Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update PODCAST: The Glass Blowa

Episode Date: October 17, 2016

In today's Second Date Update, one of our listeners (Jared) believes he is a comedy genius!! While cracking jokes during a date is fine...Jared may have taken it WAY too far...And now he's not getting a call back!! Find out the gag that made the date terrible...Hear the podcast!!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

John Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

1.4 billion dollars in NFL quarterback contracts. The untold stories behind the biggest deals in football history. I'm A.J. Stevens, Vice President of Client Strategy at Athletes First, introducing the Athletes First Family Podcast,

the quarterback series. My co-host Brian Murphy, Athletes First CEO, and I are sitting down with the agents who have negotiated contracts for Justin Herbert, Deshaun Watson, Dak Prescott, Tua Tugnavailoa, and Jordan Love. Listen to Athletes First Family Podcast on the iHeartRadio Watson, Dak Prescott, Tua Tugnavailoa, and Jordan Love. Listen to Athletes First Family Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I'm Emi Olea, host of the podcast Crumbs. For years, I had to rely on other people to tell me my story. And what I heard wasn't good. You really f***ed last night. It felt like I lived most of my life in a blackout. I was trapped in addiction. You had to grab the lamp and smash it against the walls. And then, I decided I wanted to tell my own story.

Listen to Crumbs on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Moving 92.5 R Brooke and Jubal's Second Date Update You remember being a little kid you're in school and you're coloring something in your coloring book and then

you see the girl that you like and you know that she's coloring something too. So you walk over to her and you figure it's a good opportunity to bond over something. And then you look at what she's coloring and you say to her, That's terrible! You're the worst colorer in this class! You should stop right now! Mine is way better! Hoping that you could just break her confidence down enough so that she would like you.

That is actually how little boys do it, which is strange. That's still a thing in the adult world. Yeah, also not surprising. Because Jared sent us an email to do a second date update today, and apparently he met the girl that he wants to call while coloring. What? Jared, how do you meet a girl while coloring?

Well, my buddy Robbie told me that there was a meet-up group at a local bar, and he said, we should just get wasted and start coloring. It's a great way to meet chicks you went to one of those adult coloring nights yeah i mean there's there's adult everything now there's like adult camps all these things we did when we were kids now i guess my generation we're doing it as adults but just getting drunk and it's a lot more fun i'm guessing you were the

only men there we weren't the only men there. We weren't the only men there. We may have been the only degenerates there, but there were other men there. And did you hit on her the same way that I described? You walk up to her and just rip on her coloring abilities a little bit? I did not rip on her coloring abilities. I actually saw her at the bar. I walked on over to her, and when I was getting my pint,

I looked over and she was actually drawing a pretty amazing dragon. This actually sounds like it's more fun than I thought. He's wasted. There's a dragon. She was drawing this fantastic-looking dragon. I just knew this chick was an artist. She had tattoos on her and stuff. She definitely knew what she was doing. You're like, well, you can stay in the lines, ma'am, and that is a turn-on to me.

So how did you strike up a conversation with her? Well, I looked over to her, and I said, that's a nice dragon you've got there. And she looked at me a little funny, and I said, could you help me out? I'm not as good of an artist as you, so I asked her if I could borrow her purple. I ran out. What? Nice. You asked her to borrow a crayon?

So you took her purple crayon home with you. No, I didn't take it home. I don't want to get arrested or anything. I'm going to steal from this girl right away. Right away. Eventually you'll steal something from her, but not right now. Eventually. You guys sound like, I mean, you sound like you were pretty drunk. Yeah. Was she as well?

Oh, I was. she was nowhere near as drunk as i was she was maybe a little tipsy but uh but she was okay she was more of a lady than i was a gentleman did it seem like she liked you a lot though it did i mean when we first started talking it seemed like we were really hitting it off very well and eventually i asked her if she wanted to go to a different bar that wasn't coloring then we could actually talk and get to know each other. We went. Wait, that night you guys did or you went on a date later?

