Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update PODCAST: Stargazer

Episode Date: June 12, 2020

Jason impressed Melanie with a cute date night, and everything seemed PERFECT... And that's when you know something's wrong! Let's just say some things are better left unsaid on your first date...See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late-night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Most of my life in a blackout. I was trapped in addiction. You had to grab the lamp and smash it against the walls. And then I decided I wanted to tell my own story. Listen to Crumbs on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Happy holidays from me, Michael Rapoport, and my gift to you is a free subscription to the I Am Rapoport Stereo Podcast, where I discuss entertainment, sports, politics, and anything and everything that catches

my attention. I am here to call it as I see it, and there's a whole lot of things catching my eyes these days. Listen to the I Am Rapoport Stereo Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, and wherever you get your podcasts. Bread and butter wines pair with the life moments you love. Offering a rich and jammy Cabernet Sauvignon, a silky smooth Pinot Noir, and a buttery Chardonnay. Bread and butter wines are delicious. Find bread and butter wines in your favorite store. Moving 92.5. Second date update. We have a woman on the phone for a second date update today and her name is melanie

and this is such a coincidence because my mom's best friend's daughter has a hairstylist whose youngest niece also knows a melanie i don't that's that's's not how coincidence works. Not even like six steps of separation. No. Are you her? Are you her? I'm Melanie, but I'm not her. Are you sure? Because I couldn't even follow where that Melanie is.

Small world, I'll tell you. Small, small world. It's not a small world. Yeah, that is a really big one. Don't know her, Jeff. Hi, Melanie. I don't know. Hi.

So, Melanie, tell us about the guy you want us to call today. What's his name? His name is Jason. Oh, my God. I know my mom. No, you don't know any guy. Wow. Sorry, Melanie.

Go ahead. It's going to take a while, Melanie. Tell us about Jason. Well, I met Jason online through, like, a dating site. Okay. And he was adorable. He had this picture of him on Santa's lap as a kid, not as an adult, as a kid. Hey, I have a picture as an adult on Santa's lap.

That's not that uncool. She just called you creepy. Just so you know, Jose, just in that laugh. It was a funny pic. Continue. That's actually kind of a creative thing to do on your dating profile. Yeah, that is. I mean, it's a risk to swipe on,

that's for sure. Swiping on a little kid. Or maybe it's the Santa, I don't know. There's that. I just thought it was cute. So I swiped and we matched and everything else. He was career focused. He was handsome. So we decided to go out and we went out to dinner. Okay. So how did dinner go? Well, dinner went great. And actually, there was like this older lady who was sitting kind of close to us and she leaned over and was like, I hope you don't mind me asking if you're on a date. All right, nosy old lady. Get out of our business, Gladys. She's got nothing to do, okay?

This is probably the highlight of the week. Okay, when I eavesdrop on people, you guys call it weird. But when an old lady does it, then it's okay. Yeah, it's just what old women do. They don't have a whole lot going on. They want to figure out where they're at. She's like, I remember, love. You know?

So what did you say back to her? I did tell her we were on a date. So then she said that we would make gorgeous babies together. Oh, dang. That was quick. All right, old lady. She's like, if you guys want to go into the room over there, I think I saw a handicapped stall.

I'll just hold down the table for you. Let's make this happen. No, Granny. So Granny approves. Yes, Granny approves. And the rest of the night, it went really well. It felt very comfortable. We were laughing. We were having a great time. So did anything weird happen in your mind during the night?

Well, he then said he had like a surprise for me. Oh, OK. And you're still wait. You're still at the restaurant at this point when he says it? Yeah, we're finishing up at the restaurant. Okay. So we go out to his car, and then he opens the trunk. Uh-oh. Okay. This is an interesting surprise. I'm a little weirded out by that. I saw this episode on 2020 last night.

But then he pulls out this telescope. A telescope? Yeah. Could also be creepy. Oh, cool. No, like to look at the stars, you mean. Yes. Oh, okay.

Not to stare into other people's apartment buildings, you guys. That's where I went. I'm like, uh-oh, this guy's looking into people's houses. So we actually go over to this hill near the restaurant, and he's like, I just want to show you these constellations, because he really enjoys looking at the stars and things like that. Yeah. I wonder if he did that by accident or if he always just carries around a telescope

for his dates just to bust it out at the perfect moment. Who cares? It means that he likes you and he wants to do something romantic. Yeah, I was wondering why he had that in his trunk. But he had said that he only brought it out if the date was going to go well. Oh. And so he felt like the date was going well. And so he wanted to show me one of his hobbies. Well done, Melanie.

You guys totally made out on that hill, didn't you? There was a quick kiss for sure. This is all so cute. That's why like from the beginning, I'm like, wait, he's perfect for online dating. He's perfect on the date. He does something romantic. We're all so jaded that I'm like, there's got to be something wrong. He's got to be lying about something.

The fact that there's nothing wrong is what's wrong. So how did this date end? Well, I was honestly ready to go home with him that night. I mean, yeah, you were. It was so romantic. You're like, I'll show you some stars. Four stars. That old lady with the gorgeous baby idea was on to something.

Yes, but you know what? He actually, he never offered. And I don't know. So I'm kind of torn because he was respectful. He brought me back to my house. But there was no kiss, just a nice hug. Okay. So how long has it been since you were last in touch with him?

It's been a couple of weeks. I've called him a couple of weeks i've called him a couple times and he's just said he's busy i mean it's i think it's been about three times he said he's busy wow no one's that busy he's pointing his telescope at someone else's constellation oh that's what you call that thing yeah well we're gonna like a big dipper melanie hopefully that's not the case. We're going to play a song, come back, and we'll call Jason for you and try and get you your second date update, okay? Okay.

All right. Hold on. Moving 92.5. Second date update. If you're just tuning in for today's second date update, it's a special one. We're doing it live from the planetarium. Oh. No, we're not.

Shh. Jose, not so loud. There's Orion. Ah. There's Orion's belt. Uh-huh. There's Orion. Oh, Ryan.

Hello. Put your pants back on. Or take them all the way off. You're such a naughty boy, Orion. That's not the constellation I was looking to see. I always thought that was a sword. Now I know otherwise. Maybe it was. I'm going to snap a

quick pic here. No! Okay. What were we doing? I don't remember. I don't know. All of a sudden, I'm really interested in astronomy. We're on the phone with a girl named Melanie.

She recently went out with a guy named Jason. They went out to dinner. And afterwards, Jason even took her to his car where he pulled out a telescope from the trunk and gave her a little stargazing session on top of a hill. And that's not a euphemism for anything. That's actually legit what happened. They looked through the telescope and saw constellations in the sky. And a short kiss they shared.

It all sounds so romantic. I know. But ever since, she hasn't been able to get a hold of Jason. He just keeps saying that he's busy. Melanie, how are you feeling going into this call? A little disappointed. I mean, I'm done dating immature guys, and he just didn't really seem like that. I thought he was the real deal, and I want a guy who's not going to play games, you know?

And who has a huge telescope. Yeah. What every woman wants. That's right. That's always a plus, right? All right, so we're going to call Jason right now, dial the number, and see if we can get you your second date update, okay? Okay. Okay, here we go.

Hello? Hi, can I speak to Jason, please? Yeah, this is Jason. Hey, Jason. My name's Young Jeffrey from Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning. You have a moment to talk? Hi, Jason. What's this all about?

We do something on our show called a second date update. That's where if you go out with someone and afterwards they're not calling you back, you can reach out to us and we'll give that person a call for you to try and figure out the reason why. Uh, okay. Okay. So why are you calling me then? Because you recently went out with a girl. Her name is Melanie. Oh, yeah, Melanie.

Oh, my God. How do you say it like that? You guys had such a romantic date. He remembers. I mean, we just had dinner, you know, and there might have been some positive vibes. There's some weird old lady said we make good kids together or something. Yeah, that's a good sign. It's also a good sign that you pulled out your telescope and showed her.

Oh, okay. So then she told you all about the date, I guess. Yeah. She said that even when you were getting the telescope out, you're like, hey, I brought this and I figured if the date was going really well, I would take you out and show you where the stars are. Yeah. So at that point, I was feeling pretty good about the possibilities.

Yeah. So, you know, we're looking at good about the possibilities. Yeah. So, you know, we're looking at the constellations and I point out Venus and I mentioned, you know, how it's like a kind of synonymous with, you know, fertility. Oh, okay. Well, you ask what her cycle is when she's real primed up. I mean, that's kind of awkward to say a little bit. I mean, that was the only constellation I talked about. I mentioned all the other constellations and what their names were. That was just kind of the one, you know, that seemed to have an impact on her in a weird way. Well, I mean, I can see from a woman's standpoint, anytime a guy brings up fertility, it's kind of like saying, you got nice birthing hips.

What's wrong with that? It's just not first date material, Jeffrey. Oh, okay. Scratch that off my compliment list. Sorry, Mom. Is that what you mean? Is that what made her uncomfortable, maybe? No, it was actually quite the opposite. She kind of let her guard down and became, like,

super comfortable all of a sudden and kind of revealed this scheme that she had going that kind of rubbed me wrong. Scheme? Anytime you put a scheme on anything, it's not going to be good. What are you talking about? Well, she mentions how she feels like she's getting old and she's already 24 and that, you know, she needs to have three kids by 28. What?

There's so many things wrong with that sentence. The first being old at 24. I don't know. I thought the whole thing really scared the crap out of me. I wasn't really focused too much on the age, just the four year timeline that she's expecting to spit out three kids. And I'm just kind of like, whoa, you know, I'm kind of cruising through the first date here. You know, I'm not even sure our names sound good together yet. I could totally understand why you wouldn't call her back. That would freak me out. Okay, so you're just afraid that she wants to have babies with you immediately.

Pretty much. I mean, it feels like she's just ready to get this baby factory going, and I don't know if I'm ready for that. I mean, it sounds like a lot of uncomfortable conversations on your date, but I feel like you could also be jumping to conclusions. Maybe she was just talking about bigger life picture ideas, right? Not necessarily that she wanted you to put a baby up in it. I don't know.

She seemed to have a pretty strict timeline. Well, let's get to the bottom of it right now because the baby factory is on the other line listening. I don't think you're allowed to say that, Jeffrey. I didn't say it. He said it. He called it the baby factory. Melanie's been on the phone this whole time and wants to talk to you. You're not serious, are you?

I am. Melanie, you there? Yes. Hi. Hi. This is so awkward. I'm sorry. I didn't know you were there.

I was just telling it kind of like how I saw it. Jason, I'm really unhappy right now because I thought you were more mature than how you're sounding on the phone. I mean, like, just because I said that I wanted to have kids doesn't mean I want to have them with you. We're going to have to have them somewhere, you know. Felicity, you have to understand, that's pretty intense first date conversation. It kind of just felt like the natural time to say it. I mean, he was talking about fertility and then the older lady was talking about how we would have gorgeous kids. So, I mean, it had already come up. So I thought it wouldn't hurt to bring it up.

I mean, i could understand that that seems understandable i mean the stars were like literally aligning for you guys to have kids together yeah i wouldn't go that far you know i mean i think y'all are making this to be like some weird disney film it was just like you know casual date you know and next thing i know i'm being like forced to sign a four-year contract oh Oh, my God. Now you're out of control. Yeah, I agree. Well, that's the thing, Melanie. You have to understand about guys.

