Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Trial By Separation

Episode Date: December 14, 2022

The guy in today’s Second Date has been off the market for a decade and after his first date back in the game he’s getting left on read.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else.

Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Tomer Cohen, LinkedIn's Chief Product Officer. If you're just as curious as I am about the way things are built, then tune in to my podcast, Building One. I speak with some of the best product builders out there. I've always been inspired by frustration. It came back to my own personal pinpoint.

So we had to go out to farmers and convince them. Following that curiosity is a superpower. You have to be obsessed with the human condition. Listen to Building One on the iHeartRadio app, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. Second date update.

When you date online, some people connect over shared interests or hobbies. Other people connect over shared interests or hobbies. Other people connect because they're both freaking hot. But one of our listeners, Thomas, says he connected with a woman online over their joint sadness. Oh. Or something like that. I feel like this is how I'm going to meet my wife.

Let's talk to Thomas. Thomas, did you meet her on tiermatch.com? Is that a thing? Or was it the Kleenex Club? Which one was it? Oh, that's cute. Well, that could go wrong. I'm not getting paid by any of the services I use.

I'm not going to give any free advertising, but we did meet online. Okay. What's this sadness you speak of, my friend? Well, you know how you can put, like, whether you're single or divorced, there's an option where you can put like whether you're single or divorced uh there's an option where you can put separated and so i always thought i would be honest since the divorce isn't finalized or anything so i listed my status as separated oh okay why wouldn't you normally do that well i would normally tell the truth that's what i do but i think sometimes people don't want to scare somebody off you know yeah i think it'd be a turn off. People are in the middle of something really messy.

You just don't want to even swipe on them. It's like on Facebook when they're single and people sometimes put, it's complicated. Why would you do that? You're obviously involved with somebody. But some people think that's a turn on. They're like, ooh, a disaster? I want it. Not the people you usually want to date, Jeff.

Well, I don't know. He says that he matched with somebody that was separated too, it sounds like. Yes, her name is Cecilia. And she also had separated on her profile. Okay. Yeah, she had a very nice smile. She had big curly hair. I'm a sucker for a big, you know.

Didn't think that was coming, but awesome. Okay, no, that's good. The hair is also a very good feature i mean that's it's a good start though i'm going to change the subject real quick it's a good start that you guys are going through i mean i don't know how similar it is but a similar life experience so you're coming in with with understanding and you probably don't feel like you have to explain a lot right sure well i mean that's kind of like prefaces into why I'm calling y'all. We went on a date, and this was my first, first date since the, you know, well, my ex-wife.

Yeah, and she's met a couple guys for, like, coffee or something super casual. So we, you know, we went and got a bite to eat. Okay, wait, what were you feeling? Like, slow down, because this is the first date out of your marriage. Let me guess. Hold on. I'm a psychic. You were nervous. No, he could have been feeling excited. Hold on. Let the psychic do his work for us.

Let's see if Psychic Jose is worth the money. Tell us. Yeah, I went all out, you know. I got dressed in the nines like Jim Carey in Dumb and Dumber, a tuxedo, you know. Okay, that doesn't sound nervous to me. No, you're joking, right? No, of course, of course.

Yes, I knew it, I knew it. You never know. You've been out of the dating game for a minute. Maybe you just didn't read the room right anymore. Well, I mean, I thought it was positive that, you know, I got a first date out of messaging someone over the internet. So, I mean, that was, you know, I thought that was pretty cool. Yeah, you know, good start. Yeah, well, how did it go when you showed up I mean, that was, you know, I might, I thought that was pretty cool. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, how did it go when you showed up? Like how was, how was Celia? Yeah. What was the vibe? You know, aside from the usual kind of laughs and jokes, you crack, the thing that we definitely bonded over, I would say like 50% of the date was our situation that led us to being separated on, you know, both of us kind of talking about our personal life, you know? But that's good. That's good because normally if you're on a date with someone who's just single, they won't relate and you wouldn't dare bring it up, you know,

because you don't want to hear about it. But if you're both going through it, it's like, no, please, I need someone to talk to about this. I guess that is key. You both have it in common so you can bond over it. Yeah. Is that how it went? Yeah.

I mean, there definitely wasn't a pity party, but it was bonding. Yeah. How many shots of tequila do you need in order to get through that conversation? It's only like, I don't know, maybe one, two margaritas, maybe. Okay. That's good. So, I mean, were you able to flirt, too, though? Because if you're talking a lot about, you know, your exes and things.

I mean, we didn't. I mean, no one stayed the night at anybody's house or anything like that. But like I said, I cracked some jokes. You know, I got some genuine laughs. So, you know, I count that as flirting. Okay. Why do you want to call her back? I mean, maybe this was just your practice date, right?

Before you got a lot of, I'm'm guessing time to make up for right now yeah well yeah why aren't you sleeping with everybody around town why are you sticking to one person why limit yourself i'm just saying like why why her like it's your first date so the first date i thought went well so i okay i'm figuring that you know i might as well before i go uh fish in the sea as it is i might as well, before I go fishing the sea as it is, I might as well make sure this one's off the hook. Got to cut the line. That was a lot of references.

That was a lot of metaphors in that one. And it doesn't matter the size of your worm, by the way. Women love all baits. We didn't go to that. I'm just saying, bro. That's not true. Well, yeah, let's get back to the date. How did the night end? You know, like I said, no, we stayed at everybody's house.

There was no making out or anything like that. A hug yeah yeah yeah there was a hug but one thing that i think is kind of um concern that i would say is she had mentioned that the reason of her separation was there was cheating involved and i could see how she did not want to put out any kind of vulnerability like you know to get herself for like like i'm trying to be a player which i'm not you know like i'm not trying to be my intention was to get over and go on a second date and did you guys make any like future plans i always think that's a good sign on a date yeah well we didn't nail i mean we didn't nail down like hey let's go miniature golfing you know, we didn't nail I mean, we didn't nail down. It was like, hey, let's go miniature golfing, you know, tomorrow. We didn't do anything like that. It was

like a hug at the end of the night, and it was like, make sure you get home safe, and then I'll see what you want to do. So how was the hug? Was it like a quick hug, or was it like a sensual, long she-smelled-your-hair kind of like... You don't have to answer that if you don't want to. I think you should smell people's hair on the first

date ever. It was just a nice hug, right? you don't want to. I think you should smell people's hair on the first date ever. It was just a nice hug, right? Yeah, I think it was a very standard end of the night. You didn't, like, rub your hands up and down her back. No more details needed. I think we're just going to play a song. We'll come back.

We'll call Celia for you and try and get you a second date update, all right? Thank you. All right, hold on, then. Jeff, give me a hug. Okay. Second date update, alright? Thank you. Alright, hold on then. Jeff, give me a hug. Second date update. Ah, stepping back on the dating scene after going through a failed marriage.

Wow, that just... I'm just saying, things are probably different than the first time around. I hope this is not what you tell your friends if they ever call you and say that their marriage is ending. I'm just trying to paint the scene like the people are older the drinks hit you harder that's true and the hugs are standard nothing more nothing less

no one's smelling anybody's hair or rubbing backs well that's what happened with one of our listeners thomas who's currently going through a separation himself. And so was his date, Celia. So naturally, they talked a lot about their situations and they were very open and vulnerable with each other, which Thomas took as a good sign. But now Celia's not responding to him, which Thomas is taking as a bad sign. That's a good way to do it.

Dating hasn't changed in that sense. Something's never change. But Thomas, how you feeling, man? You guys gave it quite the lead up. Sorry, Jeff gets a little happy. I'm second guessing myself now. Oh no. We can keep that music going the whole time.

It helps. Do you know what we never asked you is, have you tried to get a hold of her? I reached out to her, yes, but I did not receive any communication back. Okay. I mean, I'm calling up you guys because I feel like it went well, so I'm trying to figure out what I do wrong. Just brace yourself here because you're new to dating.

You may hear some things you don't want to hear that doesn't mean that you're not good at it. Okay. And as Brooke would say, there's a whole city of people to sleep with and you should that is actually exactly what i would condone all right so let's give celia a call we'll see if she answers and what she has to say let's do this here we go hello is this Celia? Yes. Sorry, I was really excited there. Hi, Celia. I wasn't sure if you were going to answer.

Hey, we're Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning from the radio. Hey. Cool. Now she's not answering. Give her a second to process. This is probably a lot, right, Celia? I don't know. Who is this? so we're a morning radio show uh we're called brooke and jeffrey in the morning and we're hoping that you'll be a part

of a segment with us here called the second date update oh no thank you that's okay no no no no celia it's not a bad thing we're actually calling on behalf of one of our listeners who you went out on a date with a very hot date sounded like his name's thomas oh yeah okay oh that didn't sound good thomas i think is clueless because that was not a good response about thomas i mean like we had a really nice dinner, and I was hopeful. That's good. But we kind of got into a personal conversation about our situations, our separations, our marriages, and that sort of thing. Yeah, he told us that, too. And it was a big red flag for me that kind of popped up. Wait, are you saying just you guys discussing the marital situations was a red flag or something specifically about the conversation?

Yeah, it was more specific. It was like I told him, like, basically my situation ended because of cheating. And I was the cheater. I was unfaithful. Oh, you were the cheater oh no oh interesting so he he didn't share a lot of your your story at all he just said that there was like that's why your marriage ended he did we just assumed that it was your ex okay but okay that's fine well it's not fine it is what it is but what was the red flag about that well for me

the red flag was like he acted really weird like it was just normal and he was understanding and like trying to make excuses for me and i'm thinking this guy's kind of weak what what do you mean he was making excuses for you like oh well i guess he wasn't paying you attention or you know he wanted him to be mean to you instead or like not the first time it's more like i just laid what i had out there on the table and his reaction was just a little too normal for me like i told him the real like listen i cheated and he was just like oh that's okay okay well maybe he cheated in his relationship too i mean or he's just awkward and doesn't know what to say there because he doesn't want to insult his date he liked you well like what

did you want to hear from him what would have been a good response in your mind i wanted him to be disgusted by it because i think it's really horrible what I did. Yeah, that was my reaction. Maybe he was like inside. I'm sure he felt that way, but he didn't want to say to you on a first date, ew, you disgust me. Plus relationships are like really complicated

and you know, sometimes it's not. She doesn't want to hear excuses from you. I'm just saying, maybe he's just being an understanding person and trying to be empathetic to what you are going through. Sounds like maybe you should go out with him. You guys are both understanding. Yeah, Brooke totally understands.

She encourages it. If you're playing the statistics, chances are she already has. No, I'm not cheating. All I'm saying is, like, this guy, like, he doesn't attack you for being really vulnerable and really honest. Because that's probably a hard thing to share with people, I would imagine. That's true. You're not listening to me.

I deserved it. Like, he didn't even question anything. Okay. I see what you're saying. Like, he's siding with the person who cheated rather than siding with the person who got cheated on. Yeah. Not even questioning it. Like. Yeah even questioning it.

Got you. Maybe he could yell at you now. Yeah, because this would be a great chance for him to lay into you because he's actually on the other line listening. No, actually, I think I've had enough. No, no. No, no, no. You don't understand. This is a good part.

He's already there listening right now and wants to talk to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, so let me get this straight. You wanted me to be like Dr phil or steve harvey or something it just laced into you how does that make sense on a first date first of all i didn't even know you were on the line secondly i ghosted you for a reason and i really don't even want to talk to you is this the vibe you got th Thomas, when you guys were out? Nothing like this.

This is like Medusa head. I don't know who this woman is. I'm just being honest with you. I feel like you could have at least questioned why I did it. Like, I need someone to hold me accountable for behavior. All right, you want some criticism? All right, yeah. You got my nails done.

Don't my nails look good? Yeah, your nails don't look good. You got a bad hair. Oh, wait. You got my nails done. Don't my nails look good? Yeah, your nails don't look good. You got a bad manager. No. You walked with the nails. No, he's talking about her nails. No. Those cost a lot.

Don't sell those. You didn't go there, did you? Like, my nails look amazing. Okay. Okay. I think he's just trying to give you what you want there, Celia. He's not reading what she wants very well, though. I mean, I will give her that.

I'm not sure if I'm reading exactly what she wants either. It sounds like you want to be punished. Next time, bring an iron fist to the date and put the hammer down. This is why he should have practiced dating more. He should have called the first person back. I'm telling you.

You gotta try a lot of people out until you find your right man. He could sleep around with other people and cheat on Celia and then we could send them out on a second date. I don't think that's what she wants either. Ask her. I mean, I could ask Celia.

Would you be interested in that? Would you like to go out one more time? I'm good with him. I thought I made that clear. Yeah, you did. You're very clear. It's just my job to ask. I don't know if Thomas is upset about that, though. Yeah, I'm upset about how this went, especially considering

she's out of her mind. Oh, okay. Now you're talking the way that she likes. Well, I really appreciate you guys having me on, but if I learned anything from this, it's don't date anyone who says separated in a profile. Oh, wait. Just stick to the singles or the divorcees, I guess.

Oh, that's what you learned. Yeah, good one. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Man, people have been saying forever that dating today is hard. Yeah. I think it's time after that call to start saying dating is impossible. Yeah, I agree. Because even if you're trying to be understanding and see the other person's perspective, hard yeah i think it's time after that call to start saying dating's impossible yeah because even if you're trying to be understanding and see the other person's perspective give them the

benefit of the doubt that's seen as a weakness yeah and they don't like you for it and that's why this ended with no date at the end anybody out there who's single including myself let's just all give up that's a winning attitude. Thank you, Jeff. I learned. Oh, man. That's so sad. It's okay. It's okay to die alone. No, it's not.

You will find your love. You don't have to base it off this lady. This lady was a little out there. And I think what it does say is that even if you were the cheater, there are people who will forgive you. Yeah. That guy was really nice. He was too forgiving, and that was the problem. See, you wouldn't date him either.

No, I wouldn't, bro. I could see why she hated you, though, Brooke. God, that was sappy. My God. Sappy? It was. Too sappy. And what I said wasn't?

I'm sorry. But, no, look, we do want to help connect you. Yeah, of course. If you still do believe in love out there. And if you do, you can always email the show. We'll call the person who isn't calling you back. Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble.

More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will, too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears

with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I'm Tomer Cohen, LinkedIn's Chief Product Officer. If you're just as curious as I am about the way things are built, then tune in to my podcast, Building One. I speak with some of the best product builders out there. I've always been inspired by frustration. It came back to my own personal pinpoint. So we had to go out to farmers and convince them. Following that curiosity is a superpower.

You have to be obsessed with the human condition. Listen to Building One on the iHeartRadio app, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts.