Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Saved By The Shrimp

Episode Date: May 24, 2024

The guy in today’s Second Date had to do something DRASTIC in order to save his date from going off the rails. Find out what it was in the podcast!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late-night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The forces shaping markets and the economy are often hiding behind a blur of numbers. So that's why we created The Big Take from Bloomberg Podcasts, to give you the context you need to make sense of it all.

Every day in just 15 minutes, we dive into one global business story that matters. You'll hear from Bloomberg journalists like Matt Levine. A lot of this meme stock stuff is, I think, embarrassing to the SEC. Follow The Big Take podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. Second date update. You guys ever heard of the Rocky dating hack? Hack? No. Yeah, dating hack.

A lot of guys use it when they're about to meet up with someone. What is it? You show up to the restaurant 10 minutes early, slide into the bathroom, you get down on the floor, and bust out a tight 50 push-ups so your chest gets nice and swole. You're on the floor and bust out a tight 50 push-ups so your chest gets nice and swole.

You're on the floor of the bathroom? That is gross. Rocky does it in like a meat closet. You're with a bunch of other dudes doing it as well. I would take a meat closet. Five of us on the ground. It's like a group workout in there and then your date shows up. They see you all puffed out

and masculine and suddenly they're thinking wow i didn't know i was on a date with secret hercules all right don't shake his hand you see these veins popping girl did it by the urinals that's for you one of our listeners emailed us saying he didn't just do push-ups he squeezed in an entire workout before his date, and he's worried maybe he may have overdone it. So Jack is his name. Jack, you think you were too yoked for your date? Or was he jacked up, Jeffrey? Was he jacked up?

I like that, bro. I'm going to do that Rocky trick from now on. I think that's the way I'm going to do it. Atta boy. Bathroom push-ups. Can't you guys run some stairs or do something outside instead? Not if you really care about this person. Yeah, I didn't work out in the bathroom.

That's mistake number one, we're going to call that. All right. What'd you do? You worked out at a gym? Gross. Yes, I worked out at a gym. It was a pretty intense workout. And I showered. I rushed straight over to the restaurant to meet her.

At least you showered. I know, but, like, after a big workout, like, I will shower, and then I'll still be sweating for the next half hour. Is that your issue? No, I mean, I sweat, definitely. I blasted the AC in my car. But once I arrived, I could tell that I was totally drained. It's just...

You felt a little tired for the day. We haven't gotten the girl's name that you met up with yet what's her name courtney courtney okay so what was that first interaction like then with her if you were exhausted well it was great i mean she was great she was really nice she got into our conversation she was asking me a lot of questions and it's good it was it was good but i felt bad because I couldn't keep up my other side because, again, I was like a wilted piece of lettuce sitting on an old musky burger. Oh, wow.

That is quite the analogy. Wow, yeah. Did you guys get food? Well, this is the thing. We ended up going to this restaurant that is a great restaurant, but it's a little slow. But the good thing was is that I can always dip into my energy emergency reserves. What?

What does that mean? So I always carry this thing around just in case I ever need it, and I definitely needed it. But I have a can of pre-cooked shrimp. Ew. A can? I thought you were going to say caffeine pills. Not like this. Why wouldn't you go like coffee?

You know, it does nothing for me. I needed the protein. Oh. Yeah, after you work out, you need nutrients, not just caffeine. Did you pop a tin of shrimp at the table? Yeah, kind of. Not exactly. I first asked our waiter if the kitchen could open

the can of shrimp in the back. Oh, keep it classy. Oh, yeah. I see. Okay. And the waiter kindly said, no, they can't do that. Yeah.

Yeah. You can't bring your own food into the restaurant and have them cook it for you? It's like a corkage fee, Jeffrey. You know? Well, eventually i convinced them to bring it to me the can opener that is and i said it's kind of urgent it's an emergency you

know really a strip emergency what is her face like what where is she at what's her vibe when you're doing all this uh i don't know i, maybe that's why she's not called me back. But, you know, the rest of the date was really awesome. And I think she was pretty cool about it. Like, she understood. I just can't imagine how stinky that is. I can't imagine how turned on she must have been seeing you down that shrimp right at the table.

Oh, maybe she wanted you to offer her some. Maybe that's why she's not calling you back. Did you offer her any? I did. I did offer her some. Maybe that's why she's not calling you back. Did you offer her any? I did. I did offer her some. She politely declined. At least you were a gentleman. She left her cocktail sauce at home. I know it sounds bad, but I was depleted

of protein. I needed it. I know, but it's like one of those things. Like, why didn't you go out to your car? Or just any other protein. And eat your car. Like, literally any other protein. I can guarantee she's not thinking, oh, I can't wait to kiss this guy later. Ew. After his canned shrimp. You were saying that after the shrimp, after you downed it, you felt better and things got back on track?

Yeah, everything was great, you know. We were riffing about our favorite movies and shows and we were making each other laugh. So I really believe that the shrimp saved the day. Oh. Wow. Saved by the shrimp. Well, okay, so that's not what was wrong that was what was right okay thank god for your emergency shrimp how did the night end uh with a hug and talk about another date and oh that's good sign i think so too and i'm a little shocked. She's not getting back to me.

Really? It's kind of weird. Well, are you going to need to down some shrimp before we make the phone call, or are you feeling okay? Just the juice. I'm protein-ed up. Don't worry. I don't appreciate the snarky attitude coming from my co-host and the skepticism over there.

It's just the timing, man. You had time between the gym and the showering and the driving to have done the shrimp without it being. He said he's protein up now. He's got like probably four eggs and seven clams in him right now. I recognize that it wasn't the ideal time, but I explained everything to her and why it works for me. And she understood. Oh, that's good.

Maybe he showed a six pack and that's why she was okay with it. Anything's good. Maybe he showed her a six-pack, and that's why she was okay with it. Anything's good after that. Well, I don't know how you're feeling right now, but if you have to blend up a little seafood smoothie for yourself, we'll come back. We're going to call Courtney and try and get you your second date update right after this, okay? I just took out an oyster.

Thanks. Oh, it's going to get romantic, too. All right, we're going to do it next. Hold on. Second date update. I know whenever I need a quick protein burst. Stop. I turn to the sea and all of her bounty.

Oh, come on, Jim. The song is ripe for it. It's safe to say our listener Jack is a seafood lover because he busted out a can of pre-cooked shrimp in the middle of his first date because he was feeling depleted after an intense workout right before. And shrimp apparently is a great source of protein if you're in a pinch. Yep. Did I not say shrimp? I don't know.

She's just processing it. I didn't hear you. Brooke is trying to forget this entire thing ever happened. Well, it's like you're at a restaurant. You couldn't have waited the 10 minutes more to get the appetizer? Apparently the service is too slow at the restaurant where they were at. Jack even himself admits

it might have seemed a little bit odd, but the shrimp ended up saving the day for him because those little prawns got everything back on track. Yeah, they did. Afterwards, him and Courtney had a great time together at the restaurant. Jack, I appreciate the tip.

And how would you feel if I told you right now we're getting a lot of texts into 78592 from dudes who are saying they're going to start doing the same thing on their dates? Emergency shrimp stash. Any sea life. I'm eating sea cucumbers if I need to. It would be good for our options of having a lot of second dates. You're a trendsetter, Jack. Well, I appreciate that. That's affirmation right there.

We all remember she's not calling it back, right? We all remember that. Yeah, but Brooke, if we want gains, we gotta follow his instructions. Okay. Two steps back, one step forward. Is that where we're at? Even if we're single, we'll be swole. I'm optimistic for you, Jack. Yeah. I know we're giving

you a hard time about it, but I could see it was an emergency, right? You know, I think it is. It was, yeah. Yeah. I about it, but I could see it was an emergency, right? You know, I think it is. It was, yeah. I heard it too. I didn't mean it as a joke, but let's just call Courtney. We'll see what she has to say, try and get you hooked up with her one more time, okay?

Cause of commotion. Okay. Guys, let's be serious here. We need to help Jack. Okay, I'm dialing your number right now. Don't be shellfish. Jack, I'm not very optimistic help Jack. Okay, everyone chill. I'm dialing your number right now. Don't be shellfish. Okay. Jack, I'm not very optimistic with this. Here we go.