That night we went out to a different bar. Oh, nice. And how was the other bar? By the time we got to the second bar, we started talking about her job, what she does for a living, and maybe she was weirded out by the fact that I really like that she's a glassblower. I mean, how many glassblowers do you know? I was really excited about it. I don't know any glassblowers. I don't know

any either. Yeah, I just, I thought that was the coolest thing in the world and maybe I talked about it for too long or something. Did you get too excited about it? Creepy. I mean, I was talking to her about blowing glass and I may have said like an offhanded remark about how good of a blower

she is. Oh, God. She doesn't hear that all the time. I'm sure she does. I was just trying to be cute. Did you guys hang out all night? We hung out for probably a good three, four hours. We probably left around midnight. Oh, wow.

And it wasn't a hookup, though? No, I asked her if she wanted to do anything else or go back to maybe my place or something. And she said, no, maybe not now, but give me a call sometime. Okay. Now, you're retelling this story, and you keep bringing up the fact of how wasted you were. Do you think you have an honest portrayal of how the night really went? Oh, definitely. I remember exactly what happened.

I was a little too drunk at the first bar, but then by the time we got to the second bar, I was like, you know what, this girl's really cute. I should probably slow down and sober up so I can remember everything she's saying. Wow, that is, that's amazing. That's responsible. I've never heard of you. That has never happened in my life. Anytime I've been drunk around a girl that I thought was cute, I'm like, I better get drunker so I can be smooth. Smooth like jagged rocks. Yeah, I'm very impressed with you, Jared. So have you reached out and talked to her since that night? I have.

I've tried to call her a few times. It's been about, I'd say, a little over a week since that date, and I've tried to call her a bunch of times, and she always makes up some excuse, and I figured I could use some help with this. I really like her, and I want to talk to her again. Okay, well, play a song, come back, call her, and get your second date update, all right?

All right, thank you, guys. Hey, man, hang on. Moving 92.5. Brooke and Jubal in the morning. Second date update. As the old saying goes, the way to a woman's heart is by making off-color remarks about her job. So, Jared is on the phone for a second date update,

and he's obviously confused why he's not getting a call back from a girl named Layla. They met at an adult coloring night at a bar, and they hung out for a little while. He thinks he's probably not getting a call back because he made a rude remark about her job. She's a glassblower by trade, and so he made a joke about that,

and I'll let you use your imagination as to what he was talking about. Again, she's a glassblower and he made a joke. We get it. And so he thinks that she didn't like that. And that's why she's not calling him back. We're about to get her on the phone. Jared, you ready? Yes, sir.

And I didn't hear Jared after you made the joke and it obviously fell flat. Did you apologize? She just like changed the subject. I didn't feel a need to apologize. I felt like we should move on. Okay. You didn't keep going back to it, though, did you? Did you hear me, though?

Yeah. I don't think so. I just, she moved on to something else. We started talking about her tattoos. Okay, cool. All right, well, I'll dial her phone number right now, see if we can get her to answer and get your second date update, okay? Thank you.

Yep, here we go. Hello? Can I speak to Layla, please? Yeah, this is she. Can I ask who's calling? Sure you can. Okay, who's calling? Oh, Jubal from Brooke and Jubal in the Morning. Who? Jubal from Brooke and Jubal in the Morning. It's a radio show. It's always funny to me.

What is all of, what's all that? That is Brooke and Jose and me, Jubal from Brooke and Jubal in the Morning. It's a radio show. Okay. Hi, everybody. Hi. Still not putting it together, are you? What's going on? Well, I'm calling you today because we actually got an email about you from one of our listeners. His name is Jared.

Okay. And Jared told us about the night that you guys met. Did he? Yeah. And he said that he really liked you and he's been trying to get a hold of you for a second date, but you keep saying you're busy. Yeah, he called me last night and I ignored his call. Yeah, he said that you've been ignoring all of his calls. Is there a particular reason?

