Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update PODCAST: The Sneezer

Episode Date: March 4, 2020

It's possible, when you're out on a first date, that the thing that betrays you the most is your OWN bodily functions... and now, it's up to Jubal to fix the problem his own BODY started... Find out what happened in this Second Date Update.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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The guy on the phone for a second date update today thinks he's not getting a call back because his date caught him in a very awkward situation. A situation that he did not want her to know about. This sounds like it's going to be embarrassing. Saw the whole thing, and now he thinks that ruined his date. We'll find out what that is in just a second. But first, let's talk to him a little bit more. Alan, what's up? How are you? I'm all right. How are you doing?

Good. Oh, my God. You're turning red right now just even thinking about what happened, aren't you? No. Yes. All right. We'll get to that awkward situation in just a second. But first, tell us a little bit about your date. What's her name? Erica. Erica. And where did you meet Erica?

I met her online. Okay. And have you been doing the online thing for a while, or is this one of your first goes at it? A little bit in the middle. It's not a first go, but I haven't, like some people, online every week, multiple dates. That's not me. So, you know, I've, I've, I've been around a little bit. Okay. So what struck you about Erica? Well, I thought her photo was adorable and, you know, I wanted to meet up with her just to make sure she was the, you know, how that is, make sure she's the gal in the photo kind of thing. So you weren't getting catfished. Yeah, exactly. So

I'm not meeting like, you know,, a man my father's age or something. And did she follow through? Did it look like her and she was, in fact, Erica? Yes. She's adorable, freckles, her giggle. I just, yes, I was pretty quickly, I went, this girl's pretty great. Good. Okay.

And where'd you guys go? What'd you do? So we found out that we work not far from each other, so in the middle of that, there's a hotel bar. So I'm like, that's cool. Let's meet up there. Nice. Informal.

No, not like that. And also kind of sketchy. Meet me at the hotel bar? That's what I was going to say. A little risky to be like, hey, you want to meet up at a hotel? Oh, weird. I happen to be staying here tonight. If you wanted to come up to my room for a few minutes.

You just slide your key card across the table to her? How'd that get there? That was not the intention. Did she know that wasn't the intention? I'm sure. It was one of those, I think she even suggested, I can't remember, but just kind of one of those informal things, and if things

aren't great, it's like, oh, you know what? I have to shoot back down to work kind of thing. You can get that little bail out. So that was kind of the big those informal things and if things aren't great it's like oh you know what i have to shoot back down to work kind of thing you know like you can get that little bail out so that was kind of a big idea you know okay and how was it it was great we talked and you set that you know that timer in your head like oh at this point i'm like oh my gosh we've been talking about an hour so after you know that first hour then i always suggest a movie. And she said, yeah. Oh, cool. So you guys went to the movies after? Nope. Okay, so she said no. No, she said yes,

but then that's when the awkward thing happened. You peed your pants because you were excited. What? No, but the restroom was involved. So I told her, okay, let's meet back in the lobby. Went around the corner, had to sneeze really bad. There was this tapestry thing hanging on the wall, sneezed all over it. Oh, what?

On accident or on purpose? No, it just hit me all of a sudden, and I reached for the only thing around, and there was this fabric hanging on the wall and sneezed into it. So you used a piece of the hotel as a handkerchief, basically. Well, I didn't know what to do. I mean, it was the first thing I could grab. It's right there. You know, you're not just going to sneeze on yourself.

So, yeah, that's what happened. See, I always go for a sleeve first, but apparently you're different. No, I mean, I guess the brain was probably like, look, you're not going to sneeze on myself because I'm going to see her in a couple minutes. So you don't want that all over your sleeve. Yeah. Gross. You're making it sound so mucusy. Well, yeah, it was.

I mean, it was bad. There was a lot of stuff. And then that's not it, though. Right then, she came around the corner and had seen that. She basically saw you blowing your nose on the hotel's furnishings yeah exactly so yeah you know yes yeah that would be that'd be a pretty big turn off if i saw that or any female saw that well yeah and then pretty quick it was like oh you know what it's later than i thought and you know we'll catch up again later and you know that kind of thing i'm like ah this is a blow off and so we hugged and i'm like let's catch that movie later and she said sure and you know i've texted

a couple times and either like yeah i'm real busy or i don't hear back from her so did she not want to see the movie did she see the whole sneeze thing like that's kind of my yeah i don't i don't think it was the movie that did you and i think think it was sneezing all over things. Oh, my gosh. I'm surprised she gave you a hug after the description you used. Well, there was nothing on my sleeves, at least. She knew that. Yeah. All right, well, play a song, come back, call her,

and get your second date update, all right? Great, yeah, thank you, please. Yeah, man, hang on. Moving 92.5. Brooke and Jubal in the Morning's Second Date Update. If you're just joining us for today's second date update, Alan is on the phone and he wants to call Erica. They met online, ended up going out for drinks at a hotel bar between where they both work,

and he says he thinks she's not calling him back because of an awkward moment where he said, let's go to a movie. And she was like, okay. And then he went to the bathroom, but he had a sneeze really bad on his way to the bathroom and ended up grabbing like a curtain in the hotel and sneezing all over that right when she came around the corner and saw him. And then after that, she was like, I don't want to go to a movie. And she hasn't called him ever since. So we're thinking that the sneeze did him in.

And you know what, Alan? In these second date updates, I've helped a lot of people get dates and had their back, like cheaters, a couple attempted murderers, I think. And honestly, I don't think I can have your back on this one if she says no because you sneezed.

That is just disgusting, sir. It is horrible. It is horrible. Everybody sneezes. Horrible. But everybody doesn't blow liquids into hotel curtains. Like, that's gross, dude. It was an accident. Yeah, but everybody doesn't blow liquids into hotel curtains. Like, that's gross, dude.

It was an accident. Like, it's a last minute, like, what are you going to do? So I didn't plan it out. It wasn't like, oh, here's a great idea. So there wasn't malicious intent here. Okay, I understand that. I never asked, though, what did you say to her when she came around the corner and saw you? I just tried to play it off like, well, this isn't the bathroom.

I can't find the bathroom kind of thing. Oh. Smooth. This isn't a roll of toilet paper. It looked like it. She thinks you're going to do other things on that than probably. No, she knew I was going to the bathroom. You know, like, it's always the bathrooms are farthest away from the door.

There's this curve around. Right. Yeah. All right. Well, I'm going to dial her phone number right now. You ready? Yes. Here we go.

Hello? Hi, can I speak to Erica, please? This is Erica. Hey, what's up, Erica? How are you? This is Jubal from Brook and Jubal in the Morning. It's a radio show. Did I win something?

Not really. Well, maybe. I don't know. We'll find out, I guess. I'm calling you because you recently went out on a date with one of our listeners, and they emailed us to see if we could get a hold of you. Okay. Yeah.

Weird, huh? So you might have won a date with this person, maybe. Oh. Yeah. Who's the mystery man? It's a segment we do on our show called The Second Date Update. So you recently went out with a dude named Alan. Oh. Yes, I did.

Not as excited anymore. No, not super excited. So you didn't like Alan? Sorry, I don't know if I want to talk to you guys about this. This is awkward. I know it's awkward, but Alan really wants to know why you're not calling him back because he said he enjoyed your date a lot and really felt like you guys connected. Oh, gosh.

Oh, that's sweet, isn't it? That's what it sounds like. Bless his heart he thought we connected. That was a, yeah, he read that really wrong type of response. Yeah, I think he kind of did. Honestly, it was, I mean, if I'm being honest, it was, I felt like the whole date was kind of just a bust from the start. Really? Why?

What, I mean, from the very beginning? Yeah, I just felt uncomfortable like the whole time we were together. It was just very awkward and uncomfortable. Dude. You guys were on

two separate dates then because he didn't feel that at all. He thought you guys were getting along perfectly. Yeah, he said that you guys were like connecting, talking about your families, sharing intimate details

of your lives together. We talked about that stuff because, I mean, what else are you going to talk about on a first date? Like, of course, you're going to say, you know, do you have any siblings? Where's your family from? Like, it's all just, you know, stupid small talk, but that doesn't mean we were connecting. According to him, it meant you were connecting. Oh, okay.

What did he do that made you feel so uncomfortable? Or what about the date made you feel uncomfortable? Um, I guess, I mean, you know those people who are, like, just close talkers? Oh, yeah. Yeah. He is one of them. He's just a really close talker. Oh.

So he just... He was like leaning in like super close to my face the whole time. Like literally I could feel the heat of his breath against my skin. That's the worst.

Everyone just felt that for you. Thank you. Thank you. Did it seem like he does that normally or was he doing it to you because he was trying to be sexy? That's an excellent question. I wish I knew. You know, I never met him before, so I don't know if that's just how he is or if he was trying to be, like, flirty or seductive.

But it was like I would try to lean away and then he would come closer and it was like a vicious cycle. When was the point where you knew that there was no way that you were going to go out with this guy again? At one point, he went to go get his drinks. So I was like, okay, this is good. He'll come back, and I'll establish some more space between us. And then when he came back, he even stood close to me and just watched me while I drank.

It was like every move I made, he was just like there in my face. Weird. Whoa. That is strange. Okay. So why'd you make plans to go to the movies with him then? Well, yeah, I said yes to it because it seemed like an easy way for me to at least get away from him for like a second.

So then I could like text him and say that I had like a stomach ache or something because I couldn't get away from him otherwise. Oh. Oh. All right. So you were just trying to ditch him. Wow. Yeah, I was trying to ditch him and then I ran into him when he was looking for the restroom.

That sucks. He told us that he saw you on the way out when he was looking for the restroom and it seemed awkward between you guys at that moment. Yeah, it was awkward because I felt like he probably knew that I was trying to get away. I don't think he did. Yeah. I don't think he did. Yeah, I don't think he did either. Let's ask him. Why don't we ask him if he did?

Because he's actually on the other line listening and wants to talk to you, Erica. What? Yeah. He's been listening to this this whole time? Yep. Unless he hung up. Alan, are you still there? Still here.

Hello, Erica. I suddenly feel bad for Alan. Hi. Oh, you were planning on ditching me the whole time? Not the whole time. Oh, that feels great. Okay, excellent then. The first few seconds were tolerable.

Wonderful. Well, I'm sorry. I just wasn't feeling it. I mean, I was feeling your breath, but I wasn't feeling the spark. I can't believe you told these guys I'm a close talker. Is that what you really think that? Yes, you are a close talker. Your lips were basically touching my ear. It was a loud bar.

I had to get close so we could hear each other. I don't want to sit there and yell across the table, so I get close to hear what you have to say. And you know what? I was really having a great time. You seem like a very nice guy, but it just, you know, feeling the heat of your breath, I could tell what you would have for lunch that day. Like, it seemed like maybe it was fish and chips.

I don't know. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, that shows what you know. It was chicken strips. So how close could he have been talking, Erica? If you got the food wrong Well, my mistake, I stand corrected Come on, Alan, have you ever had a problem before? Has anyone ever told you that maybe you invaded other people's personal space?

This is news to me Like I was telling you earlier, I was so excited Everything was going so well, I thought And then this, it's like, then just say something Just like at the date, just go, hey, back up a little. I don't know, like, give me a chance, you know? Would that have worked, Alan, if Erica said, hey, you're, like, really in my faith, back up, and then just, like, shoulder checked you out of, like, back a few inches?

It doesn't have to be shoulder checked, but just, like, you know, or something like that. You know, yeah, I mean, I can't read minds, you know? That's what I'm saying. I mean, I guess I'm a believer in pheromones, and I feel like if he was that close to me and I wasn't, like, feeling attracted to him and didn't, like, like the feeling of his breath and the smell and all of that,

then it wasn't going to work. Okay. That is hard to argue against. Alan, she just didn't like that you were a close talker. She didn't even know about you blowing your nose on the hotel wall. Oh, dude. Wait, what? Seriously, why do you...

Huh? Pick a man when he's down. Why would you do that? It's a good thing, Alan. Wait, what happened? Nothing. I blew my nose on the hotel wall. You saw it.

What? I literally have no idea what you're talking about. Oh, no. Then we're cool. Never mind on that. I don't know that what you're talking about. Oh, no. Then we're cool. Never mind on that. I don't know that you're cool, Alan. I think you're far from cool right now. I never saw you blow your nose on a hotel wall.

Okay, well, I thought you did. And that's why I thought you weren't calling me back, because I blew my nose on a hotel wall. But now I find out I'm a close talker. Give me on both. Man, a guy can't be a close talker and blow his nose on a hotel wall without just getting murdered for it. Apparently not.

Erica, would you like to go out with Alan again? On a second date, we will pay for it. No. I mean, I want to talk you into it, because I feel bad for Alan. I feel bad for him, too, but I don't want to go out with him again. Can everyone just stop feeling bad for me?

Okay, now I know. Now I know you don't sneeze on hotel walls and you don't close talk. So, lessons learned. I'm walking away from this a better man. Thank you. A little bruised and a little battered, but a better man. Broken chupal in the morning.

Text in at 78592 says, well, at least that guy took it like a man. If you missed today's second date update, Alan wanted to call Erica. He wasn't sure why she wasn't calling him back after their date. He thought it was because she saw him sneeze into like a curtain or something at a hotel because he had to sneeze. And she thought that he was disgusting because of that. She didn't even notice that he sneezed. She was just trying to get away from the date

because apparently he's one of those real close talker people. Yeah, awkward. And then we kind of broke the news to her that he also sneezed into a curtain at the hotel and she was kind of grossed out by that. And so they decided not to go out. Remember, if you want to do a second date update, all you have to do is email the show

and we will call the person who didn't call you back. Ugh, we're so done with new year, new you. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you.

Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble. you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How To Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Ed Zittron, host of the Better

Offline podcast. And this January, we're going to go on the road to beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada to cover the Consumer Electronics Show, tech's biggest conference. Better Offline CES coverage won't be the usual rundown of the hottest gadgets or biggest trends, but an unvarnished look at what the tech industry plans to sell or do to you in 2025. I'll be joined by David Roth of Defector and the writer Edward Ongueso Jr. With guest appearances from Behind the Bastards' Robert Evans, It Could Happen Here's Gare Davis, and a few surprise guests throughout the show. Listen to Better Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts from.