Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update PODCAST: STD Text Mistake

Episode Date: October 20, 2017

If you ever send a text to the wrong person, you should do EXACTLY what Dennis did. He may not have gotten a second dat, but he still left with a win!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money Podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch

your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors,

it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The forces shaping markets and the economy are often hiding behind a blur of numbers. So that's why we created The Big Take from Bloomberg Podcasts, to give you the context you need to make sense of it all. Every day in just 15 minutes, we dive into one global business story that matters. You'll hear from Bloomberg journalists like Matt Levine. A lot of this meme stock stuff is, I think, embarrassing to the SEC. Follow The Big Take podcast on

the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. Need LASIK? Trust the experienced team at the LASIK Center at Evergreen Eye Center. No glasses, no contacts, no limits. What will you do? LASIK at evergreen.com. Moving 92.5. Rook and Jubal's Second Date Update. It's easy to miscommunicate via text message

because you can't tell people's tone. Like sometimes you get a text message, you don't put a smiley face in the right spot. It's like, oh man, do they think I'm mad at them now? Or the other day when I texted my friend who owes me some money and I said, hey, I'm going to kill you and your entire family if you don't pay me. What?

Again, didn't hear the tone. Oh. Didn't hear the tone. And then next thing I'm explaining to the cops Like it's just a big miscommunication I probably shouldn't say anything else about it Because I've got a court date coming up So I probably shouldn't talk about that anymore

But it is hard to tell things via text message And Dennis, who's on the phone with us Thinks that he might have screwed up his chances With a girl named Jordan because of a texting error We'll find out about that in just a second But first, Dennis, what's up? Hello. Hello.

Before we get into the texting thing, let's just talk about the girl that you want to call. What's her name? Her name is Jordan. Cool. Where'd you meet lovely Jordan? I met her at a bar. Oh, nice. Okay. So is the date that you want to talk about at the bar where you met her or you went out somewhere else?

Well, I saw her and met her at the bar and then we hung out there for like an hour. And then I've been hoping to get like an official date, but this is sort of like the introduction date. Like an insta-date right away. Okay. What was that like? I mean, did you approach her? Did she approach you? I was at the bar with a group of friends and it was my turn to get the round of drinks. So I go up to the bar and I see this very beautiful woman. It's Jordan. Oh, that's good. I'm glad it wasn't somebody else. She was standing behind Jordan and I was like, wow, I got to talk to her. And then unfortunately, Jordan started talking. I was like, I guess I'll

just deal with these scraps. Okay, so you went to get drinks, and then that's when you saw her. Yeah. I saw her. I complimented her on her shoes, and I asked, what are you drinking? And she said, I'm having a Cosmo. And I said, oh, that sounds good. I think I'll have one, too. And so I got two. Really? A Cosmo? Okay. Yeah. I mean, I don't normally drink Cos you know i i just kept going back to the bar and kept ordering myself cosmos and did you buy her cosmos too though i'm just making sure uh just the first one okay okay and then other than that you seem like you're a

cosmo like alcoholic at that point yeah i mean it looked kind of weird. And she called me out on it. That's cute. Yeah, she was like, you know, are you a big Cosmo drinker? And I was like, yeah, I mean, I drink Cosmos all the time. Yeah, Cosmos for life, man. And then she was like, really? And I was like, no, not really. I normally drink beer.

But it was a good excuse to talk to you. Oh, that's cute. And smart. And it seems sincere. What was her response to that? She thought it was pretty cute. She's like, oh, I mean, that's weird, but it's nice. You're weird, but nice. Yeah, that's always a good compliment.

Hey, weirdo, but I still think you're a good person. You had an enjoyable conversation with her, though. Yeah. I mean, and then on the third trip, I offered to buy her another one. And I sort of ditched my friends and sat next to her. Okay.

And your friends, of course, were watching this whole thing and egging you on. Yeah. No, they were very cool about it. They know I'm pretty shy in these kind of things. And so they were just like, thumbs up. I mean, after three Cosmos, nobody's shy anymore. Yeah, it took about three to get me to do it. Yeah.

So how did the night end for you guys? I mean, she said she had to go meet some friends. And I was like, oh, a boyfriend? And she was like, no, I'm meeting with a girlfriend. I was like, oh, fantastic. I'd love to, you know, hang out with you sometime. And we exchanged numbers. And that was that. We texted a girlfriend. I was like, oh, fantastic. I'd love to hang out with you sometime. And we exchanged numbers. And that was that. We texted a bit afterwards. Okay. And is that when the texting mistake happened that you talked about in your email?

Yeah. So basically, I have another friend named Jordan, and he's a guy friend. And I just mixed up the texts. I, well, he messaged me that he went out with a new girl last night. And I joked, I texted him and said, you should probably get an STD check. They're like $75. Wait, and that went to her? Please tell me you texted that to her. Yeah.