It just wasn't what I thought it was. Could you just tell him you didn't reach me or something? Well, I mean, can you give me anything specific that I can tell him? Look, he told us that you're a glassblower, right? Oh, yeah. He mentioned that? Yeah, he did. Great job, by the way.

That's really cool. But he said that he also made a really bad joke about blowing things, and he thinks that that's the reason you're not calling him back. Uh, I mean, among other things. Was it, I mean, like, that was bad. It made me roll my eyes. Did he just come off kind of like a bro? I mean, yeah, he was just really immature. Like, that joke, whatever, probably like 90% of the people

that find out what I do make that joke, and then we move on. But, like, I don't know. It know it got weird well what do you mean immature like okay so he told you about all the coloring like that's that was a coloring night yeah he said you were really good at it I am good and I love it it's relaxing to me it's something that brings me joy and we at one point later in the night like traded coloring books to look at each other's work. And I'm going through his and come across like a deer with female parts drawn onto it. Oh, that's good. Well, I would go with other female parts, Jose.

Well, what are we talking about? What parts were drawn on it? Why do you guys need to know the specifics? I don't know. You're right. It's funny. I'm not going to tell you. You can use your imagination.

So it was basically like a deer-human hybrid that he had drawn. Yeah, a very inappropriate one. Okay. And it's children's coloring books. And I started flipping through the next page and the next page, and every single cute, cuddly animal, I kid you not, had some sort of inappropriate addition. That's awesome. You didn't find that funny? I would have laughed.

I mean, yeah, like 10 years ago, but I enjoy coloring. It really like it means something to me. I'm an artist and like, sorry, I'm not interested in dating a 12 year old boy. Maybe he thought you would think it was funny too. Don't you think? Yeah. I mean, he kept looking over at me like, ah, isn't this hilarious? As he's like going through my drawing, like I, it was so every single page that he's done it too. He's like, oh man, this one, it's the same joke as the last page, except this one's on a rabbit. The other one was a beaver.

I kid you not. He said to me at one point, hey, look at this giraffe. Guess what's longer than its neck? Oh, my gosh. I'm not kidding. I still don't get it, though, because he said that you guys hung out for like three or four hours that night. Like, why?

I mean, we did. It's not like there was anybody else there. Like, we were drinking and laughing and having fun. Like, I don't know. Honestly, it just wore on me. Like, over the course of the night, he kept calling me the glassblower. Like, he was British. I don't even know.

He was so excited that I was a glassblower and thought I was so, like, medieval or whatever. And just so obnoxious, you guys. Okay. Well, I have some news for you, glassblower. Jared is actually on the other line and wants to talk to you. Oh my god, are you guys serious? Yeah. Jared, you there?

Yes, I am here. And hello to you, glassblower. He's not stopping with it. Jared, she didn't like that you kept calling her that i wouldn't continue it come on she thought it was funny she laughed every time i called her glassblower it made me laugh but i don't know if for the same reasons i mean honestly dude it was really obnoxious i was laughing more at my life and the circumstances that brought me to that moment. You could have fooled me.

You seemed like you were enjoying yourself. After all those drinks I was buying, you seemed like a really condescending b****, I can tell you. Whoa! Wow. I mean, did you not wonder why I kept needing another drink? Jared, that was intense, man. Why are you name-calling all of a sudden?

Because I was doing a nice thing. I was taking this girl out to another bar, and we were having a good time, and now she's saying that I'm acting like a 12-year-old, and that... You know, you didn't even ask about any of those things. You just laughed along, and on the inside, you hated my drawing. Jared, in her defense, what is she supposed to ask you

about drawing genitalia on woodland creatures? If it was so offensive to you, why didn't you say anything? Not to mention half of those were my buddy Rob's anyway, which you didn't even care to ask about. He's offended. Well, who's defensive about the drawings? I mean, I'm sorry I didn't know that half of them were your buddy Rob's,

but the second I saw them, it became pretty clear to me that you were not somebody I could have a conversation with. And like, you know, what why did you continue to have a conversation with me for the next four or five hours? Well, I wanted to be out that night. It was my one night out a week. And like, you know, whatever, it was fine. But I don't want to pursue it again. You know what I mean? I just don't feel like seeing you again, which is why I avoided your calls. And now I'm on the radio. Like, what? What are you thinking? Wow, my God, I thought you're way more fun than this. I guess sober. You are just obnoxious. Wow. How can you not own up to any of that? Like showing a girl a bunch of boobs and other parts and then glassblower joke. Like, the whole thing is pretty obnoxious. God, you too? What is it with you guys? We were

getting wasted at a bar and coloring in coloring books. This must be fun. Yeah! No, this is serious stuff, Jared. Well, apparently, for the girl that has Tolstoy written on her arm, it must be pretty f***ing serious. Listen. Alright.

It sounds like what you need is some 21-year-old co-ed who's going to go do shots off of you at a bar. And, like, maybe you guys can color on each other with markers or something. That's just not something I'm interested in, okay? You know who you should be dating? Some 50-year-old college professor with erectile dysfunction who wears nothing but tweed jackets every day. Great. If I can have a conversation with him, I'm set.

Oh, my God. All right, well, it looks like you two have figured out your type at least, but I still have to ask the question. Layla, would you like

to go on a second date with Jared? We will pay for it. Yeah, I'm good. No, for sure? Oh, shocker. It sounds like you were right on the fence.

Oh, it does, doesn't it? Yeah, I hope to never see him again unless, you know, like, I need some boobs put on the glass I blew. You know what? This really was eye-opening to me. I don't need to date this girl ever again. Thank you guys for doing this for me.

I guess I just need a college girl that has no brains in her head at all, right? Yeah, please. Enjoy. Just don't call me anymore, okay? I will, glassblower woman. Enjoy your life, glassblower woman. Glassblower woman. Yes, yes, you're very witty.

Thank you so much for facing us. You are the glassblower woman. Blow away. Blow away. Thank you so much for your wit. Glassblower. Glassblower! Broken Jubal in the morning.

Text message in at 78592 says, OMG, that dude is hilarious. I totally would go out with him. Another one that says, I have a great sense of humor, and that guy is annoying. Yeah, totally. Of course, that's about today's second date update. Jared wanted to call a girl named Layla.

They met at an adult coloring night at a bar. People are doing that now where you go and color. And she was a glassblower. That was the thing that impressed him the most. You can't even say it normally anymore because of him. Apparently he loved the fact that she was a glassblower so much that he kept saying it over and over again. That was really annoying.

But the reason that she really didn't want to go out with him was she looked at his coloring that he did that night, and he didn't really color anything. He just drew genitalia on all the pictures. Him and his buddy. And she thought he was immature. Well, it's,

it's funny if you're hanging out with your drinking buddy. It's not funny if it's a guy that you want to date, you know, like somebody else texted in at seven, eight, five, nine, two said,

I just want to see his pictures. I do too. Actually, I'm really curious. Remember if you want a second date update, all you have to do is email the show and we will call the person who didn't call you back. Moving 92.5. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears

with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. 1.4 billion dollars

in NFL quarterback contracts. The untold stories behind the biggest deals in football history. I'm A.J. Stevens, Vice President of Client Strategy at Athletes First. Introducing the Athletes First Family Podcast. The Quarterback Series. My co-host Brian Murphy, Athletes First CEO

and I are sitting down with the agents who have negotiated contracts for Justin Herbert, Deshaun Watson, Dak Prescott, Tua Tugnavailoa, and Jordan Love. Listen to Athletes First Family Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Emi Olea, host of the podcast Crumbs.

For years, I had to rely on other people to tell me my story. And what I heard wasn't good. You really f***ed last night. It felt like I lived most of my life in a blackout. I was trapped in addiction. You had to grab the lamp and smash it against the walls. And then I decided I wanted to tell my own story. Listen to Crumbs on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.