Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Split Like A Banana

Episode Date: August 23, 2023

Always make sure you clean out your car before a date, or you might end up like the listener in today's Second Date...He forgot about something he had in his car and is worried that's what ruined his night!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Second date update. Hey, what should a sick bird do? What? Get tweetment.

Oh, my God. No. Why? Why are you doing this? I'm sorry. One of our listeners emailed the show saying he's worried he may have made a bad joke or two when he was on his date, and I just wanted to throw one out there. You better worry. He may be coming for your job he's better at it

than you are i just didn't want i didn't want to feel self-conscious about it when he told us his name's kyle kyle welcome to the show hey how you doing oh man you can barely contain your laughter right kyle yeah okay funny kyle what did sushi No, no. Wait, I want to know what. I have no idea. Wasabi. Oh. Like wasabi. Okay, see, there you go, Kyle.

Your jokes couldn't possibly have been much worse than those. And Brooke promises to laugh when she hears you say them. I don't. Okay, well, we'll get to that in a minute. But first, tell us about the lady you went out with. What's her name? Well, her name is Sasha. Okay.

I met her at a friend's party. She was wearing a beautiful red dress, but she looked really, really worn out. Oh, wait. Yikes. That was tough. Yeah, I didn't either. I could see through her, like, the bags underneath her eyes that she was pretty special. Wow.

None of these sounds like compliments, bro. Well, I was, you know, I wanted to know more about her. I didn't know why she was so special. Wow. None of these sounds like compliments, bro. Well, I was, you know, I wanted to know more about her. I didn't know why she was so tired. Interesting. Well, I guess standing out is standing out. Yeah, right? Did you ever find out why she looked so tired? Well, yeah, she's actually a paralegal.

So she was up working on this big case with her boss. Okay. Oh, I got you. I mean, so you actually read it right, guess which is a positive yeah yeah called it okay how did you parlay a conversation about how exhausted she looked into a date so i i asked her you know if she was so tired i could carry her into the the bedroom and lay her down to sleep but he really didn't think that was funny i got it i got it yeah okay i would be appalled yeah i like it now now that i know you're kidding

yeah i mean of course i was kidding you know like okay okay did she laugh yeah did she know not at first but then I said she could carry me. What? Okay. All right. You know what, guys? I can't win him. He's one of those funny guys that you have to be there.

You know? Right. You maybe don't get it in context. She was there and she didn't laugh. Right. And she'd been up all night. She's exhausted. She's at this party.

Well, that's what we call a tough crowd, right? I mean, at the end of the day you ended up getting a date with her right kyle yes well yeah i got her number from a friend and um texted her and eventually we did go out oh you did go out interesting and what was that like i'm just shocked okay just let me calling us right now well sometimes that's all the date is for people just like meeting at a party we've had a lot of those so what did you guys do for your date so i picked her up and uh we went out to dinner but on the way to dinner she noticed that i had a bunch of like kids toys

in my back seat and she asked about them like i think she thought that i had a family any adult should ask and i i explained to her that the toys are for this toy drive at the church i go to but i guess when i explained it i was kind of nervous or something and maybe she thought i was lying she's like why you also have a bunch of ice cream and like children's music playing everywhere you go why does this van have no windows what next yeah where did we go from her thinking that maybe you had a family? Okay, so we had dinner. It went really good.

You know, she's into sports. She likes football, and I like football as well. So that's something that I figured we could bond over. Okay. That's good. Did that carry the conversation for a while? Yeah, well, her favorite team is like a rival of my favorite team. So there was like some banter back and forth.

I always think it's cute when couples have that. You know, they're like going for opposite teams. Yeah. When couples fight with each other. Yeah, yeah. I kind of like it. Well, that's good. At least now you guys are starting to vibe a little bit on the day and the connections

coming through. Yeah, it was good, playful banter between us. Okay. That's good. I will say, Brooke, it is nice when they can make couples bets you know and it shows that like you both truly love the sport that you're rooting for different things you're not just some bandwagoner that's an idea yeah you're not alexis there's nothing worse than that someone just fakes it she just wears a jersey that just says football

how did the night end for you kyle? So after dinner, I drove her home. And again, you know, I thought everything went well. So I leaned in to give her a kiss. And she just kind of turned her head and jumped out of the car and took off. I wasn't moving still. We took running? I was stopped. I mean, you know, but she just kind of said, all right, good night. And then just kind of jumped out of the car.

Still tucked and rolled. Were you like, oh, no, the kiss was a joke. Awesome. Do you get it? Well, all kidding aside, that's kind of rough when you physically move in towards someone and they physically move away from you. But it's a first date. You know, like everybody has different comfort levels on a first date.

Absolutely. So it doesn't necessarily mean she didn't like you. Yeah. It does mean he read it wrong. Okay. So which part of that night are you thinking may have been the dagger for you? Oh, gosh. it doesn't necessarily mean she didn't like you yeah it does mean he read it wrong okay so which part of that night are you thinking may have been the dagger for you oh gosh i mean in hindsight i guess it's probably maybe the kids toys in the car i think she thinks that i have a family or

something i'm cheating on my wife i don't know she's making up an excuse yeah i mean i even had my friend call her and vouch for me let Let her know that I'm not married. I don't have any kids. Okay, well. That's one of those, like, doth protests too much. Well, now we're going to have an entire radio show call her and say the same thing. So hopefully it'll work better when we play a song, we come back. We'll call Sasha for you, and we'll try and get you a second date update, okay?

Thank you. All right, hold on. Second date update. Everybody knows the secret to any good relationship is what brooke don't say waterbed please uh trust communication respect i was looking for one thing i don't know communication yes i was going for good communication eventually you got it but unfortunately for Kyle, communication was a little bit off during his first date with Sasha. Because he made some jokes that she didn't quite get. Honestly, I'm not sure if we really got them either.

But he made them. Also had to explain why there was a bunch of children's toys in the backseat of his car. I often do too. We've all been there. He actually had a legit reason. Donating them to charity. Yeah, charity with a church he works with. And he also missed out on a first kiss.

I guess she didn't read that right. But clearly, communication was off. But Kyle is hoping that we can get things back on track and realign with this second date. Am I right, Kyle? Yeah, I'm really hoping that we can straighten this out and move forward with this beautiful girl. I guess all we need to do is clarify it. That's actually true. And we're not calling her tired girl anymore, which is already We're moving forward. It is a little early. She may be tired, but we don't want to promise anything. Okay. She may answer. We don't ask her that off the get? Yeah, I wouldn't ask that if I were you guys.

Okay, thank you Kyle. Good. I'm glad that we communicated about that before the call. This is gonna make things go so much smoother I'm ready to dial her number right now. Are you ready Kyle? Good. I'm glad that we communicated about that before the call. This is going to make things go so much smoother. I'm ready to dial her number right now. Are you ready, Kyle? Yeah, I'm ready. All right, here we go. Hello? Hey, I'm looking for Sasha.

Hi, this is she. Hey, Sasha, my name's Jeff from the radio show Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning. I'm sorry, who are you? Do I need to speak louder? My name's Jeffrey from Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning. It's a radio show. We're just not that popular.

Okay, what's going on? We're doing something called the Second Date Update, and we're trying to help one of our listeners get in touch with you because you went out with him the other night. His name's Kyle. Why did he contact kyle contacted you yeah he's a listener of ours he's been trying to get in touch with you after your date but he's been having a hard time doing that so he's using us to reach you i see it sounds like

he's had quite a few people call you he also told us that his friend called you as well. Yeah, that happens. Okay. Okay. It's probably a lot. So all that's checking out. We're trying to understand how you feel about Kyle. Like, how did that date go?

I mean, when I first met him, I thought he was kind of quirky, but I actually thought it was kind of cute. Good. You're talking about when you met him at the party? Yeah. Like, when he came on to me, I can see that he's a little nervous a little quirky at the same time like i said i thought it was cute sweet okay but did that same feeling not continue when you went out to dinner with him yeah so when we went out to dinner that's when it kind of all went left okay when we were at dinner he just his body language kind of changed you know he kept adjusting you know down there so during wait hold on yeah during dinner yeah i i know it's embarrassing to say but he looks physically uncomfortable oh what are you sure like

sometimes we just adjust because it's fun like or is it more like an itching thing? Yeah. You know, what I'm saying is like. I don't want to say it, but I mean, it looked like it was frequent and it looked like he was adjusting very often. Oh. Yeah. That would make it really hard to concentrate on like conversation or anything else. Right. You know, I don't think he noticed that I noticed, but it kind of threw me off.

Yeah, that's understandable. I mean, what do you think was going on? I don't know. I didn't know if he just didn't bathe down there. Oh, Jesus. I mean, it could have been a bathroom thing because even on the way home, he just said that he had to make like a pit stop randomly. And then after we made that stop, I was like, okay, he just ran out the car.

Oh. What? Had to go. Okay. Yeah. I mean, aren't you curious a little bit about what was going on? I mean, not really, but. Okay.

I'm the only one that wants to know. That's enough of a yes that I need in order to let you know that Kyle's been on the other line listening this entire time. And he wants to talk to you. Wait, what are you talking about? You're joking. He's been on the other line listening this entire time and he wants to talk to you wait what are you talking about you're joking he's not on the phone no he is at least i think he's still there kyle hands back on the phone we want to talk to you again at least one hand hi sasha how you doing oh wow oh hey guys I'm so sorry. I apologize. I thought we were having a good date. Bro, did you not just hear what she said? Okay, be kind.

She's embarrassed. What was going on there? Do you know that you were doing that? Yeah, I guess I kind of made known that I was a little bit uncomfortable. I was trying to, you know, just ignore it. Why were you, I mean. Why were you doing that, guy? I mean, it's just ignore it why were you i mean why were you doing that car i mean it's just it's really embarrassing you know i didn't really i didn't really want to talk about this

on the radio i mean if it's like a medical thing you can just say that we can move on bro yeah i mean well i mean no it's not not really anything medical i guess did you did you hurt yourself like i'm worried about you now brother I mean I was just god this is so embarrassing so like before the date a friend of mine told me to put a banana down in my pants and said it would give me some confidence

during the date stop no oh seriously wait what? what? yeah so you know I thought like

having that down there would make it seem like a Johnson was, like, you know, bigger. No. So, you actually had a banana in your pants at dinner? Like, well, when I sat down, then it, like, it squeezed out of the banana. Oh, no. Scooby squishy mess. Stop.

No. Got a little fruit salad going on down here now. Sorry. Should not laugh. So you had smashed banana in your pants at that point? What can we say like that? Now it just looks deformed, like, wait, what? Why did you sit at the dinner table the entire time just adjusting the smushed banana?

Why didn't you, like, fix that? So we were vibing off the conversation about football and I didn't want it to stop. Also guys, he stands up and some banana mash comes out of his leg. It's not going to look good either. He had to get up at some point and walk to the car. How'd you keep it in your pants? Are you wearing tighty whities or something? That's the only thing that would like carry it.

Literally through the loom. Right? Absolutely. Don't you think? Yeah, I don't want to get into specifics about it. It's kind of embarrassing. But yeah, that's why I had to eventually stop at the restroom on the way home. Oh, that makes sense.

Okay. That's when he got out and cleaned up. Okay. So, I mean, Sasha, now we're getting the truth of what was really happening. Is that changing your opinion a little bit about Kyle? It is. It is. I wish he would have told me.

I mean, really? I gotta stand up for him on that one. How the hell do you approach that conversation at the dinner table on a first date? I mean, he has a lot of regret and he's learned a lesson I think is where we're at at this point. And he was just trying to impress you.

That's true. Maybe guess he shouldn't have told me because that probably would have been weird, too. Yeah. At least it wasn't like an eggplant. Can you imagine? Hey, Sasha, I got a banana in my pants. Hey, that line's worked for some people before, I promise. Yeah, guys, I'm still here.

I'm still on the phone. Sasha, can we try it again? Go on one more date? Yeah. All right. I mean, Sasha, look at the confidence that it's taken him to stay on the line and put himself out there like this. Yeah. I mean, that says a lot about who he is, and I think maybe you should give him one more shot at another date, and we would pay for it.

And we'll pay for the fruit. No, we're not paying for any fruit, no. Not a basket or anything. No, just the date. Look at you laughing, Sasha. I don't mind going on a second date, just make sure you leave the banana at home. Okay. You were just trying to impress me. You don't mind going on a second date. Just make sure you leave the banana at home. Okay. You were just trying to impress me.

You shouldn't have to tell Ben that. You really shouldn't. Like a literal banana hammock. That's something I can agree to. I'm not bringing a banana this time. But if the date goes well, I might even ask you to bring the banana on a third date. Oh. What?

That one just got weird. take it as a positive it got weird and i like it brooke and jeffrey in the morning remember i talked about this on the show a while ago but i stuffed my pants for one week in middle school with a sock because i was a late bloomer and got kind of self-conscious about it yeah and that eighth grade choice would have been a better decision than what Kyle decided to do on his date, a.k.a. Mr. Banana Pants. Do you think his friend was joking him? And like Kyle missed it? Yeah. You know, like took it too literal? Kyle did have a big problem with like communication and understanding what was jokes and what was serious.

Yeah. His friend may have been messing with him, and it totally screwed him over on the date. Because when you think about it, there's a lot of curve in Banana. Yeah, well, yeah. If somebody saw that shape, I'd be like, whoa. There's like a stem. There's just like a line.

Yeah, there's a stem. It's really tiny at one side. Yeah. And there's a lot happening there. There was a lot. You know what? He is the most endearing Banana Pants guy that I've ever liked. And he's honest. Yeah. And that's a lot happening there. There was a lot. But you know what? He is the most endearing banana pants guy that I've ever, like... And he's honest.

Yeah. And that's the thing. When you tell the truth and you come clean and be honest, that really sets you free on this show. I hope we get an update update from them. I don't know if I want an update update. Really? Especially after what she said is going to happen during date three. Oh.

I don't want to know. I do. I kind of do. Well, she can DM you directly at at brook fox fox on instagram you can reach out to brooke and give her all the weird details about what you guys do with that banana but only her not everybody else everybody at brook fox fox how do you use your banana but uh if you want to get a second date up to you can always email the show and we'll call the person who's been calling you back brooke and jeffrey in the morning

john stewart is back in the host chair at the daily show which means he's also back in our ears on the daily show ears edition podcast join late night legend john stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines exclusive extended interviews and more now this is a second term we can all get behind listen to the daily show ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.