What did she write back? Like, why? Was she even talking to you? The first response was like, dot, dot, dot. Yeah. Yeah. And I was just like, when I realized my mistake, I was like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. That was a joke.

I have another friend named Jordan. Totally did not mean to send that. And it just made me look more and more guilty. Yes. She totally thinks that you're writing to some girl telling her that she needs to go get an STD check because she slept with you. Yeah. Yeah. All right.

Well, I can see why she's not going out on a date with you. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, so it doesn't look good. And so that's why I've contacted you guys because she seems really great. And I feel like I would be missing out

If I didn't try to Give her an STD No, go on a date with her Oh, okay You're clean though, right? Whatever you had in the past, you've gotten taken care of I've never had anything I'm very clean

It's time to live, Dennis It's time to live Play a song, come back had anything. I'm very clean. Okay. It's time to live. It's time to live, Dennis. It's time to live. Alright, well we'll play a song, come back, call her, and see if we can get you another date in your second date update, okay? Okay. Dude, look what you just made me do.

Moving 92.5 Brooke and Jubal in the Morning. Second Date Update. Today's second date update is a lesson to always double check your text messages before you send them. It's a good lesson in life. Yeah, you send some missed texts sometimes. Usually there's something you can get out of unless, of course, you're telling your date that she should go get an STD check.

And probably hard to talk your way out of that one, right, Dennis? Yeah. If you're just joining us, Dennis is on the phone. He wants to call a girl named Jordan. They met at a bar. He was drinking a bunch of Cosmos to try to impress her because that's what she was drinking. And then they talked for about an hour.

They exchanged numbers, and that was it. That was their date. But they were texting back and forth after, and his buddy named Jordan texted him and said that he had hooked up with somebody. And Dennis responded, you should go get an STD check now. It's like 75 bucks. But he sent it to the wrong Jordan.

The girl that he was talking to got that text and she stopped talking to him. So we're about to get her on the phone right now and see if we can explain and maybe get Dennis another date. I don't know that this is going to do any good, Dennis. I mean, like you said, you tried to explain already. And the more you explain, the more guilty you look. Now you're having us call her. I figure it's just a Hail Mary. You know, like, meeting her, she's just so beautiful.

Definitely out of my league. I'm just doing what I can. Now, I could call her and pretend like I'm from a doctor's office and say, hey, we haven't seen you yet for your STD check. I'd like to get you in here. No, please don't do that. Yeah, that's a good choice, Dennis. All right, well, I'll dial her phone number right now, see if we can get her on the phone, okay? Okay.

All right, here we go. Hello? Hi, can I speak to Jordan, please? This is Jordan. Hey, what's up, Jordan? How are you? This is Jubal from Brooke and Jubal in the morning. I'm fine. How are you? Not too bad.

What's going on today with you, Jordan? What do you mean? I don't know. You running errands or something? You got laundry to do? That's not why we're calling. I mean, I have work tonight, but why are you guys calling me? Sorry. You recently met a dude named Dennis.

Dennis? Yeah. You met a guy named Dennis at a bar the other day, right? He can throw back Cosmos like a champ. Oh, my God. Impressed. You were impressed, weren't you? I mean, with Cosmos, sure.

Yeah, of course. It takes a man to be able to throw down like five or six Cosmos in one sitting, you know? Something like that, I guess. I mean, what's the point? Why are you talking about Dennis? Well, Dennis listens to our show, and we do a segment on our show called The Second Date Update. So Dennis emailed us because he says that you've kind of trailed off a little bit, and he wants to know if he did something wrong.

Oh, God. I mean, did he tell you what he texted me? He did. And have you gotten checked? That's not the right question, Jubal. No, no, didn't feel it necessary to get checked. Oh, my God. No, he told you that he texted me about the STD check.

Yeah. Yeah, and he told us he tried to explain it, but he feels like you think he was lying. Well, I mean... Yes. Yes. I told him I would feel the same way like anybody who's going to get that text from a basically he's a stranger i mean you spent one hour with him like why would you believe him yeah no i mean that's that's exactly right so and then there was like the rest of the stuff that he said so

like when he was the stuff that he said when he was trying to tell you that it was meant for his friend Jordan instead of you, you mean? No, no, like, after that. Like, there was, like, a lot more that he said. What? About what? He told us that he sent you that STD joke, and then he was, like, trying to over-explain,

and it seemed like he was lying. That's all he told us. Oh, yeah. I mean, it got, got like way worse after that. Like, I don't know what is up with him. Like, it was really weird. Wait, how can it get worse than you should go get an STD check that costs $75? Like, that seems as bad as it could get to me.

Oh, no. Like, he kept going. Like, he told me a whole bunch of stuff. Like what? So he sent, you know, the STD thing. Oh, my God, sorry. It was a joke. I'm a friend.

