Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Romeo and Ghouliet

Episode Date: October 28, 2022

The guy in today’s Second Date works at a haunted house and is looking to reconvene with a coworker he once dated. It’s Halloween Weekend and we’re hoping to treat them both right in the podcast!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, America's sweetheart Johnny Knoxville here. I want to tell you about my new true crime podcast, Crimeless, Hillbilly Heist, from smartless media, campside media, and big money players. It's a wild tale about a gang of high-functioning nitwits who somehow pulled off America's third largest cash heist. Kind of like Robin Hood except for the part where he steals from rich and gives to the poor. I'm not that generous. It's a damn near inspiring true story for anyone out there who's ever shot for the moon,

then just totally muffed up the landing. They stole $17 million that had not bought a ticket to help him escape. So we're saying, like, oh, God, what do we do? What do we do? That was dumb. People do not follow my example. Listen to Crimless, Hillbilly Heist on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Two rich young Americans moved to the Costa Rican jungle to start over, but one of them will end up dead and the other tried for murder three times.

It starts with a dream, a nature reserve and a spectacular new home. But little by little, they lose it, they actually lose it. They sort of went nuts. Until one night, everything spins out of control. Listen to Hell in Heaven on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast. or wherever you get your podcasts I live below a cult leader and I fear I've angered her.

Wait a minute, Sophia. How do you know she's a cult leader? Well, Dakota, luckily it's I'm not afraid of a scary story week on the OK Storytime podcast. So we'll find out soon. This person writes, My neighbor has been blasting music every day

and doing dirt rituals. And now my ceiling is collapsing. I try to report them, but things keep getting weirder. I think they might be part of a cult. Hold up. A real. Life cult? And what is a dirt ritual? No clue, Dakota. Find out how it ends. Listen to the OK

Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Big Take podcast from Bloomberg News keeps you on top of the biggest stories of the day. My fellow Americans, this is Liberation Day. Stories that move markets. Chair Powell opened the door to this first interest rate cut. Impact politics. Change businesses. This is a really stunning development. for the AI world and how you think about your bottom line. Listen to the big take from Bloomberg News every weekday afternoon on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Cal Penn, and on my new podcast, here we go again, we'll take today's trends and headlines and ask,

why does history keep repeating itself? Each week, I'm calling up my friends like Bill Nye, Lily Singh, and Pete Buttigieg to talk about everything from the space race to movie remake, to psychedelics. Put another way, are you high? Look, the world can seem pretty scary right now. But my goal here

is for you to listen and feel a little better about the future. Listen and subscribe to here we go again with Cal Penn on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. All right, we're going to do it together. It's Monday. Wow, my voice is just touch and go these days. That's a Monday voice. That is a Monday voice. And we're kicking off Hall of Week.

Yeah. What is Jeffrey calls? on it, hunts tober. I honestly can't understand him when he says it. Oh, hauntober. Yeah, hauntober. I like it. I bet he was been saying hot tober.

I didn't really know what he was saying. It was all over the place. Yeah, honestly. The most important part of this is that you need to follow our socials. We're going to have so much fun this week. Yes. We're going to have a spooky spirit. And that is definitely the case today with your second date update.

But before we always do your comments, what do you got, Alexis? Yes. Joe Will said, been an avid fan. And because of y'all, my mom threatened to call an exorcist on me. Oh, my gosh. She would constantly catch me cackling alone. Brooke and Jeffrey playing on my AirPods. Defend me, y'all.

That is so funny. Just wait till your head starts spinning in circles. Oh, no. We love it. Keep those comments coming and enjoy the second date update. It starts right now. Second date update. Vampires, werewolves, ghouls, and goblins, all terrifying for sure.

But we all know nothing is scarier. than dating in the modern world. That's the sound of someone getting blocked on Tinder. Are we allowed to do a horror film? Is that what we're allowed to do right now? That's what we're in right now. Because if you could imagine, we're getting a lot of emails from people

who are meeting other single people during the spooky season. Yeah, for sure. That's a fun time to meet. Even meeting them in person. Ooh, spooky. You're scared Alexis? Are you really scared? Oh, yeah, I haven't made it there yet.

