Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Two Faced Bus Driver

Episode Date: April 15, 2022

One of our listeners had a great date, but the future of their relationship might be ruined because of one questionable choice he made 5 years before they even met…See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Second Date update. If your shirt comes off on a first date, either things are going really well or they've somehow gone really, really wrong. And you're tying your clothes together to form some sort of makeshift rope in order to escape.

Did you guys do that? I've lost so many V-necks that way. Wow. Constantly having to buy new ones. But very strong fabric, I'm assuming. Yes, very stretchy. If you're able to climb down them. And one of our listeners had his shirt come off mid-date.

His name's Chris. We're going to find out if it was a good thing or a bad thing in just a second. But first, let's say hi to him. What's up Chris? Hey, how you guys doing? Okay, shirt on right now or shirt off? Shirt on. Less interested in this call already

Chris. I can take it off. I can take it off right now. Okay, sure. If you want to do that, go ahead. And while that happens, tell us about the girl you want us to call. What's her name? Avery. Okay. How'd you meet Avery?

Through the usual, the Tinder app. Okay. Yeah, and we bonded over Star Wars. That's cool. What were your expectations of the date? I usually don't really have too many expectations. I just want to get to know the girl and just get to chat with her. Wow. My expectations every date is we're going to get married and fall in love. That's my hope. Yeah, no, I'm the opposite of that. You're chill. You're weird.

Just like if we talk a little bit, then it's like success. That's good though. It's like low pressure, right? That is good. So what did you and Avery end up doing? Well, I'm boring. I don't know what to do. I take the girl to a bar or something. But this time, I was like, I'm going to do something different. And so I took her to a beer garden instead.

Oh, very different from a bar. It's an alcohol garden. Yeah. Rather than a bar stool. It's outside, usually. Sometimes under a tent. Wow. Kidding aside, though, that is fun, because you a bar stool. It's outside, usually sometimes under a tent. Kidding aside, though, that is fun because you're still drinking. And like Brooke said, you're probably outside.

You're probably at an event or somewhere fun. This is what Jose considers nature. Yeah. This is a hike for me. So what was it like? It was fun. We kind of just talked about stuff that was on our Tinder profiles. And she's actually a professional

massage therapist oh god i can't seriously this better work out because i need somebody right now i mean i'm not gonna lie that was like one of the things that really attracted me about her i was like oh wow that's really hot i asked her how many dudes ask her if they can get a massage and i told her i'm not gonna ask you that and that made her laugh and um she said she actually might she told me that if i make her laugh again then we'll see how the night goes just got on google and started looking up jokes. Puts on a full clown outfit. Worth it. Worth it for a free massage.

What did you do? Yeah. No, I was telling her I was like a bad boy and that like I jaywalk all the time. No. Nice. That's good. So she was laughing more. Yeah.

She was laughing. She was doing the you're pathetic, but I'll laugh with you oh okay was that a highlight or a low light it's a highlight anytime a woman laughs at me or with me it's a highlight okay you don't care about a pity laugh good yeah okay still laugh okay no she was into it um and then she kind of like abruptly said that she needed to go home and walk her dog maybe the jaywalk joke was not a good idea yeah that's where i thought for a second i thought oh did i do something wrong is it over and uh then she was like but if you want to come with me

so i came with her and then when we got there like once you open the door like literally in your view is the massage bed chair thing oh she had the table set up i guess apparently she had a client over earlier that day and she had never put it away and she was like well i told you that you might get one so you might as well do it oh my god my dreams are coming true for you yeah i was like wow and so yes i did what she told me to do i took off my shirt and i put my face through that little hole pouch that they have yeah that's when the shirt came off yeah yeah and then um she started giving me a really really good massage she's worth the money that whoever pays her is worth that's awesome yeah i mean when a massage is happening that's

usually leading to something a little bit more i was trying to read that with my male brain you know it's always like is it is it is it is it and uh it wasn't well it's weird how i understood exactly what you said i didn't i thought you were glitching i have no idea but the thing is i mean she's a professional massage therapist i mean this feels like work to her this doesn't feel like sexy time to her that's true right i think i've watched too much internet videos yeah so nothing happened during the massage how did the date end it was great i told her i might have to hire her she laughed again it was nice and then okay we walked her a little shit too and she gave me a hug goodbye and that was it and that was fine i felt like the vibe was fine but then you know i tried to see her ever since and she hasn't responded god it sounds like such a good date too yeah yeah is there

anything that you think maybe could have caused her to be scared away like did you do anything that was weird so i'm an avid listener of you guys and I've heard these calls where they're like, they do something creepy. But I swear to you, I can't remember a single thing that I could have done that made her just go 360 on me. See, normally I'd say... 360, you'd end up in 180. You're not a mathematician. 180, 180. I'm not good with math. Normally I would say like like, a massage,

what's embarrassing things happen. Sometimes people relax too much, and they pass gas, or they fall asleep, or something pops up. But like I said, like Brooke had said, she's a professional. She's a professional. She's seen it all. She doesn't care. If you did pop, you know, something happened, arousal,

I still think she would have handled that well. Yeah. You said that the shirt was the only thing that came off on the massage table, right? Nothing else came off? No. And you never even flipped over onto your back then, I'm assuming. I flipped over, but it was fine.

Yeah, God, that's all you got to say. We don't need more details. All right, we're going to play a song. We'll come back. We're going to call Avery for you, and we'll try and get you your second date update, okay? Alright, thank you Alright man, hold on

Second date update Before we make this phone call for the second date update Let's all relax our shoulders Oh, okay Breathe in the good energy Breathe out the bad Channel positive vibes For a successful second date update

That's nice I'm not at peace in here It does feel nice Sorry, Lexa It's a little too nice Oh Uh oh Oh no

Potato salad They get potato salad That's what's happening here Baseball Not appropriate Retainers Life insurance Okay

Oh, life insurance now i'm getting excited okay let's cut the music cut the music off okay can men not do anything we can't without my god when we're fully relaxed we get excited then everything should be relaxed if you're just joining us one of our listeners chris needed help getting a second date update because he got a massage on his first date after grabbing drinks with a woman named Avery, who is a professional masseuse. Yeah, professional. I think we go by massage therapist now. Massage therapist.

Excuse me. Good to know. After that, he did get a hug but has been having trouble getting back in touch with Avery. So we're going to reach out for him and try to help him out and see if he can get another date he got a hug and a rub down or at least we can get an appointment ever since i did the breathing exercises chris has been very quiet on the other hand chris are you okay uh yeah okay so you're also thinking about life insurance. What is going on? We're dudes. We can't help it.

Oh, my God. Chris, I mean, I hope this turns out for you. It sounds like you made a real honest connection with this woman. Yeah, and honestly, I'm kind of nervous. I really did. And I told you guys earlier that I'm a go-with-the-flow kind of guy, but she really got me in my head. That's awesome.

I mean, that's really good. in my head. That's awesome. All right. That's really good. I think this will turn out good. I'm optimistic that we are actually going to be able to make this a success for you as long as nobody in this room screws it up. All right. So here we go. I'm going to dial the phone number.

We're going to call Avery and get your second date update. You ready? Let's do this. All right. Let's do this. All right, let's do this. Hello? Hey, is this Avery? Yeah, who is this?

Hey, my name's Jeff from the radio show Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning. Hey, hey. How you doing? I'm okay. What are you guys doing calling me? We're doing one of our segments called the second date update. If you're not familiar with that, that's where if you go out on a date with someone and afterwards,

if that person isn't calling you back, you can email our show to reach out to them for you and help you figure out the reason why. Okay. Which guy had you guys pulled it? I like that. Yeah, we have options have options avery good on you we are calling on behalf of one of our listeners who you went out with his name's chris oh yeah he seemed like a super chill dude i mean he was chill and it's not necessarily that there's anything wrong it's just that there was like this weird thing that came up,

and I'm just not sure how I feel about it. That's a funny choice of words. I don't know how you phrased that. I want to say I told you so. Here's the thing. We spoke with Chris already, and he told us about your date. It sounded from our end like things went really well. Yeah. He told us about going to the beer garden, going back to your place to about your date. It sounded from our end like things went really well. Yeah.

He told us about going to the beer garden, going back to your place to walk your dog, and also that you offered him a massage on your massage table. Yeah, yeah. But it was all good from his perspective, and he's just hoping to get a little bit of clarification on what went wrong. I mean, it's not even necessarily that anything went wrong per se because i had a nice time i just you know once we got to the massage part of things and clothes started coming off it just it's sort of like this big thing was just

staring at me and i just wow i mean big isn't necessarily bad that's true i mean is it what everybody thinks it is no it's not even the good thing oh what's the big bad thing what happened is i asked him to take off his beanie and that's where things just start tanking really quickly and getting very weird because he's got a safe head no problem but on the back of his head he's got a tattoo of his face like his face is tattooed on the back of his head yeah okay so i'm trying to picture this now he's laying face down on your massage table you remove the beanie and then staring back at you from the back of his head is his own smaller version of his face yeah and it feels like whenever your mom is like i've got eyes in the back of my head so i I'm always watching. I'm getting visions of Lord Voldemort from the Harry Potter series

where Voldemort's on the back of the guy's head. See, I was thinking Steve-O. Did you ask him about it? I didn't. I didn't think that it would be polite. All right, and so that's the reason that you're weirded out by him because of his tattoo on the back of his head. Yeah, Avery's second face.

Yes, his little mini-me. All right. That's really interesting because when we spoke to Chris, he didn't tell us about that. No. And he swore that there was nothing that he left out of the story. Do you remember? He's like, oh, people always come on your show and say that there's something creepy they don't know about. But nothing weird happened.

He just has a tattoo. He didn't, like, say anything. Of his face. It's a big deal. But, come on, if you have a tattoo, I'm like, hey, just before I take my shirt off, I have my mom on my shoulder. I got a heart on my butt. You know, you don't tell people. You just have them.

If it's your own self-portrait, I think you need to give a heads up. Well, let's just ask Chris about it. Chris, why didn't you say anything, man? I'm sorry. Oh, my God. I was listening the whole time. Yeah, Avery, I should have mentioned to you earlier. Chris has actually been on the other side of this phone call quietly listening on both ends of this call okay guys to be fair i honestly forgot that i had

i would get it removed if i even remembered about it um what how do you forget you have your own face tattooed on the back of your head he He's had it forever. Yeah, I've had it for five years now. And if you guys want to know the story, I can show you guys. I don't know. Avery needs to understand what's going on. Yeah, I would like to know, actually. Okay, so I used to be a school bus driver.

And I don't know if you guys ever been in a school bus, but they're terrible to bus drivers like the kids yeah the kids they they throw stuff at you they say things they don't listen and I got really annoyed and fed up and I thought it would be funny if I got like a little tattoo version of my face to be like I see you it's not a bad a bad idea. I mean, like, I rode a bus in school and there's no way I'd mess with a bus driver that had a tattoo of himself on it. Yeah, that's true. Like, that would be

scary to me. And, you know, I was drunk with my cousin. Here's the real story. I like that we just stuck with the first version. Yeah, it kind of made sense for a minute. I was drunk with my cousin. Alright, we're not even going to get into that. Avery, what do you think? just stuck with the first version it kind of made sense for a minute i was drunk with my cousin all

right yeah we're not even gonna get into that avery what do you think you could have said that just focus on the school bus driver part of that yeah i guess i'm glad to know instead of being a serial killer that you were just a hard school bus driver yes he didn't say he's not he told you he was a bad boy on the date. Remember? That's true. Yeah. But like, so if you take the tattoo out of the equation, it sounded like you guys were getting along really well that night. I mean, I think everything before that was going pretty well.

I think it's an easy solution, too, because he can grow his hair out and you won't see it, or he can grow like a beard on the back of his grow, like, a beard on the back of his head. Oh, that'd be cool. To match his little face on the back of his head. He can shave a beard into his hair. That'd be nice, right? That's possible.

I mean, Avery. Or if things go really well, I could make a tattoo into her. I'm just kidding. I don't think now's the time to joke about that, Avery. Just remove it at that point. Chris said he might be willing to get the tattoo completely removed. Yeah. Is that true, Chris?

Yeah, I'll do it. I mean, a cool cover-up would be an option as well. A cool cover-up? Okay. There we go. Or just growing your hair out, like Jose said. Yeah, you can just grow it out. Yeah, for sure.

Avery, I would grow my hair out. I would put a ponytail on. I would have two hats, three hats on. I don't care. Okay. Okay. Now that is a promise. So he's laid it all out for you, Avery.

What do you say? One more date with Chris and we'll pay for it. Why not? Why not? That means yes. Chris, congratulations. It sounds like you got another date, man. Thank you.

I'm stoked. All right. Now put the little face on the phone. I want to talk to him for a got another date, man. Thank you. I'm stoked. All right. Now put the little face on the phone. I want to talk to him. Congrats, buddy. You did it. Thank you very much. Oh, he has an accent.

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what?

We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt.

And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How To Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners,

like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.