Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Under Arrest

Episode Date: November 18, 2021

This date lasted 20 MINUTES before the POLICE were involved... And it only got crazier from there...See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

John Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Had enough of this country? Ever dreamt about starting your own? I planted the flag. This is mine. I own this. It's surprisingly easy. Here are 55 gallons of water, 500 pounds of concrete. Or maybe not.

No country willingly gives up their territory. Oh, my God. What is that? Bullets. Listen to Escape from Zakistan. See you in hell! That's Escape from Z-A-Q-istan. Binge the whole season on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We got an email from a guy who wanted a second date update. And after I read it, there was no question that we were going to have him on. Why do I feel like you're already laughing? What is that smile? Because there were two points from it that stood out. One is that the police got involved. Oh, okay.

That's why you're smiling. You love a man in a uniform. That's not even the best part, though. That's not the best part. Can you believe that? We received an email saying, Law enforcement is present on my first date, and there's something even better than that.

What is it? He said his date looked like Anne Hathaway with bigger boobs. Oh, God. That trunks any police nonsense. That wasn't better. Yeah, it does. Zach, tell me more about this curvy Anne Hathaway. What's her name?

I'm just trying to describe her. That's like an objective description. It got my attention. You know, Anne Hathaway, Princess Diaries, real sex symbol there. Never had any homie be like, dog know Anne Hathaway, Princess Diaries, real sex symbol there. Never had any homie be like, dog, Anne Hathaway. Not like Margot Robbie or someone. What is her name?

Her name's Scarlett. Scarlett. That's a sexy name. Maybe just all because of Scarlett Johansson, but whatever. But for sure. Where'd you meet Scarlett? It's a pretty funny story. Do you want to hear the whole thing?

Probably not. Yeah. That's usually how these work. You tell a pretty funny story. Do you want to hear the whole thing? Probably not. That's usually how these work. You tell us the whole story. I'm going to go with just the highlights. Can we get just the highlights? I was out in my kayak, and I'm sort of in the middle of a lake, and I see this woman waving at me from sort of afar. She was out on what looked to be a rowboat.

So, of course, I row over, and see what's going on. Apparently, she had rented this little rowboat, but she lost her oars in the water. Yeah, so she was stuck there, I guess. Oh, stuck out in the middle of the lake? A damsel in distress. Oh, lucky you. I guess so.

I was thinking, you know, whatever, she's in trouble, so I have to take her back to shore. And she was really nice. She was obviously really grateful. And I took her back to the rental shop, because I thought that was the right back to shore. And she was really nice. She was obviously really grateful. And I took her back to the rental shop because I thought that was the right thing to do. And she had to pay for the oars

that she lost in the water somehow. But she said, this is okay if I make it up to you by buying you dinner. Okay. That's awesome.

I love a girl that has to guy out. Yeah, that's a big sign. Like, she totally could have ghosted you after that. Yeah. Dinner didn't last very long.

Why? Yeah, the cops. We forgot about the cops. Oh, right. We got wrapped up in Anne Hathaway with the boobs. Yeah. Dinner didn't last very long. Why? Yeah, the cops. We forgot about the cops. Oh, right, yeah. We got wrapped up in Anne Hathaway with the boobs. Yeah, so what happened

to dinner? Well, it started off great. Food was good. We were talking. We were talking about all kinds of TV, music, our beliefs. All the movies

she's been in. Our beliefs. Yeah, okay. Movies, right. We were talking about all kinds of things. We were hitting it off. Sure.

And sort of in the middle of the conversation, weirdest thing that's ever happened to. We're hitting it off. Sure. And sort of in the middle of the conversation, weirdest thing that's ever happened to me on a date, honestly. Okay. A police officer comes into the restaurant, walks straight up to our table, looks at her, and he says,

are you Scarlett? What? Uh-oh. And she says, yes. Oh, my God. And he says, you're under arrest. Please get out of the booth. Oh, my God.

Wait, she got arrested on your date he handcuffs her i'm freaking out i'm like what is going on dude what are you thinking in that moment thinking what the heck is going on i'm seriously freaking out like like am i safe i don't know who my associating would never get I mean, some sort of accomplice. Yeah, what happened? Yeah. I asked the cop, you know, like, hey, is there some sort of mistake? He's like, sir, you need to stay in your seat. Of course.

Oh, dude. Just mind your business. You're taking a bad girl. So wait, I mean, was there any hints into what she was arrested for? Do you have any idea? Well, he said something about an outstanding warrant. But that's like, I mean, I'm pretty sure that's all he said. She's not getting all emotional. She's about to cry, so she doesn't know whether

to run, and I'm like, I'm about to cry, too. The whole restaurant is staring at us. So what happens? I mean, you already rescued her once. Did you save her again? Bail her out? Yeah, it wasn't so easy this time. Yeah. I mean, so they take her away

and you're just left sitting there? Yeah, I'm left sitting there and the whole restaurant is staring at me now, right? And I'm watching him.

He puts her in the back of the car and he drives off. Whoa, dude. It is over. So I'm not just going to like stick around.

I'm just standing there. So I pay for the food really quickly and then on my way home I try calling her and of course it goes straight to Boston. I don't know how I'm thinking. I don't think you're going to be her one call.

No. But I keep calling her. So the next day, I call her. Someone picks up the phone, but then hangs up. Oh, my gosh. Have you checked the news? I mean, I haven't seen anything on the news, but I don't know if they'll make the news. If it was on the news, it'd be a big deal if she was on the news news so that's a good thing you didn't see her on the news i think so what do

you want to do now you want to call her phone number the jail she's still locked up do you know i don't know what all i have is her phone number and it's been four days i have no idea what to do bro oh my god right now just whittling But someone picked up the phone and hung up. So, I mean, somebody has her phone. Maybe you can find. I mean, what do you. But wait, do you want to go out with her again? I have no idea.

I honestly just want to know what the hell happened. Oh, yeah. And if it's some sort of mistake or something, yeah, I would go out with her. I mean, we really had it off. Yeah. Okay. As long as she's not like a murderer or something. Whoa, dude.

I want to know what happened. That's so dramatic. Okay. As long as she's not like a murderer or something. Whoa, dude. I want to know what happened. That's so dramatic. Okay, let's play a song. We'll come back and we'll try and get you your second date update. All right, man?

All right, great thanks. Okay, hold on. Moving 92.5. Second date update. If you're just tuning in for the second date update, we're on the

phone with Zach and Zach's first date ended in handcuffs. Ohuffs oh hey what's up that's typically a good thing yeah this wasn't the good kind because in the middle of dinner only 30 minutes into the day a police officer walked in went right up to their table and placed his date scarlett under arrest oh my gosh and you're hoping he's a stripper. No, he's not. Put her in handcuffs, said she had a warrant out, and then took her away in his car. Oh, man.

So Zach was obviously confused, is still confused. Yeah, we all are. Because he doesn't know what happened, and now he's kind of worried, wondering if we can maybe help figure out what was going on with his date Scarlett. Zach, how you feeling now? worried, wondering if we can maybe help figure out what was going on with his date Scarlett. Zach, how you feeling now? I'm just, I'm baffled and I'm hoping he gets my help. Have you thought of like crimes that would be okay for you to keep dating and crimes that you wouldn't want to date her anymore?

That's funny, but it's a good question. Oh, totally. Yeah, I've been thinking about that like every day. Like, you know, if she hadn't paid a series of parking tickets, I'd be okay with that. Sure, yeah. That's a good point. Some embezzlement. Maybe. What about identity theft? I don't think the cops though, like, break into a restaurant and

take you away for unpaid parking tickets. I don't know though. Hosea might be worried for you. Yeah, dude. I have a boot on my car. I have a warrant. Let's get to the bottom of it, okay? I'm going to dial Scarlett's number. Right now, we're going to get you a second date update.

You ready, ma'am? I'm ready. Okay, here we go. Hello? Hi, can I speak to Scarlett, please? This is her. Hi. Okay, we gotcha.

I didn't say we gotcha. Sorry, I know. She's arrested again. I didn't know if you would answer. My name's Jeffrey from the radio show Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning. What is this about? This is about a segment that we do on our show

called the Second Date Update. It's where if you go out with somebody and afterwards if they're not calling you back, you can email us and we'll reach out to that person for you to try and figure out the reason why they've been ghosting you. Oh my god. And that person reached out to us recently. His name is Zach.

Oh my god, I know I should have answered this call. Oh no! Scarlett, don't freak out, okay? Like, apparently, bad things happened on your date, and it was probably one of the worst days of your life. We're not here to chastise you. He just thought you were really lovely. Yeah.

Zach told us about the date, and he did mention that you were arrested at the end. Okay, so why don't you just tell Zach that I'm okay, and I'm just not going to be around for a while. He should just forget me. Oh, are you getting locked up? Forget you? No way.

Why? We want details. No, Jose. I'm sorry, but... Look, because here's the thing. Zach has been really, really worried about you. Yeah. And he's been trying to get a hold of you.

He isn't sure what happened or why the police came after you. I mean, even if you don't want to go out with him again, can you at least give him some answers? Help him understand what was going on? I can't believe he told you I got arrested. Well, I mean, it's kind of a big moment. Like, think if the tables were turned, Scarlett. Like, you're out on a first date and your date gets arrested. It's a pretty shocking situation.

And if it helps, he was very complimentary about you and your physical appearance. Yeah, you're a doppelganger. Well, that's nice of him. Zach seems like a really nice guy. But here's the thing. I just don't think that we're a great match. Just say it nicely.

Okay, wait. So you're telling him not to call you back because you don't like him or because you're getting locked up? Yeah. You can say whatever. It doesn't matter to me. It's okay if you never want to see Zach again.

That's totally fine on our end. But just for his sake, he has been worried about this for so long. He's been stressed out over the last few days, wondering what happened. Are you okay? I feel like the least you could do after all this trouble that he went through is to just give us a little bit of information that we could pass along to him just to put his mind at ease fine sure okay okay that's a yes while we were at dinner it started off okay but then he started talking about all of his political beliefs very quickly.

Social Security, tax reform for boat owners. Did you say tax reform for boat owners? He owns a kayak, I guess. Does that qualify? It's important to him, okay? I'm sorry. Maybe he's working his way up.

Those weren't the political beliefs I thought you were going to talk about. I mean, more than anything, that just sounds really boring. Yeah, so that was his choice of date conversation. And I'm on the other side thinking, like, holy shit, this is a turnoff and I have to get out of here. Okay. Yeah, understandable. I'm a person that doesn't,'t like i don't like talking about politics with people especially people who are extreme like just extremists and really want to get into it

extreme either side they're the worst agree on politics sometimes it's tough to talk about it's just not a good first date sure always situation i'm not sure i'm connecting the dots though like how does that tie into you getting arrested i punched him because he's so annoying okay yes so let me explain i texted a friend and my friend happens to be a cop what and he was off duty and pretended to arrest me and save me oh my god what are you talking like that is so stupid why wouldn't you I called a friend my friend just happens to be a cop and this was what happened this was a story that we played out so wait hold on hold on you had a whole restaurant staring at you thinking you were getting arrested you left this guy sitting by himself at a table

and that somehow was easier than just saying oh hey i don't like to talk about politics this isn't working out for me i'm gonna go so you don't understand i have gone on dates with guys like this. I would have been there for three hours. Wow. Oh, my God. I want to be friends with cops. Being arrested is better than being on a date. Yeah. I mean, I wonder how Zach would feel hearing that. Or Zach.

Because, Scarlett, I need to tell you, Zach's actually been on the other line listening. He heard this whole conversation. He wants to talk to you. Are you serious? It's a sting. Yeah. actually been on the other line listening. He heard this whole conversation. He wants to talk to you. Are you serious? It's a sting. Yeah.

I can't believe you called your friend to come over and have you arrested in the restaurant. That is, that's messed up. It wasn't my idea. It was his idea. It just kind of happened really quickly. I didn't mean for it to be a big deal, but honestly. Is that why you went to the bathroom?

You went to the bathroom to go text him, please come over and arrest me? Is that seriously how bad to happen? Is that why you went to the bathroom? You went to the bathroom to go text him, please come over and arrest me? Is that seriously how bad of a date I was? I'm sorry, you were just going off and I didn't want to talk about politics for two hours. You could have just said, I'm sorry, I don't like you. You could have just said, I don't like you. You didn't have to take a drag man handcuff.

That's mean, though. I tried changing the subject. You would bring up the craziest things. Why do you have to talk about why fortune telling is illegal in maryland okay it's just something i'm passionate about and i care about the country and this is the thing that one of the canadas ran on that platform. He supported the 14,000. You know what? I don't. I mean, I will say I'm starting to see how you thought that maybe you'd be stuck there a little bit longer. Yeah. If you just told him.

She's like, oh, I hear sirens again right now, actually. Scarlett, do you feel bad at all? I mean, you made him really worried about you. It's pretty extreme. Look, I didn't mean for it to be such an extreme event, but it kind of matched his personality. So that's my kind of thought. Yeah, we were vibing. I just want to say you are the one who wanted to talk about legislation

to change the drinking age in Alaska. You pressured me. You pressured me into making some kind of decision about age in Alaska. You pressured me. You pressured me into making some kind of decision about drinking in Alaska. I didn't even want to do this. I wouldn't even have told you that I had set up an arrest. I only said it because I'm being pressured on the radio from these guys. Is it your first arrest or had you been arrested before on other dates, Scarlett? It wasn't real.

No, only when they go off on why grass should be mowed every Tuesday at 2 p.m. What the fuck? We're doing HOA politics now? We do not support that on Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning, just so you know. We vote no on grass cutting. I'm going to say, not good for the environment. I mean, speaking of getting arrested, I'm feeling a little bit of heat coming out of this relationship right now. And I feel like maybe this is the right time to ask Scarlett, would you like to go out on one more date with Zach?

We will pay for it. Oh, oh, there's a, it looks like there's a cop here in my apartment. I need to go. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Zach, it happened again. You're going to have to pay bail, Zach. You know what?

Whatever. But, you know what? Just next time, please, just tell the guy you don't like him. Don't have the cops or the FBI show up and take you away. Yeah, well, we'll see. I mean, there's a lot of bad dates out there. So now that I've got this under my belt we'll see what i'll do next well if i was a fortune teller in maryland right now i'd predict that scarlet will get arrested sometime in the future but it's illegal so i'm not gonna predict that

brooke and jeffrey in the morning john stewart is back at the daily show and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I planted the flag. This is mine. I own this. It's surprisingly easy. 55 gallons of water, 500 pounds of concrete. Or maybe not. No country willingly gives up their territory.

Oh my God. What is that? Bullets. Listen to Escape from Zakistan. That's Escape from Z-A-Q-istan. Binge the whole season on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.