Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: To Cheat Or Not To Cheat

Episode Date: October 7, 2021

One of our listeners met an incredible woman 5 years ago, and only now is he finally ready to reach out. Why did he wait so long and did he miss his chance?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hi, I'm Ed Zitron, host of the Better Offline podcast. And this January, we're going to go on the road to beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada, to cover the Consumer Electronics Show, tech's biggest conference. Better Offline CES coverage won't be the usual rundown of the hottest gadgets or biggest trends, but an unvarnished look at what the tech industry plans to sell or do to you in 2025.

I'll be joined by David Roth of Defector and the writer Edward Ongueso Jr. With guest appearances from Behind the Bastards Robert Evans, It Could Happen Here's Gare Davis, and a few surprise guests throughout the show. Listen to Better Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts from. Life has shown me that people can change a lot in a short period of time. Yeah. I mean, I remember back when I first started working here, I used to be an upbeat, bubbly person with big hopes. Oh, yeah. Even bigger biceps. Yeah. I wish I got to see an upbeat, bubbly person with big hopes and even bigger biceps.

Yeah. I wish I got to see that, Jeffrey. He was really built at one point. But fast forward to today, I'm a hollow shell of a man with a damaged heart and arms the size of raisinets. And why am I telling you all this? Because a lot can happen in just five years and one of our listeners says he went on a date with someone that long ago and is now finally reaching out to us for help yeah he's playing the long game i see yeah they got hard to get you know mike you could have contacted us earlier yeah looking back on it i probably should have but i was a little tied up i see it says here

in your email you currently work in insurance, but back when you met this young lady, you were a budding actor. Is that right? Yeah, I was doing acting for a while, and then life happened, and I kind of had to get the nine-to-five going, so I went down that road.

By life, you mean bills happen, and you actually have to pay them. Yeah. I get it. It all takes time. Yeah, exactly right. Wait, who is this woman? Well, her name's April,

and I haven't talked to her in five years. Wow. Okay, and how did you meet her? Well, so she was an actor as well, and we were in a Shakespearean play together. Oh, that's cool. That's romantic. You're like a real actor, like a play actor. And it's either like you made out on stage or you killed each other on stage. Which one was it?

Well, fortunately, we got to kiss a little bit. All right. I didn't have to kill it. Okay. This is like a, I mean, this is the tale as old as time with the actors that work together on a movie or on a play. And before you know it, they're in love. Yeah, the on-screen chemistry goes off-screen. That's right.

Is that what happened? Yeah, well, you know, like, there's a lot of romance going on in those plays. You get really into it when you're acting, especially in a Shakespearean play. So, like, we just really connected, I thought, on stage, but then it may sound cliche, like you said, but it was offstage as well.

So did you guys actually go on a date, or was that your time with her was doing the play? That was a time with her doing the play and I had things going on outside of the play so I was pretty busy outside of that but after the final show, you know, it just, we're real excited and things like that

and it turned into a long date that night. Oh, okay. A cast party and a show. What do they call that when you wrap up a production i think it's called a rap party rap party that's it yep good name for it yeah some sort of party those actors large vocabulary all right so what happened with when you uh hung out with you said her name was april yeah what happened happened with you and April that night?

We walked around the city a bit. We popped into a museum. And that starts to put love in the air a bit more. All very cultured of you. Yeah, I was going to say, you guys are like Shakespearean actors going to museums. Like, what the heck? I don't know. He listens to our show. Things have really gone downhill for you.

That's cool, though. How was the art museum? It was great. You know, like in a location like that, you get a lot of time to talk and chat and sneak around the corners, kiss a little bit. You know, we were still in the zone. So what happened after the museum makeout? Well, we both live in a place where we have to take the subway. So we were going to hop on the subway.

And so we got down to the platform and it came we popped in and then oh this is where this is where it's tough it's uh oh no i looked at her and i just said i'm really sorry i can't do this what and i stepped out but you just left her inside the subway car by yourself? Yeah. Alone at night after a date? I mean, I know the lighting is terrible at those things. But, like, she couldn't have looked that bad.

Were you acting? No. Like, it's almost like a scene from a movie. I get it. The last thing I saw was her, like, going away on the train, just looking a bit shocked. Yeah. I would have been like like what the just happened julian montague i will see you in another lifetime

well and so here's the thing i was engaged at the time and she didn't realize that she didn't know no just we got caught up in the acting thing and i kind of felt myself drawn to her, and so I didn't really bring everything up about yourself. Oh, let me guess. It didn't work out with the fiancé. Shocking. Well, it did, and then it didn't.

So I ended up getting married. What? Oh, my God. Why? We were married for four and a half years, and so here's where we're at is i'm now divorced and i'm hoping that maybe i can get in touch or you can help me get in touch with april again because it's been killing me like i'm not gonna say it ended my marriage but like i'm not gonna say it wasn't something that was on my mind a lot you know you mean cheating on your fiance before you got married i mean

like it's hard right now to be on your side. Yeah, it's like, because it's romantic. It is. You can't fight love and you still never forgot about her.

