got an email
about you from one of our listeners.
I didn't submit for any
contest or anything, guys. Yeah, no,
I know. This is not about a contest, actually.
I just need a few minutes of your time.
In regards to? In regards
to a date that you went on.
Actually, a few dates that you went on.
What? Yeah, we do a segment on our show, a few dates that you went on. What?
Yeah, we do a segment on our show.
It's called The Second Date Update.
You recently took a girl named Kate out.
She told us a little bit about your dates.
They were all very elaborate and very romantic.
But now you're not calling her back, and she's very confused.
I'm just not sure what to say.
Well, you could start by telling us why you would blow her off after three dates.
It's not as simple as that. Okay.
Yeah, I'm not trying to sound confrontational with you.
I just want to know what happened.
And more than anything, she wants to know what happened because you guys went out on so many dates,
and she said that they were all pretty romantic, and you seemed like you guys really liked each other.
Yeah.
It's just a weird situation.
It's been in my head, and I'm just trying to figure this stuff out. Does that mean that you are actually maybe in a relationship with somebody else?
No, no, no, no, certainly not. No.
Okay.
I wish it was that simple. It's more complicated than that.
Let me ask you a question. Just an easy question to answer. Did you like Kate?
Yes, very much.
Okay, so you did. I did and very much. Okay, so you did.
I did and still do.
So you still do. Well then,
why not offer her the respect of letting her know
why you're not calling her back?
Well, I just
accepted a job
offer in Germany
that I couldn't turn it down.
You what?
I leave in a couple weeks, actually, for Germany.
Whoa.
And that's why you're not calling her back?
Well, I feel strongly for her.
I still don't know how to tell her, you know?
I mean, I don't know what to say to her.
I just figured the easiest thing would be just to, you know, disappear, fade away.
What are you talking about, disappear?
That's like the coward way out.
You owe it to her
to talk to her about what's going on. Like I said, this is not an easy situation. I'm struggling
as far as how to deal with this and what to do. Why are you struggling so much? I mean,
you guys have been out on three dates. It's not like you've been dating for months and months
and months and you're leaving. Why not just call her and say, hey, I'm moving. Sorry,
we can't see each other anymore. You know, I mean, I really like her a lot.
Okay.
So you see a future with her.
If you were going to stay here and Germany wasn't in the picture,
there's no question in your mind that you guys would continue this?
If I was going to stay here, definitely.
No question in my mind.
Wow.
But now that the reality is Germany, there's just no chance of that because, you know, I'm moving.
You guys could maybe try a long distance thing.
That's not fair of me to ask her to do something like that.
You know, she's super sweet.
She's gorgeous.
That's not fair.
Yeah, but how do you know?
You don't know.
I mean, you're putting your feelings on her.
Like, you don't know how she would react to that.
Actually, I am putting her needs first.
She doesn't deserve to be in a long-distance relationship like that with someone.
She deserves someone who's going to be there with her, contributing to her life.
I'm putting her needs way above mine.
I just don't know what to say.
It sounds like you really like her a lot.
Yeah, yeah, I do.
Man, that sucks.
Honestly, if I were in your position, that would be hard.
To meet somebody that you're, I mean, I guess it sounds like you're falling for,
and then you're like, man, now I've got to move.
Yeah, it sucks.
But some consolation, German chicks can be kind of hot.
Okay.
Okay, Drupal.
That's not where we're going with this.
It is.
You're making more money, obviously.
Can I ask one question, though?
Did you know that you were going to Germany before that last couple's massage, slept together night?
No, no, no.
In fact, this is from a previous situation I had that developed over the course of three or four months.
So I thought that the opportunity had kind of fizzled out,
but it turns out it was just taking a little bit more time,
and then they made me an offer.
I just had to jump on this.
I'm just really excited about this Germany thing.
It's the dream job I've always, always wanted.
But at that same time, you know, I feel like I could be missing out
and not being able to share something like that with someone like her.
Well, then why not just talk to her about it?
I agree. I know it's early on in your relationship, then why not just talk to her about it? I agree.
I know it's early on in your relationship,
but why not just talk to her?
Man, easier said than done, guys.
Not really, because she's actually on the line listening.
Excuse me?
I said she's on the other line
and listening to this conversation
and wants to talk to you.
There's that.
Kate's on the phone.
Yes, she is.
Yeah. Yeah.
Hi.
I don't really know what to say.
This is a lot.
You've been on the phone the whole time?
The whole time.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I stopped calling you.
It was the only way that I saw to handle this.
It's okay.
I don't really know what I would have done in this situation either.
I just wish you would have told me.
But what was I going to say?
You didn't even mention that you applied.
I know.
I didn't even know that you even applied. You know, like you didn't even, that you applied. I know. I didn't even know that you even applied.
That wasn't mentioned.
It was in regular conversation.
You know what I mean?
So it's really out of left field.
Well, yeah.
Honestly, I thought that that prospect had kind of just fizzled out long before I even met you.
So it just kind of popped out of nowhere again.
It just really sucks because i
like have really i mean i i have strong feelings for you i have strong feelings for you too
it's just not fair for you it's not it's not fair for us you know life is just not on our side it
seems um well andrew maybe maybe life is on your, and that's why you guys are being connected in a second date update to talk about it.
I guess.
I mean, I think about you every day, and I want, you know, I mean, a long-distance relationship is really, really hard.
And it's not fair of me to even apply something like that or even ask that.
It's only been three dates, but, you know, I can't stop thinking about you.
So my heart says something, and my mind says something different, you know?
Kate, I'm just going to ask for you.
Would you do a long-distance relationship?
I don't know.
I mean, somebody's got to step in and ask her what her opinion is on that whole matter.
I don't know.
I don't know because it's not really being put on the table. It's not like a real question. So I don't know. I don't know because it's not really being put on the table.
It's not like a real question, so I don't know.
It's so soon, and it's so new.
And in general, would I do a long-distance relationship?
Like in general in life, would I consider it?
Well, yeah, I would, but it's not really what's being asked right now.
Well, the simple fact of the matter is long- know, long-distance relationships suck, you know?
I mean, this is really hard.
I mean, my heart says something and my mind says something different.
You know, I'm thinking that I just need to sever this, cut this off,
but I can't stop thinking about you.
So I'm feeling like I need to ask you to go with me, you know?
I know that's crazy.
I shouldn't have even said that.
I'm sorry.
I feel like I'm falling. I'm not even going there.
I feel like I'm falling for you, you know?
You don't want me to go with you. I mean, we've been on three dates.
We can't.
That's not like a real.
Is that a real question?
Well, I don't think.
I don't want to put words in your mouth, Andrew,
but I don't think you were actually asking her to go with you.
I think you were saying that's the way you feel.
You know, I'm just not sure at this point.
This phone call is really. It's even more confusing now, it seems like.
It sounds like to me that if she would say yes, that that is exactly what you're asking.
I wouldn't want to ask her that.
You know, that's just a huge bombshell to drop on somebody.
You know, it's a lot of pressure to put on her.
Let's play a game, Andrew.
Let's put this relationship seven months down the road.
If you guys have been dating for seven months, would you ask her to go with you to Germany?
Yes.
Wow.
Kate, what do you think about that?
If you were dating seven months, would you go?
This is like all hypothetical situation.
I mean, if we had been dating in the same way that it's been, if we just continued down the same path that we started, I don't see why I wouldn't consider it.
But you guys have a couple weeks or whatever until you leave.
I mean, you could bond.
You could spend every day together.
You could see how it goes up until then.
And then maybe in six months, she could come join you.
You got it all figured out, Brooke.
Yeah, she does. She's so excited. figured out bro this whole thing is it's just
crazy no so let's just step back and let kate process this well how about you guys process
together would you like to go out in a second well fourth date with kate we will pay for you
guys to go out again at least before you leave yeah talk about it, do you want to go? I mean, yeah. Yes, of course. Okay. Yes.
All right, well, keep us updated on what happens.
Okay.
Okay.
All right, we'll try.
All right, and until you leave, Andrew,
I want you guys to process as much as possible.
Okay.
Just keep processing every night until you leave, okay?
Just got a text in at 78592 that says, OMG, I need them to get married.
I feel the same way.
I am right there with you.
Brooke and Jubal in the morning talking about today's second date update.
This girl named Kate wanted to call a dude named Andrew.
They had actually gone out on a few dates, so technically it wasn't a first date,
and then she's not getting a call back.
They'd gone out a few times.
He stopped calling her back, and of course she was wondering why.
It's kind of weird.
But we got him on the phone, and it turns out that he actually really liked her a lot.
They both like each other a lot.
But he got a job offer in Germany, and it's like his dream job.
So he's like, well, I'm going to be leaving.
So what's the point of continuing this?
It's just going to be bad for both of us.
I can't ask her to do a long distance thing three dates in.
And then he was like, well, I mean,
maybe you could move with me in like seven months or something
if we continue the relationship.
Romance is still alive, people.
And she said that she would be willing to think about it
because they both like each other enough.
So I guess they're going to work on things and talk about it
and figure out where their
relationship is headed and if they can make it work from Germany.
But everybody texting in at 78592 is just in love with today's new sweetheart couple.
Do you know why?
Because people love love.
And I love them for that.
It really makes me so happy.
I mean, you don't want this girl to regret, right?
I mean, even if it doesn't work out, at least you tried, and then you know.
People are texting in at 78592 saying they're
crying in their car for these guys.
They're going to be so
disappointed if these two get together and they're like,
well, we went out on our fourth date, and
I don't know, man.
Two months later, he cheated on me.
Yeah.
The whole thing is just screwed up
now. Thanks a lot for doing that second date update and having us go out again and planning our future.
Because my life is wrecked.
I can't get back from Germany now.
I don't have enough money because I moved out for this dude.
So it can either go really well or really bad.
We'll try to keep you updated on that.
Every once in a while, we'll get back in touch with the people who do the second date updates.
This is obviously one that we'll have to ask them in a few months how things are going.
It could be very happy or very sad.
I'm staying optimistic about it.
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What if you asked two different people the same set of questions?
Even if the questions are the same, our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers.
I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast, and now, Mini Questions is returning for another season.
We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions,
including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson.
Listen to Mini Questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts.
Seven questions, limitless answers.
$1.4 billion in NFL quarterback contracts. Seven questions, limitless answers. co-host Brian Murphy, Athletes First CEO, and I are sitting down with the agents who have negotiated contracts for Justin Herbert,
Deshaun Watson, Dak Prescott,
Tua Tugnavailoa, and Jordan Love.
Listen to Athletes First Family Podcast
on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts.