Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update PODCAST: Snakes on a Date

Episode Date: September 18, 2017

Maybe a beer chugging contest and an evening surrounded by snakes isn't YOUR perfect first date. But for one of our listeners (Ken), it's a dream come true. So why isn't he getting a call back afterwards? Find out in the Second Date Update.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Moving 92.5. Rook and Jubal's second date update. The only surefire way to a woman's heart is to beat her at a beer chugging contest. Everybody knows that. Pound a couple of Coors Lights in her face and she will be yours forever. I'm weak in the knees just thinking about it. That's what my grandmother always told me. Ken is on the phone to do a second date update today. He wants to call a girl named Nikki.

Apparently, that's how he got her number. Just beat her at a beer chugging contest. What's up, Ken? How are you? Hey, guys. How are you doing? Pretty good. Thank you for your email.

Appreciate it. Absolutely. I'm excited to be talking with you. So your email said that you beat this girl at a beer chugging contest, and that's how you got the job done. I did. Yeah. Tell us how that went down. Well, I was at my favorite spot and I was just kind of hanging out and I noticed this gal Nikki like right away. She was in with a couple of friends of hers, you know, just kind of hanging out and she definitely caught my eye. So you saw her and thought classy. I need to beat her by chugging beers. No, that came much later.

She just had that look, though, like this girl can party. You know what I mean? That's what every girl wants to be described as. She looks like she just lived a hard life and knows how to slam a beer or two. You know how a lot of women will order like an apple martini or something girly like that? She was just she was pounding beer and i was like impressed okay so how'd the beer chugging contest start well i bought her a beer you know from her and her friends you know i bought them like a pitcher of beer and the

bartender brought it over to her and they didn't even they didn't even look my direction which means they didn't care at all they were just thanked no yep free beer yeah nothing i mean they were actually talking up the bartender more like he was getting all the juice for for your free beer that didn't really sit well with me so i figured i should at least talk to her okay and so you just go up to her and say hey by the way i bought you that beer you might want to say thanks well you're half right i think hey by, I did buy you that beer, and then I was like, you look like you can handle your beer. Again, not a compliment. None of that is a lovely thing to hear.

Well, you know, she actually responded pretty well to that. I think she's used to guys just being like, you know, what's your sign or whatever, corny lines. Guys feed girls at bars. Yeah. And she kind of looked at me with like a, like I got her attention. You know what I mean? Definitely. You definitely got her attention.

I don't know if it was a good thing. So we actually started talking and she was actually impressed with the beer that I picked out for them. And she said, you actually look like a bit of a lightweight. I'm surprised you even know what this beer is. I love how you guys are just insulting each other back and forth. Well, she's talking smack to me. I kind of like that. I also found it a little

alluring because she was kind of a bold woman. So that's when you chugged beer? She actually suggested it. I mean, I'm not somebody who responds well to being called a lightweight. And so we basically get down to who can chug a beer faster.

So the next thing I know, we're like chugging beers, right? And she won the first round, which impressed me. I won the second one, of course, and come back strong. And, you know, I said, you want to make it interesting. Let's put a date on the line here for the third final round. And I won. Okay. So you chugged a beer faster than her and then she had no choice but to go out with you. Yeah, that was pretty much right. Alright. Tell us about the date when you guys went out. What'd you do? Well, we decided

to go get a drink. After you were already getting drinks? Yeah. This is all the same night? This is the same night. Yeah, this is about 15 minutes after the beer chugging. We decided to go get some cocktails to kind of mix it up because we'd had enough beer. That's always a smart decision. That's a great decision.

I'm assuming by the end of the night, you two were both plastered. We were feeling good. You know, and I live in close proximity because it's one of my favorite spots. So I said, hey, you want to come back to my place and hang out? And she said, yeah. So we went back there. And what'd you do at your place? Well, all right.

So I have a hobby. I had to let her know that I have, I collect snakes, like reptiles. What? Like live snakes? You collect snakes? Like how many snakes do you have? I've only got four, but they're kind of big. Oh, yeah.

That's four more snakes than I think anybody should own, by the way. And if you ever have to give a warning to someone before they enter your apartment, it usually means that you're weird. A lot of people own snakes. I don't think I'm weird, but, you know, some people can be freaked out by it, right?

Of course. So was she freaked out by your snakes? You know, by that point, it's kind of hazy, but I think she just kind of played it off, like, yeah, no problem. You know, like, I think she actually said, I've handled a snake before or something like that oh yeah you're like yeah

you have you haven't handled a snake yet until you've been back to my place so what did you guys do back there you just show her your snakes it's a little it's a little hit and miss as far as what i remember uh from that point on all right i know I know I did show her my pythons. Yeah. Alright, so you showed her your pythons, bro. Honestly, I don't remember a whole lot from that point on except for setting her up on the couch

doing the gentleman thing. So you guys didn't really hook up or anything? Not that I remember. I mean, I slept in my bed and I remember setting her up on the couch, and in the morning she was gone. It just sounds like to me that she, like, went out, had a crazy night, chugged some beers with a dude, saw his pet snakes,

and then was like, all right, I need to get out of here. I mean, you know, that's possible, but the thing is, like, I texted her, you know, twice, and she just hit me back really cold, You know, just like, lose my number. So we know she doesn't like you. Well, you know, I felt a real chemistry with her, though, so I don't know if maybe the snakes were the deal breaker. Do you remember doing anything that really, you know, made her mad or was inappropriate?

You know, I hope not. I mean, it was pretty hazy, like I said. We had quite a lot of beer. I'm assuming something must have happened to elicit a response that says, lose my number after you guys hung up. Yeah, well, that's why I need your help. All right. Well, we'll play a song, come back, call her, and get your second date update, all right? I appreciate it. Thanks, man.

All right, hang on. Moving 92.5. Brooke and Jubal in the Morning's Second Date Update. The perfect way to sum up today in the morning. Second date update. The perfect way to sum up today's date for the second date update, slamming beers and touching snakes. Actually accurate. Hey, girl, why did you want to come out for an evening of slamming beers and touching snakes? You came to the right place.

Sounds like a redneck rally or something. Ken is on the phone for a second date update today. He wants to call a girl named Nikki. They met at a bar when they had a beer chugging contest. Apparently it was like, if I beat you, then you have to go out with me. So they went out that same night, got drunk, went back to his place, and he showed her his snake collection. Apparently he has four snakes.

He woke up in the morning. She was gone. Texted her, called her, and she just sent him a text back that said, lose my number. So we're about to call her right now and find out what went wrong on the date. Any last words before we call her, Ken? No, man. I just appreciate it. I really want to know what's going on.

And, Ken, have the snakes ever been a problem in attracting women before? No. You know, surprisingly, they've actually been more of a positive thing. People seem, you know, ladies seem kind of intrigued by it more than scared. Okay. All right. Here we go, man. I seem kind of intrigued by it more than scared. Okay. All right, here we go, man. I'm going to dial their phone number right now.

Awesome, thanks. Hello? Hi, can I speak to Nikki, please? This is she. Hey, Nikki, how are you? This is Jubal from Brook and Jubal in the Morning.

Who is this? Jubal from Brook and Jubal in the Morning. Who is this? Jubal from Brook and Jubal in the Morning, the radio show. Okay. What's going on? What's going on with you? Why are you calling me? I'm calling you because somebody emailed us about you and asked if I could get you on the phone. Okay.

It's a segment we do on our show called The Second Date Update. You recently went out with a guy named Ken. Oh, no. And Ken is curious why, after your date, you sent him a text message that said, lose my number. Are you kidding me? No, I'm not.

Got a second to talk to us about Ken real quick? Oh my God. Just want to know why you're not calling him back and what you didn't like about him. I mean, it's not that I didn't like him. He seemed like a perfectly fine, normal guy. God. This is serious, right? Yes, normal guy. God. Like, this is serious, right? Yes, it is.

100% serious. He did tell us about your date and how you guys met, chugging beers at a bar, and told us that you guys got pretty drunk. Wound up back at his place. Yep. He told you we went back to his place? Yeah. Okay, it wasn't like that.

No, he didn't. He didn't say that. Yeah. Okay, it wasn't like that. No, he didn't say that. He didn't tell us it was like that. He said that you guys went back there and it was kind of hazy, but he put you to bed on the couch and then woke up in the morning and you were gone. And then he said he tried to get a hold of you, and you told him that you didn't want to have anything to do with him. Okay, Mr. Blabbermouth can't keep his trap closed. He told you guys everything.

Do you remember the night? You don't even need to talk to me now. Well, we'd like to know. That's a good point. Well, we'd like to know what went wrong. Do you remember the night back at his place? I mean, he says it was pretty hazy. Oh, I remember everything.

Okay, well, maybe you can fill in the details that he's missing then. This is just, like, really weird for me so um bear with me i can't believe i'm like airing my dirty laundry on the radio station um so yeah you know then that he has a snake collection back to his place he told us all about that he said that he brought you back there and he said you didn't seem very creeped out by his snakes i mean we had some drinks you know i was feeling a little more brave than normal so you know he's like oh i got these snakes by the way so i'm like okay like that's weird but what the hell like i'm not gonna say no now like i'm already in your apartment right i think it's weird to have four of any animal. If you have four dogs, if you have four cats, it's all.

Yeah. Like, four snakes makes it even just stranger. Yeah. It was bizarre. So I'm like, okay, fine. Like, you can show me one. So he brings it out, and then he's like, oh, like, do you want to touch it? I'm like, no, I don't want to touch it.

And he's like, no, just feel the scales. Like, all this weird, like, creepy stuff. Like, just seductively, like, touching the snake. feel the scales like all this weird like creepy stuff like just seductively like touching the snake and i'm like did you say seductively touching the snake i mean it seemed like very he's super into snakes obviously yeah so i'm like i'm good dude like just keep it over there you know so he goes to go put it back in the cage, and he starts kissing it. Ew. Like, kissing his snake. Like, tongue-kissing his snake.

Shut up. He did not, like, French kiss a snake. Yes, he did. Oh, that is disgusting. Wait a minute. You know how people kiss their dogs? Like, he was doing that with his snake. Oh, gross is disgusting. Wait a minute. You know how people kiss their dogs? Like he was doing that.

Oh, gross. Yeah. So he's like tonguing this snake and I'm like, okay, this is like a nightmare. But obviously I'm loaded. I can't leave. So I'm like, okay, whatever. Just go to sleep. Get up the next morning and I don't want to be rude.

I want to go say goodbye because we did have fun together. He was a nice guy. We had a good time. So I go and I knock on his door. He doesn't answer. So I go and I open the door, and he's in the bed with the snake. Like, cut him up? Oh, my God.

Like, I don't know what they were doing. I was just, like, the snake. I don't know what they were doing I was just like the snake I don't know what they were doing I don't know you guys the snake got more action than you that night it seems to be that way like I don't even know I thought that you couldn't sleep with a snake like I thought I would strangle you or something yeah I don't know much about snakes but I don't know that would be weird to walk in and see somebody sleeping with a snake like exactly so I rolled I mean yeah one thing to see somebody like making out with it but then like it's in the bed like all cuddled up next to you like what are you uh not me not me yeah well you imagine if you continue a relationship with this dude it's going to be you in bed with your boyfriend and a snake.

That's gross. Yeah. Well, I should also let you know that he's actually on the line listening to this conversation. Why? Yeah, first of all, that's not weird. Oh, my God. You're making it sound really weird. That's really not weird.

A lot of people actually let snakes chill in their places. What? That's not weird. They're cold-blooded animals, so it's natural for them to curl up with warm-blooded people. That is not normal, and you guys did not tell me he was on the phone, okay? I meant to tell you that. I completely forgot. I'm so sorry about that.

You're making this kissing thing sound really weird, too. It is weird. I'm assuming you've never been to a renaissance fair because that happens a lot, alright? And it's not like I had my tongue in the snake's mouth. The snake sticks its tongue out. You hit it with your tongue. It's a common thing.

That's not common. Do you hear yourself right now? Do you guys hear this? I do. The most disturbing part about that for me was the Renaissance Fair comment. Now I believe that you are a total weirdo, Ken. It's not a weird thing. For somebody that was tough enough to do a beer drinking contest with me,

I thought she'd be way more aware of the reptile. Having a beer drinking contest with somebody is normal. Making out with your snake and then sleeping with it is not normal. Can I just stand up for Ken real quick? I don't know about the tonguing part, but I had a friend who had a python and she let it crawl all over her all the time.

Like when we'd watch movies and stuff. Google Natasha Kinski and the serpent and see what comes up. She's a famous model. Dude, I'm not Googling any of your weird videos. Oh, my God. Okay? Put on some.

I've been caught in that trap before. I'm not going down that road again. Now you guys see, I've dated a lot of weirdos in my life, and I just don't need another one on the list. I know this sounds funny to you guys, but this is really considered snake shaming in the reptile field. Is that for real? Are you being serious about that? Snake shaming? No, I'm being serious. A lot of reptile owners would take offense, but you guys are laughing about this because they're pets.

He wouldn't laugh if I was curled up with, like, my chihuahua or a kitten or something. Yeah, but the kissing thing, how do you explain that? Like, I don't stick my tongue out and let my dog lick my tongue. Some people do, actually. I don't do that. Yeah, some people do. You've never seen, like, an old woman with a small dog just kissing it in public at a restaurant or something? Well, normally a chihuahua.

No, a dog and a snake are not the same. You can't compare the two. Yeah, and normally a chihuahua is not going to strangle you in the middle of the night. I say normally. I guess it could happen somehow. His little paws around your neck. That very rarely happens. That's a big misnomer that that happens a lot.

All right, Ken, I'm sorry for snake shaming. Please don't play this segment for your snakes and let them hear it because I'd hate to see a snake cry. Nikki, would you like to go on a second date with Ken? We will pay for it. No, thank you. He is an animal lover. You got to give him that. Yeah, he's kind of like this.

No, I'm okay. I'm okay, really. You know, it just seems like this relationship might be a little bit crowded with me. He seems like he's good over there with his reptile companion. All right. I'm okay. You know what? I thought you could hang, but I guess not.

So, you know, I'm usually a pretty good judge of character, but, you know, if you can't handle me with my snakes, then I'll find a lady that can. You know, I guess you're not up to the challenge. Nikki, thank you very much for your time. Ken, I'm sorry you didn't get a second date. Thanks, guys. It's all good, man. I appreciate you're not up to the challenge. Nikki, thank you very much for your time. Ken, I'm sorry you didn't get a second date. Thanks, guys. It's all good, man.

I appreciate you guys reaching out. And, you know, remember, snakes are pets like any other. Snakes are people, too. I got it. I got it. Broken Jubal in the morning. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast.

From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now plus you'll get special content just for podcast listeners like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines listen on the i iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to My Legacy. I'm Martin Luther King III, and together with my wife, Andrea Waters King, and our dear friends, Mark and Craig Kilberger,

we explore the personal journeys that shape extraordinary lives. Join us for heartfelt conversations with remarkable guests like David Oyelowo, Mel Robbins, Martin Sheen, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, and Billy Porter. Listen to My Legacy starting January 20th on MLK Day on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The forces shaping markets and the economy are often hiding behind a blur of numbers. So that's why we created The Big Take from Bloomberg Podcasts,

to give you the context you need to make sense of it all. Every day in just 15 minutes, we dive into one global business story that matters. You'll hear from Bloomberg journalists like Matt Levine. A lot of this meme stock stuff is I think embarrassing to the SEC. Follow The Big Take podcast on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen.