Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Super Rich Sucks

Episode Date: June 8, 2022

We had to make Alexis swear not to hit on the listener in today's Second Date... Because it's one of the wealthiest, most elaborate dates we've ever heard of!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Second Date Update. This might be the coolest place that we're ever going to hear a first date happen. Ooh, I love this. Or at least it's probably the fanciest.

Okay. Because one of our listeners today named Jack said he had his first date in a mansion. What? Which begs the question, Jack, how were you allowed into my parents' neighborhood? Because I don't know of any Jack, and I didn't see your name on the list. So explain yourself quickly before I let our pet Jaguar Martin have his way with you. Well, I did have a date in a mansion, but it wasn't in your parents' neighborhood.

Oh, okay. One of the poorer neighborhoods, I see. The poor rich neighborhood. All Alexis is thinking right now is, is it your mansion, Jack? That's all I want to know. How did you get into a mansion? So, I mean, I work for a wealthy family

as a personal assistant. So it was one of the few strings I can pull as the assistant. They were out of town. That's so cool. It's like when your parents leave, but if your parents were really, really rich. Yeah, you can use the west wing of the house. If your parents leave, but you do all of the planning for your parents, and if you don't do the planning right, your parents yell at you because you're incompetent oh got it so in a way you earned it for yourself so that's kind

of nice who is the girl that you brought over there uh her name is michelle uh i met her on a dating app okay and uh she seemed game to come over to the place can i ask, do you, like, try to show this place off as if it's your own? No, no, no. Why not? You know, I don't wear expensive enough shoes for, I think, any girl to believe that. That's true. Okay, so you say, hey, my employer's gone and we can use their house. Yeah, I figured, why not enjoy the fruits of my labor?

I think that actually works in your favor because you still have access to the house and all the cool things, but she also knows you're probably grounded and down to earth. You're not some rich snob. Yeah. Unless the owners are hotter. I'm just saying. She sees some family photos around.

How did Michelle react when you told her the situation? Did she seem into it? Yeah, immediately. Ah. Not judgy like Alexis. Hey, no, I'd go. Oh go oh okay i think it'd be really fun what'd you guys plan on doing did you like make dinner is there a pool or a like hot tub is there i don't know how many pools are there

are they indoors or outdoors three of them are heated it depends on what you call a pool i mean their bathtub is the size of my pool growing up as a kid. Oh, that is dull, bro. Okay. I mean, things can get intimate pretty quick in a situation like that. Or she gets lost somewhere in the house. Yeah. So how did it go?

What did you guys do? Well, you know, I prepped the house. I had the lights dimmed. I had the music that we bonded over on the app playing as she came in. And I mean, the chef was even there the day before. So he prepped this whole meal for me. So I had it already cooked for her. They let the chef come even though they're out of town?

You're probably just buddies with him, right? Yeah, that's true. Yeah, yeah. I mean, he was getting rid of a lot of stuff that was going to go bad since they're out. Yeah, the lobster has three more days. Let's go. Yeah. Exactly.

The kind of beef it was was more than I can afford. So I'm... Cool, bro. Dude. I bet she was so excited. What do you even wear to a date like that? You know, just going out clothes. Nothing too fancy.

Okay. That's so fun. Yeah. I mean, how was the connection going between you and Michelle? Did you guys bond? Yeah. I mean, I thought so. We joked around the whole night. She made fun of me being a boy, which is, you know, that's fine.

What is that? Because he's the personal assistant. Oh, yeah. Okay, I mean, that's kind of rude. I mean, you always want to be with somebody who can, like, you know, poke fun at you. Yeah. You don't want to be with someone who takes things too seriously. Yeah, I mean, there's no way to take seriously, like, you know, poke fun at you. Yeah. You know, like, you don't want to be with someone who takes things too seriously. Yeah, I mean, there's no way to take seriously,

like, bowling in a home. Wait, there's a bowling alley? What? Wow. Yeah, there's a personal two-lane bowling alley. What? She kicked my ass as well. I mean, everything down the line,

this girl is in all the boxes, you know? Okay. The coup de grace, right? Like, I take her to the garage. I show her all of the excessively expensive cars because girls typically they like that sort of thing and you know it was cool for a bit i don't think it was anything too bad going on what do you mean by that yeah i've worked for a few wealthy families in the past and they're all very particular about their cars and she wanted

to jump it like she literally jumped in one oh I didn't want to overreact or anything, but I definitely was pretty stern with her. How many fingers of hers did you cut off? Is that what you do, Jeff? Yeah, they have to learn. I'm just kidding. What did you do when she did that? I might have raised my voice a little bit

and just told her to hop out immediately. Did you explain why? Did you at least take a photo of her in it? Is that the real question alexis yeah no i i tried to explain it i think she understood it but i don't know like she hasn't uh messaged me since this date and i we kissed at the end it seemed very nice like i didn't push anything too far but i don't know i think something there was maybe i revealed some part of myself she didn't like i don't know well you shouldn't be revealing yourself, not on the first date.

That's inappropriate, unless you have consent to do so. I don't think that's what he meant. I think he meant revealing a personality trait she didn't like. You know what? That makes more sense now that I actually have time to think about it. Well, we got the gist of what happened on the date. I don't know how you could go out with someone like this and then not want to go back and see them again.

You date this person, you get these perks all the time. For real. Absolutely. So let's call Michelle and find out what is wrong with her. And we're going to do it with your second date update next. Second date update. What's it like to go on a date with a person who isn't necessarily rich, but who takes care of a rich person's house. I feel like it's close enough to rich.

You are who you surround yourself with. Right? Yeah, I'm into it. Our listener Jack knows all about it because that's his life. He's the personal assistant to a very wealthy family and brought his date Michelle over to their luxurious estate where they ate fine food, looked at fine cars, and went bowling on a fine alley.

A private alley. Every time I use the word fine in front of something, it just sounds richer. Yeah, a fine wooden alley. Yes, but now things aren't so fine because she's not returning his calls, and I just hope she didn't swipe some of the silverware and feels guilty about it.

I bet it was more goldenware. Yeah, she'd be coming back for more. Jack, did you check the china cabinets and the sterling drawers before she left? Yeah, I did not. No. Well, we have our first theory. She's a thief? It could be.

But yeah, what are your thoughts? I'm curious to hear what her opinion is on this. I thought we had a great date. I don't come across people like this a lot, so I just hope I didn't screw it up. I bet it was your tone. You said you kind of raised your voice at her when she jumped in the car. Don't tell a girl no. Yeah, exactly.

Especially if she's in like a quarter million dollar vehicle. He's got a lot of backup options on our text board right now. Yeah, by the way. The text board. Yeah, Alexis is over here. I think you'll be good, man. Yeah, but we're going to start with Michelle here. So let's dial her number and see what she has to say.

Here we go. Awesome. Hello? Hey, is this Michelle? Who's this? My name is Jeff. My full name is Jeffrey. Joffrey.

Yes. With a big J on it. Yeah, not the G-O. And I'm calling from a radio show called Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning. A fancy morning show. We heard you like fancy things. I'm sorry, what is this about?

You're confused. I don't think we're passing off as being rich. No. Sorry, Michelle. What we're doing is a segment called The Second Date Update. We're trying to help one of our listeners get some answers after he went on a date with you, and now he's not getting a call back. Um, sorry.

I'm sort of confused what's going on. One of our listeners named Jack reached out to us because he said that he took you out on a date. And it sounded like an awesome date. Yeah. You remember Jack? Yeah. Yeah, I remember Jack. Okay.

Was the date as awesome as we're hyping it up to be? I mean, you had a chef. You were at a mansion. Bowling alley. Yeah, a private bowling alley. That would blow my mind. Yeah. Yeah, no, it was fine.

Jack was a good guy. I just don't really see it happening again. Oh. That's too bad. Really? Why? Did you see it happening at the beginning and then something changed or the whole time

you were like, eh, not into it? No, I mean he was a really nice guy. He's cute. He obviously showed me this very cool place which was fun. He was a little funny. He had music playing.

It was all very sweet and it sounds really thoughtful too like he put on the music you guys connected over she said nice though when you don't describe a guy you like is like he was nice yeah nice guys finished last but i'm still not getting like which part of it made you not want to call him yeah what went wrong nothing went wrong necessarily it's i actually met someone else i sort of connected with better so you're just you're talking to a couple people on the app and no i didn't meet this person on the app actually i met them the same night what as my date with Jack. You had multiple dates lined up? No.

It's a funny story, actually. I got to... To Jack. It may be to us. What happened? Yeah, go ahead. So I got to this mansion for the date and there were gates outside so I had to stop at the gate

and when the gates opened, a car was leaving. And the guy rolled down his window and he was like, do you have permission to be here? I told him I was a guest of Jack's. And so then he introduced himself and he's like, oh, well, I'm the chef. And he started talking to me. He told me like what it's like working there.

Oh, well, you guys are sitting in different cars like talking through a window well no i had parked down the block so i was on foot and he was in the car that makes more sense i thought you were like yelling through the passenger window of your car he's like in the back of a limousine so you're you're bonding with the chef of the house yeah and he was really charming and before he left he gave me his card and said if i ever wanted to know more wanted his services and the card had his personal intro oh so he was like legit hitting on you the chef was before you even started your date with jack a little bit yeah oh but wait minute, didn't he end up coming back and cooking for you guys?

No, he cooked it the night before. Jack just reheated it. You guys just had that passing encounter at the gate. You haven't seen him since then, right? Not right. I couldn't stop thinking about him during the whole date. So I texted Chef Nico the next day. We've been hanging out for the last week or so. Oh, my God.

He cooks these incredible meals. Yeah, he can cook. And you get the same perks of the house. You know what? It's hard to beat Chef Nico. I get it like there's no chefs can be really sexy he's talented he's really sexy he's got an accent it's like oh no but i really don't i don't want jack to find out because i just i don't want to cause any sort of rift with him at work bad news that would cause drama geoffrey yeah the the i i wish we

could do something like that for you but it's kind of too late michelle because simple jack is on the other side no No, are you kidding? He's been listening this whole time. No. Yeah, Jack? I heard all of that. I hope you enjoy an unemployed chef because that's something I can make happen.

Whoa! Oh, you're coming in hot. You're flexing your muscles, Jack. You let me flagellate in front of you for three and a half hours while you were daydreaming about a chef? Oh, wow. I know. I don't know. I thought it was her.

Did you just say chef? You're a personal assistant. Oh, no. This is way too heated. I'm an executive assistant, first off, okay? And he works beneath me. There's a chain of command. You could have just not shown up for f***'s sake.

Oh, no. You wanted me to stand you up after I ran into someone? You know what? If you look at it morally, if you look at the morality of the situation, that would have been much better than fooling over the f***ing chef that you just met while I'm sitting there hopeful. No, but see, that would be like enjoying the hors d'oeuvre and then being like, forget the entree.

I don't need it. No, Jack, that's not fair. I mean, she didn't plan it. She might not have planned it, but Nico could have planned it for sure. It's not the first time he's done something like this. Oh, it's not? Really?

Is this guy kind of a creeper? Wait, Nico stole other dates from you? Yeah, Michelle, I want you to know that your connection with Nico, it's super pure. It's super real. He's not just trying to have sex with an American girl to get green card. He does sound like a creeper. Pretty classic European. But maybe Michelle's okay with that.

Yeah, I know what Lexus is. Michelle, is that what you're going for? Yeah, I would rather have that than have whatever this energy is from Jack. You know, this doesn't sound like it's going great, so I think maybe we're just going to abandon ship here. I think so. Or abandon yacht. Oh, yeah.

Excuse me. Thank you. Michelle, you know, thanks for being on with us. And being honest. Normally, we'd even offer to pay for a date, but they have a private chef. Like, what else can we offer? Yeah, I'm covered. I mean, Jack, would you feel super offended if I offered Michelle another date with Nico?

Oh, Jack. Don't do that. That way we can get in on it. Please do it. I hope she catches whatever he has. Like fresh fish? Yeah. Please do it. I hope she catches whatever he has. Oh! Like fresh fish? Yeah.

Well, definitely. Okay, yeah. I mean, is it going to be weird now to see Nico around the mansion? Oh, don't ask. I thought I made it clear I will no longer be seeing Nico around the mansion. Oh, come on. Well, I am looking for a private chef. Oh, my God.

And Alexis is going to be next in line. She's the second course. Why am I second to Brooke? Alexis, I don't know if you can afford it. Can everyone stop fighting over Nico, please? Sorry. He does sound pretty dreamy. I can't lie.

I'm not you too, bro. I think I'm on board now. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Oh my God, that was intense. That was fun. I actually really liked it. Is that bad? Oh, really?

You like the couple that fights. I mean, I feel bad for Jack, but there were so many twists and turns. What a cool story on her end. I met the chef as I was... Okay, anyway. Sorry. You're wishing that you were her at this point. I mean, we haven't had fireworks like that on the show in quite some time.

And I don't necessarily blame Jack for being that upset about it. But, you know, in the dating world, if you put a hot foreign guy who can cook up against pretty much anybody, you better wave the white flag. All fair in love and really rich people. Yeah, that's the same. I'm just worried what's going to happen at the mansion when Jack actually sees Chef Nico. This is why I wish they were on Desperate Housewives or something. Yeah, we need a camera in there. So we can see it play out.

I don't know. I bet he just sends an email and never sees Nico again. No way. Did you hear Jack? He's passionate, man. He's going to fire him right in his face. It's going to be like Beauty and the Beast when Lumiere backhands Cogsworth for screwing up. I could see that.

Yeah. But if you ever want to get a second date update or if you're really rich. Yeah, totally. We need more rich people. Yeah, we do. People connected to rich people on the show. I just don't think a lot of rich people listen to us. We'll take middle class.

That's fine. You can email the show. We'll call the person who isn't calling you back. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late-night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind.

Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.