Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Speakeasy Poker Room

Episode Date: November 5, 2021

The couple in today’s Second Date are both absolute hotties, but the reason they aren’t going out again sounds like something out of a James Bond movie rather than a bad date that we’re used to!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

John Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Second Date Update I think a great first date should be a little romantic. Okay. A little adventurous. Oh, that's fun. A little damp. Oh, God.

That's a no. By damp, I mean drinks. Oh. Nobody says that. Wouldn't that be a good name for a bar, though? Damp? Damp. I don't know.

It actually, I would go. Yeah, it's a trendy bar, and it's like a hundred bucks a drink. I'll tell you now, it's not trendy. It's super trendy. It's 18 and under. Yeah. Oh, my, wait, no. One of our listeners hung out at a bar like that for her first encounter with a mysterious gentleman,

so let's talk to her. Welcome to the show, Lisa. Hey, guys. Lisa, on a scale of one to damp, how good was your first date? A lady doesn't kiss in town. I don't think that's what he meant. Maybe. I don't know, Lisa.

I apologize. I'm just going to say that. Okay, new question. What was the name of the guy that you were with? Let's start there. If his name is Damp, I'm leaving. I swear I'm leaving. Alex, I was going to say, grab me a napkin, will you?

Oh, no. Lisa, I like you. Why, Mary? That was good. Oh, you're funny to say, grab me a napkin, will you? Oh, no. Lisa, I like you. Oh, you're funny, Lisa. You cheered me up, Lisa. Lisa and Alex. Alex. Okay, how'd you meet Alex? So we met on a dating app.

Okay. I'm kind of new on that, but I seem to really have hit it off. Like you get a lot of matches? Is that what you mean, Lisa? I do. Oh, you're beautiful. Oh, you're a woman. Yeah. It that what you mean, Lisa? I do. Oh, you're beautiful. Oh, you're a woman. Yeah.

It's wonderful. Not even a real woman. You can be a bot and still get tons of matches. Can I just say, even Ashton, our technical director who's running the board, just did duh with his hand. I'm just going to let you know. The whole room is with you, Lisa. So why did you choose him?

Why did you choose Alex to go out with? Well, yeah. So I know a lot of people don't like shirtless pics, but honestly, I was so hot for it. I was like, that is exactly what I'm looking for. I mean, he just. Okay. So just to update, recap, hot girl likes hot guys. Yes. That's what he wanted. And then you're shocked when he's hosting you, I'm guessing. What do you end up doing for your date with Alex?

Well, yeah, so he ended up asking me. He doesn't do this a lot, but he wanted to surprise me on a date, like kind of put it together. And I was a little nervous just because I watch a lot of ID, you know. Wait, why were you nervous? Because you watch what? Well, I watch a lot of ID discovery, like, you know. All the, like, crime shows, basically.

Oh, yeah. And a guy planning a date is usually how people get killed? Is that what you're watching? It's the surprise. Well, not knowing what to do. Oh, yeah. When a guy's like,

hey, I got a surprise for you. Okay. Especially a guy you don't know. Yeah. But I took the necessary precautions, you know, let my roommate have my the necessary precautions you know let my roommate have my location on you know i felt confident i felt good okay so wait what was it like when you guys met there what was the surprise okay so we went to this bar and we're there for a good

hour and a half just chatting it up and i kind of was like what's the surprise you know because i just it seemed like a typical kind of date yeah what's the surprise you know because I just it seemed like a typical kind of date yeah and he looked at his watch and he's like 10 more minutes 10 more minutes the pill says it's supposed to kick in within 20 minutes so what happened in 10 minutes what was going through your head I'm like kind of looking for the exit no I'm kidding I'm felt like a good hour but it really was only probably like seven. And he's like, okay, we're ready. Follow me.

And he grabs my hand and I get off the stool and we go towards the bathroom. And I'm like, uh. So wait, was Jeff right about the pill? Keep going. and he knocks keep going he knocks on the back room door and then all of a sudden the whole wall seems to kind of push in and it's this like elegant elaborate poker game oh like a speakeasy it's like a backroom fancy poker yeah i've always wanted to go to one of these. That's so cool. That's pretty fun. That is awesome. I felt so important at that time.

I was just like, whoa. That's cool. Secret doors are awesome on dates. So did you guys sit down and like play poker? Well, he did. I don't really know how to play poker. Okay. You had to just stand there?

Well, there was, okay. So there was so many people there. And I mean, like I said,, so there was so many people there. And, I mean, like I said, I kind of was swept off my feet. I was super impressed. So I was just, like, kind of just in awe of everything. So it didn't feel like I was just standing there. Okay. Until it got, like, two hours in.

And then they're like, okay, we're going to take a five-minute break. Oh, wow. Yeah, but he was still playing. And I'm like, I don't want to ruin whatever but it was this part of like what's gonna happen next you know and he was just like well i'm kind of doing great so oh i even called this guy back total 180 it's one thing to play for like 20 30 minutes and then go but two hours hours at the same time. If you're not playing, if you're in the game. Yeah. But he's rich now because he's making so much money.

You're kind of just his arm candy, but is that a bad thing? Yeah. For two hours it is. But the fact that he was like, I'm going to go back. I just was like, how about we meet up after then? You know? Cause I kind of. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, everyone was focused on the game. Yeah. And I just kind of was like okay so i ended up getting an uber and i was like call me you know when you're you're done and he never called me really yeah so then well i called him the next day to just check in with him nothing that's all what happened this is like a started at the beginning with the shirtless pics yeah thank you it's like a foreshadow so what do you think went wrong okay i again i don't want to like

sound like i'm bragging or anything but i always get a call back yeah and like i'm very confused i mean was i not interesting enough for him i think you weren't boring enough for him he just wanted someone to stand behind him the entire time and not talk. Well, this is where you guys come in because I'm honestly thrown. I don't know what to do because, guys, I'm really digging him. You're only digging him because he's

ignoring you. Let's play a song. While we do that, you can text us a picture of his shirtless profile pic so that we know what we're working with. It'll help us. It'll help us for the second part. I think I need to see it.

I think we do. Guys, this is not important. We need to review it. And then when we come back, we'll be fully armed and well prepared to do your second date update. Okay? Okay. All right. Hold on.

It doesn't get much hotter than this for a first date. A guy with a six pack., a secret backroom poker game, and two straight hours of standing around. That's what Lisa did on her surprise date. That's what the surprise was. Watch me play cards. Surprise! There's so much standing around, I almost had to sit down.

They had to take a break halfway through the game because they weren't finished, and that's when Lisa decided she didn't want to hang around any longer to see the end of it. So she just took an Uber home and was hoping that she would get a call back from Alex afterwards. But so far, nothing. So we're going to go ahead and call

for her. And Lisa, would you mind just waiting on hold for two hours while we try to get him on the line? You can stand if you want. Guys, honestly, this entire time, my hands have been clammy. Like, I really want to know what's up. You know, this guy may just have a really fragile ego, right? Like, he's obviously bringing you to a poker game to show off that he has enough money to, you know, lay down at a poker table and it's all fancy with fancy people. And then you don't stick around. Yeah. You're saying that it's her fault, right?

No, it's his own ego. Yeah. If I would have known that, I would have stayed. Really? Yes. I really like him. As long as you know that's what you're getting into. All right. It'll be healthy. Okay, Ms. Clam Hands, you hold on.

I'm going to dial his phone number right now. You ready? Okay, I'm ready. Okay, here we go. I think our hands are damp. Oh, that's right. Ew. Hello?

Hey, I'm looking for Alex. This is Alex. Hey, Alex, my name's Jeff from the morning radio show Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning. From what? A radio show. It's called Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning. All right.

Why are you calling me? Nice to meet you, too. Sorry, nice to meet you. Yeah, so we're calling you because we do a segment on our show called The Second Date Update. It's where we help our listeners get in touch with people that they went out with after they're not getting a call back. Oh, okay. That's okay.

I'm not interested. Well, that's the point. That's a good point, Jose. That is totally a good point. We want you to be interested. We're getting the vibe that you might not be interested, but the girl that you went out with doesn't understand why. Her name's Lisa. Oh. Do you remember lisa super hot lisa wait so lisa called you and told you about our date

yeah she emailed us because she's really confused after spending a whole night with you having a great time you've completely ghosted her after the poker night okay so laughing about that what do you want from me then she just wants to know why like what her after the poker night. Okay. You're laughing about that? What do you want from me then? She just wants to know why. Like what? Because she said she called you the next day and you haven't gotten in touch with her at

all. I mean, I suppose I'd call her if I wanted to call her, right? Yeah. She's figured it out that you're probably not interested, but she wants to know why. I mean, if you don't want to date her again, that's totally fine. That's your decision, but she could use a little bit of closure. The short answer is that I don't really have time to be dating.

I've got a lot going on in my life and I don't really have time for that. So then why are you on a dating app? Yeah. You took her on a date. Alright, I'm going to be a 100 right now. So, I'm really good at poker. I spend about 10 12 hours a day playing poker it's pretty much my life okay so what does that have to do with lisa

all right if you really want to okay so this is like an experiment for me an experiment yeah uh An experiment? Yeah. Okay, so Lisa, you should know, Lisa's really hot. Yeah. Lisa is a very, very, very beautiful, charming, charismatic woman. And apparently you're a very, very beautiful man. Yeah. In fact, Lisa sent us a picture from your dating profile, and I would have to agree. Well, thank you. I'd take care of myself.

Yeah, thank you, sir. Mike, seriously, you're taking care of a lot of other people. Okay, so she's pretty. She's nice. What's the problem? There is no problem. Everything went perfectly. Look, she is so beautiful that she's a bit of a distraction to the other players.

Oh, my God. Okay. Are you saying that you, like, wait, what are you saying? Yeah, what is going on? I think I know, but I want you to say it. Me too, me too. Y'all, I saw this in the James Bond movie one time. What?

And it worked. That's true. This beautiful woman that is a distraction to the other players, and I'm telling you, it worked like a charm. And I cleaned up that night. So you only brought Lisa. You strung her along just so that you could win more money. Yeah, I mean, that's a pretty big deal.

I want a lot of money. I don't understand, though. If she was this successful for you, if she distracted the other players that much, wouldn't you want to have her back for your next poker night? Wouldn't you want to use her again? Yeah, I mean, yeah, but she left, so I figured that was the end of it. Well, it's not like you let her leave in any defense if there is any here. I feel like that is just really going to hurt her.

Well, I mean, she may have left that night, but she's come back now. Yeah. What I mean by that is she's on the phone right now and wants to talk to you. It wasn't some weird analogy. No. She's actually here. She's physically on the talk to you. It wasn't some weird analogy. No. She's actually here. She's physically on the line. It's been distracting me the whole time.

Yeah. And she wants to talk to you right now. Sorry. So what exactly is happening here? This is our surprise for you. Lisa? Oh. Hi, Lisa.

I thought you liked me. I thought that we'd... Oh, no. Oh. Are you crying happy tears right now because he called you hot? Is that what's going on? Man, you're not in tune, Jeffrey. Oh, it was something else.

Yeah. Hey, Lisa, I do like you. Oh, don't do that. But how could you use someone's... Like, I mean, I'm not saying that... I had a blast. Like, I mean, we were talking the entire two weeks leading up to this date. You seem so genuine and you seem so different than everybody else.

Okay. Look, I mean, I am genuine. I didn't lie about anything we talked about. What? I just don't. I'm just not interested in that kind of relationship. You just said that to them that you that you just this was an experiment like how could you stay in a prison you used as an experiment i don't like when people

cry because it makes me want to start crying i mean it sucks it really like you gotta understand where she's coming from yeah i mean i don't look i never i don't want to hurt your feelings and i'm sorry i didn't think that you would take it this bad. Was everything fake, Alex? Was everything fake? Like we didn't have a connection at all. Are you, are you, is that what you're telling me? No, we had a connection. I mean, I didn't, I wasn't going to bring somebody along that annoys the out of me.

Wow. What a compliment. This guy. This guy. Yeah. I think that has a bright side to it. I don't know, man. She may have actually been more into it. If you were just up front, we're like, Hey, I think that has a bright side to it. I don't know, man. She may have actually been more into it if you were just up front and were like,

hey, I want to try this. Why don't you go around and try and distract some of the other guys? She may have actually wanted to help you. Totally. That's a good point, Jeff. What do you think? Lisa? If you would have told me that way earlier, it would have been a hot game.

I think I would have been down for it. Yeah, that's true. But no wonder why you're still single and nothing has worked out for you. Okay. I mean, I'm still single because I choose to be, so you can formulate whatever story you want. I think if you saw the kind of money that was involved, you might reconsider. But that's all right.

There are other hot girls around. Yeah, well, good thing I got other phone numbers from that game, so. Hey, see, you're both doing great. I love when hot people fight, you know? Lisa, you got other guys' numbers? Of course. I wasn't going to say that in the beginning. Yeah.

Oh, Patty. Good on you, I guess. Yeah. I mean, she was being ignored for two hours on her date. Thank you. Yeah, just have a different poker guy. Ignore her for two hours now, I guess. All right.

Well, have fun with those losers. Cause I took all their money. Okay. Uh, well, well, clearly you're the only loser here.

Missing out on a real connection and using somebody. Karma comes back around. Just so you know. All right. All right. Well, I'll cry at the bank, not on the radio.

Oh, that was mean. You know what? Hot girls don't always deserve it. All right, well, I'll cry at the bank, not on the radio. Oh, man. God, that was mean. You know what? Hot girls don't always deserve it, okay? So I got you, buddy. You and him? Be honest with people next time.

I'm supposed to offer to send you guys out on another date at the end of these. I don't see many red flags. I think Lisa should go for it. I don't know. Right now, I'm just shocked. I'm just so shocked. I'm a little worried that you said, I don't know. Right now, I'm just shocked. I'm just so shocked. I'm a little worried that you said, I don't know and not just know.

Money. Is now a good time to say I'm okay being used? Yeah. I'm good. Alex, there's a bunch of people in this room that don't mind being lied to and being objectified. I love poker, too. I don't have money for you to take.

I have nothing to do this weekend. If you need another piece of eye candy. Hey, group poker game, guys. Text me some pics and I'll review them. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Okay, well, apparently, according to the text board, I shouldn't tell women not to cry so much. Yeah, bro. I'm going to go with according to 50% of the population.

That or women. Okay, look, I didn't mean it like that. Did you? She seemed so devastated after the fact that she kept saying that he used her. He did. But not in like a bring you to tears, like I'm a broken person type of way.

They never hooked up. Just sit there and look hot. She got free drinks and got to watch like a backroom poker game for two hours. It doesn't feel like something you should cry that much about. This is a woman who has never been ghosted in her life. She had never even not had someone call her back ever. Right?

So she's coming from a very raw place. Okay, this is her first experience with rejection. You're right. Don't judge her. Okay, you're right. The hot women do have it very hard out there. That's better, Jeff. I'm sorry. That's a better tone. Okay, you're right. The hot women do have it very hard out there. That's better, Jeff. I'm sorry.

That's a better tone. You need some empathy there. Okay, well, now I feel bad for all the hot ladies. Yes. If you're hot, ladies, if you are hot, I am so, so sorry that you have to be so hot all the time. They have feelings too, Jeff. Do they? I mean, I don't know from personal experience, but I have heard that.

Well, because of what transpired, I'll take the blame, I guess. I thought you guys would come to my defense. I thought Jose would at least get the second date. Maybe, but I guess it's my fault that we couldn't get them a second date. We've got to sacrifice somebody else. We do. But email the show if you ever want to get a second date update, unless you're too hot. Because then I'll probably just ruin it for you.

But we'll try and call the person who isn't calling you back brooke and jeffrey in the morning john stewart is back at the daily show and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with the daily show ears edition podcast dive into john's unique take on the biggest topics in politics entertainment sports and more joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.