Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Update My Dino Profile

Episode Date: May 6, 2024

One of our listeners went down a weird internet rabbit hole and what she found changed her whole approach to dating… Hear what she learned in a brand new Second Date podcast! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late-night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. People, my people, what's up?

This is Questlove. Man, I cannot believe we're already wrapping up another season of Questlove Supreme. Man, we've got some amazing guests lined up to close out the season. But, you know, I don't want any of you guys to miss all the incredible conversations we've had so far. I mean, we talked to A. Marie, Johnny Marr, E., Jonathan Sheckner, Billy Porter, and so many more. Look, if you haven't heard these episodes yet, hey, now's your chance. You gotta check them out.

Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Second Date Update. There's a lot of confusing information out there about how to attract a mate online. That's what the video says. How to catch your mate. Is that what you're Googling? Maybe that's why the information is so bad.

He printed out a how-to sheet from Yahoo. Can't even tell it's right in front of him. It's so conflicting, though. It's like, be super clear with your intentions, but also be mysterious and coy. Make sure to be super funny and playful, but don't be jokey, or they're going to think you're not serious. What doesn't make sense, Jeff? Show them who you really are, even if you run a puppy mill. Let them know.

No. Girls love puppies. And one of our listeners says she got swept up in the confusion of how to maximize your dating profile but in the end i guess it turned out to be a good thing for her well i don't know she's on the phone with us so let's figure it out cynthia welcome to the show tell us what happened hi guys so good to be here oh well that's good cynthia look at you try an extra heart again. Yeah.

So what happened? How did you get swept up in the confusion of the online dating? Well, Google is free, but it's a jungle. Yeah. Wait, you asked Google for advice instead of like your friends? What should she ask? Her friends. Oh.

No, I feel like you should run your profile by your friends and see what they think if it's showing you in the best light or not well we get there eventually so i'm looking up all these different ways on how i can get more matches with online dating and some of the things i found were that if your profile picture has your hair out of your face, you're 27% more likely to get a match. Yeah, unless you have an ugly face. Oh, Brooke. Brooke.

Oh, wow. I'm so sorry about her. Is that what the problem is, Cynthia? Can you confirm that for Brooke over here? I shaved my head and no one's matching. Did no one else think that? I didn't. I didn't think that.

I was thinking it was big on TikTok for all this. The guys like hair up more than down gets attention. I didn't think about it. Okay. So 27% more likely if you have your hair up out of your face. Right. And 76% more likely if you have a teeth smile, if you smile with your teeth. That's assuming you have all your teeth in there, right?

I'm missing a few. I smile with my gums. I got a little gummy smile. That's only because of your ratio. Yeah. Okay. Anything else? This is one from my side that I also find to be pretty true.

If you're alone in your pictures, no friends, no one else in the photo, you're 60% more likely to get a pass. I swear, there's been times where I'm swiping and I'm like, what girl is the girl? Because every picture is girl. That's part of the fun, Jose. It's like, ooh, spin the wheel, who am I going to get? I think all group is weird.

So wait, what'd you go with? Did you do some group, some solo? Did you do all one way? That's what you should do. Well, no, I did all just single photos of me. Because I find that when I'm swiping for guys, if I have to guess who you are in the photo, I'm not going to. I'm just going to swipe. Okay.

So did you take all that advice? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I tried it. And? I still got nothing after a week. Nothing. Nothing? Nothing?

Really? I mean, you know, there were like weirdos, of course, like guys who weren't very interested. So what'd you change? What'd you do to change your luck? Well, she couldn't change her face up, Brooke. Like, it's not very nice to tell her to get surgery before. Yeah, what'd you do? New eyes?

I don't know. Can we like move off of that and maybe get to how did you change your dating profile? That's what I asked. What did you change about yourself? It was the way you said it. Yeah, we all knew. So what happened? So I just ended up asking my friend what she thought of what I had uploaded.

Wait, Brooke actually, that's exactly what you said. What did your friend say? She said I looked like a velociraptor. No. You got wasted. Were you burying your teeth or smiling? She kept saying that I had such big teeth and that was my hair pulled back. Like my forehead looked so big.

How dare she? Are you mad or are you like, I can see it? I mean, I was humbled for sure. I'm trying to figure out who's meaner, your friend or Brooke. I would never say that to my friend. Not to their face, no. Oh my God. Oh wow.

Okay, so she gave you a few tips to change stuff? That was kind of all she said. I guess her tough love pushed me to kind of just go back to the drawing board and just go back to what I was already doing. Okay. Her advice is just start looking for a dinosaur. Are we ever going to get a date here? Are we, like, what happened?

Well, so I ended up just posting what I felt was right for me. I ended up getting a date with this guy, Aaron. Okay. Oh, cool. Congrats. Yeah, we ended up texting. We went out for, like, pizza and wine and stuff. And it's funny because I told him about, you know, my experience with trying to update my profile.

And that was kind of the topic of conversation for most of the night. We laughed about it and ended up taking pictures of each other, you know, in dinosaur poses. It was cute. Oh, my God. Really? Oh, my God. I love it. See, good sense of humor.

Embrace it and now you bonded Although everybody else in the pizza parlor was like What the heck is going on They're in their own world Your pet names for each other are already Raptor Raptor So what's happened since then

I haven't been able to hang out with him in like a month That was like a month ago It sounds like you've been texting It just hasn't lined up I just, I haven't been able to hang out with him in like a month. That was like a month ago. Oh, a month. And it sounds like you've been texting. It just hasn't lined up. Yeah, like our schedules haven't lined up. We haven't been able to find a good time. And I just, I don't know.

I'm getting a little discouraged. I felt like, you know, we lost a bit of momentum. And I was just wondering if you guys could give me some advice or help me out a little bit. Oh, gosh. Well, Brooke's going to tell you to change the way your voice sounds. So maybe you don't want to ask us for advice. I wasn't talking about her, okay? You sound amazing. You sound fun.

You sound funny and self-deprecating. I know, but what about her, Brooke? I know I'm me, but what about her? You know what? We're just going to call this guy Aaron for you when we come back and do your second date update right after this. Hold on. Second date update. On the phone with us today

is a woman who just updated her dino dating profile. The majestic Cynthia-saurus Rex. Oh my god. You know, though, I think there was a lot worse dinosaur she could have been compared to.

That's true. Okay. We're going to call her C-Rex for short. No. Or maybe just Cynthia, which is her normal name. Probably that. Her human name. But the reason why we're poking fun about it is because she found an article online

with all these tips about what types of pictures you should take if you want to get better matches on dating sites. And she found some ideas where you're supposed to pull your hair back show more teeth that's supposed to get more guys to swipe on you but after a week online with no matches her friend told her the truth the reason no guys are biting is because you look like a velociraptor looks like you but listen the most ferocious of the dinosaurs. Yes. With a very muscular build. Wait, that's... I don't know if that made it any better.

It doesn't look like that normally. It's just with the new hair back do and the teeth bearing poses, it came across dino-like. Yeah, but she finally realized she just needed to be herself. That's right. That was the good part. But it ended up being the topic of conversation on her date with a guy named Aaron. They had a great time together. Problem is, that was a month ago.

And now she needs our help to get things jump-started once again. Brooke, I'm afraid to even go to you. Why? Every time you say something, it comes out offensive. But what do you want to say to Cretaceous Cynthia over here? No, I think it's good, Cynthia, that you and him have been talking. You've been trying to get something nailed down. I know it feels like maybe the,

what is it called? Momentum. Yeah, the momentum. Has dulled a little bit. That's exactly what she said at the end of the last segment. You're just repeating her. Listen, I just don't want you to come off

as too needy. Oh, okay. You know, like this is your only option because it's not, right? Yeah, you're wanted. Well, it might be our only option. No, but we don't want to skewer that way. Cynthia, can you dial down the desperate needy vibes that you're one it might be early option yeah but we don't want to Cynthia can you dial down the desperate needy vibes that you're giving

towards Brooke right now oh my god no problem I didn't I don't mean to come off super needy I don't think you know don't bring up again the fact that you weren't getting a lot of matches because a needy person would do yeah you want to make it sound like this last month has been so packed and oh my God, I totally forgot to call you. Okay, I do. So I'm going to have a radio station do it. Squeeze you in maybe.

Yeah, exactly. I texted you 20 times by accident. I mean, maybe even if he says yes to a date, maybe you tell him that you're maybe available. Oh no. It's been so long since Brooke has gone on a real first date. It actually was the time of the dinosaurs. The last time I went on a first date. Brooke's like, tell him you hate him.

I don't know if that would turn you on, Jose. Maybe, yeah. We're going to cut the advice segment of this short and just call Aaron for you. How does that sound, C-Rex? Come on. Here we go. I'm sure I'll let Alexis do the advice. I'm just kidding.

Here we go. Let's call him hello thanks for calling this is aaron oh oh is he running business aaron what a formal way to answer uh don't have to ask who it is. That was not expecting that. We're a radio show. And you're welcome for calling. Yeah, thanks for answering.

A radio show. Yeah, we're called Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. And we're doing a segment right now hoping that you'll be a part of it. It's too late. You're already a part of it. So buckle up. Buckle up. What is this about?

Perfect. This is about your dating life, actually. About a month ago, we went out with one of our listeners named Cynthia. Cynthia. Yeah. You guys remember? Pizza and beer, I think. Wine. Wine, pizza and wine.

Alcohol. I remember Cynthia. Oh, yeah. We had a good time. That was a good date. Oh, that's so great to time. That was a good date. Yeah. Oh, that's so great to hear. That's a good reaction. That's nice to hear because we're all confused, and we're trying to help her figure out if there's a reason why you're not getting back to her and wanting to see her again, if that's even true.

Yeah, well. Because she's super busy right now. Yeah, that's right. That's right. Thank you. Trying to pencil you in somewhere. Oh, she's busy? That's probably good.

Actually, I'm kind of busy, too. I'm really busy. Yeah, what are you so busy with? Well, other dates, as it turns out. Oh. That was blunt. Okay. I didn't expect that answer.

You guys aren't, yeah, serious? Yeah, good for you, man. Other, like, second date, third dates, or just all first dates? Well, a heck of a lot of first dates, really. A couple of second dates. Yeah, it's all really new for me, I have to say. What is? All the

attention that I'm getting online from my profile. It happened all of a sudden? Yeah, I don't know how much she told you about the date, but we were joking around we just ended up taking these funny pictures oh yeah she mentioned that like dinosaurs yeah having a great time because that was like what she tried on her dating profile before and in like was laughing about it well yeah and that's what we were doing in the photos and they turned out pretty funny

and just kind of as a goof after the date i put one of the photos of me up on my profile and uh you acting like a dinosaur yeah and it was a hit what what what i struck gold go figure i started getting all these hits that like i've never gotten before attention but you're in some dinosaur algorithm i need to see the photo it's the fact that he's getting all these hits that I've never gotten before. Wow. What? You're in some dinosaur algorithm? I need to see the photo. It's the fact that he's with somebody. That's a proven fact.

They were taking pictures of each other. Was it just you, or was it both of you? It was just me, but it was all the tips and tricks and everything that she was talking about. I pulled my hair back. I showed my teeth and my smile. Wait, so those

things work for guys but not for girls? Or maybe just when you do them right. Is it just face shape? I don't know what it was. I put one photo up and I get all this attention. This is really crazy but you know who would be really interested to learn this information? Yeah.

Is actually Cynthia herself who just happens to be on the other line right now. Yeah, she already heard it. Yeah, she's hearing this. She's not listening, is she? Yeah. She's listening, and she wants to talk to you right now, Aaron. Oh, no, no.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cynthia? Aaron, I am shocked. Oh. I basically put you on. Yeah, you did. You wing-manned him. God.

Yeah, you deserve most of the credit. You took the picture. Oh, hey. That's a good point. You're a really good photographer, Cynthia. I did him a favor. Are you thanking her for getting you dates, bro? That's a little accidentally petty, almost.

