Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Sweet Sixteen Dates

Episode Date: August 2, 2024

There’s a brand new food item that you should definitely AVOID ordering on a first date unless you want to end up like one of our listeners. We’ll hear what it was and try to help him recover in a new Second Date podcast!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hi, I'm Ed Zitron, host of the Better Offline podcast. And this January, we're going to go on the road to beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada, to cover the Consumer Electronics Show, tech's biggest conference. Better Offline CES coverage won't be the usual rundown of the hottest gadgets or biggest trends, but an unvarnished look at what the tech industry plans to sell or do to you in 2025.

I'll be joined by David Roth of Defector and the writer Edward Ongueso Jr. With guest appearances from Behind the Bastards' Robert Evans, It Could Happen Here's Gare Davis, and a few surprise guests throughout the show. Listen to Better Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts from. There's a new trend that's happening right now where people online are posting dating-wrapped videos. Have you guys seen that? Like you're Spotify-wrapped, but like, wait, how many matches and stuff you got? Yeah, like an end of the year recap of their dating life from the past 365 days.

I feel like that could go really wrong. No, but it's like who you swipe on, what you don't, like who you, you know. Yeah, it's just. Like the type of person? Yeah. Or like the total amount of dates that you tried for the past year. And you're patting yourself on the back for getting out there. Okay, it's not about the failure.

And today's caller, Kelly, mentioned in her email that she's dated around a lot over the past year. So our producer asked if she could give us a dating rap for herself. All right. So we're going to hear that in a second. First, Kelly, welcome to the show. Hi, thank you. Thanks for having me. Thanks for being on with us.

We want to hear about what's your dating rap briefly for us, if you can. Every time you say rap, I want her to break down. We don't need the hip-hop version. The night. Thank you, Jose. That's what I wanted. I can give you a beat if you need it. It would make the raps way more cooler.

Just a quick breakdown. What was your dating life like last year? Yeah, that's funny. I wish I could rap my raps, but it was 16 first dates total. Okay. Mostly Americans. I had two Australians, one Irish guy, one guy who I don't know what his accent was, but I think he may have been homeless also.

Did they put that in the rap, or is that your version? Homeless accent. He just picked up accents from everywhere he's been. Wow. No judgment. So that's good. It sounds like you're keeping your options open. Was there anything more?

What did you think about the 16 guys that you were with? That sounds really weird, Jeff. Don't say it like that. Don't flip that. Okay. You're so judgy. You know what I meant. Of the 16 guys you met separately during the year, how did they go?

Yeah, you know, like out of the 16, six made it to a second date. Okay. Out of those six, only three made it to a third date or more. All right. Okay. Yeah. Now, of all the guys, two flat out rejected me right after the date. Okay.

Eight were, like, mutual ghostings. Three I rejected and told them it just wasn't going to work. And one blocked me, like, immediately after the date, but he was a little sus. I think he might have been married. Wait. Oh. Oh, God.

Yeah, that makes sense. Nothing you did wrong there. Yeah. Other than go out with him, I suppose. Alexis, looking back at her 16 first dates, how would you grade her overall experience? It's not looking good, but one 16th for being blocked. Like, that's not bad, right?

One 16th. Yeah. And the silver lining. And it wasn't for something she did. Exactly. I like that angle. That's a good aspect. Outlook, I mean.

Yeah, and out of the 16, I only had to pay half on, like, one of them. And I'm really old-fashioned, and I prefer the had to pay half on like one of them and i'm really old-fashioned and i prefer the guy to pay that's just how my mom and dad taught me you're not old-fashioned you're cheap let's be honest i mean i get it you can be both yeah no that's how it was and i cried over two guys last year and ended up with zero serious relationship well jose and i do make a lot of women cry when they listen to this show. Oh, yeah, we do. So, Kelly, none of the 16 guys worked out,

but now apparently you say there's a new guy, and that's why you reached out to us. Yeah, there's a new guy. I was hopeful. I don't know yet. His name's Steve. It was, like, an online match, and it was just a casual date.

It was really, like, less than an hour, like a 40 minute. Oh, so you went out with them already? Yeah, we just got Cuban sandwiches from this little sandwich shop and just went to the park and ate and talked and we were by this playground

with kids running around. Why is that important? Is that significant in some way? The playground? She's like, that's my kid. No. It's a lot of information coming at us. I mean, there's sandwiches, there's a park, there's a playground, there's children.

Does that sound like a good date? First, like, overall, Alexis? No kids around, no. But the sandwich is okay. Sandwich is okay. And honestly, if the playground was empty, I'd play on it. But it's the kids that are there. That would be a fun date, playing on the playground.

Okay. That would be a fun date, playing on the playground. That would be a fun date. No, it was really just kind of a lunch date, really, because the sandwiches were really messy, and at one point, he was like, you got something on your face, and I was like, oh, where? And he was like, he pointed to my entire lower half, and he

was like, everywhere under your nose. What? Oh, my God. that means he's paying attention you know he's looking at you you have like a mustard i'm not even joking when i met my husband i didn't realize i carried so much food on my face until i met that man and i was like he always has something to point out oh that's like no one else before him ever said anything which is amazing how the women on this show can spin anything into a positive for another woman. I mean, you heard the odds, Jeff. I don't think that's bad. I mean, how'd you guys end it?

After we ate, we were just kind of like, oh, if we had a Frisbee, we'd throw it. But we just kind of picked up a stick and was kind of playing with it. Just throwing a stick? Go get it! Go get it! You played fetch with your date i mean it got no but it got a little awkward you know i was really hoping he'd say like you know what let's just go grab a drink and proceed to like a nighttime thing and he's so cute i'm sure he gets a lot of attention from women on on the app so well he doesn't sound very good at a date i mean he didn't even bring a Frisbee or anything.

He didn't even eat at a sandwich place. He went to a park. Why is the man in trouble for paying for the sandwich? She's the one that ate it sloppily on the date. I'm just saying that I don't think he's getting hit on as much as she thinks because he is not as experienced as he should be. Which is a good sign.

I'm sure it's the man's fault somehow, but let's prove it when we come back. We're going to call Steve for you and try and get you your second date update right after this. If your name is Steve, you better pick up today. All right, hold on. Second date update. I feel like in the first part, we definitely missed something. What did we miss?

And by we, I mean Brooke. Okay. Why did I know that we were going there? Brooke was adamant that even though the guy is the one not calling Kelly back, and Kelly said herself he's very good looking and must get a lot of attention on the dating apps, and Kelly's the one that had sandwich pieces all over her face, Brooke heard all of that and says, nope, the guy is a bad date planner. I bet no women want to go out with him.

No, no. I didn't say no women. I just said I don't think that he's as wanted as she thinks. I'm trying to hype her up, okay? She has something to offer on this table, and he is going to, maybe, maybe he was too intimidated by how awesome she is. You know? The sandwich all over her face was too intimidating.

Listen, I've gotten food on my face. It shouldn't stop anything. Okay. It shouldn't actually. Stop a kiss. It just normally does. Yeah, I've gotten food on my face. It shouldn't stop anything. Okay. It should, actually. Stop a kiss. Yeah, just eat politely once on one of your dates. Try that.

But look, the whole thing is Kelly really liked the guy that she met up with, Steve. They did a casual date in the park with Cuban sandwiches. They tossed a stick back and forth. It was a great time. The stick was a little strange. I mean, they weren't sure what else to do. It was short, though. And so now, afterwards, she's hoping to get one more shot with him because he's been kind of ghosty.

Yeah, yeah. Have you heard from him at all, Kelly? I haven't. And now I'm nervous because I was really sloppy. Maybe I grossed him out. I don't know. So he's sloppy like drunk or just sloth gives the food all over you? The passion that you had going into that sandwich is what it is.

It was really good. I know. Brooke is like understanding him really. If you could do that to a sandwich, just imagine what else you could do. That is right, Jeffrey. We are here to hype her up. That's a lot of love a sandwich?

Yeah, it's disgusting. All right. I love you, Brooke. I really hope that's not what he says, but here we go. We'll dial his number. We'll see what he has to say. Let's do it. Hello?

Hey, we're looking for Steve. Speaking. Hey, Steve. I said we because you're on the radio right now with Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Hey, Steve. How you doing, man? You're from the radio? Yes. And podcast.

Podcast, too. Yeah, yeah. We got a good podcast. We are multifaceted here. Yeah, we're in the future with our entertainment, but we're focused on you right now because one of our listeners went on a date with you the other day and really had a good time. Yeah. Wants to see you again,

but that hasn't quite happened yet, and she's not sure why. Her name's Kelly. Ugh. Oh, man. Oh, man. Okay. Oh, man. Okay. He meant, oh, man, yes. Yeah. That still doesn't sound good. The fact that you're not reaching out for another date is kind of hinting that you're not interested,

but we're not sure if that's true or not. We want to know what you think about Kelly. Sure, yeah. She's very nice. Like, Kelly's cool. But, you know, I just don't think it's going to work out. Okay. Is there a reason?

I mean, you went into it thinking that it could work out, right? Yeah. I mean, definitely. But, you know, like, we got some food and then we went to the park. Yeah, she said that. And it just started to get a little weird. But, like, you know, I don't, like, want to blow up her spot. Like, I don't even know you guys.

See, we didn't hear anything, like, weird. She said she had, like, some food or something on her face but nothing stood out to be weird but maybe that's weird to him you know like maybe it's weird to him to have a female have food all over their face no no actually i thought that was kind of cute see i told you guys not a turn off what was the issue you said it was weird yeah what's yeah i'm like so you know we were sitting on the bench we're chilling um and there's like a playground you know that's in this park that we're in and oh yeah she randomly mentioned that to us too yeah yeah and she so there's like a bunch of kids playing and all of a sudden she points and she's like oh my god look imagine if

we had that many kids and those were all our kids running around and there were like i don't like eight ten kids playing on the playground oh my god so she was describing a nightmare right like that's how she meant like imagine how chaotic our life would be she sounded she sounded thrilled oh thrilled okay so that's a red flag to you well that, that's a lot. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, like, I've known you for, like, 20 minutes, and now we're having eight kids together.

Yeah, that. Okay, in her defense, I will say it sounds like maybe she was just trying to fill the void. Like, maybe there was, like, an odd... Because she said, like, it kind of died at the end, your guys' date. Maybe she was just trying to... Like, I say dumb things. Could you understand that point of view, maybe, Steve?

I mean, I guess I could, but she started getting, like, really into it. Oh. She was, like, naming them. Oh, boy. There was, like, this other one weird thing where she wasn't feeling one of the kids, and she was like, he's not playing nice. We would put him up for adoption. Okay, she's obviously kidding, guys.

Well, that should be a positive for you because you don't want that many kids. Then he would only have seven. There you go. You're getting closer to your goal. She didn't say she was a good mother of eight. That's a good point. Just a mother. Okay, but it sounds like it was all that conversation kind of scared you

was too much for you. Joking or not. Yeah, I mean, you know, I guess. But if she was joking, maybe you could work it out. Yeah. And there's a perfect person to find out whether or not it was a joke. That's Kelly, who's on the other line right now waiting to talk to you. Wait. Kelly's here? Yeah, Kelly and her

seven children. Say hi. Oh, did she give another one up for adoption? Are we down to six now? Yeah, ever since she heard that. Kelly, you there? Yeah, Steveve it's kelly i am i'm like fuming i'm so offended yeah because and you know what this is why now i realize why i had 16 unsuccessful dates last year it's because they were all like you steve like emotionally and intellectually stunted why are are you upset? Why are you so mad? Yeah.

Because, my God, Brooke, you are totally right. Steve, you suck at planning a date. Oh, my God, I'm so mad. I'm just trying to hype you up, not tear him down. Oh, no, look what happened. Listen, if you even had, like, an ounce of a sense of humor, like, you would get that I was obviously joking and i was for you to actually think that i was serious like oh my god like you must be a narcissist that you would think

i would meet you for 40 minutes and suddenly want to have your baby all right well all right okay i think we're i think we're going down a path we don't need to go down any farther you weren't happy with steve's response there steve are you there? Yeah, I'm still here. Barely, but I'm still here. Would you like to respond to any of the allegations just hurled against you? I thought you guys were all going to have a big laugh about how it was a miscommunication. Yeah, I was going to go, oh, you were kidding. Steve, bottom line, you planned a boring date, and now I'm paying the price for it.

Okay. That's like backfiring on you. Steve, do you see your date as being boring? Next time I'm not going to go for just the looks. I thought you were super cute. I ignored the fact that you were boring. I high-dropped too much! You created that.

What kind of radio show is this? You just trash dudes all morning? It depends on how many drinks Brooke has had for the day. I was just trying to make her feel better about you not calling her. And now, I don't know. I think that this was already happening and I didn't realize it. You know, you don't have to tear somebody else down just to try to make somebody else feel better. That's a good life lesson, Steve.

I agree with you, all right? I wasn't trying to tear you down. I don't know. I didn't know she'd be so mad. I didn't think you said anything wrong, Steve. Those are thoughts that should have happened before you said the terrible thing. Oh, my God. Me either.

I'm just being honest. Okay. Oh, wow. All right, let's everybody be honest with everybody. This is a good chance to have Steve admit that maybe he didn't plan the best first date. Yeah, he didn't. Okay. Okay, no, we know.

And maybe Kelly didn't make the best conversation trying to invent an entire family of eight 20 minutes into the conversation. Own that, Kelly. Own that. Well, I'm sorry that I was so bored that I had to use my freaking imagination.

Okay, that was an apology. I don't think it was. You could have imagined the kids in like a sweatshop or something instead. Don't put more thoughts out there. That wouldn't have been a red flag. Brooke's trying to get her business plan going again.

So Steve, if you're hearing what I'm hearing, then you probably see the same thing as me, which is potential for true love. And that's why we would be delighted to send you out on another date that we would pay for. Yeah. I don't know if we're on the same page. Messy sandwiches and all.

Put it on our tab. Okay. Adoption fees. Brooke is going to cover that. Yep. Sure. What do you say? No.

No, I'm not going out with her. I don't know what you're talking about. She went on 16 failed dates. Like what? Like this, this woman is a little out there for me. Only one blocked her though. It's about to be two. Okay.

I'm sorry, Kelly. Say goodbye to Steve forever. All right, Kelly. Someone will get your humor someday. No, it's okay, Brooke. You know, you're absolutely right. This guy knows nothing about planning, and he should absolutely own this. Oh, God.

You too, girls. You've ruined the hope for all women, Brooke. Congratulations. Not what I meant. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. That call was a great example of the power that Brooke's words have with our listeners. I don't know what went so wrong. I really don't.

I don't know how I went from trying to hype somebody up. I don't know. You weren't hyping anybody up, though. You were pushing the guy down to hype her up. I wasn't trying to. Because play it out. At the end of the first part, Brooke could have said, Okay, you guys did a sweet little date in a park out in nature.

He got you a meal. You guys spent time talking and getting to know each other. She was feeling self-conscious because she's like, this is a really hot guy and he's probably got tons of girls. And I'm like, nah, the guy doesn't even bring a Frisbee to a date. He doesn't know what he's doing. Yeah, you call the guy boring because he didn't book a midnight laser light show with free drugs or whatever types of dates that you're into. And look what happened. She immediately hopped on to Brooke's opinion, blew up into a tirade against every man who's ever let her down ever.

It's a good reminder that we, and when I say we, I mean you again, Brooke, that we need to stay open-minded. If it's not your ideal cup of tea first date idea, it doesn't mean other people can't enjoy it. I just was trying to make her feel better, Jeff. How many times do I have to tell you that? Don't. It's not worth it. Let other people feel sad sometimes. I've got to a fast food burger place with a BOGO coupon on a first date and still gone out with a guy again.

I don't care. Okay. That's not a guy again. I don't care. Okay. Let's go, Brad. Everybody lower your standards as low as Brooke's are and your dating life couldn't possibly be bad. What are you saying? We're just saying we can try and help you with your date life. Email the show if you ever need help. We'll call that person who isn't calling you back.

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. We're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you.

Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got,

and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How To Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. next biggest conference. Better Offline's CES coverage won't be the usual rundown of the hottest gadgets or biggest trends, but an unvarnished look at what the tech industry plans to sell or do to you in 2025.

I'll be joined by David Roth of Defector and the writer Edward Ongueso Jr. With guest appearances from Behind the Bastards Robert Evans, It Could Happen Here's Gare Davis,

and a few surprise guests throughout the show. Listen to Better Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts from.