They may edit that out. Hello? Hey, we're looking for Courtney. This is Courtney. Hey, Courtney, you're on a radio show right now. It's called Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Hi, good morning. How you doing, Courtney?

Hello? We scared her off. Are you there still? Did she hang up? I'm here. Oh. She's processing. Sorry.

Yeah, I know. That's a lot coming at you. You never answered our question. I didn't hear it. Is this a joke? No. This is a segment that we do called the Second Date Update. Okay. And we're trying to help out one of our listeners that you went out on a date with recently named Jack.

Oh. Yeah. Yeah? Remember Jack? Uh-huh. Oh. Okay. Don't sound too enthused.

So this is like you're calling me and then you want me to go on a second date? Kind of. Well, you know, basically we've talked to Jack a little bit. He told us about the time that you two spent together at the restaurant. He says he's tried to reach you a few times and you're not getting back to him. So we're just trying to help give him a little bit of clarity. If there was something bad that happened, if something's going on in your life, we just

don't know. My life is great. That's good. Way to go, Courtney. Did you like Jack? I thought Jack was a nice guy. That's a good thing. I feel like there's a but, Courtney. He's a nice guy, but... a good thing. I feel like there's a but, Courtney. Like, what's the, he's a nice guy, but. Did he tell you about the shrimp?

Oh. Well, yeah. Yeah, we weren't going to bring it up. There was some shrimp talk that happened, that there was a can of shrimp that came out. And there was a lot of questioning on our end, like, about his timing. I'll tell you that. But from our understanding, it was like an emergency where he needed to do it

or else the date was going to really tank. That's what he said, you know, and I understood that and I think, like I said, I think he's a nice guy.

Can you walk us through like the shrimp moment? Like this guy pulls out a can of shrimp. Well, we're sitting at the table and so then he flags down the waiter and he's like, it's an emergency and his body needs protein.

And I just feel like I'm on a TV show or something. I'm looking around to see if there are cameras. Is this real? The waiter is as perplexed as I am. And he got the can opener, finally. And Jack opens it right there sure and oh we hadn't gotten far enough in the date for me to even tell him i'm a vegetarian oh oh that doesn't help you're eating tiny animals right in front of you but he doesn't know that about you no and absolutely he's not trying to be rude or anything

like that but it was it was more that i couldn't see myself with somebody who's opening a can of shrimp at the restaurant what if he cracked open a can of cauliflower would you have been happier it would have it would have been less awkward probably You can't see yourself with a man who carries emergency shrimp in his pocket. Let's not shrimp shame. That's not fair. As I was trying to see past the shrimp, he then proceeded to reach in his pocket and pull out a boiled egg. Wait, what? He had a hard-boiled egg, too?

He brought shrimp and eggs? And straight protein. He pulled an egg out of his pocket. Oh. We've never heard about the eggs, by the way. He's like a magician of protein. Yeah, for real. He was like, oh, man, man, I can't believe I forgot about this, which is, oh, I should have thought of this earlier.

I'm so stupid. And the smell was just too much for me. Well, eggs were in his mouth on the date. There might be a little egg on his face as he's listening to this. I like that, Jeff. You didn't know this, Courtney, but Jack's on the other line right now. What? What are you talking about?

Yeah, that's how this segment works. Sounds like he's in the background opening up another can. Jack, you there? Oh. Yeah, yeah. Hi, Jack. Hey. Hi, Courtney.

Yeah, I'm sorry that it was such an awkward start. Honestly, if there had been any other way for me to go about getting protein, I would have done that, but it was necessary. I mean, you were technically at a restaurant where you could have ordered protein. In a pinch. But I understand. Chicken understand chicken breast you know you're panicked it's an emergency you do whatever you have to do and and i understand that too but i didn't think you would misunderstand me not responding i thought i was pretty clear yeah i mean i had a great time on the date and yeah maybe that that was a weird way to start. And so I apologize for that.

I will say, to Jack's credit, like he's coming in pretty level-headed after hearing. I mean, we were pretty brutal on him. That's a good point. Jack, what is the frequency? How often do you need to dive into your emergency protein stash? Oh, I never thought of that. I mean, he's putting it in his pocket on the daily. Forgetting where eggs are.

He's talking about eggs on your body. He's like, oh, I've been here the whole time. Oh, my codeine is two weeks old. It's called the emergency stash for a reason. It's a rare time that I go in there. So it really was, in my opinion, kind of an emergency. Well, you should add a can opener to your emergency stash. Or get a pull tab or something like that.

Yeah, the pull tab ones. I just imagine them like being married way down the line and she's trying to help with laundry. Just finding cans of seafood in his pocket. Pulling out big legs of flam. Is this a starfish? What is going on? You guys aren't helping right now. No, I know.

Sorry, sorry. But if anything, Courtney, you can hear that he's being such a good sport about this. Yeah, absolutely. He admits that it wasn't the best look for the first date. He just didn't know what else to do. So if you're willing to give him another shot, we would love to send you out on a second date at Red Lobster.

Oh. She's a vegetarian. What's she going to do? Just eat the. Cheddar biscuits, baby. I mean, Jack, I appreciate you. And I'm glad we can, like, laugh about this. And honestly, I'm sorry I didn't just tell you I was offended.

Now I'm realizing how important it is to me that I date somebody that is also a vegetarian. Oh, what? So it kind of took the situation to the extreme enough that I realized, you know, what am I going to have in common with someone if our lifestyle habits don't add up? Yeah, I mean, look, I get it. I'm somebody who does this for my body for my health you do that for your body and your health and i respect that so i really wish you guys would reconsider it sounds like an excuse to me jack like she if she really felt that way she probably would have told you

before the date happened wow i mean why you turned her off from all meat eaters forever? It just takes one bad date to turn everything. It takes one can of shrimp to do it, apparently. All right, Jack, well, I'm sorry, man, but remember, there's always plenty of other fish in the sea. Fish and shrimp and crustaceans, all that you can eat. It's a buffet out there. Yeah, you're so ripped. I bet you have a good albacore. Okay, let that you can eat. It's a buffet out there. Yeah, you're so ripped. I bet you have a good albacore. Okay, let's end it now.

And we're grounded, okay. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. I'm surprised. I felt like I was in the minority calling her out for using an easy excuse to get out of the second date. No, I don't think it was an excuse. I really truly think that that was a revelation for her.

I think it's legit. Really? Like, I think that she had an epiphany. Epiphany? I'm a vegetarian and I'm only going to date vegetarians? Yeah. I think that he made her realize that. That's what she wanted.

I smelled that shrimp and was like, I don't know if I like it. I feel like if that was true, like if it's true, that's totally fine. Sure. But I feel like she would have said it at some point in her dating profile or mentioned it during her date or even after her date at some point. She didn't know that it was something she needed. She didn't bring it up with us until the very

end of the call where she wanted to seem nice where we asked her out. She's like, actually, I think at this point I'm only going to date vegetarians. She had her epiphany on the phone with us. I'm not grossed out by him eating shrimp and eggs. That's not the problem. It's that he's not a vegetarian. Maybe she was epiphany on the phone with us. I'm not grossed out by him eating shrimp and eggs. That's not the problem.

It's that he's not a vegetarian. Maybe she was trying to save his feelings. Yeah, I think that's what. And maybe this is apropos for the moment, but something's fishy about what she said right there. Was this all a setup for that? If she busted out like a zucchini and a radish, she would have been like, you're amazing. So I'm going to give her a pass,

say, okay, she skirted her way out with an okay excuse. I think she's literally on a vegetarian dating app as we speak. I think she's going to go out to a steakhouse with Gordon Ramsay

on her next date. She's looking for tofu boys. That's what she's looking for. Soy boys. Well, whatever type of man or boy you're looking for, we'll try and hook you up with them. Just email the show.

We'll call that person who isn't calling you back. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini is because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on

Bumble. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show, Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. global business story that matters. You'll hear from Bloomberg journalists like Matt Levine. A lot of this meme stock stuff is, I think, embarrassing to the SEC. Follow The Big Take podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen.