Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: The Mystery of Bar 5

Episode Date: August 21, 2024

One of our listeners practically collapsed under the pressure of picking the perfect date spot. Even when the ideal place revealed itself, it actually backfired! Hear what happened in your Second Date podcast!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Second date update. Dear Brooke and Jeffrey. Oh. This is an email that we got, so I'm just going to read it for everybody real quick.

So formal. Cool. Dear Brooke and Jeffrey, I'm mad at you. Oh, no. I matched with a super cute girl the other day, and my date went horribly wrong, and it's all your fault. Why this time? The least you can do is help me fix it and get me a second date, signed, Jeremy. Is that who's on the phone with us right now?

The complainer? Okay, Brooke. Okay, well, I mean, he came in hard. I'm coming hard back. That was actually one of the nicer emails that we've gotten all week long. And I don't know any more detail than that. Don't open the ones for management. Yeah, so let's just talk to him really quick.

Jeremy, welcome to the show. Hey, thanks. Okay, and first, I would like to apologize for whatever misleading or ignorant thing Brooke said to purposely mess up your love life. We don't know if it was boring. She's going to deny it. Deep down, though, she is very sorry. I'm not sorry.

See, I told you. I told you she'd deny it. I mean, you're just coming at us so hard, Jeremy, telling us it's our fault your date went bad. Why do you say that? Why is it our fault? Because the sky is blue. Owls exist, you know?

Because it's just the reality of life. Can't argue with that type of logic. It is facts. We don't really help people at all. Who'd argue with that type of logic. It is facts. We don't really help people at all. Who'd you go out with? Dana. Dana. Dana.

Okay. Okay. And how did you meet Dana? Well, I mean, first of all, let me just say this. Okay. I listen to you guys all the time. Aw. Thank you, bro.

Okay, now we like you. That's all you had to say. We appreciate your sacrifice. Your sacrifice. And you guys are, I've always kind of taken what you said to heart and really listened. All right. Well, in our defense, that's your mistake. But keep going.

Sometimes we give decent advice. But I am being serious here. So you guys are always pushing this whole thing about do an activity, do something. Oh, okay. Don't do just a bar for a first date. Don't just be a bar date. It's so cliche. It's this and that. It's so boring.

And I took that to heart. And leading up to my date, all I could think about, I couldn't get it out of my head and I'm going crazy on what do we do. You're completely overthinking everything at this point but you are thinking about something and that's a good thing okay you've got to find a middle though yeah because you want to impress dana it sounds like going with the plan so what did you end up doing well let me tell you i guess my apartment and there's like a like a flyer okay it's this friday night bar golf. Bar golf? Yeah.

It's like it appeared to be interactive and unique, right? Even us dressed like golfers. Okay. That's cool. That sounds like a fun day doing mini golf inside of a bar. Correct. And so we meet. And I get there and it's not at all like the flyer suggested. What?

What? What was it? So it's packed, first of all. I mean, like, to the point of it's not even fun. Like, the bar, you know, is, like, five deep. Oh, yeah. And it doesn't actually, like, involve golf per se. It's more like a, almost like a bar crawl.

Like a bar number. And, like, each bar has its own special drink, right? So, like, bar one, you do you do like a shot of fireball uh-huh so that's like one like one point right oh that's a par one because it takes one sip to drink one it's a drinking game it's not a golf game and then like you know you have a beer's, you know, they have it mapped out to seven drink sips. Seven goals? Seven sips for one beer? That's fast.

You've got to space it. I mean, if you don't like it, you don't have to do it, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then you get a bad score. They're so competitive. These guys are so competitive. I'm going to black out before I lose this game. Look, guys, I know that you're laughing at this,

but this is and was not mini golf at a bar. It was get wasted. It's better than mini golf at a bar. I was so disappointed. And the way it was all set up, I got hammered so. Oh, you did it. Okay, well, why did you do it? Because I was there.

You know what I mean? Did she get hammered or was it just you wasted? I don't know you know what I mean? Oh, my God. You already bought tickets to it. Did she get hammered, or was it just you wasted? I don't know. I wish I knew. Oh. Did you just, like, wake up on another day? This is what I remember. I remember seeing her at bar four, okay?

Okay, this is good. Just seeing. Let's retrace the steps. And then at that point, I lost her. And the next thing I remember, I'm at bar five, and I'm literally crying, and some rando dude is consoling me. Oh, no. You went on to the next bar without your date?

But here's the deal. But the last thing I do remember, there she was, bar six. Wait, you kept going? Oh, dang. You reconnected with her. I just kind of grabbed her arm like, where were you? Oh, no. I feel like she went to the bathroom and you ditched her or something.

Or she ditched him. I mean, honestly. She's like, oh, you found me again. And I'm sorry, but I blame you guys. It's us. We did a fun event and we told you to do fun events, and we got them wasted. I agree.

I accept 100% responsibility for this big disaster. It falls on us. No, you accepted responsibility. That is ridiculous. You should be your grown man. We are a team, much like a bar golf team. All right? And we need to be there for our other team member, our listener, Jeremy.

Okay, I will, because that sucks, man. What Jeremy really wants is a mulligan, which is golf speak for a do-over. Oh, right. That's what it is. Jeremy, you need that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, see?

Confident. So here we go. We're going to try and get you a mulligan when we come back. We're going to call your date Dana for you and try and get you a second date update right after this. Second date update. Golf-themed bar crawl. Yeah. Awesome idea for a fun night out. Probably not a great idea, though, for a romantic first date.

Romantic, no. Or just even a romantic first date. Romantic, no. Or just even a conscious first date. I mean, I don't even know. Thing is, that's the activity Jeremy did on his date the other night with Dana, and it didn't go well. Oh, he golfed hard. Which is 100% our fault. Yeah. Because we're always telling people it's good to be thoughtful and creative with your date night ideas.

Don't just do a regular old restaurant or a bar and expect things to go amazing. Yeah, do eight bars and take multiple shots at each one. Now we're talking. Jeremy took our advice to heart when he saw a flyer advertising this golf bar event. And what happened? Got so shmammered, he lost his date that night. Oh, darn it. But then found her and then lost her again.

Yeah. As much as you can remember. Not quite the night that he visualized in his mind, but we're hoping to make things right, fix our own mistakes, and reconnect Jeremy with Dana on a much better, much more boring date night. Isn't that right, Brooke? More boring?

More boring is probably good for him. Jeremy? Yeah? We didn't ask you. Have you texted or called to apologize for... I don't know why he would do that. We're the ones who are calling to apologize. Have we texted Jeff?

Yeah, I've texted a couple times. Like, hey, I would just like to talk. Please give me a call kind of thing. Yeah, nobody wants to hear a let's talk. Yeah, that's what my mom says when she has something to tell me. It's never a good message. No. But here's the thing.

Maybe she doesn't even remember what happened that night. The same way that Jeremy does. And we're going to call her right now and find out. What if she's embarrassed? Like, oh, no. That would be ideal. That would be the perfect thing to happen. It would be ideal.

I doubt that that's the case, but it would be ideal. We're hoping. Here we go. I'm going to dial her number right now. Hello? Hi. I'm hoping that this is Dana. Yes, this is she.

Hey. Hey, Dana. Sorry for the awkward call that's about to happen right now, but you're on the radio with a show called Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Hi, Dana. Hi, good morning. Okay. You know I'm weird, sorry. And we shouldn't even apologize.

We should be like congratulations on being on this segment called A Second Date Update because there's a listener of ours who is desperate to go on a date with you. Yeah, you're wanted. Desperate was a strong word. Who's very excited to see you again for another date night. Sorry for the D word. She's not talking.

Did you say Jeremy? Yeah. I didn't say Jeremy. Oh, you didn't say his name. No. Oh, you're right. But it is Jeremy. You knew it.

Well, he's the only guy I've been out with for the past month or so. Oh, okay. That's easy then. What kind of impression did Jeremy leave? Good question. Oh, gosh. I mean, I don't even – how can I even articulate what that was like? Well, before you give us your recap, he did tell us a little bit about your guys' date from the other night.

He thought that you were going to go to a mini golf event in a bar. Yeah, where you'd play a little golf, drink a little beer. But it turned out different than what he expected, and it was just a bar crawl with a golf-themed scoring to it. Sounds fun. It sounds fun, but

very, very... Intoxicating. Yeah, dangerous. Yeah, you know, he got really competitive with it. You're saying he's a man. Oh, God. Naturally. The crowd was really hyping him up, too.

You know, they were chanting, Birdie, birdie. So that he would drink his drinks faster. What's a birdie again? It's one under par? One drink under par. So people were chanting him, encouraging him to drink faster, essentially. And you weren't chanting birdie at him?

Because that's what a supportive person would do. That's true. I mean, he was just starting to get sloppy. I was just growing very tired of the whole thing by that point. What about you? Did you pace yourself? I'm curious about what happened between bar four and bar six. Oh, gosh.

He said he lost you at bar four and never even saw you at the next bar. That's not how I remember it because I know at one point I was hanging out with other people because I was just over it. And I saw him and was purposely avoiding him. Yeah, because he was just so wasted. What bar was that? I mean, that was whichever one where he was crying. Oh, you saw that. That was the fifth bar.

Fifth one, maybe? Yeah, that's what he said. He said he was crying to some guy because he thought he lost you and he was upset. And then he said he was able to find you again, though, at the next bar, bar six. And he saw you and he ran up to you and was like, where were you? Yeah, no, I mean, he must have seen somebody that was dressed kind of similar to me because that definitely was not me. He went to a stranger and shook him and was like, hey, where were you?

Wait, you weren at Bar 6? No, I had left by then. I was done. What? That's hilarious. Who was he shaking? Believe me, it was not me because I distinctly remember getting an Uber, like, in the middle of the fifth bar. Oh.

Oh, God. Maybe it's for the best you didn't see him like that. Oh, man. Yeah, that's a different version of the story than we heard slightly. How did this get more embarrassing? Well, we should probably ask Jeremy about that because he is on the other line right now listening, Dana, and wanting to talk to you. Can you listen to this whole thing? Yeah, that's how this segment works.

He needed to hear it. I'm sure he didn't remember it. Jeremy, you there? Yeah, I'm here. Hey, Dana. Hey, this is so awkward. I know. I am so sorry. I want to make sure that

I have a clean slate here. The reason that I wanted you on this show is because this is their fault a hundred percent oh that's right a hundred percent and i felt victim to it and victim to it i don't think she knows what you're saying i don't think she even listens to the show why are you saying that it's our fault jeremy tell her so. So, okay, I listen to the show all the time, and I'm always encouraging people like,

hey, when you go on a date, your first date or whatever, don't do something cliche. Don't just go to a bar. Don't go to a restaurant. Do something cool. Do something unique. Whatever, blah, blah, blah. And so, you know, I'm nervous as it is to meet you,

and I've got this garbage in my head now from them. It is garbage. And so that's why that happened. Otherwise, I would have made that decision and I am sorry, but it's their fault. And by the way, they admitted it before you got on the phone. Yeah, we did admit it, Jeff. Dana, how does that make you feel?

What do you think hearing that? We are sorry. Some people are just really impressionable. It kind of makes sense to me Especially when it comes to dating Like you look to other people For advice So

You know He was doing Exactly Exactly It sounds like I mean He's just maybe a victim Of a lot of peer pressure

Right He was pressured Into this date idea He was pressured To drink all of that By the crowd Yeah I don't know if that's

A sexy thing, but... He's very impressionable. I mean, Jeremy, you've blamed us for pretty much everything that went wrong on your date night. Is there anything else you want from us? What I really want is for Brooke to apologize to you directly. Me? Right now. Dana, I don't know if you know this, but Brooke has actually already apologized to Jeremy earlier.

I have not. She did. That is not true. And I think she is ready to apologize to you right now. We're going to back up. What a big person. And Brooke, go ahead. Remember, Brooke, remember.

This is not about you right now. This is about our listener, Jeremy, and his dating life. It's not about how you come off looking during this phone call. I think you need to remind yourself you're insulting his date ideas without ever knowing them. So Brooke, come on. Brooke, with all due respect, all you're illustrating to me are the ramifications of me following your advice. So try not to be selfish here for a moment. Just apologize to Dana. You know what? He is right. I am very sorry that you went out with a man who can't think for himself, but I think he's going to change. Trust his intuition,

trust his gut and go with what he thinks is best. He might not listen to us ever again. Well, now with that sort of apology, it's out of our hands. It's as good as I got. And we're going to ask you, Dana,

would you like to go out with Jeremy one more time? A date that we would pay for, but have zero other influence in other than that. I mean, as long as it's a more traditional date, no shots, no competition, I would be willing to give it one more try. All right. Jeremy, that's awesome. It ended on a really good note. Yay. I'm going to thank everyone involved. And Dana, thank you. I'll make it worth your while. We'll have a good time, I promise. Even Brooke gets a thing. Sounds good.

Now, the one person I'm not going to, actually, I'm going to exclude from this apology is Brooke. Yeah. Jeremy, I helped you get another date, my man. Yeah. Brooke, I'm kind of busy right now. I'm planning my next activity. Thank you. another date, my man. Yeah. Brooke, I'm kind of busy right now. I'm planning my next activity. Thank you. Thank you, Brooke.

He's doing a bar frisbee next time. Oh. It's going to be way better. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. You know what we totally missed there? What? What, Jeff? He was so hellbent on blaming us for the horrible night that he had.

Yeah, why weren't you standing up for me ever? It was more funny. I'm on the side of entertaining. The thing is, he totally glazed over the mystery girl that he was, like, talking to at bar number six that wasn't his date. We never even got to it.

Dude, he doesn't remember. I know. I guarantee that mystery girl wanted nothing to do with him as well. That's what I'm saying. She was probably freaking out. Like, who is this drunk guy acting like we're out on a date right now? I cannot believe he got another shot after that. Yeah. Not only after that, but also after not taking any responsibility for it. See?

That's the power of an apology, Brooke. You should try it outside of the show sometime. He didn't apologize. No, you did. Oh, it was mine? Yeah, your apology can fix the world. Mine was so, so real.

So sincere. Even a fake apology goes a long, long way. It's a fake it till you make it situation. Never forget that. And never forget that if you ever need help

with your dating life, you can always email the show. We'll call that person who isn't calling you back. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show, ears edition podcast.

Join late night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.