Who would be brave enough to do such a thing? Our listener, Anthony. Oh, cool. He met a girl in person and needs our help. Anthony, what's up? Hey, guys, how you doing? Cool. Where'd you meet this lady?

So, we work in a haunted house together. Oh, cute. That's cool. Are you guys, like, the actors in the haunted house? Yeah, yeah. I'm a cannibal cook. Nice. She's a zombie cheerleader.

Oh, very sexy. Nice, bro. What's her name? Uh, her name's Quinn. Quinn, okay. Yeah. And the zombie cheerleader. This is something that I do every year.

I've been doing it since I was like, you know, a teenager. Wow. And this is her first year there, but I know this probably sounds weird, but, you know, when she does her, like, dead zombie voice, I think it's pretty hot. Oh. Oh. Oh. Brains.

How did you guys get to talking or were you friends, you know, all? Spooky season. Yeah. How do you flirt in a haunted house? So we do like a couple of scenes together. Oh, okay. It's like this scene where she's like strapped to a table and I like take a bite out of her arm. Nice.

That is sexy. Yeah. So there's definitely like some flirtation there, you know. Oh, yeah. Oh, I missed your arm and now we're making out. Yeah. That's how I flirt even when I'm not in a haunted house. So I feel you.

And it's a fun vibe too. I've like volunteered. an actor before on a haunted house. Yeah, and like backstage, they like do your makeup. So there's like downtime, too. I assume you guys have connected outside of you just eating her arm. Yeah, yeah. I, um,

you know, I asked her out and so we went to a bar after work one night. Oh my God, were you still in makeup? Uh, no, we, we have a shower there, so we can like shower and change and stuff before we go home. But I mean, we went out to a bar and, um, you know, that was kind of like the first time I'd really

actually seen her without some makeup on and she, She looked even hotter without, like, a bloody mess. I would hold on. It's a bad sign if you say she looks way hotter when she's bloody. She's somehow more pale. Yeah. Strange. All right.

Well, that's good news. What did you guys do? I mean, we just, like, mostly, like, we had some drinks. Talked about Halloween, like, different costumes that we wore when we were kids, our favorite candy. You know, like, childhood memories and stuff like that. I shouldn't even ask what your favorite candy is. I don't want to start a fight. Yeah, because there's only one right answer.

Uh-oh. Candy corn? Like, ew. Is that what you said? That is why she's not calling you back. I didn't even know that was an option. Nobody says that. Let's hang up on this guy.

Oh, wow. I'm kidding. I'm kidding, dude. So that's cool. You guys bonded over old Halloween memories. That sounds fun. Yeah. So, you know, it's like we got like a little close.

We didn't kiss, but there was definitely like, it feels like we were feeling each other. Okay. And, you know, we like hugged good night. And I was like, okay, this was fun. I'll see you tomorrow. Awesome. But then the next day, she was, like, moved to a totally different room in the haunted house, like, on the other side. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Is that by chance, or do you think she asked to be moved? I don't know. Like, I don't know if she, like, requested it or if it was just, like, you know, part of the regular rotation. But I did see her, and she was acting, like, kind of cold. She's maybe really in character. Yeah. It's cold body, yeah. I mean, that sucks.

Now you have to bite somebody else's arm. It's been weird. She's not answering my text Or like my Instagram messages And it's kind of bumming me out I'm hoping that you can help me I mean is there anything looking back on your Night at the Bar that you think maybe you did wrong

That could have turned her off I mean I thought about that but honestly I can't think of anything Maybe she was just using you for your brains I mean she is a zombie Or maybe you bit her arm too hard She needs just a little soft nibble I guess that's possible I mean I have no idea It sounds like she'd definitely avoid

you. Let's call this undead cheerleader and ask her what's up. We're going to play a song, come back, and get you your Halloween themed second date update right after this. Second date update. You've seen Hannibal Lecter, but have you seen Hannibal in love?

Aw. Even Hannibal deserves love. Maybe not, but... A man in a mask nibbling on a zombie cheerleader's arm while they both sip on a cold can of blood light.

That was funny It's actually cute But what he really has his eyes set on Is her heart Oh, does she still have one if she's a zombie? Not just to eat but to have forever All right And that's what's happening with one of our listeners, Anthony

Who met a girl named Quinn Well, they both worked together at a haunted house But after they went out She was moved to a different room And she's been acting kind of cold towards him So we're going to call her and ask what gives Brooke, how optimistic are you that this ends in a date? Because it sounds kind of romantic to me.

It did. I thought it sounded really romantic until she got moved. And I think she may have done that on purpose, which is not a good sign that. I mean, it sounds like she wants nothing to do with you. Did you insult her in some way? I told her that she looks better without all the bloody zombie makeup. Oh, how could you? What a horrible thing to say to a woman.

I don't know. Maybe a vampire swooped in and got a. her first, you know? Oh, yeah. Maybe she fell in love with another monster. Yeah, maybe just don't comment on like women's makeup. I don't know. Maybe that's it in general.

I was just going to say, some women get offended and look into things and Alexis proved the point. Yeah. All right, well, let's stop speculating and start getting some answers. Look, we're going to call Quinn right here. You ready, Anthony? I'm ready. All right. Here we go.

Hello? I don't know I was expecting a zombie That's a bummer Hey is this Quinn Yeah Who's calling Hi

Hey we're a radio show You may have heard of Called Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning Oh hey Oh you have heard of us Cool Thanks Quinn Number one with zombies

That was a joke That was supposed to be a joke Because we hear that you work As a cheerleader zombie At a haunted house I do Yeah. We hear you make quite the sexy cheerleader.

Dead cheerleader. What? I'm sorry. I think that went weird. Yeah. Our compliments are off today. Yours. We heard about you from one of our listeners, though, named Anthony, who you went out with.

What? What are you talking about? You went on a date with him, right? That's what we heard. Because we do this segment called the Second Date Update, and we're trying to help Anthony figure out why, after your date at the bar, you've been acting a little bit cold towards him in the haunted house.

Or maybe he's reading it wrong. I mean, you never know. He feels like maybe you're avoiding him for some reason. Yeah. And I mean, not like normal zombie cold. I mean, like extra inner person cold. Yeah, I guess so. I mean, I don't know what you want me to say.

Well, I mean, did you like him? I mean, I thought I liked him. Okay. He did something, didn't he? I knew it. Like, he just, he said that you even changed areas in the haunted house. Did he do something to offend you? I mean, it's just, we just didn't see eye to eye on some stuff.

And it's just not going to work, basically. Okay, so you're not mad. We just don't want to date him. And you mean, like, eye to eye, not like zombie eyes in that way. You mean, something. Because, like I said, he told us that you guys went out. I mean, from his perspective, everything. was really great. And you were clicking, you were talking about, he said, childhood memories and

Halloween and fun stuff and you had a nice hug. So which part of it was bad to you? I mean, yeah, that was all nice, but I was flirting with him and I just made this comment flirting. Like, you know, if things work out between us, we'd be the house that gives out like the full-sized candy bars. Oh, yeah. Wow. That's a big flirt. Yeah. And yeah, that's, yeah, that's. When it just kind of went downhill for me. What? Why? How?

Because he just got all practical. He kept saying, like, do you know how much that's going to cost in the future? Oh, my God. Wait, he broke down the mathematics of handing out full-sized candy bars? Come on. Exactly that. Like, he said, full-sized candy bars are going to be, like, five bucks a piece. And then he's like, you give out, like, a hundred.

That's $500. What kind of full-sized candy bars is he buying? $5 a piece? He's saying in the future with inflation. I mean, I guess he does have a point, but I don't... So you're just saying it was like, not cute? No, it was not cute because I think he was being 100% serious. Like, he went on to say, like, oh, next thing you know, our kids are not going to college.

Oh, because of the full-sized candy bars took up the college funds. Seriously. Well, all because your mom wanted to be the fun mom. Everybody wants to be that house. It's so fun to get lectured after you flirt with somebody. Are you sure he's not joking? No. No, I mean, I did think he was joking at first, but when I giggled, you know, he was like hard up, no.

Okay. He's like, you have to be smart with money. I was like, okay. That's definitely weird. But listen, you guys don't know each other all that well. Is that fair to say? I mean, yeah, we know each other as zombies. more than as people, I guess.

And you've only worked together for this first year in the haunted house. There's a chance you could have misinterpreted what he was saying. And he may have been just playing along the whole time jokingly. Like, it's a weird thing to say, like, down the road, we're going to give out full-size candy bars. Maybe he was joking. Maybe he was trying to joke back and you didn't get it. And we should find out because Anthony's actually already on the phone. Oh.

Boom. We scared you. Sorry, I should have told you that. It's like the chainsaw guy at the end of the haunted house. Yeah, it's a haunted phone line. Anthony, you there? I'm here. Okay, tell me that you were just having fun with her with that.

That was a joke. No, I was, I was being serious. You could have just lied right now and just said it was a joke. You didn't have to be. I set you up. I don't think it's that big a deal. That's honestly how I feel. Like, why should I lie?

So because it's my dream, it's not important to you. If your dream is to bankrupt our future, family, then yeah. What are you like a haunted accountants now? You're serious about this, Anthony? Yeah, it's a bad idea. Our kids really wouldn't be able to go to college. All that money you're sitting on candy,

we should be investing in like a college fund. Oh, come on. Okay. I think she was just trying to flirt with you, Anthony. Yeah. I mean, I guess, but like I take financial literacy very seriously. You know what? Which is probably why you have a sense.

second job at the Halloween, on a house, yeah. You do have a point, Anthony, because I didn't even think about all the Dennis bills that you're going to rack up with those full-sized candy bars. You're handing them out. Your own kids aren't eating them, Jeffrey. You know that you eat the own candy that you give out. You know that better than anybody, bro. Oh, please.

I bet he wouldn't even let our kids have a full-sized candy bar. Oh, good point. By the way, how many kids are you guys planning on having? Yeah. How many fake zombie children are we having in the future? Exactly, zero, because I'm not going to be with him. I just think it's kind of silly to be arguing and deciding your dating life over future fictitious, full-size candy bars with your kids that don't even exist yet. Kind of a big deal.

I might put this on my dating profiles. Swipe left if you're not a full bar household. She's making our fake children way more important than the real me right now. That's true. I mean, Anthony, don't you think that Quinn is more important than your fake children down the road? when you put it that way like not really like oh he loves his fake children you care more about your future children no that's a good father anyone listening yeah don't shame an imaginary dad i mean there's a reason that they make the fun size candy bars though like that's a good

compromise everybody wins wait you're on the that's the fun size are not good they're like one biters yeah like how i bit her arm a one biter and that'll never happen again Is that something she's supposed to be disappointed in? I think so. She knows I'm the best fighter in the whole haunted house. He acts like I have somebody to compare him with. He's like the only biter. Well.

This is weird. I just think that you guys maybe are a little bit stressed out working together in this haunted house. Once the spooky season is over, cooler heads prevail. You guys are going to want to go out again. Yeah. I mean, if you guys are paying for it, then that's the smart financial. thing to do. So is that actually why you

call just for the free deal? No. I believe it. Well, that's kind of a yes from Anthony Quinn. Well, Anthony, I have a question for you. At Christmas time, how many presents would our fake children have? Oh, good question. I mean, they'll be getting savings bonds and the amount depends on the interest rate.

Oh, my God. Oh, bro. That's boring. Stucking Stofford, I got a bank note. Yes. Well, compounding interest is 9.62% right now. Okay, okay, buddy.

I'm falling asleep. I'm getting hot over here. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. In the new podcast, Hell in Heaven. Two young Americans move to the Costa Rican jungle to start over. But one will end up dead. The other tried for murder. Not once.

People went wild. Not twice. Stunned. But three times. John and Anne Bender are rich and attractive, and they're devoted to each other. They create a nature reserve and build a spectacular circular home high on the top of a hill.

But little by little, their dream starts to crumble. and our couple retreat from reality. They lose it. They actually lose it. They sort of went nuts. Until one night, everything spins out of control. Listen to Hell in Heaven on the I-Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I live below a cult leader, and I fear I've angered her. Well, wait a minute, Sophia.

You know she's a cult leader. Well, Dakota, luckily it's I'm not afraid of a cult leader. Scary Story Week on the OK Storytime podcast, so you'll find out soon. This person writes, My neighbor's been blasting music every day and doing dirt rituals, and now my ceiling is collapsing. I try to report them, but things keep getting weirder. I think they may be part of a cult.

Hold up, Sophia, a real-life cult? And what is a dirt ritual? No clue. But according to this person, contractors are tearing down the patio to find out what's going on with their ceiling, and her neighbors are not happy. Well, she needs to report them ASAP. She did.

And now they've been confronting her in really creepy ways all the time. So do we find out if this person survives their neighborhood cult or not? To hear the explosive finale, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You see, this is exactly why you never date your coworkers. Is that it? Whether it's in an office building or in a haunted house. I was going to say, it's kind of a unique situation. But it's the same deal.

Now, just imagine how awkward it's going to be in that haunted house. Dude, I love that there's some drama behind the haunted house. There's some tea behind the haunted house. I want, like, a couple fight to happen while I'm walking through it. Sure. I know I'm going to scare her. He's going to have to bite her, and she's going to be like, ugh, I'm already dead. It's just going to be weird in there now.

So, that's just a good thing to remember. Do not date your coworkers. That is what I have to say. That is my advice. That's what you got from it? Yes. I thought it was like maybe be a little bit more fun if you're going to be working at a haunted house. Yeah, that's true.

I like that one. A financially literate zombie is not very... How are you? Yeah. He's going to pull out his 10 key and do some of your taxes. He was a cannibal chef. So, how dare you? He's going to come out like, boom, the stock market.

Yeah. Like, oh, no, it's crumbling. You're going to have to raise the prices of eyeballs again. Because of inflation. Oh, my God. That's terrifying. But, yeah, I'm sorry it didn't work out for those two. Yeah, me too.

But it's probably for the best. It is for the best. And remember, we can help you with your dating life if you want us to. Just email the show. We'll call the person who isn't calling you back. Johnny Knoxville here. Check out Crimeless, Hillbilly Heist. My new true crime podcast from Smartless Media, Campside Media, and Big Money Players.

It's the true story of the almost perfect crime and the Nimrods who almost pulled it off. It was kind of like the perfect storm in a sewer. That was dumb. Do not follow my example. Listen to Crimeless, Hillbilly Heist, on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Two rich young Americans move to the Costa Rican jungle to start over, but one of them will end up dead and the other tried for murder three times. It starts with a dream, a nature reserve, and a spectacular new home. But little by little, they lose it, they actually lose it.

They sort of went nuts. Until one night, everything spins out of control. Listen to Hell in Heaven on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I live below a cult leader, and I fear I've angered her. Wait a minute, Sophia. How do you know she's a cult leader? Well, Dakota, luckily it's I'm not afraid of a scary story week on the OK story. Time podcast. So we'll find out soon. This person writes, my neighbor has been blasting music every day and doing dirt rituals. And now my ceiling is collapsing. I try to report them, but things keep getting weirder. I think they might be part of a cult. Hold up. A real life cult? And what is a dirt ritual? No clue, Dakota. To find out how it ends, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Big Take podcast from Bloomberg News keeps you on top of the biggest source.

Stories of the day. My fellow Americans, this is Liberation Day. Stories that move markets. Chair Powell opened the door to this first interest rate cut. Impact politics, change businesses. This is a really stunning development for the AI world and how you think about your bottom line. Listen to the big take from Bloomberg News every weekday afternoon

on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Kyle McLaughlin. You might know me as that guy from Twin Peaks, Sex and the City, or just the Internet stand. I have a new podcast called What Are We Even Doing, where I embark on a noble quest to understand the brilliant chaos of youth culture. Each week, I invite someone fascinating to join me to talk about navigating this high-speed rollercoaster we call reality. Join me and my delightful guests every Thursday, and let's get weird together in a good way. Listen to what are we even doing on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.