Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Punch- Drunk Brunch

Episode Date: August 25, 2023

There’s ONE thing you can order at brunch that GUARANTEES you’ll both have a good time… Find out what it is in your Second Date podcast!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever going to say yes. That's not going to work. Is it by putting them in a high-stress situation, like a spontaneous fire in the backseat of their car, and then seeing how they react to it? No. Maybe, but I see what you're saying.

The authorities could get involved. It's a little bit risky. Aren't we just going to go with get drunk with them? That's how I do it. But that's all the time. I mean, how are you supposed to differentiate? We think the best way is to read what they wrote on their dating profile and make judgments off of there. That's what we've been doing a lot lately.

And it brings us to Dean, who wants a second date update. Dean, welcome to the show. Hey, thanks for having me on. Okay, are we reading Dean's profile or are we going to go into his date's profile? Wait, first off, did you write your date on fire? I'm worried now because of Jeff, what he said. Just the car. Oh, just the car.

Were there any fires involved with your date, Dean? No, there were no fires. Okay. So let's go back to the tried and true test of seeing what's on their dating profile. Can you tell us what's on your date's profile? What's her name, by the way? Her name is Danielle. Danielle.

Okay, can you pull up Danielle's profile and just read some of the stuff on her bio to us? I didn't. All right. Yeah. Hang on. Those are very honest and deep. Yeah. I don't know.

Let me guess. She likes hiking. She likes to be spontaneous. Oh, and she hates drama. Uh-huh. Actually, none of those are really on there. Wow. She's a morning person with a nighttime energy.

A morning person with a nighttime energy. I never heard that. Again, now I'm back to she's drunk in the morning. A little unstable, sounds like. What kind of lady? Not looking to be tied down, just dating right now. Okay, that could be the reason why she's not calling you back right there. Okay.

She's just flirting. Could be, but I'm going to look like I'm fragile, not like a rose, but like a bomb with the bomb emoji. Oh. Oh. Whoa. That means she crazy. Yeah.

She'd be perfect for a reality TV show like Love Island or something. Yeah. She sounds really fun. All those things sound like a fun and entertaining kind of person. Just don't make her mad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. When you met up with her, did she seem fun?

She did. We decided on a Sunday brunch. Oh, because she's a morning person. I get it. With nighttime energy. And so we ordered a thing called a brunch punch, I think it was called. Brunch punch. I already like it.

It was like a large glass, like a wine glass. It was like two straws in the drink, a big cup. Oh. It had lots of alcohol. I know that. Oh. Like Spody or Jungle Juice. Or like an AMF.

Yeah. They're basically serving like a punch bowl. I mean, there's all sorts of different names, but the same. Yeah. It's the same everywhere. Wow. Hey, let's try and make you puke. Yep, exactly.

It's sweet and delicious. Yeah. You guys are splitting one of those in the morning? Yes, you're right. Wow. We came opening on us pretty quickly, you know? Yeah, it's called brunch punch because it's like a punch to your face. Right.

We laughed about a lot of stupid stuff. I don't really remember a lot of it, but I remember there was a bit about a zebra. Zebra? You were hallucinating zebras or you were talking about zebras? I'm not sure. We got pretty sloppy. Okay. Okay.

And did you guys stay at the brunch spot the whole time or did you head somewhere else? Well, we stayed there. We had a couple hours of fun there. You know what I mean? Okay. So we agreed we're definitely going to do it again. Yeah. You're like best friends by the end of something like that.

Best friends? That's not what you want. Come on. I'm sorry. Boyfriend, girlfriend? No. They're just vibing. They're vibing.

They're vibing at the end. Did you feel like a romantic connection with her? Sort of. I mean, I guess I couldn't feel my legs after we were sitting down for so long. When I got up, I was like, holy cow. I couldn't feel your legs. That's what love feels like i hear that's what the total loss of we're having so much fun and then you stand up you're like whoa right and i definitely wasn't standing straight that's for sure so

nice okay i've been trying to date her but she keeps telling me like wrong time so like that's the deal like i'm not completely getting ghosted, but. What do you mean wrong times? Oh, wrong time to hang out with her. Right. Like, it's a bad time. Oh. Okay.

Okay. But you are in contact with her still. Like, how long has it been since the brunch punch date? Brunch punch's been, like, three weeks. And she mentioned brunch again. Oh, she did. Okay. So it sounds like maybe she thinks you're expecting more from her and she's not ready to have, you know, who knows?

Maybe it's something else. But I don't want to get ripped every morning for breakfast with this girl. Yeah. I want to go like on a real date, you know, nighttime. Oh, so does that mean that you turned her down for the second brunch? Yeah. I mean, I turned her down because I was working during that time. You know, like, I had work, so. Okay.

She wanted to go out with you during a work day in the morning. So we'll try to get you what you call a real date. Yeah. A little more sober. Well, let's not go that far, Brooke. Okay. We still want to have fun, right? She just said a little, a little more sober. Okay.

We were drunk by one. That's a little crazy. Well, we're going to call Danielle for you, and I want to see this nighttime energy in the morning myself. I mean, she's perfect for our show. Yeah. Yeah, she is. Maybe she'll replace one of us, and we won't have to work anymore. We'll call her and try and get you a second date update right after this.

Second date update. Usually when somebody says they left a date with no feeling in their legs, it's from a mind-blowing hookup. Oh, wow. But not with Dean. No. Nuh-uh. His paralysis came from a brunch punch drink-off with Danielle

because they'd been sitting down at brunch drinking a very, very strong concoction together that caused him to go numb from the waist down and laugh a lot about zebras, I guess. He doesn't remember the details. He just remembers the stripes. Thanks to the brunch punch. But they both said that they wanted to see each other afterwards, and she's not completely ghosting him either,

which bodes very well for us getting another date, right? Yeah. She even invited him to brunch again. I mean, why don't you just go that route? I know you say you want a real date, right? Yeah. She even invited him to brunch again. I mean, why don't you just go that route? I know you say you want a real date, but like, maybe two brunches

and then your nighttime date. Well, listen, I want to be clear. Like, I don't mind the drinking at brunch. I just want other experiences, you know?

Okay. It's like going to the same movie again or something. It's like, let's try something new. I get it. Not everybody wants to blow off work

to get drunk with some random person in the morning. Lame. That's not you, Dean, but that's okay. We're going to try and get you a second date anyway. You ready? Awesome. I am ready.

I think this is going to be easy. I mean, like, what a nice thing to say. Like, I want a different experience with you. I mean, she might be ripped when she answers, but that'll make it even easier to get a yes out of her, so let's try this. It's almost brunch time. She could be pretty funky right now. Alright, here we go. Hello? Oh, that's a sober hello right there.

Hey, Danielle. Let's call her back in an hour. Hey, what's up? Who's this? This is a morning show called Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Yeah, maybe you listen. We heard you're a real morning person. From who?

Okay, you don't. Nope. That's all right. We heard it from a guy you went out with the other day named Dean. Oh, okay. Oh, that's it? It the other day named Dean. Oh, okay. Oh, that's it? It was a couple weeks ago. Yeah, sorry.

She said about three weeks ago you guys went to brunch together? Yeah, so why are you calling me? Well, Dean wants a little bit of help today because he said that you two have been in contact with each other since your date happened, which honestly is a lot different than a lot of the people that we talk to in these second date updates most of the time they're just ghosting like no communication at least you guys are kind of talking yeah and it sounds like you have a real vibe with dean and so we're just trying to get you two back together and he's not sure if you're just like stringing him along or if the timing isn't working out, but he wants to see you again. Oh,

um, I mean, this is weird, but, uh, I guess you can tell him, yeah, I'll see him again. No,

we know you want to see him again. You know that? You just mean like, why, I guess to be direct, why only brunch? It seems like that's the only thing you're interested in. Oh,

those brunch punches are probably expensive. He said that, oh, she to arrange dates with you a lot, and you keep saying no. And you asked him for a brunch date during the work day. Yeah, because that's when I'm available. Oh, do you work, like, are you, like, yeah, are you working nights? You work in a restaurant or a bar or something? Oh, no, like, I'm mid-shift. But, no, I just already have a night guy.

What do you mean you have a night guy? What's a night guy? Like a guy I go on nighttime dates with. Like, I told him I was dating. Oh. Wait, you have a different guy for each part of the day? It's like a schedule. This is amazing.

Yeah, like, okay. Listen, my job's really important to me and I have friends and I'm doing this dating thing. So like I'm really effective at scheduling my time. So yeah, I have a guy that I see, uh, like two nights a week for dinner and I'm not hanging out with friends or working. And then I have a lunchtime guy that I see like once a week. The morning slot was open. And I mean, like, Dean's cool, but he's not a morning person. I'm not going to lie. Before we called, I thought you were going to be a total mess.

And you're actually extremely organized. Wait, though, like, that's a lot to, wow. Does lunch guy know about dinner guy? Or is this like a cheating thing? Oh, no. Like, I've been really open and told everyone I'm dating. Like, I even set out my dating profile that I'm not looking to be tied down, you know? Okay.

Well, yeah, we did hear about that. But Dean never mentioned anything about a scheduled guy for each part of the day. I don't think he knew. Yeah, I'm not going to tell him. Like, some guys get super weird about that stuff. Like, I mentioned I was dating. I'm not gonna be like, hey, I can't see you

tonight because I'm seeing another dude tonight. You know how some guys get. This was fun. I can't wait to tell my other three boyfriends that. Dean's got brunch energy, but not nighttime energy. I see. No, it's not that. It's just that, like. I mean, like, no, it's not that. It's just that, like, I already have a nighttime slot, and, like, the nighttime guy's cool.

Like, if a lunch or dinner slot opened, I'd be willing to, like, offer it to him. What does a guy have to do to get dropped from the schedule? He's not cool enough. He could get a raise. You've got to level up. You've got to level up to lunch next and then dinner time at the top. You've been late three times for our date i'm gonna have to move you to bed better than being snack boy well look danielle i know you

you didn't want to tell him you know face to face that but you already kind of told him over the phone because dean's been listening on the other line oh that's awkward yeah that is kind of awkward huh it's good for him to know. Dean, you there? Oh, my gosh. What is this all about? Are you asking us or her? I think her. Yeah, I mean, like, I told you I'm dating.

Like, I got out of a pretty serious relationship a few months ago. I'm not looking for that. I'm really taking time to, like, work on me and work on what I like and what I want. And, like, with my schedule, this is just what I have available. And Dean, like you're cool. I know the morning slot is not the most ideal, which is probably why it's the one that I have open. I'm a morning person.

You know, I'd like to see you again if you're up for it. What? Why? I mean, I only have one slot. Why are you doing this wait i can't tell dean are you like open to this idea are you insulted like where are you at how do you feel about being the morning guy i'm just trying to wrap my head around this whole thing right and i'm thinking the morning guy is like the most friend zone of all the guys that you could be. Is that true, Danielle? Oh, I mean, like, if that's your perspective,

but like I said, I'm a morning person. Like, I'm up at 5 a.m. anyway. There's a lot of fun things you can do in the morning. It's not just brunch. Yeah, I think, I would think lunch would suck the most, to be honest. I mean, lunch guy's really fun. Although, now that I think about it,

lunch guy's going out of town next week. Well, like and a half from now so like two weeks so if you wanted a lunchtime slot that week i mean we can have lunch if you're not a brunch guy you could be a substitute for a week dean can i reach out to the nighttime guy and maybe switch spots with him like can we work something out with him do a little negotiation between you two? No, that's so weird. That's weird? Wait, what? Maybe I could tell him about the drinking in the morning and he'll get into that and that'll be a good sample.

That'd be kind of nice. Wow, listen, I live and die by my Google calendar and if you can't fit into a slot on my Google calendar, I just don't think it's going to work. That's great. Maybe you should just forward your Google doc over to him so that everybody can see it and fill in the time slots that they want to go on a date with you.

You guys can make notes after each date. Yeah, and see when someone's out of town. If I get that week with the lunch slot, do I miss the morning slot or can I get free? You do both. You're sounding a little bit greedy now, Dean. I mean, if you think about it, dinner and breakfast would be a better situation. Because then you could just stay and then finish your shift in the morning.

And then it's like, who wants pancakes? I don't know, Dean. You seem pretty cool, but you called a radio station to track me down. I don't know if this is the lifestyle for you. We're cool. Oh, God. Hey, we're about to lose her here. We got to get her back so uh danielle we'd

like to send you on another date here with dean a lunchtime date and we'll pay for it oh yeah i guess so but like i said i've got that one lunch slot that opens in two weeks so you gotta be cool with that yeah all right dean look at that you got you got an i guess so what did you say dean are you down i guess i to take what I can get, right? Wait, so the beginning, all he wanted was to not do brunch? Now he's thankful to get brunch. No, no, no, lunch. Lunch.

Oh, lunch. Sorry, I'm sorry. I want to see her Google calendars. This is intense. I didn't know what I was up against, but this is a lot of thinking. Yeah. You better impress. Next week, we're going to boot the night guy out of his slot.

You ready for that, Dean? That is so my goal right now. Turn into dessert, man. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. I swear, when we do a second date update update with them, like, months from now, Dean better have knocked off the current night guy and moved into his slot.

I hope so. I'm proud of you for being cool with that, that she's got the different shifts. Yeah. Yeah. Whatever works for her. As long as he's cool with it, that's all that matters. I know. Maybe she's looking for an overnight guy.

We never asked that. I mean, right. The overnight shift, not usually that glamorous. But in this case, something you'd want. As long as he's still a member of her company, I guess you could say. I think that's a good thing. First, he's going to have to prove that he can hang with her at lunch.

Maybe she's even auditioning him right now to be the new lunch guy, and then the lunch dude gets bumped back down to breakfast. Dude, he better go change his LinkedIn profile right now. How ashamed do you feel if you're the guy who gets bumped back down to breakfast? And do they ever show up at the wrong time and go, oh, I forgot I'm not

on this time slot anymore. I'm so sorry. Wrong chip. Darn it. So awkward, but I don't know. We're hoping for the best for those two. If you ever want to get a second date update for yourself, though, you can always reach out to the show. We'll call the person who isn't calling you back. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind.

Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.