Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Sloshing or Swimming

Episode Date: March 7, 2022

We have to give it up for the guy on the phone today...He was put in a really tough situation, and was willing to admit something on air...That turned out to be one of the most embarrassing things we've ever heard...See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Second Date Update. With online dating, is it okay to look different than your profile pictures? Not in dating. I know I like to use my dad in my pictures. Because that's what I'm going to look like in 40 years. So they know what future me is going to be.

You do not want a girl to see your dad and also still say, oh, daddy. You're not good. Or do I? No, you don't. Well, one of our listeners had a little bit of a different approach. Hopefully he didn't use his mom in his pictures. But even if he did, that's not going to be the worst thing in the world. Yeah, maybe.

Let's talk to him, though. Dave, welcome to the show. Hey, how are you? Good. Doing well. Do you sound like to him, though. Dave, welcome to the show. Hey, how are you? Good. Doing well. Do you sound like your voice, too, Dave, in real life? I do, yeah. Let's just take your radio voice.

But your dad has a sexy voice, though. Okay. Oh, thanks. Yeah. He said thanks. All right, well, tell us about the lady that you met online. What's her name? Her name's Maddie, and she's awesome. She's gorgeous. She's funny. She's a small business

owner. It's kind of like a complete package. Wow. Okay. So you saw her and immediately thought, wow. Well, we met online, actually. We met on a dating app, and I messaged her, and she messaged back. Yeah. So you said in your email that you met online and that your picture was a little bit different than what you actually look like what does that mean exactly well i had a um i had a really long beard for about seven years and i decided a few weeks ago that i was going to do something different and i shaved it all off and now i'm baby why would you get rid of a beard that majestic so shocked you get yeah my mom she has a story about when she was dating my dad and he had a huge beard it was like the

70s or whatever right shaved it all off and she slammed the door on him oh she's like he looks so creepy with beady little eyes like i've seen those videos of babies that cry when their dad shaves their beards because they don't recognize them. In your opinion, how do you look without the beard, Dave? It's nice to see my chin again. I've missed it. I bet you look younger, though. That's always a good thing. But did you warn her this?

Because she probably didn't even recognize you. I did, actually. Before we met up, I made a point just saying, hey, I'm going to have something new going on with my beard. New going on with my beard doesn't mean no beard. She's going there looking for a guy with a beard still. Yeah, that's tough. That's because I decided I was going to wear one still. Because our texts were really playful and really flirty,

so I figured I'd kind of be funny and wear a really big fake beard like obnoxiously large fake beard it went down past my belt okay well that's a risk that is a risk who's that wizard in the corner how did she react when she saw you in the fake beard she thought it was hilarious she came in and she laughed with me and know, I ripped it off and showed her my baby face. Is that when she didn't scream or anything after you ripped it off? Yeah, that's like a roller coaster of emotions there. We just had a really good laugh about it. She's a great sport.

That's actually really good, though. She laughed at it. She laughed and she gets your humor. You guys are on the same page. Off to a good start. So what happens next? So we decide that we're just going to get a couple of cups of coffee and kind of walk around a little bit. Okay.

We end up over at this really big park. We walked for, I don't even know how long. It was a long time. Oh, that's sweet, though. It's like one of those where you're, like, lost in conversation and you didn't realize how far you had gone. Or just lost literally in the park and you don't know how to get out. A little column A, a little column B. Okay.

I just imagine you, like, holding a cup of coffee in one hand and then a fake beard in the other hand what did you do with it yeah you tie it around your waist i stuffed it into my pocket okay all right so tell us more about the walk through the park um so we're walking we're talking we're having a good time and it's getting really hot. And I start sweating. Hot, hot, like, like hot outside or the conversation's getting hot outside. No, not hot between us, just hot outside. All right. Okay.

We're in public. It makes it hotter, bro. Sorry. My clothes are getting really sweaty. I start feeling a little self-conscious about it, but I don't say anything. And at one point i thought she was going to because she turns to me and she's like hey you know my business isn't far from here we could stop in and i'll give you a tour uh and it's a clothing shop that she owns

so i kind of was thinking she's going to offer me some shirt to wear something it wasn't a sweatshop okay poor thing like what do you do too, you can't control your sweat glands, you know? That sucks. Put the beard back on and cover up all the stains. Yeah. So hot. Okay. So you went out to, you went and visited her shop, you said? We did.

We ended up walking over to her shop, and she kind of gave me a quick tour of it, had a little more conversation. She did not say anything about my sweat or offer a shirt or anything like that, so it was kind of a relief. Yeah. Especially since it was women's clothing.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. There's that. And then we ended up walking all the way back to the coffee shop. So I got even more sweaty. Oh, man.

Dude. How drenched was your shirt? Oh, I don't know. Oh, it was not pretty. It was pretty gross. Did you go in for a hug no she did oh that's good yeah surprised the hell out of me i was so gross the self-awareness i think helps though too did you make a joke about it because i mean like you

guys had already joked about the beard the not beard or whatever you want to say no actually i was actually feeling really self-conscious about it, so I didn't say anything. Okay. So it sounds like you ended it on a pretty good note. What's happened since the date? Have you been in contact with her still? No. That was the last time I spoke with her.

I've tried to reach out a couple of times, and total silence. Oh, man. I mean, maybe she... God, I guess I would say she didn't think you were interested, because'm guessing on the hug you were like, ah, don't touch me. You know, like. Like, what are you thinking in your head might be the problem? You think the sweat is going to be the issue or the lack of a beard when you came to the park? I hope it's not the lack of the beard.

I think I look pretty good without the beard. Can you grow one out in the next five minutes while we play a song? Just in case. Just push really hard. Yeah, absolutely yeah absolutely okay because we're gonna play something we'll come back call maddie for you and try and get your second date update all right thanks guys i appreciate it all right hold on second date update fake beards sweaty clothes and wet hugs that's how the ladies like it ladies do you agree he's not getting a call back that's how dave's first date with maddie went at the very least their long walk through the park on a sunny day caused him to get a little warm so warm that he soaked through his shirt still had a pretty good conversation with maddie and even got a hug at the very end. But after that. I don't care if you're in the shower. A wet hug sounds awful.

Yeah. Any time of the day. If you use the word moist, a nice moist hug. No, that's not better. A little bit. That's worse. I kind of like it. Afterwards, Maddie has 100% ghosted.

Yeah. And look, Dave, if Maddie never brought up the sweat thing during the day and you didn't bring it up, then I'm probably not going to mention it to her either when we call her. That's fine by me, please. She may have not noticed because if she went for a hug, I just don't think that she did. However, when she was in that embrace, there may have been like some regrets. Yeah.

Or even smells. I don't know. I didn't think about that. Yeah. Well, you guys are making it sound worse than I thought it was. You thought she was bringing you to her clothing store to get you a new shirt. I mean, no, I thought it was bad for sure. Well, we're going to call her now and see what she has to say.

I'm going to dial her number. You feeling ready, ma'am? I'm set. Do you want me to mute? No, but maybe change your shirt if you have to yeah wet shirt better than wet pants i've got paper towels stuffed into my armpits right now let's do this here we go hello i'm looking for Maddie.

This is she? Is this? Hey, Maddie, my name's Jeff, and I'm on a radio show called Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. We're all here. Hey, Maddie. Hey. Like, radio?

Radio? Yeah. We have a podcast, too. Do you know what those are? I feel like people are forgetting what radio is. I know. Does that make us sound cooler? Yeah. We're a podcast, too. Do you know what those are? I feel like people are forgetting what radio is. I know. Does that make us sound cooler? We're on FM radio if it makes it cooler. Yeah. Is this like a joke or did I win something, I hope?

No, this is not a joke. This is a segment that we do called the Second Date Update, which you may have heard of before. But it's where we help people get in touch after they've gone on a date with someone and can't get a hold of them anymore. I don't know if I'm interested in this, but thank you anyway. Well, hold on. Maddie, you don't even know who we're talking about yet. It's somebody who really likes you.

Somebody named Dave? Oh, yeah. Yeah? Yeah. Is what you mean to say. Oh, yeah. Yeah? Yeah. Is what you mean to say? Oh, yeah. Uh-huh. What is it about him that you want to know?

Do you need a character witness or something? Oh, I love you. What the heck? That's a big jump. Dave seemed like a pretty cool dude when we talked to him. Yeah. Why would you say that? We talked to him about the date that you guys went on on and he told us that it was a really nice time so what we're trying to figure

out is did something go wrong did he mess up somewhere maybe he insulted you in some way and that's why you're not calling him back no i mean he's a nice he's a perfectly nice guy and we can just like leave it like that great he's a perfect guy. So why don't you give him another chance? He's a perfectly nice guy. Like I'm not saying he's a perfect guy. Nobody is a perfect guy. Oh, okay. Well, that's really rude.

Can I ask, were you not attracted to him after you showed up and he didn't have a beard like he did in the picture? Oh, the whole beard thing? No. We had a laugh about that. Like that's not it at all. Would you mind telling us, like, what the reason is? Because he's really confused. He feels like it was a really good day.

Well, there was just a situation that happened afterwards, and I just don't know how comfortable I feel talking about it. Wait, you said after. How far, like, after the date? Like, the next day after the date we didn't hear anything about the next day i didn't think of that was dave involved in the situation somehow i mean if you guys really want to know yes i can tell you but it's just really so we like weird basically we are weird well like i own a store and basically he came in the next day i wasn't working but one of the girls who works for me was working and she said that a guy

had come in and he was acting really strange and he was just he's pretending to browse and it was like looking at certain items but then he didn't buy anything and then he went to the bathroom and he didn't even ask to go to the bathroom and you know and then and then he just left without buying anything and so I went to the video cameras later on that night and I noticed it was Dave. Weird. Yeah. Yeah, but that's not that weird. Like, what if he just came in to see you and like was awkwardly waiting for you and he's nervous? It was just so weird for him to come back and then he spent so long in the restroom and there was just no need for him to be back.

That is really awkward if it's a small store and you're just in the bathroom. It's very awkward. Yeah. And I will say it's weird that he didn't tell us about that when we talked to him because it seems like a pretty like we asked him and he said he called you he didn't say that he went and tried to look for you yeah so i wish that we could offer you an explanation for that but maybe dave should just do it himself because he's been listening on the other line he's in the bathroom right now yeah oh my god um like why do you guys why do you

want this to be out like i just this is just how it works dave yeah hey yeah go ahead talk to her explain what happened uh i'm trying to figure out where to start man um well first of all i think i probably owe you an apology uh i guess from your perspective i can see how that would be super weird yes apology accepted not you jeff oh to maddie okay sorry oh that makes more sense um i don't really want to explain why i was there because that what what that's pretty embarrassing um you were just there to see her, right? Oh, my God. You guys said you weren't going to talk about it with her, but now I'm going to have to. What?

Okay. Well, you should. I mean, because I need to hear the truth. So you let me know. Or, I mean, we're definitely not going to hang out. So. Okay. All right.

You know what? Nothing to lose. It's all on the line now. Probably not going to get a second date anyway. So here goes. What? What is going on? Why did you go back to

the store and why were you in the bathroom for so long so i don't know maddie if you noticed but i was so sweaty from our walk i was drenched yeah shirts um yeah it was gross and remember when you gave me the tour and i said i had to hit the head real quick to pee. Is that how you described it on a date? Just say you had to go to the bathroom, dude. I'm nervous just now. I'm going to go drain the snake. Deep breath there, Dave. All right, you had to use the bathroom.

So you used the bathroom while you guys were on the date at the shop? I went into the bathroom. I didn't use it. What was happening in there was my boxers were so soaking wet with sweat, they were sloshing so i took them off oh my gosh squashing is an interesting term oh that is so bad you're like swimming yeah okay yeah i was swimming in my own okay i know we told you to tell us but now i'm regretting this decision i took my boxers off and i didn't want to carry around sweaty nasty boxers for the rest of our day

I left them in the bathroom and I didn't want her to find them so I had to go back and get them why did it take you so long in the bathroom to find them then? Well, I didn't want to look like I was shoplifting anything, so I just went into the bathroom, put on some nasty boxers, and walked out. No! Oh, no. Oh, God, dude. Gross, bro.

This is bad. You purposely put on dirty underwear. That's why you waddled out of the store. Oh, please. You guys are making it sound so bad. Maddie, I don't think it's that bad. He just wanted to, like, you know. She doesn't wear underwear. I just, no, I'm being serious.

Like, it's a super embarrassing story. He was really vulnerable. He's sharing it with you. Like, you've got to understand at this point. Maddie, he must seem much more attractive to you now that you've heard the truth. I mean, that's so weird. I don't know.

If we have a second date, we'll have an interesting story about the first. Uh-uh. Try again, Dave. I mean, it's all on the line. I might as well. At this point, we got to lose, right? What are you feeling, Maddie? Where are you at?

I mean, I am a little creeped out, but that was really nice that you at least explained why you were creeping around the store. Okay, that's good. She said she's creeped out, not grossed out. I can work with creeped out. There we go. Really? You can come back from the creep.

And we'd like to help you get there, Maddie. We'd like to send the two of you out on a non-creepy, non-gross date. Yes. No boxers whatsoever. No sweat. No physical activity whatsoever is key. Well, however you want to do it, we'll pay for the date. What do you say, Maddie?

Okay, we'll go for a date. Yay! Good job, Dave. Thanks, guys. I was totally sweating over here. Put the boxers back on, dude. I look forward to hanging out with you again, Maddie. I just really hope the air conditioning is working where we go.

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The creditor and issue of this card is U.S. Bank National Association pursuant to a license from Visa USA, Inc. Some restrictions may apply. Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because

you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer.

If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it.

For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines.

Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.