Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Slept Like A Baby

Episode Date: March 22, 2022

Ditching your date after first meeting is bad. But one of our listeners swears he has a good reason for why he did exactly that…See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now plus you'll get special content just for podcast listeners like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines listen on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts second date update can we all just acknowledge that cars are pretty amazing Second Date Update.

Can we all just acknowledge that cars are pretty amazing? Dude. Yeah, dude. For real. It blows my mind when I'm driving sometimes. Seriously. And there's a whole little world inside that other person's car. What are they talking about?

What are they listening to? What are they doing? Yeah, exactly. And they can do so much for us. They help us get places that we need to be. They can serve as many restaurants if you don't have time to go inside and sit down. So true. Some of them transform into robots and save the planet from destruction from invaders.

No, no, no. That's Transformers. Yeah, exactly. That's a documentary. No, no, no. That's a feature film. Lots of CGI. Oh, okay.

Isn't Megan Fox in that or something? Yeah, she's not a historical figure. Yeah. And the thing is, there's a few cars that can even play matchmaker and bring a lonely man and a lonely woman together. All right. And that's what happened to one of our listeners, Forrest. He met a woman thanks to a very, very seductive little car.

What? Is it one of those bugs that have the fake eyelashes on it? That's what I'm picturing. He's like, oh, it just winked at me. No, he didn't hook up with his car. Oh, that's good. At least I hope. Right, Forrest?

No, I didn't hook up with the car. Okay. Well, you know. Some of our listeners, it's a question that we need to ask. I would have been willing to see if the car wanted to go on a second date. The gas tank was open. What am I supposed to do? Honk twice for yes.

Mano, tell us about the girl that you want us to call. What's her name? Her name is Chrissy. Okay. I'm guessing the cars have something to do with how you guys met? Yeah. We were both checking out the same used car at the dealership i was checking out a few cars by it and she came over with i'm guessing her sister and we started

chatting about the car and then i didn't even realize the sister had left to go look for another car i was so enraptured in the conversation I was having. Well, and it's a good sign. I'm just saying as a sister, if you're leaving your sister, you're like, all right, I'll give you a minute. I'll give you a minute. Maybe she's just a bad sister, though. No, you're always in tune. Come on.

Or she had ADD and saw something shiny. So did you end up asking Chrissy out? Eventually. Yeah. Because you see, she was determined to get the car. I was determined to get the car. I said, whichever one of us gets the car should end up driving the other one around. Yep, I thought the same.

Oh, that's an easy opening. You pick me up or I'll pick you up. All right. Right? I mean, she was a little hesitant at first. She didn't really know me. So I said, well, that's what a first date is for, to get to know somebody. Good point.

Nice. That was good. And you spelled it out, which is important. Yeah. First date. Say those words. So what did she say? Did she get the car?

Did you get the car? I ended up getting the car, and I'm half convinced she said yes, because I have the car. Oh, no. So, oh, I see. She just wanted to ride around because I have the car. Oh, no. So, I see. She just wanted to ride around with you for one day. No, no. I mean, like, whether it was or not, she said yes, which you got the same results either way. Sure.

It's funny that, like, a used car is the thing that you think that she was after. I'm picturing it's like a Honda Civic or something, which great car, very reliable, you know, but not really a sex symbol. Well, maybe to some people it is. I mean, you know, you learn when you're in your late 20s that practicality is more sexy than flashy. That's a good point, sir. Amen, amen. So what did you end up doing for your date? We actually ended up going to this fish and chips place, which was pretty cool.

Okay. I love that. She Ubered there. Okay. So I said I wouldn't mind driving her back in my new car. I definitely flexed the new car. Was it rubbing it in at that point? I know, kind of.

The new used car. The one that you didn't get. I kind of was rubbing it in, but it was kind of like. Playful. That's why we're both here like okay okay did she take you up on the ride home or no well that's the weird thing we were getting to my car and we get outside and there's the department store right next to the place and she says it's gonna sound weird you mind if we go in there i just have to pick something up i'm

never in this part of town. Okay. Sure, I guess. That's fine. That's a good sign that she wants to continue the date with you. She could have just gone in all by herself. Exactly. So I went inside with her and she was specifically looking for towels. Okay. Now, this is a big place with many floors. So I personally wasn't sure where the towels were. All right. many floors so i personally wasn't sure where the towels were all right but she was so i just kind of started walking around because there were kitchen appliances there and everything you could think of clothes yeah we've been into an apartment store before we no but he sounds like

a guy yeah we understand they're amazing they have everything yeah it's pretty cool did she ever come back with their towels well how is the thing So I went to go look at the mattresses, and, you know, I'm figuring, oh, I might need a new mattress, depending on how well the seat goes. What? Wait, you're about to break your mattress, bro? Or you're going to bring her home a new mattress because yours isn't very good? That's wishful thinking, man. I had a good attitude. It was over, you know open that fish and chip power really

went right to your head let me break the car try that tartar sauce okay so you're now you're testing mattresses yeah so testing mattresses and i was sitting on a couple and then on one i lied down and I thought that's very nice. You know, I'm thinking to myself, I'll close my eyes for just a minute. Oh no. That's where you're going. That's the group awe. Yep, you can all

tell what's going to happen. You fell asleep? The bed was really comfy. Oh wow. Oh dude. Oh, I hope you bought that mattress. No, what happened to her? Oh, right.

She's still there. Did she never find you? I couldn't find her. I looked all over the department store, which took a long time. Yeah. So wait, how long were you asleep for? I mean, it was less than an hour. I know that.

So you never found her? Wow. No, I never, you know, she hasn't gotten back to me since. Oh, my God. Did you tell her what happened? Did you text her or call her and explain? Bro, that's what's going on. I texted her, but she never responded, so I don't even know if she saw.

That's obvious. You guys, it's obvious. She thinks he ditched her when he didn't. Or she saw him asleep and was like, I'm going to go. Oh, I didn't think of that. Let's figure this out. We're going to play a song. We'll come back.

Don't lay down on any mattresses. Okay, please, Forrest. Because when we come back, we'll call Chrissy and we'll get you a second date update. All right? All right, cool. Second date update. All right, cool. they went to a department store so Chrissy could pick up a few towels really quick before Forrest was going to drive her home in his new used car. And while he was in the store, Forrest made the mistake of laying down on one of the mattresses and he dozed off.

By the time he woke up, he had no idea how much time had passed, but Chrissy was gone and he hasn't been able to reach her since so now he's hoping we can call her so he can say hey mama you know there's room on this mattress for two yeah you want some of this tempur-pedic oh maybe he just wants to get another chance at a date i'm just saying it's a line that you can use if you want to, Forrest. Feel free. I guess I might use it if I'm desperate, but hopefully

not. Oh, man. I mean, hopefully this is just a big miscommunication. Or a total lack of communication from being asleep. But you know what I mean. Yeah. All right, Forrest, how are you feeling? I'm feeling kind of confident, you know? I feel like you guys are going to do a good job

and that she's going to give me another chance. Okay. Well, you should listen to the show more. Yeah. All right. As long as you're not feeling sleepy, then I'm ready to do it. Okay. Good point. Okay?

He's right. You ready? No, no. Not sleeping. Yeah. All right. Here we go. I'm going to dial the number. Hello? Hi, I'm looking for Chrissy. This is she. May I ask who's calling?

Yes, you may, Chrissy. This is Jeffrey from the radio show Broken Jeffrey in the Morning. Oh, did I win something? Because I don't think I like... In a way, you may have won something. Do a car. No, no, no. Don't tell her that.

No, we're not going there. But I am calling on behalf of one of our listeners who's trying to get a hold of you. Oh. His name's Forrest. Okay. Less excitement. Yeah, she was more excited when we were joking about the car.

I'd rather win something. Don't blame you. Here's the deal. We're doing something called a second date update. I'm not sure if you're familiar, but it's where if you go out with someone and afterwards, if they're not calling you back, you can email our show and we'll reach out to that person for you to try and figure out the reason why. What do you want me to say you literally want me to tell you exactly why i don't want to see him again well it sounds like that would be great thanks yeah yeah jeffrey's right i feel bad for him it's really embarrassing i mean i it doesn't do anything to me i'll tell you um i don't know if he told you after dinner we he took me to like this department store that I really needed to go to because I needed to get a gift for someone.

He told us that whole story. And he did. And he feels extremely embarrassed about falling asleep on the mattress there. Did you even know he fell asleep? We did tell you that. So what happened was I went into the department store to get towels i thought he was just like one area away but it turns out he wasn't and i actually i was like searching for him for a good 10 minutes i thought he ditched me right which is a terrible feeling i

mean he no terrible but then i saw him actually in the corner laying on a mattress but did he tell you it wasn't like an adult mattress. It was a kid-sized bed, like a child bed. No. No, he didn't. But no, that's not even the worst part. Not only did he fit and he was curled up in like the fetal position, but he was sucking on his thumb

and the other hand was down his pants. Shut up. He didn't tell you that part, did he? No, he didn't say anything about that. That's just a natural reflex. Jose's really defensive because honestly, Jose's a thumb sucker. Yeah, my hand's down my pants right

now. That too. That's a different thumb. Okay, so you see this and then what do you do? I didn't want to wake him. I wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. I called an Uber, and I left. What? And imagine being the person that knows the person that fell asleep on a child-sized bed.

But think about it. Have you ever been walking, and they have those cool, like, kids' beds that you used to want when you were little that has, like, the fairy canopy that hangs over it? Have you ever wanted, I mean, like, all the pillows all the pillows like makes me want to lay down in it but you don't exactly you don't definitely don't on a first date i'm just trying to get like some empathy towards this guy here's the thing chrissy i don't even know if forest knows that he was doing that or maybe he was hiding it from us when he omitted it from his story. Yeah, he did not tell us that.

No, but there's a way we can find out for sure. Okay. Hal, you just check later? No, because he's actually on the other line listening right now. And he wants to talk to you. Oh, um, this is so awkward. I didn't know he'd be on the line like this. I don't know what to say.

Sorry. I ate a bunch of fish and chips before this and I fell asleep mid the thing and I forgot. He's there. Forrest, you there? Yeah, sorry. Just taking a moment to process everything. This is a lot of new information that I, you know. Look, this is just as awkward for me as it is for you

because I'm the one that let people know what you did. How are you embarrassed? I don't get that. It's just so weird. You could have just woken me up. You could have found me. You could have been like, hey, I would have immediately. I barely know you and you fell asleep sucking your thumb with your

hand down your pants. If I had gone up to you, then everyone there would have known that i was with you and like i mean it was just i fell asleep because i had so many fries and i guess i just felt really comfortable yeah you're still like digging yourself a hole here it doesn't make me feel any more secure that you felt comfortable with me enough to eat to your body's desire. And Forrest, when you were talking to us, you said that you were laying down on the mattresses

testing them out to buy them. Why are you testing out a children's mattress? Oh, yeah. It wasn't a children's mattress. Yes, it was. Yes, it was. It was a twin mattress. Wait, of course, I know money can be tight at times,

but you're a grown man in a twin mattress? You were going to bring her home into that? Exactly. That is what I'm thinking. You have women come home with you and put them in a twin-sized mattress? She's embellishing a little bit. It wasn't that small. It was smaller.

I'm not embellishing. Like, stop. wasn't that small. It was smaller. No, I'm not embellishing. Like, stop. You realize you just keep looking ridiculous. No, it was the same bed you'd get in a college dorm room. It's not any better. You're almost 30. You're almost 30. Do you really want to say it's the

same bed? But Chrissy, don't women always say it's not the size of the bed, it's how you use it? Yeah, and women that say that are lying, okay? That is a lie that we tell you guys to make you feel better. Women say that, but it's not true. Okay, well, maybe you can go back to

the store and get a California King. I know, I'm not interested in that. I'm interested in the bed I had in college, because that's where I got the most action. Seriously? Oh my god. Well well this is going terribly but i need to ask i'm really done with this kid i can't before before you're before you're officially done i have to ask you chrissy would you be willing to go out on one more date with forest no you can take his mattress for a test drive. See that? No. No, she literally called him a kid.

Okay, but we would pay for it. How about that? How about you just give me the money? Pay for the towels that I bought. Yeah, no, that's not an option. I'm sorry, Chrissy. Chrissy, if you didn't find me asleep in that department store bed, you and I would be asleep on it together right now. Oh. No, because I would have seen you in your little college dorm bed and would have gotten so turned off because you're about to turn 30.

Didn't you say your birthday was next month? Duh, that's why I wanted a present for myself. A new mattress. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes.

More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real

progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more.

Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.