Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Terrible Tarot

Episode Date: April 12, 2024

The guy in today’s Second Date clearly got his idea for a date from listening to our show, and we might owe him an apology, or at least some help trying to get another one! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Second Date Update. One thing that we've learned doing thousands of these phone calls is trying harder on a date doesn't guarantee you're going to get good results. No. Sometimes guarantees you'll get bad. Yeah.

That's right. Unfortunately. Sometimes trying is the key to failing yeah and that's what one of our listeners jimmy said happened the other night he tried and now he regrets ever doing jimmy welcome to brooke and jeffrey in the morning where dreams go to die how are you doing today say it again jeff we're putting it on our website. Jimmy, welcome, man. Thanks, thanks. Hopefully my dream doesn't die here. Give me a shot. I have faith in you, brother.

Yeah, I want to hear about your trying, Jimmy. Yeah, sounds like you went in with hopeful attitude on this date. Who did you try for? What's her name? Her name's Erica. She's really nice. She's super cute. What about her made you want to try? We just, a lot of the things

we were looking for happened to line up. I mean, obviously for me, it starts number one, like, am I attracted to you or not? So there was that. And then all this stuff just happened to match up. You want to be attracted to the people that you date? Weird. I know, I know. It's crazy. Okay. If that's the strategy you want to go with good luck wow so shallow yeah oh that's good okay so what you said you tried what does that mean what did you do that was above and beyond so i kind of blame you guys i listen to you guys and i hear all these stories about people like trying something different like oh we didn't just go to like dinner and a movie we did this weird thing we went like Do you ever listen to the end of those?

It probably turns us off after two minutes like most people. He's like, that sounds like a great idea. Do you realize why they're calling us? So what was your big creative idea for a date? Okay, so first off, we met at a food truck and I was like, I got a surprise for you.

So we walked a few blocks to a psychic. Oh. Oh. Did you know if she, I mean, some people have some real strong opinions about this type of stuff. Yeah, I guess so. I don't know.

I just thought it would be a fun thing. My friends had gone to them and they had a good time. Okay. I always want to walk in when I see those. I think that they're more expensive than I want to pay, though. But on a date, if he's paying, I'd go. What did the fortune teller do? Did they look in like a crystal ball or did they open up like a fortune cookie and read it to you?

No, no. It was a tarot card thing. It was a tarot card reading. Okay. A lot of my lady friends are really into that, too. Yeah, yeah. So I thought maybe it might be... So what was her attitude when you told her about the surprise?

She was surprised. She was smiling and thought it was going to be fun, I thought. But you say that... I had no reason to be concerned. You say that it didn't work out for you. What happened? Right. Well, okay.

So they, you know, reading the future. And, like, the big takeaway at the end was that Erica and I were going to be a really, really, really bad match. Backfired. Did Erica, what did she say? She left. She left? She just agreed with the psychic? It's hard not to believe those like a little.

Like, I don't. I mean, you know, sometimes those people also like sense something else that's going on. Are you allowed to ask why? Like, are you allowed to say why? Why aren't we a good match? Sounds good to me. I wasn't particularly interested in like her thinking. Did you offer to fight them?

No. I'm a great guy. I will beat you up right now. We're not a perfect match. So wait, Erica just like dashed out? No, no, no. She's not like, I'm leaving. She was like laughing and it was awkward and she's like, I gotta go

outside. And I was like, okay, but I'm gonna stay in here because I gotta, like, I'm just gonna try to get my money back, right? Oh, is that what you did? Get her refund on your fortune. Now it it's a it's a tarot card reading not a wingman situation you know I'm not on a date like we're there to have a good time and then like you're gonna give me that like you might as well say like oh no you better go home right now your dog's gonna die well it's what the card says yeah yeah like you needed to get the dishonest psychic down the road.

You're just too good. How much do I gotta pay you to tell this girl to sleep with me? Yeah, exactly. It's like you guys said. I was like, what is this? She was like, sorry, the cards don't lie. And I'm like, maybe you could make them lie for this? I mean, most people don't know tarot cards.

You could tell me anything and be like, oh, this is the Joker, but it's upside down. Well, they're always going like, this is the 13th moon of Geneva. It's like, I don't know what that means. Come on. It sounds like Erica was laughing. Like, it doesn't sound like she was actually upset. It sounds like she stormed out of the building. He said she was laughing.

She said, I'll meet you outside. Did you meet up with her after that? Yeah. She actually came back in to get me out of the building. No, she didn't. He said she was laughing. She said, I'll meet you outside. Did you meet up with her after that? Yeah. She actually came back in to get me out of there. Oh, so she was not happy. Oh, wait. So you were arguing with the psychic over money, and then Erica had to come back in and pull you out? Yeah.

Why are we worried about the card? That is way worse. See? See? This is what I'm saying. This guy is not cool. Yeah. I think that's your bad look.

And again, bad look doesn't mean you're a bad person, doesn't mean you don't match, but I can see why that image isn't good. So how did this date end? I mean, we had a drink, but it was super awkward, and then that was it, and it was over. You don't want to stick with the cards and just let this lie? No, no, I would love a second chance.

I would love that. Okay. Do you have any tarot cards? Should we make this a tarot card reading? Do you have any training in this? No, I just have some crystal balls that you got to rub. Oh, wait, no, those are different. Why are they crystal?

Why do you have two of them? Because we're rubbing them now before we call Erica. Let's just do the normal way. I'm sorry I asked. Okay. Yeah, please don't rub the crystal balls. We'll do it the old-fashioned. Give her a call.

See what she has to say. There you go. I predict it's going to turn out great. Yeah. Look at that. That's our psychic prediction. Positive energy. We're going to come back and do it with your second date update right after this.

Second date update right after this second date update you've probably been out on a first date where a total stranger comes up and just randomly says you two make such a cute couple oh yeah that is such a nice moment yeah and that happens sometimes but probably not a lot of daters have experienced somebody saying wow you two look like a terrible match. Even if a lot of people are thinking about it. Nobody actually says it. You're with them? I know Brooke's uncle said that to her once about her cousin because they looked too similar.

You're so dumb. I did not date my cousin. Because your uncle wouldn't allow it. And that was smart of him. But most of the time, you don't get the kiss of death via tarot card on the first day man unfortunately that's what happened with one of our listeners jimmy where the psychic literally looked at the cards and said oh this relationship is doomed oh man i mean it is a bad tone for the rest of the night yeah but we're coming in with a slightly more optimistic attitude when we call Erica for him here.

Jimmy, how are you feeling right now? I'm feeling all right. Let's see. Hopefully. Okay. Okay. You need to be more like, I don't know. I believe in my case.

There we go. You need to be more confident going into this. And Jeff was rubbing his crystal balls for you very extensively in between the break. He said it was going to help you. Yeah. What did you see in those? The outlook is good. Yeah. jimmy see all positive vibes brother something tells me that's not gonna help oh it helps trust me but uh let's just call and see if that helps too all right

we're gonna call erica let's do it Hello? Hey, we're looking for Erica. This is her. Hey, Erica. We're a morning radio show called Brooke and Jeffrey, and that means you're on the radio right now. Hey, Erica. I'm Jeffrey, by the way.

Oh, hi, everybody. Hi. Okay. Congratulations. Big feature spot on our show today. Is that what we're calling it? I don't know. Maybe congratulations isn't quite the right word.

It could be. But it might be. Yeah. If it turns out you are still interested in the guy you went out with the other night named Jimmy. What? I thought this was a prize giveaway. Well, it is.

And Jimmy is your prize. Yeah, nice one, Jeff. It's like a little teddy bear at the bottom of a claw machine. Get him! Okay, well, I'm gonna exchange that prize for something else. Oh, wow. What, for like what, like a keychain? Yikes. I don't know if we can do that. Why do you say

that, though? I mean, we know you're not calling Jimmy back after your date. We're trying to help him figure out why. Okay, so this is, oh my gosh, it was so crazy. I don't know what Jimmy told you guys. Oh. We'd love to hear your version of the night. Yeah. It was horrific.

Okay, so let me let me rewind yes please we went to a psychic to read our future oh yeah what did you think when he because he said that he surprised you with that a tarot card reading what was your initial thought on that i thought it was weird and strange i was like why are we gonna see a psychic but i was trying to be optimistic so i was like, why are we going to see a psychic? But I was trying to be optimistic, so I was like, well, let me go with the flow. Yeah. I think that was his whole goal, is he was just trying to do something new. Unique.

It wasn't something that he necessarily believes wholeheartedly in his soul. It's a risky activity to pick. True. Now we know that. Yeah, and it doesn't sound like it was something you were super comfortable with. Right. And it's crazy you said it was risky because when we got there,

like she was reading the cards and all of a sudden this one card came out and it was called like the three of wands. The swords. Three of swords. Three of swords. Three of swords? Yes, like three daggers through you or something like that. Is that good or bad?

Three swords sounds good to me. It was horrible. It was horrible? It was actually horrible. It meant like something about betrayal and heartbroken. Yikes. Oh, is that when the tarot card reader told you guys that you shouldn't be together? Yeah, she actually said we were going to be like really bad for each other.

But do you feel like maybe she was just a little bit jealous? She wanted to date with you. I honestly don't think she was jealous. I think she was actually pretty legit because when we first met, I got there, I was all cute, I was nice., I got there, I was all cute, I was nice, and I saw Jimmy, I was like, hi! And I'm thinking we're about to eat together,

but he said to me like, hey, I already ate, but you know, if you want something, you can go get in a line. Oh, were you talking about at the food truck? Yes. Wait! He said he took you to a food truck Meaning that you guys ate together

That was what we thought Well, he ate, but I didn't Oh my gosh So he ate before you? Before I even got there And you know, I really thought it was so rude That he told me to just go get in line And go buy my own food

Like on a first date yeah yes yeah but it also could be like a show of you're an independent woman no no no i respect your womanhood and you can support yourself no listen if you're gonna take me out on a date you're gonna feed me if i am not fed or at least wait in line with me. Yeah, seriously. That is super rude. Yeah, I can't deny that. Yeah, so I had this gut feeling, but the Torah reader, she pretty much confirmed it to me.

And even in there, it was like I just rushed out of there and I hear him still arguing with her about giving his money back. And I'm like, ugh. Plus you were hangry at the time, too. I mean, all of it. It doesn't help.

You don't know this, but I have a tarot deck out in front of me, and I just drew the three phone calls. Oh. Not the three microphones? No. Oh. No, I'm a pretty bad tarot reader. And one of the phones must be Jimmy on the other line wanting to talk to you

you're joking are you joking no i'm not joking jimmy are you there yeah i'm here wow jimmy it didn't sound good anything to say i mean the only thing i have to say is that i don't know what i did that was that bad I mean y'all go like oh the guy in the background's like ha ha ha and I'm like what just because I didn't buy her the food at the food truck well yeah exactly Jimmy why aren't you starting with I'm sorry you don't see why bro that that would be a little upsetting to anybody on a date like you ate without them upsetting what that's a really good food truck you should be happy do you got no manners oh my gosh you didn't want to wait 15 minutes for her to get there so you could eat together

it's not a restaurant guys it's a food truck oh you go in and go out whenever you want we want like a five-star restaurant but why wouldn't you order food for erica and have it like waiting there for her if it's like your favorite food truck and you're like, you got to try this, like just order it for her. Or if the line's long. Because I use all my super money on the psychic, okay? Oh. That does make sense. No wonder you wanted a refund.

Those psychics aren't cheap either. He did spend money on her. That doesn't matter. I invited her to dinner first. Okay, but I actually didn't even invite her to dinner. I was just like, let's meet at the food truck because that was a place I know. Oh. So it's on Erica.

It's on Erica that she didn't understand. Yeah, see, Erica, he's not rude. He's just poor. Obviously. Obviously, poor and bad manners. Yeah. When you tell me we're meeting at a food truck, I'm assuming that we're having dinner together. Yeah.

It's like, hey, meet me at Olive Garden at 7 o'clock. And then it's like, all right, where do you want to eat? What? I mean, I think that's a universal, like. All right, next time we go out then, can we meet 20 feet away from the food truck? I don't think that's how you solve your problem, my friend. Food truck adjacent?

It does seem like if it's 20 feet away, you don't have to eat. And I like how we started this whole thing about how Jimmy put in extra effort. Yeah, it's true. If you're willing to do that, Erica, then we would love to send you two out on a second date and pay for it. Absolutely not.

There would not be a second date. Oh, man. It sounds like Jimmy may still need the gift card, though, Jeff. Would you be giving it to him? I don't know if he even wants it anymore. You know what? I bet if I went to that psychic again, I bet she would pull a tarot card that tells me that I shouldn't have gone on that radio show because you guys have been no help at all. Oh, man.

I wish someone else was following me. Suddenly now you're on the psychic side? I thought you were here. Wait a minute. I told you, Jeff, it was the three microphones. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. All right. Well, obviously that guy was acting a little out of pocket, eating his dinner before his

date even got there and then telling her she's hungry, get in line and buy her own. Well, that's not apologizing after he heard it recapped to himself. Yeah, yeah. You know? That was pretty heartless. Yeah. But I don't know about the argument that if you ask to meet up near something, then it's assumed that must

be your date. He didn't say near. He said at the food truck. I think it's always assumed. Let's meet at the bowling alley. You're assuming you're going to go bowling. Yeah, or let's meet at the bar. We're going to get a drink, Jeff. Well, then I'm just glad that they didn't meet near a proctologist's office. Maybe I'm

disappointed that they didn't meet in front of the proctologist's office. Maybe I'm disappointed that they didn't meet in front of the proctologist's office. I can't decide how I feel about it. That'd be the best or the worst date. It'd be a good date, plus health matters. It'd be a clean date. It's a date that they're never going to go on because we didn't get

them a second date. But it just gave you an idea. It really did. I've got some reservations to book after this. Ladies, text in. Who needs a massage? If you ever need help with your dating life, you can always email that show.

Oh, man. Our show. That show? Yeah. That show that you like. It doesn't happen to you. You are thinking about something else right now.

I can't wait. All right. We'll help you. We'll help you call if that person is calling you back. Go check out our podcast wherever you get yours at Brooke and Jeffrey. All right. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to

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