Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update PODCAST: Spread Em

Episode Date: March 9, 2020

Sometimes when you listen to a Second Date Update, you come away with a piece of DATING WISDOM, that you can take with you out into the world to make you a better person... Well, today's phone call WON'T necessarily make you a "better person," but it WILL change the way you look at one specific grocery store item FOREVER...See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hi, I'm Ed Zitron, host of the Better Offline podcast. And this January, we're going to go on the road to beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada, to cover the Consumer Electronics Show, tech's biggest conference. Better Offline CES coverage won't be the usual rundown of the hottest gadgets or biggest trends, but an unvarnished look at what the tech industry plans to sell or do to you by the IHOP Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts from.

The guy on the phone for a second date update today already knows where his date went wrong. Really? And the bad part about it is he was pretty much guaranteed to get a second date. And then he did something really bizarre and screwed everything up. So now he needs to see if he can apologize and get a second date. Chris, why don't you tell everybody what happened? I will. Oh, you sound so defeated. Oh, no.

Well, you'll understand. Okay. So, I mean, I don't date a lot. Well, you'll understand. Okay. So, I mean, I don't date a lot. I want to just preface that. I get nervous really easily. So a couple of weeks ago, I went out with, like, a couple of coworkers

at a local bar. We're all, you know, tech guys. And we were just having a couple of drinks and it was getting a little fun. And they kind of dared me to spot the hottest girl in the bar and you should go talk to her. That's a good dare. Yeah, classic dare.

I was really nervous about it. I just get way too nervous. I don't talk well. You don't sound nervous. I don't talk well. You don't sound like a nervous guy at all. Yeah, you get it. And so they ended up finally coercing me into doing it.

So, you know, I spotted who I thought was the hottest girl in the bar. And, you know, I went over and ended up, I was like so nervous. I ended up pulling up my phone and doing a Google search for like pickup lines. Nice. You didn't? Why did you go to that? Because I didn't know what to say. So what did your phone come up with?

Well, the one I used was, and I said this to her while looking at my phone. Oh, God. It was, hey there, if you were a sheep, I would clone you. That's it? That's the one you chose, huh? Yeah, well. Winner, winner. That's actually kind of endearing. Like, you're looking at your phone.

You're obviously nervous. I mean, she fell for it, right? She liked it. She thought it was really funny, and she ended up pulling up her phone. We ended up having sort of like a Google search for pickup line. She's like, I bet you I could choose like 10 that were better than that one. Yeah, she definitely outdid me. Yeah.

All right. So you struck up a conversation that way. And how did everything else go? It went great from there. We just started. We had a couple of more drinks. We were talking the whole rest of the night. And probably like 1130 or midnight, the place was getting slowing down.

She ended up whispering. She said, let's go back to your place. And I was amazed. I was like, what a way. Like, what? This can't be happening. Are you talking to me? Did you say, did I hear what I think you said?

I just tried to play it cool, which is just me sweating and not saying anything. Good way to play it cool. I didn't know at all that you were nervous. So yeah, we ended up going back to my place. Things were moving in a way where stuff was definitely going to happen, you know, more than just making out. Do you have to Google that too?

I probably should have. Because next thing I know, she's like need she has to like go into my bedroom just sort of get ready kind of get more a little more comfortable and she's like give me a minute i'll tell you to come in so i let her go into my room she's like a seductress i mean i don't know if she's seductress but she's definitely more experienced than me and it seems like she's been with a lot of men me i haven't been on a date for you know maybe two years before this okay so i'm sitting in the kitchen waiting for her to kind of like tell me when she's ready and i start getting nervous again right because she gives you time alone with your own thoughts that's a horrible thing to do

for you so i started like freaking out thinking i get oh no she's experienced i'm not what do i do in my head i get this idea that like i I got to spice it up. I got to bring, I got to deliver when I walk in this room, when she beckons me in. So I started going through my cupboards and I found my jar of Nutella. Oh no. And I got this great idea that was like, Hey, you know what? Like I've seen movies and stuff. People like eating stuff off each other. Oh, no. That's sexy. That's fun. So I ended up stripping and putting Nutella on myself below.

No! Did you use a butter knife or did you do it by hand? I just have to know. I wasn't going to put a knife down there. You slathered yourself in Nutella. That is not an attractive looking substance, by the way. I thought it would be fun and, you know, people like

chocolate, but it definitely doesn't spread easily like it does on the commercials or the apps. Oh my god. Well, they're spreading it on different things in those commercials. I think that's the key. At any point during the spread did you think, like, maybe this isn't a good idea? At one point, I had both my thighs covered and my entire arm.

I don't think there was any point of going back. Yeah. You can't really play that off. You covered a lot of body area. I was thinking just, like, the important ones. Your entire arm was covered in Nutella? That was just, like, me trying to, like to spread it all out so it looked somewhat even. I was trying to make it look impressive as much as possible.

Except for it leads to hours of having to lick it off. You're tired by the time that that's going to be done. I didn't think any of this out. It was just impulsive. What did she say? What happened when you walked in the room? Oh, yeah. She called me in and I went in there completely covered in, you know, almost completely covered in Nutella.

That image. Yeah. Oh, God. It was kind of just like immediately she was first surprised, really confused, and then just horrified. Did you explain to her that it was Nutella before she started thinking it was other things? That's the thing. I don't think I ever

did explain it was Nutella. I think she just got up and she laughed. I hope she didn't think that. You're just like, all girls love Nutella, right? Did she say anything to you before she left? She just said,

it's late, I gotta go. And just let you sit there sticky? Yeah, I mean, I do remember her saying, no, no, don't, wait, don't go, and then she just kind of didn't respond and just walked right past me. Wait, don't go, I need an adult, I need somebody to help me clean up. Oh my god.

Did you hear from her at all after this? Such an embarrassing experience. Well, no. I mean, I've been trying. I just called her and I sent some texts, but she hasn't responded. Have you explained yourself in any of the phone calls or text messages? I was kind of wanting to talk to her directly. She hasn't responded,

so I haven't had a chance to, but I think if I could, we'd have a chance of going on like a second date. Yeah. Well, I bet she'll remember you when we call. Oh, God. Yeah, I don't see how she could forget me. If she gets you confused with somebody else, you probably don't want another date with her.

That happens to me all the time all right we're gonna play a song come back and then we'll call her and see if you can talk yourself into a second date okay thank you all right hang on moving 92.5 brook and jubile in the morning second date update i'm just gonna go ahead and add today's Second Date Update to the list of things I never thought I'd say. But Chris is on the phone and Chris thinks he's not getting a call back for a date because he slathered himself in Nutella.

That's right. You heard me correctly. Chris slathered himself in Nutella and that's why he's not getting a call back. He met a girl. Chris, I never got her name from you. What's her name? Mariela.

Mariela, okay. Chris met Mariela out at a bar. He admits that he's not much of a ladies' man. His friends dared him to talk to her. He talked to her. Ended up actually going back to his place and things were moving on to the next level. She went in the bedroom

and that's when Chris got nervous and thought that he needed to spice things up because she might be more experienced than him so he found a jar of Nutella and put it all over his naked body and then walked into the bedroom without explaining it and that's when she got

up and left and he hasn't talked to her ever since. Chris, believe it or not, I think you could come back from this. Are you serious? I'm serious. I think that you're cute and endearing and you seem sincere. But I had Nutella all over my body. I mean, that's a good

point. Was it low fat or regular calories? She might have been offended. She could be on a diet, you know. It might not have been the weirdness of spreading it on your body at all. It was just a regular. Okay, well, maybe that's the issue. I'm going to dial her phone number right now and see if we can get you a second date, okay? All right.

I'm just really nervous. You're not near your kitchen, are you? That's a good question. Okay. Just keep it to regular nerves right now. Okay. All right. Here we go.

Hello? Hi, can I speak to Mariela? Hi, I'm Mariela. Hi, I'm Jubal. Hi. Hi. Who are you? Jubal from Brick and Jubal in the Morning, the radio show.

Why are you calling me? Well, I'm calling you because you recently went out on a date with one of our listeners. And now you're not calling him back. So he asked us if we could get you on the phone and find out why. Okay. His name is Chris. Oh, my God. I still can't stop laughing for you. Oh, God.

Yeah, it was weird. It was really, really weird. Yeah, we know. We talked to him. He sent us an email about your whole date and explained everything. He feels really bad about what happened, but I just want to hear how it was from your point of view. Well, we met at a bar. Uh-huh. Um, well, we, we met at a bar and I thought he was really cute and a kind of like nerd.

After a couple of beers, I was like, do you want to go back to your place? Yeah, he told us all that. He said that he was really nervous, by the way. Yeah, I mean, it was cute. I thought it was cute that he was so nervous. Did you think, I'm going to rock this guy's world tonight? I don't know. He just seemed like really, really nervous,

and I felt like I could calm him down a little. Sounds like you did the opposite. It sounds like you riled him up. Did he really tell you everything that happened? Yeah, he told us everything. Oh, man, it's embarrassing. What was going through your mind when he walked in the bedroom? She can't even control herself. I do not blame you. Well, he walks in and he's

completely naked and it looked like someone took him and just dipped him in a porter potty or something. It was so bad. He had just like brown sludge all over his body. Have you ever been with a guy and he just walked into the bedroom with brown stuff all over him? No. I mean, just walking into the bedroom naked is enough to kind of scare you. Like, they were already skipping some steps of foreplay there.

Yeah, that alone was, like, really intense. And then I was just standing there and he just whispered to me, I hope you're hungry. Oh, my God! He didn't tell us. God, he committed to this, didn't he? And did you answer him at all? No. I just like ran out of

there and right out of his apartment. I didn't even say bye. It was just freaky and I don't think anyone I have something even say bye. It was just freaky and I don't think anyone... I have something to say here. What's that? I have something to say here. What's

going on? Oh, that's Chris. He's actually on the other line listening and wants to talk to you. And apparently he's heard enough and wants to speak right now. Hi, Mariela. Oh my god, hi. I can understand where you're coming from, but what I had on me was not feces.

It was Nutella. You know, the chocolate treat. I know what Nutella is. Why did you put it all over your body? Oh, I just, I thought it would be sexy in the moment. Well, at least it wasn't the first thing I was thinking. Yeah. Yeah.

Why, why would you do that you know how like strawberries and whipped cream is fun and sexy i just thought that i didn't have any of that so i just went with what i had why would you put it on your body like Like, it was all over your body. Well, I just, I don't know. I just started putting it some places. Didn't thought it would look weird if there was just one area. A lot of areas. I get it now.

It wasn't the smartest choice. You should always discuss food items in the bedroom prior to bringing them into the bedroom. I've just been trying. You should always discuss food items in the bedroom prior to bringing them into the bedroom. I know that now. I mean, duh. I figured it out the hard way. I'm sorry, Mariela. I didn't mean to freak you out.

I was just trying to have a good time and it got off the rails. Yeah, that'll happen. You're trying to have a good time before you know it, your lap's covered in Nutella. And your arms and your chest and your knees. I mean, I was just trying to be sexy

and then sexy went all wrong. Yeah. That was like the weirdest thing I've ever seen. Well, can I interest you in doing it again? Because Chris would love to go on a second date with you. We will pay for it if you'll go out with him again. Mariel, before you decide it will not happen again,

any kind of food thing, I won't do it. I think we'll have a really great time. Just go out on a second date. I think you should give him a chance. I mean, I know that image is going to be hard to erase from your memory. But I mean, honestly, he said some really sweet things about you.

Well, I mean, obviously this was a really bad, tragic mistake. And I can tell that you had really sweet intentions behind it. Yeah, I did.

I only had good intentions. Really sweet intentions. Chocolate hazelnut sweet, to be exact. Will you go out with him again, Mariela? Yeah, I'll give him another chance. Why not? Yes! Really?

I knew you could do it, Chris. Congratulations, Chris. You got a second date. It's going to be fun, and if you want to try some other foods, I'd be down for that. You're like at a restaurant, though, Chris. That's what I meant. You didn't think I meant the other thing, right?

I think you need to be very clear with Chris going forward about all food activities. Text in at 78592 I think you need to be very clear with Chris going forward about all food activities. Broken Jubal in the morning. Text in at 78592 says, sadly, I can relate to the guy in today's second date update. Really? You are probably the only person out there who can actually relate to him. If you missed today's second date update, this dude named Chris wanted to call Mariela. They went out. They met at a bar, went back to his place, and were fooling around a little bit, and things got serious.

He admitted to us that he's not very experienced when it comes to dating at all, and he thought maybe she was more experienced, so he wanted to spice things up before they got ready to be intimate. And his idea was to go to his kitchen, raid the cabinets, and add some food to spice things up, and he chose Nutella, And rubbed Nutella all over his body before going into the bedroom naked with Nutella rubbed on him. And that's when she left.

He didn't even get a chance to explain it was Nutella. She thought it was something else. Yeah. Well, it's not an attractive substance, but the thing is, I get where his mind was because it is delicious. It is. I mean, if you're going to pick a delicious substance,

just the wrong shade of color. She left and wasn't calling him back. We got her on the phone and eventually explained that it was Nutella and that the reason he did it was because he was nervous and he actually got a second date. I know. Amazing. He's sweet though. That's why.

He was just sincere, you know? Totally. Everybody texting him at 78592 wants to go out with him. Everybody loved him. He's like the ladies' man. And here's the thing. He would put a lot of effort into your date. And if you like Nutella, bonus.

Remember, if you want to do a second date update, all you have to do is email the show, and we will call the person who didn't call you back. Moving 92.5. Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them.

More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble. may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How To Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hi, I'm Ed Zittron, host of the Better Offline podcast. And this January, we're going to go on the road to beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada, to cover the Consumer Electronics Show, tech's biggest conference. Better Offline CES coverage won't be the usual rundown of the hottest gadgets or biggest trends, but an unvarnished look at what the tech industry plans to sell or do to you in 2025. I'll be joined by David Roth at Defector and the writer Edward Ongueso Jr. with guest appearances from Behind the Bastards' Robert Evans, It Could Happen Here's Gare Davis, and a few surprise guests throughout the show. Listen to Better Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts from.