Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Spread Your Legs

Episode Date: December 9, 2021

Kenny had a huge slip-up on his date...He said something really embarrassing that he didn't mean...And it's no secret why he isn't getting a call back, but he needs our help recovering from it in today's Second Date!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Listen to Athletes First Family Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Second Date Update. We got a request for a Second Date Update today from a guy named Kenny. Okay. But this is a little bit different than the ones we've done in the past before because he wants to call a woman, and apparently they already live together. What? Then just go to the other room. Yeah, just talk to each other while you're watching TV.

Kenny, are we calling your mom? No, man. I'm not calling to get a date with my mom. I mean, no judgment. Brooke's from Idaho. She's seen much weirder relationships go down. Actually, I'd like to argue, but I can't, Kenny. So who are we calling? Well, it's a girl named Twixie.

Twixie? Like the candy bar Twix with a Y? Yeah, I-E. Oh, wait, hold up, though. How do you live with this woman and you haven't taken her out on a date? Like, why do you need our help? Oh, no, I don't live with her. Literally, we live in the same apartment building. Oh.

Okay. That makes a little more sense. I thought you were sharing the same bathroom and she wasn't calling you back and it was like awkward silence. Okay, you do have the same address, just a different unit number. I get it. That's exactly it. Got it. Okay, so tell us about Twixie.

How did you guys meet? I mean, I guess you probably met her there. Yeah, so, you know, I've seen her walking around and walking her dog, and she's got a really cute look, you know? I mean, she's real sexy. Her dog? Nice. No.

Oh, Twixie was. Oh, okay. You know, it's a real gamble, though, if you're going to ask somebody out that lives in your same apartment building. Because if it doesn't work out, you both still live there. Like, that's awkward. Yeah. I guess, but I wanted to give it a shot.

You got to shoot your shot. And how often had you talked to her prior to asking her out? Pretty much every time I saw her, but it was just hellos. Okay. So really no real conversation. Yeah, I mean, like, every time I saw her, I couldn't keep my eyes off her, though. She's kind of an alternative girl with pink hair, just like a Twixie should be. Yeah, it fits her name.

Yeah, totally. So how did you end up asking out Twixie? Well, it was one of those situations where I was heading down in the elevator to go out and she got in with her dog and we went down and I was just like, hey, you know, do you want to get a cup of coffee? Oh, my God. You sound so casual. Were you nervous? What were you feeling? Yeah, I mean, I guess it wasn't that bad because I seen her a lot. So it's kind of like I already felt like she knew me. So that pressure was off.

OK, I can see that. Some familiarity there. So what'd she say? She was like, yeah, cool. I'm i'm going that way you know she was kind of nonchalant about it i didn't get that like you know yeah like you know it wasn't what i was expecting but what were you what you're really expecting though like woohoo yeah he asked me did you hear that doggy i love coffee well i mean you know what i mean right like i know what you mean she said like i'll do that because i'm headed that way anyway it wasn't even like i'll go out of Well, I mean, you know what I mean, right? I know what you mean, Ken. You didn't seem excited. She said, like, I'll do that because I'm headed that way anyway. It wasn't even like, I'll go out of my way to go get coffee with you.

Right. She's like, that's fine. I have nothing better to do. Okay. But I'll take what I can get at that point, you know, so that's... All right. Totally. How'd coffee go?

It went great. You know, she's really interesting. She's, like, very unique girl. You know, she... Good. go it went great you know she's really interesting she's like very unique girl you know she besides having a a pretty face and uh real sexy when she's walking her dog you know she's got a calligraphy business cool oh that's cool yeah oh it takes a lot of patience and practice to do something like that that's like the writing right yeah where you like write fancy things fancy writing and then she picks her own berries to make her own jam.

I mean, I've never met someone like that. This sounds like a hipster to the T. Or a grandma. Walks her dog, does calligraphy. Oh, okay. So did you ask her to come sample some jam sometime at her place? Can I taste your jam? Yeah, well, you know, there's an opening there okay no i

mean i kept it cool you know i was a gentleman and i i didn't want to come off too strong and was hoping to you know move in on maybe the next date or like a like a dinner or something move in together on the second date man you're going quick i mean like did she give you any indication what her vibe was towards you? Well, unless she was just being super polite, she seemed very interesting or interested in what I was saying. And I know I was extremely interested in what she was saying. Do you think there's any way it could have been misinterpreted? Like she didn't realize it was a date, maybe since it was so casual?

Maybe, but something else happened after the date and that could possibly be the reason why i haven't heard back okay what happened it was like the day after we went out for coffee and you know i just happened to go outside because i saw her you know outside yeah and i i wanted to say i was just coming to stretch my legs, but I think it came out like, hey, I came out to spread your legs. Oh, my God. And what was her reaction to hearing that? And did you kind of mean it? I mean, yeah, I kind of meant it, but I mean, yeah, I mean, you know where I'm going with this.

Yeah, she had the same reaction on the elevator. She was like, yeah, sure, whatever. Whatever. Did she slap this. Yeah, she had the same reaction on the elevator. She was like, yeah, sure, whatever. Whatever? Did she slap you? Yeah, she had a shocked look on her face. Yeah. But then I caught myself and told her what I really meant to say. Oh, my God.

It's one thing to mess up your words, but when the messed up words make sense. Oh, God, it's so bad. And you can just, like, see the words coming out of your mouth, but you can't control them anymore. And you're like, what did I say? What did I do? So now what? Have you been able to talk to her since then? It's been like four or five days.

I text her, no response. Oh, man. It's got to be that day. Yeah, you're going to have to move, man. I texted her like a leg emoji or anything. No, don't keep running with it. I was hoping for a little help here, you know? Yeah.

No promises here because of the whole spread the legs comment I can't make any guarantees We're going to play a song And we'll come back and we'll call Twixie for you And get you your second date update, okay? Alright, cool, thank you Alright, hold on If you're just tuning in for the second date update

We're on the phone with a guy named Kenny And Kenny, I'm just going to be honest with you, man From what I heard in the first part of this call If you're just tuning in for the second date update, we're on the phone with a guy named Kenny. And Kenny, I'm just going to be honest with you, man. From what I heard in the first part of this call, you sound like you work out. What? Am I right? That's what you got? How did you do? I'm pretty healthy.

Look at that. You hear that? You just hear the testosterone in his voice. I don't, bro. What part of your body am I thinking about right now, Kenny? My arms? It's the quads. Oh. Then it was the traps after that. That's, Kenny? My arms? It's the quads. Oh.

Then it was the traps after that. That's okay. I'm surprised it wasn't the glue. I'm still impressed with you. Thanks, man. I appreciate it. I mean, they went to coffee. How did you get working out out of any of this?

How did you not? It's the first thing that I heard. It was like a coffee date. He met her at the apartment he lived in. Okay, well, yeah. So Kenny did meet a girl, probably after he finished working out, who lives in his apartment building. And this girl's name is Twixie.

They got coffee together one morning. He learned she has a calligraphy business and makes her own jams. But there was an awkward moment the next day when he saw her outside and he meant to say something cool and casual, like, I just came out here to stretch my legs. Which is so cool.

What a cool term. It is casual, though. Yeah, but instead that came out, I came out here to stretch my legs, which is so cool Yeah, but instead that came out I came out here to spread your legs Which It probably would have worked on me but Twixie didn't have the same reaction and she's not responded to his text after that Oh, that's true. So now Kenny's worried worried he may never get to taste Twixie's sweet, sweet jams. Why are you so

weird, bro? That's just, that's a true thing. She meant jam, but you say it like that. Kenny, have you apologized over text again for the misspeaking? No, I mean, I didn't want to harp on it, so I just kind of played it off like it was a joke, and I didn't mention it again, but, I mean, I didn't want to harp on it, so I just kind of played it off like it was a joke,

and I didn't mention it again, but, you know, it's bumming me out because I really like this girl, you know? And you haven't run into her at all at the apartment building since this incident? I've been looking for opportunities to, and I just haven't seen her. Okay. She's avoiding you. Yeah, I think you're right. For sure. Yeah.

Well, let's call Twixie right now, and then afterwards we'll compare workout routines, okay? All right, you got it. All right, but first let's handle this. We're going to dial the number. Thanks. Here we go. Hello? Hi, can I speak to Twixie, please? Yeah, this is her.

Hi, Twixie. My name's Jeffrey from the radio show brooke and jeffrey in the morning and i've got a hankering for some mixed berry preserves i heard you're my gal uh okay you sound a little confused i take it you don't sell your jam on the regular twixie no i don't sorry I'm a little confused. Yeah. So we're calling because we're doing something called a second date update. Basically, a friend of our show emailed us about you, a guy who lives in your building.

His name's Kenny. Oh. Yeah. That was a long oh there. Not in a good way. Yeah. You remember him, Twixie? Yeah, I remember Kenny.

Uh-oh. Kenny remembers you, too. He told us about spending time with you at the coffee shop. How was that for you? Oh, he said that. Yeah, he told us all about hanging out with you, and he really had a good time, but he's wondering why you're not calling him back.

Interesting. Yeah, we had coffee. did you count that as a date um it was sort of like not a date but sort of date like yeah like a pre-date almost like a kid yeah yeah i mean her dog was there so it was like a third wheel was along so it's not like a true first date anyway. Got it. See, we know a lot about you, Twixie. Yeah. Is that all he told you? Well, it's not all he told us. He also told us about an embarrassing interaction he had with you the following day where he came out and he fumbled his words. Oh, so he told you what he said. Okay.

Oh, my God. So he's worried about that. Is that the reason that you're not calling him back? Were you just not attracted to him or something? No, you know, so I did think he was cute. And I, you know, I had a good time on the coffee date. But afterwards, I realized, you know, I don't really know a lot about this guy. And I happen to be friends with our property manager.

Okay. So I, you know, did what any girl would do. I just said, hey, you know, do you know this guy and I happen to be friends with our property manager okay so I you know did what any girl would do I just said hey you know do you know this guy I had a impromptu coffee date with him and my friend was like yeah well he seems like an okay guy but he had a weird request and I was like well what was that and my friend was like so he requested to bring two large freezers into his apartment. The ones where the lid opens up? Yeah, like people put them in their garage? Yeah.

Oh, my God. We used to have those. But why would you have two in your apartment? That's true. You have one of those when you're a family of five or a family of six and you go to Costco a lot. Right. Yes, exactly. Not when you're living by yourself in a one bedroom.

If you just went through a breakup and you're really sad, you need a place to put all the ice cream. Let's not jump to conclusions. Oh, my God. But I don't know. Why would this guy need it? I don't know. I asked my friend and they said it was none of their business. So they just approved it.

They approved it. He has two chest freezers. So I don't understand, though, why you're not calling him back because he has freezers. That's weird to me. At the risk of sounding corny, like, I don't know, maybe he's a murderer. I will say chest freezers do always give out the vibe that there's a body in there, even if it's somebody's in the garage. OK, you're worried that maybe he's a secret murderer. And that's why he asked the apartment building to bring in chest freezers.

That's just what came to mind. I think most girls would think that. I mean, I kind of had a knee jerk reaction, too. And I heard two freezers in like a one bedroom apartment. Yeah, it freaks me out for some reason. Yes, it's not logical. And I've probably watched too many bad movies, but it just seems real strange. Well, I don't know why he would need them either.

Maybe we should just ask Kenny. I think so. Kenny, you murdering people? Put them in your freezer? They usually say yes when you ask someone. No, of course not. I mean, that's ridiculous. Why would you even ask the manager about me?

What is going on? You got on the phone? Yeah. Yeah, I called about you. Yeah. That's how these second date updates work, Twixie. We should have told you that Kenny's been on the other line listening this whole time. Yeah.

Oh, my God, no. Yes. Yeah, I mean, well, obviously you're not responding to me, so I just wanted to see how I could save this thing. But, I mean, I think it's gone a little far now that you're making assumptions about me murdering people and asking the property manager about me. Why is that what you're focusing on when you should be explaining why you have two freezers? If you really have to know, I mean, I definitely use one of them because I'm on a cow crowding app.

You know, it's for meat. Yeah, human meat. Human meat is in there. No, he said cow. No, it's like beef and chicken and pork and whatever, you know. It's like whatever I feel like eating, I store it. So wait, Twixie, do you believe him? You think it's the freezers for meat?

You know, it seems really convenient. Now he's saying he has a freezer full of meat. I don't understand why I'm supposed to believe him. I just don't want to be left alone. I would invite you immediately to come upstairs and look at my meat. Okay, again, that did not help your case, Kenny. I thought it was pretty sweet. I mean, you know, look at the freezer.

The meat in the freezer. You know what I mean? You're going to push her in. Yeah, come up, you single woman, to my apartment. Okay, so, well, you said one freezer is full of meat. What's the second freezer for then? I do this thing called cryotherapy. You know, it helps me with training and so forth.

Oh, like athletes? Wait, what? Home cryotherapy? You got a chest freezer to sit in an ice bath? Isn't that what cryotherapy is? It's not a bath. It's like really cold temperatures that you like stand in. Yeah, for a certain amount of time.

Dude, it is really dangerous to get inside a chest freezer. Doesn't it lock from the outside? Well, I asked my doctor and he said it was totally cool. It actually helped my performance. A doctor told you to do this? Yeah, I mean, a guy I know and he said it was totally cool. It actually helped my performance. A doctor told you to do this? Yeah, I mean, a guy I know online that said it, and I just wrapped my body in gauze and get in it. Oh, an online doctor told you it was okay to get in a chest freezer.

That makes sense. Yeah, now you're totally good. I don't know why I even doubted you, but why do you have to wrap yourself in gauze? That's the proper protocol for cryotherapy. Probably so you don't get freezer burns even doubted you, but why do you have to wrap yourself in gauze? That's the proper protocol for cryotherapy. Probably so you don't get freezer burns. Yeah. No, seriously.

Inside of the freezer. Seriously, look it up. Wait, you're sitting in a chest freezer. You don't close the lid, right? Yeah, I close it to get the full effect. What? Hey, I just want to know, who's the guy in the back laughing at me, like, all the time? That's me.

He laughs at everything. Don't worry. So, Twixie, now we know that one of his giant freezers is used to store a bunch of meat, and the other one he uses to do some home cryotherapy on himself. Does that work for you? No, that's almost weirder to me. Oh, you'd prefer that he was a murderer again, then. I would have gone with the frozen body parts.

No. This is just too strange. I'm not interested at all. Hold on. Before you start throwing out crazy things like that, I just have to ask you first. He's crazy. Would you like to go on another date with Kenny? We'll pay for it.

We'll supply the ice so you guys can cryo freeze together. Hey, he can show you. As tempting as that is, no. Oh, my God. Come on. I bet he's... Shocker. God, women just do not accept anything from men these days.

Just so judgy. Kenny, this is not a DIY operation, okay? You need to stop doing that and go to an actual cryotherapy, whatever they are called. Why? I invested all this money so I could do it at home myself. It's like you're going to go tanning in the oven? No. You just go see the professionals.

Yeah, yeah. Make fun of me. That's all right. No, we're worried about your safety. Yeah, dude. Just make sure it doesn't lock. That's all. Oh, my God.

So, okay, man. I'm sorry, Kenny. No second date with Twixie there. I do feel bad for Kenny. It's not fair to judge people like that. No, I'm with you, man. I'm sorry, Kenny. No second date with Twixie there. I do feel bad for Kenny. It's not fair to judge people like that. No, I'm with you, bro. It's something I do for myself, you know, for training. Okay.

I'll come lie in the freezer with you sometime, Kenny. You and me, okay? Thanks. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's Show and In Your Ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment

to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on

the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. podcasts to give you the context you need to make sense of it all. Every day in just 15 minutes, we dive into one global business story that matters. You'll hear from Bloomberg journalists like Matt Levine. A lot of this meme stock stuff is, I think, embarrassing to the SEC. Follow The Big Take podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. $1.4 billion in NFL quarterback contracts, the untold stories behind the biggest deals in football history. I'm AJ Stevens, Vice President of Client Strategy at Athletes First, introducing the Athletes First Family Podcast, the quarterback series. My co-host Brian Murphy, Athletes First CEO, and I are sitting down with the agents who have negotiated contracts for Justin Herbert, Deshaun Watson, Dak Prescott, Tua Tugnavailoa, and Jordan Love. Listen to Athletes First Family

Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.