We're stupid. So if you say, you know, I want to have babies soon, we just automatically assume you're talking about having them with us. Yeah, totally. That's self-involved. I don't know if that's stupid. But that's how men are. We just think that you're always talking about us.

Yeah. Yeah, and she had the old lady's approval, so I felt like she was ready to jump right into it. Jason, I mean, you don't even know what it's like to be me, okay? I don't want to be like an older mom in my 30s going to elementary schools and being the dinosaur mom. You mean Brooke? Brooke is in her 30s. Okay, I have to stop you. I have to stop you. I have to stop you. Melanie, Melanie, your 20s is supposed to be spent dating, figuring out who you are, partying, getting it all out of your system.

I mean, it's great if you want to have babies, but there's no rush. You're 24. That's the dinosaur in the room. I'm not trying to make this personal to you. I mean, it's just how I feel. And Jason, I just, I mean, that night I saw it in your eyes. I think you'd be a great dad. Oh.

Oh, my God. Jason, what do you think? You ready to put on the daddy pants? These are a lot of responsibility, and I'm still, like, enjoying my life. Well, you'll have at least nine months for the baby to grow to, like, get used to it. You guys, stop. All of us. Obviously, Melanie baby to grow to get used to it. You guys, stop. All of it. Obviously, Melanie's not trying to get pregnant immediately.

She's just trying to let you know what her... I actually wouldn't mind really soon, though. Oh, my gosh. Okay. Oh, my gosh. Not immediately, but soon. Yeah. Sooner than sooner.

Sooner than sooner. Okay. So maybe Jason was right. He wasn't blowing it out of proportion. Not now. Like 10 minutes from now. Yeah, so you guys see what I'm saying? I mean, it's just a lot to take in.

I mean, you know, a few hours of knowing this person, and, you know, she's already naming our kids off in her mind, you know? I haven't named all of them, just two, you know. Just kidding. It seems like a little bit of baby humor. Oh, my God. At least she's making light of the situation. That's good, Melanie.

So that was my plan and I wanted to share it with you, Jason. And I would like to see you again if you're up for it. Alright. That's a good offer. So with that in mind, Jason, would you like to go out with Melanie one more time? We will pay for it.

At least she's being honest with where she's at in life. You can give her that. Yeah, I mean, that's what she's into. And, you know, she's being honest. And I guess I'm going to have to be honest, too. I mean, I just I'm not ready to get into that right now. I just think it'd be a big waste of time. I'm sorry, Melanie.

It looks like we can't convince Jason to give you another shot. OK, well, I mean, Jason, if you have like we can't convince Jason to give you another shot. Okay. Well, I mean, Jason, if you have any friends who are mature enough to settle down and done playing games, I mean, you can send them my way. You know, I actually do know some guys that are a little older that, you know, maybe you could get along with really great. You know, they've got telescopes, too. Well, I'm not interested in like dinosaur men, so if they're not too old, I mean, you can let me know.

Okay, so, I mean, this is kind of successful. Jason's going to hook up Melanie with one of his mature friends. And Melanie, I would like you to name that third child after the morning show, please. Maybe, I'll think about it. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning john stewart is back in the

host chair at the daily show which means he's also back in our ears on the daily show ears edition podcast join late night legend john stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines exclusive extended interviews and more now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Emi Olea, host of the podcast Crumbs. For years, I had to rely on other people to tell me my story. And what I heard wasn't good.

You really f***ed last night. It felt like I lived most of my life in a blackout. I was trapped in addiction. You had to grab the lamp and smash it against the walls. And then I decided I wanted to tell my own story. Listen to Crumbs on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Happy holidays from me, Michael Rapaport, and my gift to you is a free subscription to the I Am Rapaport Stereo Podcast, where I discuss entertainment, sports, politics, and anything and everything that catches my attention. I am here to call it as I see it,

and there's a whole lot of things catching my eyes these days. Listen to the I Am Rappaport Stereo Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, and wherever you get your podcasts.