But he's single now. And sometimes you can't help like who you're falling for. And it's not like they were married and they just kissed. But you can help making out with other people while you're engaged

to someone. That piece you can't help. Part of it was acting. Part of the making out was just on stage, and then it slipped out onto the real world. I mean, April has to know that you got married and that you were cheating on your fiancé with her. I mean, there's social media. There's no way she didn't see it.

That's very possible that she saw it, but we have not communicated, and she never reached out, and I never reached out. And, like, hey, I'm not saying I'm in the right. I'm, like, the anti-hero in this story. Like, I have my flaws. Hey, I admit to being wrong. But it happened.

Yeah, and a life is messy. Let's go get your girl. Okay, well, let's see if we can have a happy ending to the second date update. We're going to play us. No, no, no. Not just a normal Shakespearean happy ending. That's all I'm trying to say. No, just a second date.

Move forward. We're going to play a song. We're going to come back. We'll call April for you and we'll try and get you your second date update, alright? Alright, hold on, man. But soft, what light through yonder window breaks. It is the D train northbound.

That is definitely the D train. April is the confused lady I left on it. If you're just tuning in, one of our listeners, Mike, met a girl named April five years ago while they were acting in a Shakespearean play together. And soon their onstage chemistry turned into offstage chemistry on one romantic evening. But that night ended with him vaguely saying, I'm sorry, I can't do this, before leaving her standing on a subway train as it pulled away. And the reason why he did that is because, turns out, he was engaged at the time, and he felt guilty. So he called it off, and now five years later, Mike is hoping to finally reconnect with April and see if there's any possibility of rekindling what they had all those years ago. Now, Mike, I've been thinking about this during the break. And if we can get April on the phone, we can definitely talk to her about that night. But I really think you should be the one who explains to her what happened and why you left if she hasn't figured it out already what do you think yeah i need to face it i did it yeah yeah i mean i would

maybe speak more eloquently than that but i mean you talk to us from the heart and i think that that's all you have to do and it could be that we get april on the phone and she's married happily and doesn't want to talk to you at all so yeah that's a possibility real actors cheat all the time so you're good that's how you make it all right man you ready to do this no like you guys mentioned she might be married and stuff now i'm like really nervous that never crossed your mind before i do not understand men i'm gonna dial her phone number right now here we go okay hello hi i'm looking for april this is she hi april my name is jeffrey from the radio show brooke and jeffrey in. How you doing? What is this in regards to?

How do I even explain this? It's a lot. Yeah. This is going to be a lot, April. I hope you're not too busy right now because we have something that we would like to do with you called a second date update. Have you ever heard of that before?

No, this is really interesting. Okay. I wasn't expecting this at all. Okay. So the reason why we're calling This is really interesting. Okay. I wasn't expecting this at all. Okay. Okay. So the reason why we're calling is because we recently got an email into our show from a guy who says he went out on a date with you about five years ago. His name's Mike. You may know him as Romeo.

Well, you're Romeo. He wasn't Romeo. I'm not sure. I may have messed that up. I'm sorry. Guys, I think that she needs to sit down. Yeah. So Mike says that he met you a long time ago when you were both acting in a play together.

Yeah. I know exactly who you're talking about. Good. Okay. Wait, are you okay? Yeah, I'm okay. It's just so random. Like, it's been a long time.

Okay. Okay. Yeah. And he understands that Mike told us a little bit about your relationship together, about kind of connecting when you were working together in the play and how it kind of went off stage one night and you guys had a romantic evening together. Do you remember that? I remember that. So what did he tell you about it exactly oh oh yeah okay i mean well he had very nice things to say about you and said you guys had

a great time together checking out an art museum you made out a few times even and chemistry you walked around the city okay okay and then he does admit the night ended a little bit awkwardly down in the bowels of the subway station i don't know why that word came to my mind yeah it did actually it did so i'm really interested to hear what he had to say about that oh like the actual goodbye no like why in the heck would he do that you mean leave you yeah I mean any of it was the strangest thing I mean in that moment like what were you thinking I don't even know what to think honestly I was so excited. I liked him. And he just like bounces.

And I never hear from him again. So I was hurt. I was like really hurt. Not a good feeling. And I think part of the reason that he reached out to us to get a hold of you is because he feels guilty about how it played out. Yeah. I'm sure he feels guilty. And so here's the deal, April.

I would love to tell you why Mike did what he did and the whole backstory behind it. But I think it would sound a lot better if it actually came from him. Okay. And the thing is, I can make that happen right now because I need to let you know, Mike is on the other line listening and he wants to talk to you right now. Oh, my God. Oh, my heart is beating for you. Mike is on the other line listening, and he wants to talk to you right now. Uh-oh. Oh, my God. Oh, my heart is beating for you.

Yeah. Mike, stage left. I'm here. Hi, everybody. Hi, April. Hey. So what's up? Well, a lot.

You know, we're going to start with this. Like, I hope you've been well i know this is weird talking after all this time and kind of how everything went down and everything i just it's been eating at me for a while um because i was having a great time like i heard you just say that like you liked me and i liked you and then the problem is that I had someone else in my life and I made a commitment to them like I was engaged and so when this all just happened so fast it was like in that I had that moment of clarity and I just I reacted and I know it wasn't the best way to do it I know it's like why didn't why didn't you just tell me that you were engaged?

Right. Well, cause I was, I think I was falling for you a bit and it just all kind of hit me like a ton of bricks and I just had to step out of it. Yeah. And Mike's defense, when you're making out with a girl, it usually doesn't go well when you say, oh, by the way, I'm engaged. Dude, they did a whole play together. He had plenty of opportunity to bring it up.

I mean, April, how are you feeling right now? Dude, they did a whole play together. He had plenty of opportunity to bring it up. I mean, April, how are you feeling right now? My heart is pounding because I have thought about him since it's happened. And it took me a half a year until I could get back on that train. And this like really affected me. But could i mean not to keep defending mike here but you could understand when you're in the situation where you have these conflicting emotions going on and he really likes you but he also has this fiance he just didn't know what to do or what to say he didn't know how to say it to you could you understand being in a situation like that? Yeah, I mean, I can understand, but, like, I was dating somebody at that time.

Oh. Wait, what? What? You were also in a relationship when that was going on? Yeah, I was in a relationship, but I wasn't engaged or anything like that. Like, I was just in a relationship. Oh. Hold on.

That just makes it so much better. Wait, what kind of relationship? I had a boyfriend, and we were together for, like, three years. Oh, a long-term boyfriend. Like a live-in boyfriend? Yeah. Yes, it was a live-in boyfriend, but it was... Wait, you had a boyfriend you lived with?

Yeah, I did, but I wasn't engaged to him. Well, yeah, but, like, you lived with him. I'm just, now I'm a little shocked. I'm really confused. Why did it take you six months to get over this when you were... She was still dating him. I mean, weren't you actually kind of grateful that he just left because then you don't have the guilt and the drama yourself?

No, I totally get what you're saying. But, like, I really liked Mike. And I would have thought about leaving my boyfriend for him at that time. You guys are kind of perfect. Yeah. You both like double dipping. So neither one of you were single at that moment. Both fell for each other.

You won't have a healthy relationship, but it'll be good. Wait. But I said something. I stepped out, you know? No, you don't get to take a moral high ground here, Mike. In a weird way, he did. I know. I'm sorry, but he literally was like, look, I went too far, I kissed her, I gotta back off. It's awful. She just would have kept

cheating on her boyfriend until he made the first move. He stopped it. No, they're both terrible. Yeah, I mean, both options are awful. Like, you don't explain it to her, and then you leave, and you assume she's single. I mean, like, here's my question. Are you both single right now? Because I feel like we really need to double check on this one.

That's a good point, Brooke. Mike, are you single? Yeah, I'm single now. Okay, got it. April, how about you? You single? I'm pretty much single. What?

Whoa, wait a minute. What does that mean? That means there's some guy out there who doesn't think he's single. April. It's complicated. I don't know what you want me to say. I can still date other people. Yeah, sure.

Up until the wedding next week, you're unattached. Love is messy, guys. Well, I mean. Are you both still interested in this? It sounds like they are. And that's why I think this is the right time to ask April. Hey, I'll save you guys the time. Like, I have this romanticized thing in my head.

And then to find out she's been cheating at the time. I'm a little offended by that, actually. You were cheating, Mike. You both were cheating. I may be a bad person, and I may have done bad things, but what she did is worse than what I did. Whatever you need to tell yourself.

No, that was a Shakespeare quote. That was Shakespeare right there. Sorry, yeah, that was part of to be or not to be. To be or not to be. That is 100% not true, and you're stupid because I would have gone out with you again. I think that's Shakespeare, too. Oh, their chemistry's back. Macbeth.

I want to see this play now. He really has a way with words. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's

because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Ed Zitron, host of the Better Offline podcast.

And this January, we're going to go on the road to beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada to cover the Consumer Electronics Show, tech's biggest conference. Better Offline CES coverage won't be the usual rundown of the hottest gadgets or biggest trends, but an unvarnished look at what the tech industry plans to sell or do to you in 2025. I'll be joined by David Roth at Defector and the writer Edward Ongueso Jr. With guest appearances from Behind the Bastards, Robert Evans, It Could Happen Here's Gare Davis,

and a few surprise guests throughout the show. Listen to Better Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts from.