Well, okay, Cynthia, remember we talked, like, dating has been really hard for me. I'm just not used to getting attention. Well, now I am. I'm just going with it. I'm sorry. Okay. Well, this has got to be a little bit overwhelming to hear all this.

Cynthia, how are you feeling right now? Honestly, I'm a little hurt. I'm kind of shocked. Those pictures were just like joke pictures. I thought like this kind of going to pictures were just like joke pictures i thought like this kind of going to be like an inside joke between us and now other girls like that i guess and now you're gonna see all of them instead of me when i've been you know we've been in contact no no i don't want to see them instead of you i want to see you too i just just got to wait to get it opening. But Cynthia, you're really packed too, right?

Right. I have to see if I can put you into my schedule as well. Oh, my God. That's right, Cynthia. She's not going to wait around all day, Aaron, just for you to show up. This is the catch. I have to say, honestly, Cynthia, she's a wonderful girl,

and that wouldn't surprise me. I'm sure she gets a lot of attention. Oh. Well, look, if I set something up, let's say next weekend, is that something that is available for you? She promised to cancel on, like, seven other guys just to make that happen for you, Erin. She has seven dates that night. Yeah, let me check my calendar. Okay.

Which day? Which day? Does next Saturday work? Wait, Saturday. Wait, this coming Saturday? Maybe, how about five weeks? What? Five Saturdays from now?

That's your only free opening? Try a Monday. Try a Monday. Oh, my God. Cancel with whoever Saturday chick is and put Cynthia in her place. There's five Saturday girls. Come on. I mean, two such highly successful daters meeting right here on this show. I mean, that's a sign that you need to be saying yes, Aaron. We'd love to send you

out with Cynthia one more time if you're up for it and we'll pay for the date. Yeah, I definitely want to go out with Cynthia again, but it's going to be a while. Okay, but he's excited. Okay, I mean, Cynthia, are you still cool with that? Can you wait a little? A girl can only wait so long. We'll have to see. That's actually a good answer.

Don't tell him yes or no. We know it's yes. Cynthia, in the meantime, I'm really getting a lot of practice. So that could only work in your favor. Oh. I don't want to know. I do not want to know practice at what. Please don't tell us.

No. Tell me I want to know. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Well, duck face is ancient history. Oh, yeah. Scrunch face is out. This is a good point, Jeff. You must be DeLulu if you don't know the latest look for dating profiles. Dude, you learned that word and now you're not going to stop using it.

I know. It's funny because you're so kind. The two Gen Z's in the room, Ashton and Alexis, are like, stop. I'm saying you're DeDumDum if you don't know. Here he goes. The look is the Jurassic pucker. More teeth, please. More teeth.

I can't believe that guy had so much success using the dinosaur pictures, and she had none. Yeah, but you've got to think, like, I bet he was starting with pictures that were terrible of him. You get one female to take one picture of a guy and instantly they just look 800 times better. You are so right. That is true. My husband takes one picture of me and I look like an old hag.

Oh my God. But like Alexis said, maybe some people out there just know how to do it the right way. Yeah. This one's the naughty triceratops. Oh, Jeffrey.

That's what I think about. I'm doing all of them. I don't know if those two are actually going to go out, but I'm glad that we learned something new today. Sure. And the good thing is we can always help you with your dating life if you really want that. Yeah, we're not Lulu. No.

Do the right thing. Email the show. We'll call that person who's not calling you back. We're so done with new year, new you. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know know what we love that for you someone else will too be more you this year and find them on bumble john stewart is back in the host chair at

the daily show which means he's also back in our ears on the daily show ears edition podcast join late night legend john stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews and more. Now, this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. People, my people, what's up? This is Questlove. Man, I cannot believe we're already wrapping up another season of course love supreme man we've got some amazing guests lined up to close out the season

but you know i don't want any of you guys to miss all the incredible conversations we've had so far i mean we talked to amyree johnny marr e jonathan shekta billy porter and so many more look if you haven't heard these episodes yet hey now's your chance you gotta check them out Eve, Jonathan Sheckman, Billy Porter, and so many more. Look, if you haven't heard these episodes yet, hey, now's your chance. You gotta check them out. Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.