Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update UPDATE: Playing Possum

Episode Date: July 18, 2024

Wild Bridge Possums were definitely involved, but absolutely unharmed in the making of today’s Second Date Update -- UPDATE! Hear the call in the podcast!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else.

Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Second Date Update. We got an email from a guy wanting a second date update who says he thinks he's finally cracked the dating matrix. Oh, really? Honestly, I have no idea what that means. If this has to do with have someone taking a blue pill instead of the red pill, I'm going to be upset.

I'm just hoping Keanu Reeves is on the phone right now asking us to help him with his love life. Yeah, it's difficult for him. Keanu, are you taking the little blue pill? Burke wants to know. Keanu, is that you? Hey, hey, this is Evan. Oh. Oh, yeah, this is not Keanu.

Not quite as hot, Evan, but okay, we'll take you. Keanu probably wouldn't have said more than one word. I can't live up to Keanu. Okay. Well, sorry, I didn't mean to be that disappointed. I don't know. Maybe Keanu will call in later. But tell us about this.

What's this dating matrix thing that you've cracked? What does that mean? So there's three points a woman can have. She can only have two, never the third. I've seen this. This is brilliant. I don't get it. What kind of points?

What does that mean? So they can be hot, they can be sane, or they can be single. They can be hot and sane, but then they're not single, right? Oh, okay. It's perfect. It works with guys, too. They can be sane and single, but then they won't be hot. Yeah, exactly.

You can only have two of the three points, but not all of them. I feel like that works for men, too. Yeah, it does. I don't think that it's just a women exclusive there. It totally does. It goes for both sexes. Look over here, Brooke. Hello.

The trifecta right in front of you. Yeah, well, you're not very sane, though. Oh, okay. Actually, are you any of the three points, Jeff? Yeah. Sorry, bro. That was a roast. I'm sorry.

I wasn't going to do it, so I appreciate it. I'll say that you stepped up for the rest of the team. You're not hot or sick. Yeah. Whatever the third thing was. I opened myself up to that. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. All right. Well, back to Evan and your dating matrix. You think that you found a girl who's all three? Well, I definitely hope she's all three. It seems like she is. Okay. Now, just real quick before we learn about her, are you able to offer all three?

I'd like to think I do. Okay. Okay. But Jeff thought that for a second. Don't let your friends put you in check, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what's her name? Tara.

Tara. Tara, okay. Okay, where'd you meet her? Oh, we met on a dating app. Okay. Do you list this trifecta theory on your bio? No, not on the bio. Probably offend people.

Probably not the right way to lure people in. People do all sorts of weird things on their dating bios. We know that from here. It wouldn't be shocking. You would know, Brooke, I guess. Keep falling for them. Anyway, tell us more about Tara. What did you like about her?

She's super fun, she's really cute And she seems down to earth Okay, what'd you guys do on your date? We went to a bar, had some drinks And we mostly told bad dating stories That we've had Bonding over the bad dating stories is good But don't you think it gets to a point

In that conversation where it just gets a little tiresome? Like almost like ick How many stories do you have? I feel like maybe the common denominator is you. The last story is like in one day, all we talked about was bad dates. Oh. Do you remember any of the stories? She told me about this first date she went on where the guy she was going out with brought his mom with him.

Oh, gosh. That's an impressive start. And he introduced her as his girlfriend oh to the mom not the mom he introduced the new girl to tara yeah yeah yeah he introduced tara as his girlfriend to his mom okay oh my gosh what what's wrong with that exactly like it's not like the worst thing that a guy could do though it's It's pretty bad, Jeff. Yeah. Don't bring your mom. You're lying. I know your mom wants to come.

I'm just going to make a note of this. Don't bring mom. The thing about my mom is she thinks any girl that talks to me is my girlfriend. Is that your new girlfriend? No, mom, that's just a friend. What about you, Evan? Did you have a bad dating story? Most of my bad dates have been kind of boring.

So I try to tell her one of my roommates bad dates Where they found an injured possum Just lying there And he insisted on taking it home with them Oh no It's a lot Trying to take home a wild possum It's like how was your night last night

Well I took home a wild possum It's not a euphemism Everyone's high ffiving nice. Literally have to get a rabies shot later. Okay. That sounds fun, bonding over stuff like that. It is kind of sad that you don't have that bad of a dating story yet. Yeah, yeah.

But actually, no, this is right. That is good overall. Was there any bad moments in the date? It really didn't feel like there were. There wasn't a lull in the conversation. We both just kept talking. It didn't end with a kiss

or anything, but, you know. Okay. So how did you leave it? I asked if I could see her again. She said, yeah, sure. But every time I tried

to text her, she said she's busy or she didn't see the text. I'm surprised the possum didn't get her all grown. That was the kissing time. Yeah, sure. You can see me again. Sure. Yeah. I'm worried because possum story didn't get her all That was the kissing time Yeah sure you can see me again Sure I'm worried because the trifecta the sane part is pretty easy

To hide the first few dates You know The third part doesn't Come up for years later For that the single part is actually pretty high For one date too you know But that is why he said that he was hopeful That she was all three things of the dating matrix triangle.

Can we confirm that? Maybe we can when we come back. We're going to call Tara for you and try and get you your second date update right after this, all right? Okay. All right, man, hold on. Second date update.

You're in the middle of a second date update update, and we're going to find out how the couple is doing right after you hear part two. We're going to find out how the couple is doing right after you hear part two. We're about to find out if the dating matrix can actually be broken. Oh, wow. We learned about it in the first part from our listener, Evan. Apparently, it works kind of like a triangle where there's three qualities about a person. They're hot.

They're sane. They're single. But the rule is you can only have two of them. Yes. If you're hot and sane, then you're probably not single. If you're hot and single, you're probably not sane. If you're sane

and single, then you're probably not hot. Yes. Can't have all three. I'm just single. Jeff has none of them. We've gone over this, so it's still kind of an honor to be. Yeah, breaking it down is really depressing. Just internally in the room. I mean, honestly, there's no good luck on any of those combinations.

Finding more and more reasons every day to give up and move to Columbia to find a mate. But Evan thinks maybe Tara could actually break the matrix and be all three qualities all at once. We're about to call her and find out. We'll see. Don't know if she thinks the same since she's not calling him back. Yeah. You know, of him. She's not perfect.

She's not good at texting back, huh? We're going to find out the reason. You ready to do this, Evan? Yep, I'm all ready. If this doesn't work out, are you going to, like, reason you ready to do this evan yep i'm all ready if this doesn't work out are you going to like give up on dating altogether like this is the last chance ditch effort dang to find the perfect girl i mean it depends you know if she's not single then yeah i'll keep going okay okay that's the easiest one to swallow but if she's not hot that would be a weird one to find out after the date you never know okay yeah that'd be weird yeah yeah let's find out here we go

hello hey uh we're looking for tara uh hi yeah this is she okay Okay. Perfect. All right. My name is Jeff from the radio show Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning. Yeah, the whole show's here, Tara. We're excited to have you on. That's the show. Yep. Thanks, Jeff. What show?

I'm sorry, from where? It's a radio show. Mm-hmm. Okay. Hi. Hi. Kind of weird. Yeah, it's a little weird,

but we do this segment called The Second Date Update, and we're trying to help out one of our listeners score another meetup with you. Okay. My goodness. I know, weird. Who is it? Oh, yeah. I was just going to have you guess for a long time, but maybe I'll just tell you his name's Evan.

She's like, do we get to know? Yes. Yes, you get to know Tara. You remember Evan? Oh, my Yes. Yes, you get to know Tara. You remember Evan? Oh, my God. Yes, I do. We've heard about the date from Evan's perspective, about going to a bar and having drinks and having a, seemed like a good night. Yeah, he said you guys commiserated over all your bad dating experiences.

Right. Oh, my gosh. Yes. Yeah, we did um that's kind of the reason why i just cannot get over what happened um i'm really honestly just embarrassed what uh kind of annoyed oh my god what happened do you mind telling us yeah it just it just really sucks. Cause I felt like we had a good connection and then I got awkward, um, because we were sharing our worst funny date stories and it was like going really well. Um, I told the story about how I went on a date with this guy and he brought his mom along.

Yeah. He said that he told you a story about his roommate right so um yeah that story about his roommate how his roommate took a girl out for drinks and they were like really tipsy and they were walking over a bridge uh he kind of got the story a little bit wrong um how would he get the story wrong how do you know the Because the girl, so the girl tried to bring home the possum in her purse, right? And as I'm hearing this story, in my, like, drunken, like, catalog of a brain I'm going through, and I'm like, oh, my God, that girl was me. Wait. You're a possum girl?

What? I'm the girl. He uses your story as a horror story. Has the worst possible date that somebody's ever been on? Oh, my God. So you dated his roommate for a hot, like you went on one date with his roommate. We went on one date, and I wasn't even trying to bring the possum home. I was trying to dig in my purse, like in my drunken state,

to try to give it some food, to maybe give it some life back. I think I got a french dig in my purse, like, in my drunken state to, like, try to give it some food to maybe give it some life back or energy. I think I got a french fry in this purse. I swear. I got granola bars. One second. When you realized that it was about you, did you tell Evan, like, anything? No. No.

No, not at all. I literally shut down. I was like, wow. And that's when you were like, I'm never talking to this guy again. Is it like you didn't want to talk to him again because he thinks you're a horrible dater or because you dated his roommate, a little mix of both? Yeah, it's true. Yeah. Both. Just both.

I was like, and to think also, too, that his roommate was kind of exaggerating the story. So I'm like, wait, I don't want to kind of put them in a weird situation. But then is it weird that I went on a date with his roommate first? Well, now's your chance to finally set the record straight and get the story right with Evan, because he's actually on the other line and you could tell him all the ways that he's messed up. Hey, Tara. Oh, my gosh. Oh, he's laughing. That's good. That's good.

You're possum girl. Oh, that was me. Yeah, the story was a little off. That's good. That's good. You're Possum Girl. Oh. Possum Girl. Oh, that was me. Yeah. The story was a little off, and I didn't want to, like, correct it right then and there because I was just so mortified. But that was me. Oh, my God.

Did you have any idea, Evan? No, I had no idea. She has a great poker face. I had no idea. Oh, my God. She's like, yeah, that girl sounds awful so tara what part of the story wasn't right what part did the roommate get wrong so he exaggerated saying that i was trying to bring the possum home in my purse um i was definitely not gonna bring the possum in

my purse i didn't want to touch it i just simply was bent down by it to try to feed it my leftover like i don't know if it was trail mix or granola. I don't know what I had in my first. Like don't go near injured animals. She wasn't trying to adopt the injured possum. She was trying to nurse it back to health. Oh my gosh. Does that make you look at her differently, Evan?

I mean, yeah, if that's true, then yeah, it's a really different story. Usually I trust my roommate on this thing. He said, after you had it in your purse, you started walking it back home. Her story makes more sense. But his is more fun at a party. If you're going to tell the story at a party, it's way more fun. Taro's actually trying to help the possum. If it was Brooke, she would have tried to cook it right there on the side of the road.

Possum tastes like chicken. Yeah. Maybe she would have tried to cook it right there on the side of the road i was gonna say possum tastes like chicken yeah yeah maybe she would have bit right into it uncooked brooke actually has a roadkill for these situations that'd be so amazing tara i mean it looks like maybe you should have said something you should have spoken up when evan got the story wrong yeah oh gosh i mean i guess but i really couldn't get over the fact that i just was frozen like oh no oh, no, oh, no, oh, no. Like, sinking in my seat. Like, this is me. He's talking about me. Oh, my gosh. You don't know how he's going to react.

Dude, what do you think about this? Looking back on it now, it's kind of funny. She just kept saying how horrible it sounded. Well, she meant it sounded horrible, but just not in this way you thought. Yeah, it did. Like, this is horrible that I'm even listening to you retell this and so i mean now that we've kind of come to an understanding here maybe there is actually a path forward for the two of you and we'd like to offer to send you on a second date tara awesome girl yeah we we'd love to give you another shot

with evan and we'd pay for that date You guys can go out somewhere and nurse another sick, injured animal back to health together. I mean, I would love to go out again and now that I'm kind of just trying to get over being so mortified over this whole thing. Okay. Yeah, now that I know the entire story, I really cannot wait to go out again

and I really cannot wait to tell my roommate about this. Oh man. Oh my gosh. So you are going to tell him then? this. Oh, man. Oh, my gosh. So you are going to tell him then? Oh, no. Because we can do it in an awkward Tuesday phone call if you want to let him know that you're dating possum girl now. I think we would just hear two dudes laughing. I don't know that there would be any awkwardness.

Yeah, that's probably true. Make sure you give her a stuffed possum on your first date as a present, okay? One with the stuffing pulled out of it. That's being jerked. Will do. Alright, so congratulations you guys. You got a second date. Cute! And the matrix is still intact.

Sort of. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Well, that second date update happened months ago and we all got rabies shots this morning because we knew Tara and Evan were coming back to give us an update update. So welcome back to the show, you two. Thank you. Hi.

But thankfully, we can all hug all the possums we want now. Yeah. I've already had rabies once, so it's no big deal. Okay. You're kind of our mute now. Well, welcome back, you guys. What's new? What made you reach out to the show? We really just wanted to update, like, just how awesome it was, obviously,

to get to talk to you guys and then to just let you guys know what we've been up to and what's going on with us. Okay. So are you guys still together? Yes. We're still together. Oh. Okay.

What's that like, Evan? Well, it turns out that the possum thing wasn't her being crazy. She has a really big heart and she loves animals. Aww. I love the opposite. He's like, turns out she's crazy. I don't want to come across as like the obsessive squirrel woodland creature loving lady at all. It works for Snow White.

It should work for you. I mean, why there was no possums in that film is a tragedy. Is a possum hissing? They should have had them. No, but we did come up with an alternative. So once a month,

we do go to an animal shelter together and we volunteer and it gets my figure. That's so cute. How do you not just adopt every animal? You guys are going to have little fur babies together. They are so, so cute. There really is a cute rabbit there that I do love.

That's awesome. Evan, are you ready to become Dr. Doolittle? Yes, it sounds like it. As long as it's not a possum. So we're going to have a snake and as it's not a possum. It's still a dipossum. So we're going to have like a snake and a raccoon and a scorpion. Yeah, that's still a stance for him. Well, we're happy to hear that you guys are still together and still doing well.

Yeah, no, it's been great. He supports my love for all the animals. Okay. And they're going to start adopting him and naming him after us on the show. Well, keep us updated on your life, you guys. Thanks for reaching out. Okay. That's great. And they're going to start adopting him and naming him after us on the show. Yeah. Well, keep us updated on your life, you guys. Thanks for reaching out. It's Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too.

Be more you this year and find them on Bumble. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got,

and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears

Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else.

Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.