Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Promotion Commotion

Episode Date: September 13, 2024

One of our listeners figured out a way to get his entire evening PAID FOR, and it involved no lying, not scheming and not cheating. How did it work? Find out in your new Second Date podcast!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Second date update. We've heard of creative ways Alexis gets free drinks when she's at the bar, where she claims to be from poison control and is testing the tequila for arsenic. What?

I thought she just said hi. No, she wants more arsenic. I'm going to need three more prairie fire shots just to be like really sure. for arsenic. What? I thought she just said hi. No, she wants more arsenic. I'm going to need three more prairie fire shots just to be like really sure. Oh, and six shots for my friend. Oh, and you want to pass the inspection. Yeah, we're trying to save the world. One of our male listeners apparently figured out another way to get free drinks for him and for his date at multiple different spots.

Wait, and his date sweet so get ready to take notes here his name is nathan nathan welcome to the show hey how's it going good i mean everybody's super intrigued they want to hear how you're doing it what do you inspect what do you act as what kind of inspector it's nothing like that it's something completely different okay no fake inspections. Well, we'll get to whatever your method is for getting free drinks in a second. First, tell us about the girl that you went out with. What's her name?

Oh, her name is Megan. I met her online. Okay. Okay. What'd you like about Megan? Sorry. Your phone just sounds like you're shouting into a megaphone right now. A Megan phone.

Yeah. Oh, sorry. Is that better not really but we're just gonna go with it okay nathan tell us how you and megan got to the point of getting free drinks for each other okay so pretty much me and megan met up for our first date she tells me that she just got like a promotion at her job so i was like super excited yeah and a great reason to like take her out and have we gotta celebrate tonight good on her yeah and a great reason to like take her out and have something to talk about and make her pay for the drinks because she's the one making all the money now you're rich now no i'm not gonna make a girl pay for

a drink so i have a better idea okay what's your idea we went to a lot of bars and every bar i'd walk into i just yell out hey this girl got a promotion people would just cheers and buy a drink and then you asked wait you said can you buy us drinks afterwards no people would just cheer us and then buy us drinks this would work on me like a big congrats congrats let's get you mine so mine so it'd be like jeff's i'm like you make more money than me. I'm not buying you a drink. What bars are you going to where nobody ever gets promotions? It's such a big deal.

Oh, really? Three of us just got fired. Yeah. But what's smart about it is it's the truth. Yeah. It's not like you're scamming people. It's not like you're engaged like a lot of people would do for a free dessert. It's like you're legit.

Or pretending it's your birthday or something, you know? It's pretty cool that that was working for you. Yeah, I mean, definitely it was working, but I mean, it got pretty hazy, that's for sure. A lot of free drinks coming your way. I think the last bar was actually, who is... Yeah, I mean, we went to this one street that has like a bunch of bars,

and I was like pretty like past the point of buzz you know like where you're like dude i drank too much yeah yeah oh this is like you're talking zero to 100 when you went from like oh things are good to like now you start yelling for free food tacos anybody i don't know though if you're like wasted wasted like. It's not pretty. I mean, did you embarrass yourself? Um. Uh-oh. Sounds like a yes. I remember kissing her in the back of the Uber, so. Okay.

Did she reciprocate? I mean, I remember getting back at her place, watching some TV. Okay, that's a yes then. Wait, you don't know how you went from Uber to Uber? Okay. He grayed out. I remember ordering sushi. You what?

You ordered what? We ordered sushi, but yeah, I mean, I woke up the next morning and I was like, I'm not really feeling good. Hold on. Did you wake up at her place or your place? Her place, but then I just took off. Like, I got an Uber and left, but haven't heard back from her since. Wait, you left before you saw her?

Were you waking up in bed or just like on the couch i was on the couch she was in the other room okay wait was she still there when you left um i think she was i mean i didn't really look i was just concerned about getting home to like just recover i mean yeah i don't think you really want to like have after a heavy night of drinking and sushi, that's the time to be reconnected. Dude, you've got to say something. You stayed the night at the girl's house. If a dude just left without saying anything from my house, I would think either A, he doesn't like me and he's trying to run. That's true.

Or B, he's a little weirdo. Dude, you guys don't even get it. I was wrecked. I was wasted. Yeah. I mean, that wouldn't be a good look the following day to walk in if you texted her i think it's okay so well yeah what's happened since then since you left her apartment oh you stayed in contact nothing i got ghosted and i

like just dropped off the face of the earth oh nothing at all you know the good thing about this she may think the same thing she may be be like, I don't remember a lot. Did I embarrass myself? Like, you guys both may be just playing it cautious. Do you know if she was on the same page with you in terms of drunkenness? Yeah, I mean, she would go, hey, we were going drink for jink. You know, like, she's a cool chick. I'd like to see her again.

She's really awesome to hang out with. Okay. Okay. Maybe she's just not lightweight. Well, who knows what went wrong. Maybe that Uber kiss that you thought was with her was actually with the driver. We're going to find out. Nobody was thinking that.

Well, some people have lived better life experiences than others. Nobody knows how I've lived my life. Yeah. Except your Uber drivers, apparently. There's a reason I have a five-star review. That's all I'm going to say. Anyway, Nathan. Yeah, let's call her. Come on we're gonna do that we'll reach out to her and get you your second date update right after this second date update if you're just joining us

our listener nathan went on a wild kind of hazy first date with a woman named megan i don't think there was any kind of about it jeff Extremely hazy first date where he found out that she got promoted and that turned into a celebratory bar crawl down the street. He didn't know it at the time, but Nathan actually came up with kind of a genius idea where every bar they walked into,

he announced, hey, this girl just got promoted at work and immediately they'd get free drinks showered upon them. Not showered upon them not showered like on them but like gifted to them yeah by the way next time we go to lunch i'm telling everybody yeah this girl just got a raise but theirs wasn't a lie theirs was serious yeah i know but i'm gonna lie and okay let's get you guys free drinks that was fun for nathan and megan for the first two or three bars after that he doesn't remember a whole lot except that he spent the

night at her place on the couch. And I can't believe they ordered drunk sushi. Who does that? Why not drunk nachos? Interesting move. French fries. It's an intoxicated choice for sure. Nathan, clearly you had a lot of fun that night, but why is it so important that you get

in contact with Megan again? Because maybe this was supposed to be just like a one-night crazy thing. Did you hear? She's got money now. She's a sugar mama. Yeah. Okay. We're upper management now.

Is that it, Nathan? Oh, no, no, no. I thought she was just really cool to hang out with. I don't really meet a lot of cool people, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. That's kind of insulting.

Anybody who knows him, by the way, don't be offended by that. Maybe not a lot of his friends get promoted, so he doesn't know. I think that's cool. I think that's a really

sweet sentiment, which, you know, it's hard to be sweet and romantic after a very drunken evening, so... Yeah. You were drunk,

and maybe Megan can help fill in some of the blanks that you have in the night so we can figure out what really happened. It is going to be... She be more blanks than he does. It's going to be shocking to me that she doesn't share something embarrassing that you did. Oh, yeah.

I mean, you're drunk. You don't remember. What if she did? Somebody did something. Something happened and we need to find out. So let's dial her. Here we go. Hopefully she picks up.

Hello? Hey, is this Megan? Is this she? Is this? Hey, Megan. My name is Jeff from a radio show you might be familiar with called Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning. We just called to say congratulations. Yay, Jeff.

Yeah. On the big promotion. Heard you got promoted at your job. I'm so sorry. I'm a little confused. Sorry, where are you calling from? We're a radio show. It's called Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning.

And we sometimes reach out to people when we hear they got job promotions. Sometimes we also reach out when we hear they went on a really great date with somebody. Yeah, you're kind of checking multiple boxes here. Celebrating the job promotion. Yeah, you fell into... What? Sorry, I'm a little confused. Let me simplify this for you.

We heard that you went out on a date with one of our listeners named Nathan. Oh my God. Why did you gasp for me? Uh-oh. Are you serious? You guys know him or something or something well he listens to us nathan is actually the one who told us about your promotion and the way you guys celebrated that night yeah oh okay well uh what did he tell you i'm curious sorry i'm it's only good things that

you sound so nervous yeah i'm shaking. I'm very angry. You're still hungover. We don't know all the details, but we know there was a bar crawl that had a lot of free drinks, ended up at your place. But he doesn't remember a lot. Oh, he doesn't remember. Yeah, okay. I'm not calling him back because he ate my goldfish.

Wait, what? Actual fish? Not a bag of fish? My actual swimming fish. Cleo, gone. He said you had sushi. No, he told you that we ordered sushi.

We had like a 40 minute conversation about how no sushi places were open and none of them even deliver here. No. Did he tell you that we ordered sushi? Yeah. He said his memory was hazy,

but that's one of the things he remembered. Oh, my God. I'm sorry. There's no way. Not even in your drunkest state is a guy doing something that dress. Oh, no, I've seen high school kids. I coach eat goldfish actually often. I've seen this trick at a party, too. I told him I was going to bed.

He crashed on my couch. The next morning, I wake up. He's not there. And I notice that my goldfish tank near the window is completely empty.

Wait, hold on. Okay. He didn't even do it when you were present? He did it after you went to bed? I didn't see anything. I didn't hear anything. Obviously, like,

fish don't scream. Are you sure? Like, I've heard of fish jumping out of tanks before. That happens. It's called evolution. I looked everywhere. There's no Cleo. She's gone. And you don't have a cat? Do you have a cat?

I have no cat. Cleo was my only pet. That's really sad. You need to sleep. That is so sad. We don't know that that's what actually happened. You said yourself, Megan, you didn't see it. What are the chances?

I didn't see it and I didn't hear anything, but if there's like a strange man in my apartment and he's going on and on about ordering sushi and I wake up and my fish isn't there, what else am I supposed to do? Can you imagine telling your friends my date ate my pet oh man

okay let's try as hard as we can not to jump to conclusions here it's really important we've heard megan's side of the story it's really important that we get nathan's side too because megan he is here he is on the other line listening to this. Bring him on. And Chloe could be listening. She's not afraid. Nathan, you there? Hey. Hi. Yeah, hey, Nathan. How's it going?

Oh, my God. Are you feeling energized and fueled from eating my fish? Did that happen? I'm like 40% sure that... that... He doesn't know what went down. It doesn't matter! 40% is not a good success rate, Nathan. Don't finish that sentence.

No one is going to believe you. Look, look, I don't know if that happened or not, but like, if it did happen, it's probably because you got that promotion and we got all those free drinks. That is rich. That is rich. You are blaming me because you got that promotion and we got all those free drinks. That is rich. You are blaming me because you got so

so safe. You ate my fish. Yeah, well, look, I don't really know if I want to take the rap for something I don't know if I really did or not. You know, at the end of the day, you could have been in it. Megan, did you consider that? I think I ate my fish.

Oh my God. Uh-oh. Oh, my God. This is a goldfish mail situation. Nathan, I don't know. Why are you jumping to, like, being horrified and really sorry right now? He's confused, I think. Look, I don't know what happened that night, okay? But all I know is that we have a chance.

We can do a do-over. Sorry about the shit you are off your rocker man are you kidding me he apologized he admits maybe mistakes have been made I love that he apologized after he blamed her

look I'll tell you this Megan we've been doing this segment for a long time and in the history of it we've had four people get married after one person ate the other person's pet. You could be lucky number five. This is the first time we've had anyone ever eat another person's pet, Jeff. That's a cool way to meet, though. Nathan, shut up.

That's a story for the Thanksgiving dinner table if there ever was one. This is officially the worst date I've ever been on. Oh, you can't say that. You can't say that until you go on one more date and give them the chance to lower the bar even farther. That's going to be a funny wedding story. No, I think I'm good because the only other thing,

I don't want to be eaten personally. He can bring you a new fish. I have a better idea, Alexis. Let's send them to a place that actually serves up sushi for real I don't think that she's ever That's a little traumatic don't you think She knows how to do it the right way now

She's like we'll do a Chloe roll please She's not ordering A Chloe roll Sorry I insulted the dead A Chloe roll Just a normal first date without all the heavy drinking And you guys can give it a redo. I'm actually horrified that you suggested that.

You know what? Jeff stands on his own on that one. That was all his idea. We do not endorse it. Okay, fine. You're right. Maybe I was a little bit insensitive to Cleo. But I'm going to step away now.

I'm done defending the listeners. Nathan, you have one final chance to win Megan over. Go ahead. Megan, would you like to hang out again? That's it? That's it. To the point. No, no.

Read the rooms. You should have re-apologized first. Look, there's really no proof that I did that. Does she want to hang out again, though? Oh, come on. That would never happen again. Nathan, what would the proof be? That is even grosser.

One scale. Yeah. All right. Nathan, it's sounding like it's a no. Nathan, I think you need to take a break from drinking. Yeah. We need a detox. I don't need a break from drinking.

She needs a break from getting promoted. Oh. That'll teach you, Megan. It's her success that did her in. Yeah. That did you in. Maybe I'll learn my lesson. Oh, that'll teach you, Megan. It's her success that did her in. Yeah. That did you in. Maybe I'll learn my lesson. Oh, finally.

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Well, this does not happen a lot, but after we recorded that segment, a half hour later, our producer got an email from Nathan. No. I thought you were going to say from PETA. No. Nathan's email says, quote, I don't think that went well. It took him a half an hour?

He sat on that for a half an hour? Okay, I process. Not sure if he'd been drinking during the phone call with us. Maybe he's just starting to sober up and figure out what happened. Yeah. Why do I feel like we're definitely going to hear from Nathan again, though, someday soon? I mean, please, if you have any larger pets, do not go out with anyone named Nathan, please. Or smaller pets.

Because it's hard to come back after being accused of eating your date's pet. Tough hole to climb out of there. That's rough when you burp off a little lizard or something, you know? It's hard to come back from. But there's lessons to be learned from every single call that we do. Email the show. We'll call that person who's not calling you back. And go check out all of our second dates wherever you get your podcasts at Brooke and Jeffrey.

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late-night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines exclusive extended interviews and more now this is a second term we can all get behind listen to the daily show ears edition on the iheart radio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts