Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update PODCAST: The Return of Guru

Episode Date: February 20, 2013

Ladies and Gentleman... Guru is BACK, looking for love in all the wrong places! Step into Guru's cafeteria and see if we can FINALLY get our favorite dude a second date! Listen to the PODCAST. (Image Courtesy: ZakVTA. Creative Commons)See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else.

Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. She's just a girl, but she's on fire. Moving 92.5. Brooke and Jubal's Second Date Update. This is the second date update first. Huh? Yep, something that has never happened before in a second date update since we've been doing this.

A repeat second dater. What? Okay. I don't even know the person's name. Is it Guru? I hope it's Guru. That's the first thing I was going to ask. All Producer Boyd did was say, hey, we're going to do this second date update now. I can't tell you who it is, but it's someone who we've talked to before.

Oh, my God. You're going to be really disappointed if it's not Guru. Sorry, guys. Who else would still not know why people aren't calling them back? So who's on the phone? Who is this? Guru! Oh, man.

Guru! It's really him! Guru is back. What's up, man? How you doing? Gosh. I miss you guys. We have missed you, let me tell you. You know, Guru, you get more reaction from people just falling in love with you when they hear your voice than any of us on this show.

Guru inspires. Amen, amen, Guru. People feel a need to talk. People feel a need to express themselves. Yeah, they do, man. We get text messages every day. Somebody mentions your name, Guru, since you did a second date update with us. Well, Guru loves everybody, so you text them back.

With all the love and praise that you get, I'm surprised that we're seeing you back here from another, perhaps, date gone wrong? Failed date? Well, Guru doesn't use the word failure. Yeah, that's right. I missed you guys. I really did. Yeah, we missed you. I didn't text anyone.

I don't text a lot, but I would have texted you guys to say I missed you guys. Oh, thanks, Guru. We felt that. We did. So tell us, did you go out on another date after you came on our show? Yeah, I met a woman named Debbie. Uh-huh. I met Debbie at the community center.

Oh. All right. Okay, cool. I was going to work out, and then I saw a health class, so I walked in, and she's beautiful. It was beautiful. He just wandered into a health class. So you learned a lot, and you met Debbie. Did you ask Debbie out immediately?

Pretty quickly. It was hard during the class because she was trying to focus on the teacher. Yeah. And I was trying to talk to Debbie and ask her out, and I said, you look really healthy to me. I would like to take you out. And when the class ended, she agreed to it. Hey, that's a great pickup line.

It is. You look healthy. You look healthy. You look healthy. You've already been drinking your milk. Where did you guys go? What did you do with her? I took her to the art museum, the Seattle Art Museum. All right.

That's a great date, Guru. How'd the date go? It was amazing. The pictures, pictures of plants. I love the museum. It's like taking a bath. It's better sometimes. Right?

I agree. And then there was a picture of a bottle of water Not a plastic bottle But like a glass bottle of water There was the sun shining through it Amazing I see what you're saying guru It was nice man

It inspired you Did Debbie love the museum as much as you did? I think she did I think she did I mean she's beautiful i turned her upon me and i said i would put you on the wall beautiful yeah beautiful things i said debbie i would put you on my wall and what did debbie say to you after you said that to her guru she didn't say anything okay so have you heard from

her since guru no the date ended and i said well we should get something to eat because i thought it was going well but she said she had to meet a friend she had to be somewhere right right so um so we had a hug we had a nice artistic hug outside you had an artistic hug outside. What does that even mean? Just cultured sharing kind of hug. Yeah, yeah. Guru, I know exactly what you mean. The kind where your hearts kind of meld and you feel each other. Exactly.

It's heart on heart. See, I know Guru. Guru, can I ask, is there anything you learned from your last second date update that you changed on this date? I didn't wear the shades. Yeah, that's good. this date? I didn't wear the shades. Yeah, that's good. That's good. Don't wear the shades inside the art museum. It was hard.

I tried to say bam less after I told jokes. Because if anybody wasn't listening to the second date update the first time you were on, you like to tell jokes and you like to say bam after it. What's the reason? I like to include people. Guru's inclusive. So if I tell you a joke, I say bam so we both know it's funny. Exactly. I'm glad you you a joke, I say, bam, so we both know it's funny. Exactly.

Yep, yep. I'm glad you lessened that, Guru. And I agree with that technique, Guru. I do. I like it. But I still try to be inclusive. Guru still says it's me and you together right now. Yeah.

Jokes or not. Right. And you had a beautiful time at the museum with her, and then she said she had to leave, and she hasn't called you back. Yeah. No calls. Yeah. No calls at all. You should see

the text messages coming in right now, man. People love you, Guru. Well, Guru loves Guru, but it'd be nice if Debbie loved Guru, too. All right. Maybe she's

something unhealthy. She's hiding. I don't know. Hey, Guru, you never know, man. You never know. She's hiding? No, you don't know.

You don't. I can't look inside people. Exactly. You can look at me. You can look at me i'm very expressive sometimes my face says more than my mouth yeah so you never know that's why guru i'm going to put you on hold and then we're going to play a song and we're going to come back and we're going to call her okay and get your second date update all right Guru's here. All right. Hold on. Moving 92.5. Brooke and Jubal in the morning. Second date update. I've never seen people so excited for a second date update before.

On the text boards, everywhere, people are freaking out because Guru is back with us. You ready to call the girl, Debbie, that you went out with? I'm nervous. Who gets nervous? If people don't remember, the last time Guru was with us, we called the girl. She thought that you were, I mean, Guru, you are a very interesting character. Sometimes it's too many bites and chips. Guru's an armful.

Yeah. Not everyone can handle Guru. Yeah, yeah. There's only so much things you can put in your grocery cart when you go through the grocery store. Right, Guru? That's right. That's the cart that I get behind. That is right, Guru.

That's why I'm doing the Guru cart, because I got a lot to offer. I get you, man. I do. So you went out with a girl named Debbie. You guys went to the art museum, shared a hug after, and she just hasn't called you at all, and you want to know why. Yes, because I would like to see Debbie again. Okay, now, Guru, if this ends like the last time where the girl doesn't want to go out with you again, are you going to be more upset? Guru's going to cross that bridge when he gets to it.

Okay, okay. I just want to prepare you for the worst, Guru. I don't like to see you disappointed. We'll try not to jump in the river before the water swells. Bam. Guru stays back, sees what happens, nice and calm, then we'll figure out a game plan. Calm, right? Calm would be an interesting word.

For that river when we get to it. Well, and you learned something last time, plan. Calm, right? Calm would be an interesting word. And you learned something last time, too, like you didn't say bam as much after jokes. I learned this morning when I woke up, I learned something. I learn something every day. I'm always learning. Guru's always learning, always getting better. See? Amen, Guru. That's why these second date updates are good for you, Guru. And for us, I feel like. Learning from you, Guru. I know you're going to call. I know you're going to call, Guru. And for us, I feel like. Learning from you, Guru. I know you're gonna call. I know you're gonna call, Guru. I'm so nervous.

Yep. I'm about... See? Guru, you and I get each other so well, I literally put my hand on the button to call her. So are you ready? Guru, take a deep breath, dude. We're in this together, Guru. Okay. Okay, Guru's ready.

You got this. Calling her right now. Come on, Debbie now Come on, Debbie Come on, Debbie Me and you I like how you're using the power of positive thinking, Guru Hello? Hey, is Debbie there? This is she

Debbie, how are you? This is Jubal from Brook and Jubal in the Morning I'm moving 92.5. You got a second? Okay. Hi. Hi. I'm calling you because we do a segment on our show called The Second Date Update.

It's where if someone goes out on a date with someone and then doesn't call them back, we call that person to ask why. So somebody emailed us about you. Okay. Any idea who that could be? Well, there's only one guy that I've seen recently that I did not call back, so I think I probably know who it is.

I'll let you go ahead and say his name. Well, I don't know his name, but he calls himself Guru. Yes. It's an excellent point, Debbie. It's an excellent point. Guru is a friend of the show. Oh, Guru. Yes. It's an excellent point, Debbie. It's an excellent point. Guru is a friend of the show. Oh, really?

Oh, God. Yes, he is. So you went out with our buddy Guru to the art museum. Yeah. Did you have a good time with him? Well, I mean, it was fun, but it was insane. What was the most insane moment for you, Debbie? I couldn't pick one, honestly.

Like, I've dated some funny guys before, but, like, he was literally walking around the museum yelling at the paintings. Now, what is he yelling at the paintings? Like, how gorgeous they were and everything else? Because he seems like a very expressive guy who gets caught up in the moment. I swear to God, three times a security guard had to tell him to be quiet. Debbie. 17-year-old security guard. Oh, man.

That sounds about right. I mean, I could laugh about it right now just thinking about it. Debbie, I want to tell you that Guru is on the phone with us, and he's been listening. Oh, God. Hi, Debbie. Hi, Debbie. Hi, Guru. I'm a good listener. I think you know I could be a good listener for you.

I think you'll know that I listen to you, not just your words. Between your words. Guru hears what you're thinking. Like, Guru knows. So, Guru, how did you feel with what Debbie had to say, though? It's hard for Guru to hear, but I know it's probably harder for her to say. It's not though. I can't.

Imagine going to a restaurant with you and you'd be like, Guru wants a pancake. I can't. I guess that's how you hear my voice, but I assume that's a positive voice in your head. Debbie, I had a really nice time with you. Guru had a great time, and I think we have an opportunity in front of us that's bigger than a date. No. You could be my best. Oh, God.

Guru, what are you looking for in a relationship? I want a companion. Guru wants a co-star. Guru wants a co-guru Guru wants a co-guru Guru doesn't need top billing Guru's ready to share it Look at that See if

We can be a two-person Ferris wheel Two-person Now Debbie You hugged me for 30 full seconds And then at the end when you let me go You said bam Sounds like Guru Because I could feel you were hiding something 30 full seconds, and then at the end, when you let me go, you said, bam! That sounds like Guru.

Because I could feel you were hiding something, Debbie. I knew you didn't have to be a friend, so I held on to you to help get it out of you. I was helping you share something. I was giving you a chance to do your part. See, Debbie, what Guru was doing was helping your heart connect. Guru needs a lot more woman. And I'm not saying you're not a lot of woman, Debbie, but do you understand what I'm saying? Well, no, but I actually think he needs the opposite. Like, he needs somebody who's just really demure and can just, like, soak up all that crazy.

And that's not me. Debbie, what you're saying is Guru needs somebody that'll let him be Guru. I think so. All right. Guru's gotta be guru. We're not trying to change it. And I want Brooke to be Brooke. I know. We know that, guru.

Jubal's gotta be Jubal. You're the best Jubal there's ever been. But I want to be guru. Alright, Debbie, we will send you guys out on a second date. We'll pay for it if you go out with guru again. Can we convince you to go out with Guru? Please.

He's awesome. No. I mean, you know, good luck, Guru, but I can't. Debbie, I wish you the best, and maybe I'll see you in class at the community center next week. Debbie's definitely not going to class at the community center next week. Debbie, thank you for your time. Appreciate you talking to Guru for us.

No problem. Have a great time, and good luck with everything else, okay? Bye. All right, bye, Debbie. Guru. Guru, buddy. Hey. What we learned is that Debbie wasn't the right person for you.

There's got to be someone. There's got to be someone. There's got to be someone. There is. And I know there is. I know there's somebody. There is, Guru. Of course there is, man. She wasn't right for you because her chi was all off.

You know what I mean? Like, her vibe was not there. I wasn't feeling it either, right? Sideways. Yeah, see? Sideways. Sideways. She had a sideways vibe.

And that's not what I want for you, Guru. What else did you learn? Did you learn anything else today? I learned I love you guys, and I can count on you guys. And you don't lie to Guru, and you shoot straight at Guru. That's right, Guru. Every day. We do love you, buddy.

Truth between the eyes every time I'm with you guys. And I can't tell you how much I appreciate that. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. You're going to find love, Guru. There's no doubt. Well, I hope. It's another Valentine's Day. Come and gone. Eh. Yeah, absolutely. You're going to find love, Guru. There's no doubt. Well, I hope. It's another Valentine's Day.

Come and gone. Eh, whatever, Guru. You know what? We'll get him next year. Guys, we'll get him next year. Get him next year. Yeah. You're a friend of the show for life.

You know that. I'm telling you that. Guru's a friend of the show for life. Yeah. No, you don't tell me that, Guru. I tell you that. Now we're telling each other that. We're on the same book.

We're on the same book. We're on the same book. Same page, same book. Same life, Guru. We are eating in the Guru cafeteria once again this week. You call us back anytime. We'll help you out, man. And don't stop looking for love. I never will.

Could be anywhere. It could be. Could be anywhere. You could open your closet today. There could be love in there. I hope love's not in his closet. Could be. Because love needs to call 911. love's not in his closet. Could be. Because love needs to call 911.

Guru, you have a good day, man. I love you. I'll talk to you soon, okay? All right. Bye. Take care. Talk to you soon. Bye.

Brooke and Jubal in the morning. Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them.

More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. And find them on Bumble. the How to Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money

on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups,

this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.