Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Slumming With A Soap Carver

Episode Date: November 9, 2021

The woman on the phone today is definitely attracted to a very unique "type" of guy... And we can't tell if she's a saint or a villain for it....See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

John Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Second Date Update. You know, we meet so many different types of people on these Second Date Updates. Yeah, we do. Sometimes we don't really have a lot of time to go into what they do for a living. That's true. We never actually ask them that. But I'm going to make time today.

Okay. It doesn't seem really relevant to someone's date. Well, because Chris is on the phone and he put something in his email to us that I'm going to need an explanation for. So, Chris, you said you already talked to your date about this, so I'm not blowing it for you, but apparently in your spare time you're a soap carver? Yeah. What does that mean?

Basically you take a standard bar soap and you take specific tools for that and you'll carve it into different works of art or different shapes. Okay. So you take like Irish Spring and turn it into different works of art or different shapes okay so yeah so you take like irish spring and turn it into the mona lisa pretty much yeah yeah interesting i've seen a lot of prison movies over the weekend and soap carving a lot different than what you just described but i don't know you're the expert so that's another way to carve soap yeah yeah he's just carving

shanks so wait does this have anything to do with your date yeah why don't you start with who you met what's the name of the girl jill jill how'd you meet her so we met on one of those dating sites where the girl has to choose you uh-huh um and it's kind of weird because i'm gonna to be honest, like most of the girls that choose me are a little different from this girl. This girl is a lot more attractive. Oh. I mean, that's a nice way of putting it. I was a little surprised, kind of like,

I don't even know if she's real kind of thing. This girl is really hot. You thought she was maybe like a bot or somebody catfishing you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. This was just kind of like, oh, okay. I had to literally look and make sure she wasn't from Russia. I love that we're so jaded that instead of being excited about it, you're like, yeah, right.

Let me message this one. This must be a mistake. Did you mean to swipe left? I hate the internet. Yeah, you know what I mean? It's just kind of like you know where you you are so she was out of your league i know where i stand i know where i stand in the pack i appreciate that chris so i was like okay this is a little weird but i i'm gonna mess your or

we she messaged me and so we started talking and i was like okay i want to set up a date with her at this point at this point were you trusting her or did you still not believe she was who she said she was? Still didn't believe. No. Of course I didn't. Once again, I'm batting out of my league here.

So something's a little weird. So I set up a golf date with her. Something that's just, you know, not boring. Like you sit at a dinner table and stare at each other for an hour.

Like, I hate that. Is this a mini golf course or a real golf course? No, this is a real golf course. Like a full golf course. Oh. Yeah. At a country club?

Not a country club. Oh, okay. A public golf course. Yeah. Okay. Not as exciting. That's all right. Hear his voice?

Oh, a public golf course. Yeah. A public golf course. Well, if you've ever been, you'll know there's a difference. I have been to both. They're all good. Just because there's no clubhouse. I've only been to public. I've been private too just wait bro mine's gonna be blown

but sorry chris uh keep going what was the golf date like so i got there and i started walking and i realized i couldn't find my glasses so basically i was like whatever i guess i just don't have them so i went out in the parking lot and I saw her and I started waving at her. And like both hands and everything just to make sure she saw me because we've never met and everything. It sounds like you're signaling a plane, not actually

waving at anyone. Yeah, I want to make sure she saw me because my vision's a little off. So I kept waving at her and then I got a little closer and this girl was like, can I help you? And I was like, are you Jill? She was like, no.

I was like, it was just some random lady. So it was embarrassing, super embarrassing because I'm like, okay, great. What if Jill's in the parking lot? I've probably seen this, like, look like an idiot. Went back to my car to see if I had an extra pair of glasses. And sure enough, my glasses had fallen in that little crack between the seat and the console.

Golf would have not gone well for you. No, no, no, no, no. So got my glasses. And now I'm, like, 10 minutes late and ended up meeting Jill. And sure enough, she's really hot in person. Oh, my God. Wait, she actually was that hot? She's real. Yeah enough she's really hot in person so i was like wait she she actually was that hot she's real yeah she's real what were you feeling when you saw her to be honest i was i was pretty excited all over oh oh that's an interesting way to phrase it

my five iron went to a six iron. Oh, okay. We're batting three wood now, baby. We got it. I know. I'm surprised you went with iron on that one. Yeah. Yeah, she decided to play with me despite my handicap. Uh-huh. There's too many euphemisms happening.

Did she notice? Well, she knew I wanted to get a home run. Yeah, I mean, I think she could tell I was a little nervous and everything. Yeah. And excited. But anyway, we went out and we played golf. And just kind of talked about our hobbies. And she asked me if I had any hobbies.

And I told her I carved soap sculptures. This is where the soap comes in. Now it makes sense. Yeah. I thought she'd be a little bit weirded out. I'm already late. And I'm a little nervous. And I carved soap sculptures.

So I'm like, yeah, this is probably a little different date for her. We're on a golf course. But she thought that was pretty cool. And so I really enjoyed the date, got to know her. And when we got to the parking lot at the end, she kissed me. It was a little surprise there. Really? Yeah, it wasn't like a passionate kiss or a makeout, but she did kiss me.

Dude, that's awesome awesome this all sounds so good yeah and so basically i've been texting her and haven't heard back from her since then she hasn't responded in any way no i've sent a couple texts out it was just like you know that hey i had a lot of fun you know let's hang out again and then nothing and then another text it was just like oh hey hope you're having a good week. Anyway, I'd like to start trying to hang out again and didn't get anything back from that. Do you know if she's still up on the dating website? Yeah, I got back on there and noticed that she was on there.

So maybe she's playing the field. I don't know. Well, that would be weird after one date to take your entire dating profile down. Yeah. Like that's like maybe a third or fourth date type of situation i would have done that for her she's that hot all right well here's what we're gonna do chris we're gonna play a song come back i'm gonna go to the bathroom and carve some soap but then when we come back please don't be a six i don't okay guys again get out let's stop we'll come back and then we'll call jill and get you your second date update, okay?

Okay, perfect. All right, hold on. If you're just tuning in for the second date update, we've been talking to Chris. Yep. And Chris is just your stereotypical golf-playing, soap-carving type of guy. Yeah. Typical. Basically, he puts the men in dove men's care.

I love that soap. I use that. Or maybe the lay in oil of Olay. Oh, now we're getting a little. Anyway, Chris met a woman named Jill online who he described as being out of his league. Those are his words. So he's definitely nervous going into the date. Are you saying he'd have to dial it up?

Oh, dial soap. That's a good one. Okay. Chris, I hope you signed up for lots of soap puns. Don't worry. They'll all be clean. Oh, dial soap. That's a good one. Okay. Chris, I hope you signed up for lots of soap puns. Don't worry. They'll all be clean. Oh, sneak attack. Broke back to back.

Maybe we shouldn't even call Jill. Let's just do soap puns all day for the next 15 minutes. I'd really like to watch this phone call way up. There we go. Anyway, Chris took Jill out for a round of golf. Things went well. He even got a kiss at the end of the day. But ever since, he's not been able to get a hold of her.

Yeah, and that's pretty accurate. You know, Chris, you sound so chill, almost to where you're, like, not even that invested in this. I can't get a read on how you're feeling about it. Yeah, I don't think I did anything wrong, per se. I think maybe she's a little weirded out by the fact that i do soap sculpture so i don't i mean maybe she thought i was really nerdy or something i don't know yeah but women actually like guys to nerd out on something it doesn't matter what it is like

have an interest have a hobby it's really attractive okay brooke i'm just saying it's true yeah but then you see a hot guy with muscles he doesn't have to talk and you're like, oh my god! Yeah, but you don't want to date him, you just want to have a night with him. You know what I'm saying? We'll send you to the mathlete convention and we'll see how that goes. But Chris, let's call Jill

right now and find out how she really feels, okay? Yeah, definitely call her. And just so you know, she even sounds hot, so just so you know she even sounds hot so just so you know that oh wow gosh so we don't get too like what worked up well i appreciate the heads up there yeah seriously yeah like you can tell she's hot just by listening to her okay let's get a moist towelette ready and let's dial the numbers right now here we go hello oh yeah yeah yeah hey is jill there yeah hi this is jill uh who's this my name is jeffrey from the radio show brooke and jeffrey Morning. You have a moment to talk to us?

I'm sorry, who are you again? I'm Jeffrey. Okay. Brooke is over here. Hi, Jill. Oh, hi. Jose is also here. I'm shy. She's hot.

We have a radio show called Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning, and we're doing something with you called a second date update. Okay. It's where if you go out with someone and afterwards, if you're not calling them back, they can reach out to us and we'll call them and try and figure out the

reason why. Okay. Wow. That's interesting. Yeah. So someone wrote us about you. Really? Yeah.

Okay. Do you know who it is? I literally have no idea. Well, he's going to feel really happy when he hears that. But his name is Chris. Oh, I think I know who that is. You think you do? You went golfing with him?

Right. The soap guy. Yeah. Did you forget your date? Sorry. I go on a lot of dates. It's kind of hard sometimes. Well, maybe to help refresh your memory, he told us a little bit about what happened. He said he took you golfing and he was running a little bit late because he lost his glasses. But you guys

played around together and he told you about his soap carving And it even ended with you giving him a kiss. A little kiss. It was on the cheek. Okay. So he wants to know why aren't you answering him now? Because he's trying to get a hold of you. Okay. All right. I'm just going to be honest with you.

I just don't want you to judge me. So please don't judge me. It's always bad when people start a sentence like that, but we will try. We will try, Jill. Okay, I mean, I don't want to come across as someone who sort of, like, thinks a lot of themselves. I don't want to seem sort of conceited or anything, but I like to date down.

Do you know what I'm talking about? What do you mean you like to date down? Okay, I don't know if that's exactly the way to say it, but I know I'm good-looking. I know I'm attractive. That's okay to know. I mean, know if that's exactly the way to say it, but I know I'm good looking. I know I'm attractive. That's okay to know. I mean, I think that's fine. It's something I've known my whole life.

So I like to date guys that are less attractive than I am. What? Why? I mean, you purposely go out and look for unattractive men. Okay, there are two reasons. One, they treat me better. They're more appreciative. And the second thing is,

a lot of these guys have low self-esteem. They've never really dated an attractive girl. And I just, I feel like, in a way, it's sort of like I'm helping them because I'm going on a date. I'm making them feel good about themselves. Wait, no. That's not nice.

You're pity dating dudes. And you think that it's the only thing that's lifting their self-confidence because you find them not very attractive. I think that's a really nice thing of you to do. What? Thank you. Both of you? Yeah. I want to kind of help build them up.

So, you know, going forward, I feel like they should be going into new relationships, just feeling good about themselves. I see. So basically you're the Mother Teresa of uggos. You're there for them. I mean, I'm not saying they're ugly. It's just like another sort of level

of attractiveness. I mean, you know, they're level. And because they don't have the looks, if they can build up their confidence,

they can become more attractive. You're coming from a good place. I don't agree with any of this. Well, I appreciate that breakdown, Mother Teresa.

You just call her M.T. from now on? No, it's Jill. M.T. Call her Jill. Okay, Jill. Does that kind of answer your question? I mean, it does answer my question, but I'm just wondering how Chris feels about that. Well, hopefully he won't know.

And, you know, you can tell him something else. But I'm just being honest with you. You know, maybe you can tell him I got back together with my ex-boyfriend. Well, I'm going to be honest with you now and let you know that Chris has actually been on the other line listening this entire time. That is so uncool, you guys. Hey, Jill. Hey, sweetie. how are you? Sweetie, that is so condescending, Jill.

I mean, what happened to all you in the room being like, no, it's for a great cause. Any guy would love this. Brooke, you promised not to judge. Come on. I never promised that. I mean, I see what you're saying, and I get the logic and everything,

but, you know, I don't think that you're helping anybody out by doing that. I just think you have so much potential. Like you definitely are actually cuter than you give yourself credit for. You're not like really, you know, in my league, but you're definitely in your own league. And I think a lot of women would be attracted to you. Oh God. Um, thank you. You're welcome.

I mean, seriously, I think you have something. And it's so cute. Like, you make, like, soap, you know, like, molds or whatever. It's actually called soap carving. I'm a soap carver. Okay. All right. Well, you know, whatever.

I think it's really fun. And I think there's someone you could meet that would be into something sort of creative. And you could, like, do artsy things together. Oh, my God. Jill, Jill, if you want to be, like, a dating expert, just go get a job, and, like, people can hire you for help. Nobody wants your help. Chris doesn't want your help. Rick, why are you mad?

She's being nice. No, she's not. She's, like, disregarding his, like, art as, like, some, like, cutesy little thing he does on the side. She's building him up. It's sweet. It's like what man makes soap carvings? Oh, my God. I mean, I appreciate what you're saying there and everything,

but what you're saying is you don't want to date me because of how I really look. I just don't think your outside is particularly beautiful, but your inside is seriously beautiful, and that's okay. Jill, I don't think your outside is particularly beautiful but your inside is seriously beautiful and that's okay i don't know joe i don't understand i thought that you said that you like guys that are less attractive i'm not necessarily someone i've been a long-term relationship with but i enjoy spending time with yeah and then send them out oh my god this is so ridiculous you're the kickstarter for ugly guys thank you okay i think the only one with an insecurity problem is you, Jill. Like, you're obviously not looking for a real relationship,

and you're using this as an excuse because you're too scared yourself to, like, date people who you find attractive for some reason. Wow, a lot of judgment coming from Brooke today. I'm serious. On the beautiful woman. We made a pact, Brooke. I swear, another beautiful girl comes on the phone and the claws come out from Brooke. You're not doing it right, man.

Brooke's like, you only date hot people like you. No, that's not what I'm saying either. Just don't waste anybody's time. You're wasting people's time. I've heard otherwise. I've seen guys that I've gone on dates with go on to find great relationships and. Chris, did she waste your time? It is what it is.

Wait, what? that's an interesting attitude maybe you don't deserve a date oh last thing I just thought I'd let you know before we go I am actually really good in bed oh you're missing wait you're halfway there this is great that was like a little pat on the head, wasn't it? We don't have to move on to the next chapter. That's cute, honey. Chris, I wish you all the best. I think you're fantastic. Chris doesn't need your good wishes, Jill. He's going to be fine carving soap all on his own. I can carve a girlfriend prettier than you anyway.

Oh, look. I don't care what these guys say. Jill, if you're still single, I am totally willing to go out with you. Just use me me build me up great send me your number yes brooke and jeffrey in the morning john stewart is back at the daily show and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with the daily show ears edition podcast dive into john's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more.

Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.