Blah, blah. And then he started, without me asking, like, he was telling me basically, like, his sexual history. What? Wait, like, how many partners he's had and stuff? Yeah, like, exactly that. Like, he was like, oh, I, like, haven't really been with that many girls. And I was like, okay, like, that's fine. And he was like, it was only, like, three women that I've been with.

And he was like, and the first time, the first time I was a junior in high school, there was this girl, and I only got the second base. And then, like, you know, I didn't say anything. Because, like, I don't know. I feel like stuff like that, that's, like, not something you necessarily just tell someone that you've just met. So, wait, like, he did, like, a novel of all of his sexual history back to junior high where he touched some girl's boobs? Oh, yeah. I mean, he was talking about, like, and, like, and the next time I was in college and I experimented with a girl, I was like, okay.

What were you texting back to him in the middle of all this? Like, why would he keep going? When he started going back, giving me all these really specific examples, I didn't say anything. Like, I didn't know what to say. I was just kind of, like, sitting there. Like, I would start typing, like, oh, that's cool. But I didn't send it. So I'm assuming, like, he just kept going.

And then he was like, and the only other woman that I ever did something with, she was much older, and we didn't go all the way. I was, like, really intimidated. And, again, I didn't know what to do. Like what, what, what a single person like that. I think he was trying to tell you that he wasn't experienced enough to get an STD, even though it only takes one person to give you an STD. But I think that I'm guessing that was him trying to say, see, I'm innocent.

Look how inexperienced I am. That's exactly what I was trying to say. Hang on, Dennis. You're not supposed to talk yet. Wait, is that Dennis on the line? Yeah, he's on the phone listening and wants to talk to you. Yeah, Jordan, I'm trying to be honest and open. That text was so embarrassing that, you know, I felt like I need to explain myself. And, you know, you responded with dot, with dot dot dot and i thought that just meant explain yourself and so you know i just wanted to put your mind at ease i guess i mean i just wanted to like explain my entire history to say like the chances of me getting std are like next to none in fact they're not well it's like you have to know how weird that is.

Like it's very strange to give away that much specific information to someone you just met about your personal history. I mean, I'm very excited, you know. You're very beautiful. You're definitely out of my league. So I just, you know, I'm a little inexperienced, and I feel like I gave the wrong message with that initial

text. Sounds like you gave the whole message. Yeah, it wasn't the initial text, Dennis. I think that's the thing, is it's all of the text afterwards are I think the nail in the coffin for you. But I was very open and honest. You gotta give me that. You do have to give him credit for that, Jordan. That is

missing, I feel like, in today's world. I do. I think so. Did you have fun with him at the bar? I mean, at the bar, yes, but it's just too much, man. It's way too much. And, Jordan, you've got to give him credit because I would be mortified if all of this information was coming out. And he seems cool with everything, you know?

You seem like you're pretty solid in who you are, at least, Dennis. I am solid. You know, I'm nice. I'm honest. I'm very open. And, you know, I'm just not very sexually experienced. I think we know that now. I'm nice, honest, and not very sexually experienced.

That's the kind of dude that I think you should go out with again, Jordan. Would you like to go out on another date with Dennis? We will pay for it. I don't know. I mean, sure, I appreciate Dennis, too, like an honest guy, but I'm sorry, he's just too, like, socially awkward. Like, he just doesn't know what to say, I guess, in, like, a romantic situation. And quite frankly, that's just not really something I'm looking for, you know?

Like, I don't have a desire to be like romantic teacher dating person for someone. Like, I'm sorry, but it's just not, it's not what I want. But if I got better at it, would you be open to revising that statement? Wow. And how do you plan on getting better at it, Dennis? Yeah. I mean, I'll just practice. Like, I can meet other people, but, you know, you seem really terrific.

And if I just circle back. He's so awkward. I feel like Dennis is going to get arrested in some prostitution ring. I mean, Dennis, like, very sweet of you. I'm very flattered that you've taken such an interest in me, but I won't pretend like I know the future, but I just get the feeling this is just not it for me. Okay.

Oh. But maybe, like, if you wanted to use me as a booty call or something. There you go, Jordan. Oh, man. Hey, doesn't that turn you on, Jordan? Aren't you ready for that? The thought of a very inexperienced man in my bed. Dude.

You know, sure. Why not? If I ever felt like it someday, maybe I'll call you for a booty call. That's awesome. That's great. I mean, I am totally into that. If you ever want to.

Oh, my God. I'm just, my door is always open. Oh, man. And I bet he's good at dirty talk, too. Yeah. Broken Jubal in the morning. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help.

That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight

straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast edition podcast dive into john's unique take on the biggest topics in politics entertainment sports and more joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors and with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else ready to laugh and stay informed listen on the iheartartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or you the context you need to make sense of it all. Every day in just 15 minutes, we dive into one global business story that matters.

You'll hear from Bloomberg journalists like Matt Levine. A lot of this meme stock stuff is, I think, embarrassing to the SEC. Follow The Big Take Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen.