Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Spicy
Episode Date: January 20, 2022The guy on the phone today admits that his date got “way too hot to handle” causing him to leave his date early. He's ready to tell us what made him bail and see if we can hep him recover from it....See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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He's male.
That's the same thing.
He has a Y chromosome somewhere in his DNA.
Again.
Not sure where.
You lost me there.
You've learned one thing.
In short, he's a dude.
Okay.
Michael, would you say my breakdown of you is accurate?
That's a pretty accurate assessment, sure.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I heard his voice.
I think it's questionable.
I mean, I'm pretty good at reading people, got to say.
There might be an extra chromosome in there somewhere, but I don't know.
Oh, man.
Can we get one more fun fact other than you're a dude, Michael?
My favorite color is red.
Oh, wow.
We're really building back the curtain on this one. What more do we need to know about him?
I already knew that.
I could tell.
So, my masculine friend, tell me about the lady that you want us to call today.
What's her name?
So, her name is Rebecca.
I'm guessing.
Hold on.
I'm just going to guess that she's a girl.
You already said that.
Am I right?
You have a gift, my man.
Where did you meet Rebecca?
So, I met Rebecca in the elevator in my office building.
Ooh.
That's a bold move.
Do you work there?
Is that where you work?
Okay, stop it, Jeffrey.
I'm sorry.
I'm just, I can't stop it from coming in.
Do you, I mean, that's a short elevator ride
to meet somebody and really connect with someone.
How did that happen?
Well, it was a strange situation.
She walked into the elevator I was in,
talking on her phone,
and she was telling her friends,
she's like, I have to go.
There's a cute guy in the elevator.
Do a good move, Rebecca.
So cool.
Yeah, she was probably even faking that phone call like that.
That's a baller status move.
Well, there's more because before I could say anything to her, she turned to me and
she was like, sorry for lying.
You know, I just wanted to get off the phone with her.
What? Oh, no. That hurts. She lied? Yeah. to me and she was like sorry for lying you know i just wanted to get off the phone with her what oh no that hurt yeah oh my god in one second this woman built you up and then broke you down yeah just kidding yeah what'd you say telling a little bit i was like ouch you know and she
apologized she smiled and just kind of like got off on the next floor. Wow. Okay. So that's quite a romantic encounter.
Well, there's more.
Okay.
So the next morning, you know, I waited in the parking garage until I saw her park her car.
Okay.
Creepy.
I creeped a little bit.
I mean, what am I going to say?
I pretend to be on the phone, you know, and I got in the elevator right after her.
Then once I got on, I said out loud, so I can't talk.
There's a girl in the elevator that has the hots for me, but she's too embarrassed to ask me out.
Oh, snap.
That was amazing.
Bro, I would have kissed you right now.
Oh, my God.
I'm actually bowing down.
Mad props on that one.
That's smooth.
That is a smooth move.
I thought it was creepy. You were waiting for her. Now I get it, though.. Mad props on that one. That's smooth. That is a smooth move. I thought it was creepy you were waiting for her.
Now I get it, though.
Redeemed yourself with that.
And I assume she loved it as much as we did.
Yes, she laughed.
And she gave me her number right after.
She told me to call her.
Perfect.
Dang.
Dude, I'm high-fiving you through the microphone right now.
I gotta take notes on this.
Good job.
Yeah.
So how was the date?
Where'd you guys go so yeah we went
to a mexican restaurant for dinner and we agreed to uh check out some of their salsas so she tasted
a little bit and said it was kind of hot you know thinking i was being macho i like put a ton on my
food and it was a lot worse than I thought it would be.
Couldn't handle the spice.
Yeah, I could not handle the spice.
I started sweating through my clothes.
My eyes were tearing up.
Oh, my God. You just powered through your meal even though you couldn't eat it?
I was trying, but I was also crying at the same time.
She even asked me, like, are you crying?
And I said, no, it's just the salsa making tears come out of my eyes.
Oh, God.
So you're bawling in the middle of a Mexican restaurant while on a date.
It was not a good look.
And when your mouth is on fire like that and your innards are burning, it's really hard to concentrate on anything else.
And probably really embarrassing for her to have to sit across from that.
I mean, were you able to have a conversation?
Not really. I mean, it was able to have a conversation? Not really.
I mean, it was bad.
People were looking at us.
Oh, that bad.
And, I mean, they thought I was a crazy person.
I think people thought that we were breaking up or something.
Like I was being broken up with and I was crying.
I don't know what they thought.
He's sweating just as much as he's crying, though.
Oh, my God.
It's sad.
It's a great image, Oh my god, but I love
to sit next to couples like that because it makes
your dinner so much more fun to like eavesdrop
and try to figure out what's really going on.
Were you able to save this? Oh, I
wouldn't say that, no.
That's probably why you're calling us.
What happened? She eventually
just said, you know, I'm sorry, but I'm running
late. I have to get home.
She helped me order an Uber. I have to get home. And she helped me order
an Uber and, you know, because I couldn't see straight. And she said, I hope you feel better.
And I almost crapped my pants in the Uber. Oh, dude. Almost is a key word there, though. Good
on you, man. Good on you. Yeah. Funny side to everything, I guess. Yeah. so have you tried to call and apologize and explain it all yeah i mean i
i've reached out and haven't heard anything yeah and i think you know i don't want to wait for in
the parking garage again i that'd be probably creepy you know what i appreciate that you
realize that and you'd be surprised to know how many people don't yeah just every day now just
waiting i think that's a quitter's attitude
and you should try it.
Okay, Jeffrey.
I'm at a loss here.
I really screwed up
and yeah,
I'm hoping you can dig me
out of this hole.
I think we can.
I think that you can
recover from this.
We can come back
from bad salsa.
We can do this.
All we have to do
is play a song,
we'll come back
and then we'll call her for you
and try and get
in the second date,
all right?
All right, I'm psyched.
Alright, hold on.
Second date update. We're in the middle of
a second date update with our suave
new friend, Michael.
Oh yeah, Michael.
He may have delivered the smoothest line we've
ever heard on our show.
I agree with that.
I mean, smoother than a gallon
of buttermilk going through a hound dog.
Just silky smooth.
What is that analogy?
Has that ever been said before?
I just.
Now it has.
Now it has.
That is very chunky.
Basically, a girl dissed him on the elevator, so he waited until the next day, pretended to be on the phone, and said,
Hey, I need to hang up.
There's a girl here who has the hots for me, but she's too afraid to ask me out.
Yes!
Still gets me!
And it worked.
Damn, it's good.
Dude, so many people are copying that move.
Oh, man, I can't wait to see someone in the elevator today.
I have a husband, and I'm going to do it.
It was so amazing.
It got him a date with a girl named Rebecca.
But everything went downhill when they went to a Mexican restaurant, and Michael put too much spicy salsa on his food.
He said he grabbed the hottest one, like a challenge.
Yeah, did a little macho move and it didn't go well.
So she ended up putting him in an Uber and sending him home.
Now to add insult to injury, Rebecca's not calling him back either.
So Michael, you ready to do this?
I'm ready.
Good.
Michael, what were you thinking?
No woman on the planet has ever said
now I like him because he likes
hot salsa. Like, it's not a thing
for us. You know, the man brain
does what the man brain does.
I agree, dude. You're trying to show off.
You are good with the one lines, you know?
So how are you feeling? Are you
excited? I'm nervous, excited,
yeah. Hoping it'll go well.
I'm very hopeful on this one. That makes
one of us at least. I'm just kidding, Michael. I think we do have a shot at getting another date
with this one. Yes. All right. Just don't eat any salsa before we call her. Okay. I'm swearing off
salsa for the rest of my life. All right. Good man. So I'm going to dial the phone number right
now and we're going to try and get your second date update. All right. All right. Let's do it. Okay. Here we go. Hello. Hi. Can I speak to
Rebecca, please? This is Rebecca. Who's calling? Hey, how are you? This is young Jeffrey from the
radio show, Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning. Okay.
Are you sure you have the right Rebecca?
I'm pretty sure.
Hi, Rebecca.
Oh, it's Minnie.
Okay.
It's a whole radio show calling you.
Okay.
Can I ask how you got my number?
No, you may not.
Yes, that is a great question, Rebecca. That's very rude, and I don't appreciate that.
We will answer. If you must know, we I don't appreciate that. We will answer.
If you must know, we're calling on behalf of our friend named Michael.
Okay, this is really weird.
Yeah, we know.
Do you know a Michael?
Could you think of a Michael that we're talking about?
Yeah, I mean, I know a couple Michaels.
I have a coworker named Michael.
Okay, well, I don't know which Michael this is,
but you went on a date with this Michael
recently to a Mexican restaurant. Is that narrow it down? Yeah. Okay. She's like, no, actually,
I went out with all the last Michaels, all of them one week. So Michael wants to know why you're not
calling him back after your date, because he says he had a good time, even though he knows he may
have messed things up literally literally, a little bit.
Oh, man.
I'm sure he's embarrassed about that.
It was a funny date.
I've never had that situation on a date.
And you're talking about the situation as in the hot salsa that he ate when he was sweating profusely and everyone was staring at you guys.
And crying.
Oh, yeah, the crying.
Don't forget the tears the tears are
crucial poor man what were you thinking did you feel so bad for him yeah i mean it was pretty
funny actually but but also kind of a turnoff it sounds like yeah oh i mean the only turnoff
really was i had just as much of the same sauce on my food and i it didn't affect me at all
you know those michaels they can be sensitive little flowers, can't they?
But that's a reason not to go out with someone, right?
I mean, yeah, you're absolutely right.
I was going to call him again.
That was really my plan.
Then what happened to that plan?
Why aren't you calling him?
This is going to sound weird.
Okay.
Something kind of, I don't want to say traumatic and be
dramatic but something kind of happened that made me i'm just i don't know if i can go out with him
again what that sounds juicy i'm sorry but did we miss something like he told us about the date
so nothing happened on the date this is really just just, uh, I'll just explain. Um, so I
thought he was pretty cute, even though he was crying and I was going to call him the next day
when I woke up, but you know, in the morning you're, you watch the news while you're getting
ready for work and all that. I mean, maybe if you're a senior citizen, you wake up and watch
the news, but most of us don't check social media. Okay. Okay. Well, I still watch the news, but most of us don't. Check social media. Okay. Okay, well, I still watch the news.
Okay, well, sorry.
I didn't mean to offend.
Just kidding.
Yeah, we all watch the news in the morning, okay?
So what happened when you watched the news?
So I saw this segment,
and they had a sketch image of a rapist
that they were looking for
who looks just like Michael.
No!
Oh, my gosh!
You saw a police sketch that you think is Michael?
Yeah, and it rattled me, and I was too afraid to text him back.
Yeah!
Okay, yeah, I can understand that.
Like, what were the features that made you believe it was him?
Oh, I mean, it looked just like him.
Like, the facial hair was cut the same
same like face shape the eyes it just was really uncanny wait do you think you should be calling
the authorities like that uncanny or you just don't want to go out with him again well i did
you called police i called the police tip line and told them about michael
oh my god i don't know that we should be doing this right now what if he's not well they called I called the police tip line and told them about Michael. Oh, my God.
I don't know that we should be doing this right now.
What if he's not?
Well, they called me back and it turns out they caught the actual guy, which is great.
And it wasn't Michael.
See?
But now.
It wasn't him?
No.
That was a big roller coaster you just took us on.
Just imagine how I felt.
I went on a date with this guy who
for several hours I definitely thought was this guy the police were looking for. Oh my god. Yeah
that must have been really weird but it's not it's not him. Yeah no they caught the guy but the thing
is it's like I can't get this image of the sketch out of my head. It's not him but you're not going
out with him just because you thought it was him for a second? Okay, so you know when a song reminds you of your ex and then
you can't listen to the song anymore? You know, like when a police sketch reminds you of a rapist
and then you can't see the- What? No, I don't think that that's fair. I mean, he's not the guy,
but he is on the phone right now and wants to talk to you about it. Uh-oh! What do you mean he's on the phone?
Well, I mean, this probably doesn't help his, like, not being creepy case,
but he's been on the other line listening this whole time and wants to talk to you.
What?
Yeah, Michael, you there?
Oh, my God.
Hi, it's Michael.
No.
Why are you saying it like that?
Oh, my God, Michael.
Come in with a different voice, man.
I'm sorry.
I'm just kind of taking it all in.
Oh my God, that is the worst doppelganger
that anybody could ever have.
You know?
Like, Michael, that sucks.
That's just so strange.
You called the police on me.
I'm not a rapist.
That's a good thing to say.
That's a very good start.
Let's just put that out there. I've
never done rape. None.
At all.
It's not like a drug.
Oh my god. Okay.
It's fine, you guys. Do you hear
him? Yeah, Rebecca, he's not
the person that committed this crime
so you shouldn't be afraid of him.
Did he tell you guys how we met? If I look back it i'm like oh we kind of met in a creepy way he has this creepy
voice on the phone okay but none of that matters because the only thing that matters is that he
is not the person that you saw the police sketch of and how is running into somebody on an elevator
at work creepy yeah it wasn't like an abandoned elevator or something at night.
You guys are giving me a really hard time. And I feel bad. I just was trying to be a good citizen and I was nervous. I think honestly, Rebecca, I think we all support your decision to call the
police. I think that that should always be something that you do good on you for protecting
yourself. But when they tell you that you were wrong and that it wasn't him, then you also have
to kind of laugh at yourself and be like, wow, thank God, you know?
Like, you had a good feeling about this guy
in the beginning, right?
You said yourself that you were going to call him back
that morning.
It's just the sketch looks so much like him.
I'm not sure I can get it out of my head.
What if I send you, like, four new pictures
that look nothing like that guy?
Is that really the best idea you could come up with?
Yeah.
Something.
I mean, other than going out with me again, you know, I mean, that's really what's going
to diffuse this whole, like, rapist persona thing that's been impressed upon me.
No, I have a better idea.
I think you have no other choice but to get some facial reconstructive surgery, dye your hair, maybe wear some colored contacts so you don't look like the sketch anymore.
Maybe shave your face.
You willing to do that?
You know, I could trim my facial hair a little bit until this whole thing blows over, maybe.
See, there we go.
That actually might help.
I mean, okay, Rebecca's coming around on the idea.
Honestly, he sounds genuine. I mean, the man can't even handle hot salsa.
He's just a delicate little man.
I could just bring salsa to protect me.
That's all you need.
Yeah, there you go.
All right, well, good.
So if you're willing to do this, Rebecca, we'll pay for a second date with you and Michael.
Michael, are you sure you're okay with shaving your facial hair and maybe even getting a haircut?
Are you serious?
It's not a problem.
I was thinking about getting a new do anyway.
You know?
There you go.
Look at that.
I mean, yeah.
Who wants to look like a rapist anyway?
Maybe it's time.
No one.
No one.
Wow.
All right.
So successful second date update.
You guys are going out one more time.
Yay, we did it.
All right.
Let's just make sure that wherever we go
there's no TVs in the bar
so nothing pops up on the screen.
How many criminals can look like you,
Michael?
You never know.
You gotta play it safe, Mike.
Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.
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