Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update UPDATE PODCAST: Blurry Love

Episode Date: July 23, 2020

Melissa and Gus were on the show a few months ago and we're checking in to see how their second date went.... And making sure they're still ALIVE after what we heard the first time...See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late-night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. $1.4 billion in NFL quarterback contracts, the untold stories behind the biggest deals in football history. I'm A.J. Stevens, Vice President of Client Strategy at Athletes First, introducing the Athletes First Family Podcast, the quarterback series. My co-host Brian Murphy, Athletes First CEO,

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Places like the clubs, the gyms, the broccoli store. What? There's a whole store for that stuff? Hot people love their broccoli. They always eat healthy. They got hot somehow. Yeah, and you would know about the broccoli store if you were a hot person, so. Yeah, I don't know about it. Oh, that's why I don't know.

Yeah, dang it. I know about the Cheeto store. Is that the same? Not quite. Maybe there's one more place that hot people like to meet up. That's the optometrist. What? No, isn't that an eye doctor?

That's where Melissa says that she met her date and I can't wait to get the lowdown on this. Melissa, how would you rate this guy on a scale from the top of the eye chart

to the bottom? What are we talking about? It's all blurry. I don't know. It's the big E. The big E. Okay. Oh, wow.

Everyone can see the big E. So it's like he doesn't look better in one eye than the other. It's not your right eye or your left eye. It's both eyes. Right.

I spend a lot of time with the optometrists because they have really bad eyes. So maybe I only got that. What's the name of Mr. Big E? Gus. What? Actually. What? Gus.

Gus? Gus. U.S. Gus. You know what is funny? The name Gus, you have to like a guy named Gus. Yeah. Gus's are cool. You can't meet a Gus that's not nice.

Was he nice? He was so nice. Yeah. Who doesn't want to hang out with Gus? All right. So how did you and Gus come to meet? Basically, we were both in the waiting room at our optometrist office, and we both started talking about how bad our vision is.

And he actually made a really kind of creepy but funny comment okay what'd he say he said my eyes are so bad i wish i could trade my eyes for yours oh no that's creepy this guy's a keeper did you tell him that that was a little off-putting or were you like yeah baby here's my number here left eyeball. Well, I could tell he was joking, so I was just like, you shouldn't say that. You don't know me. He was like, yeah, I guess that was kind of creepy for me. So is that when he made the move to ask you out on a date? No, not quite.

So he went in for his appointment before I did. So he actually left a note for the receptionist on his way out with his number on it. Oh, that's pretty cute. That's a bold move. Okay, so did you guys go out on a date then? Yeah, we actually did. We went to a mini golf pub. Oh, that's a great date. It's always good on a first date to have an activity.

What's a mini golf club? No, a pub. Oh, a pub. I'm imagining like a country club, but just really, really tiny. You drank beer and you played mini golf is what she did. I think my idea sounds like more fun. Me too, dog. How was it?

The mini golf pub was a lot of fun. Okay. What was like a big highlight for you? We kind of bonded because he told me that it was his first real date since his wife dumped him. Oh, that's a fancy way to say divorce. I'm going to bond it because he told me that it was his first real date since his wife dumped him. Oh. Ooh, that's a fancy divorce. Yeah, and I've actually told him I was married before also. So, you know, we bonded over the fact that it's really hard to date again.

It's awkward. Oh, man, but that might be it. Like, maybe he's not calling you back because it was his first date. You know what I'm saying? Like, maybe he wants to play the field a little bit. Or he doesn't want used goods. That's not what I was saying at all, Jeffrey. Oh. I don't know what I'm saying? Like, maybe he wants to play the field a little bit. Or he doesn't want used goods. That's not what I was saying at all, Jeffrey. Oh.

I don't know what you're saying. I mean, yeah, I thought maybe that was why. But at the end of the night, it was kind of weird because he seemed like he wanted to kiss me. Like, he was looking at me and, you know, the look on his face seemed like he was thinking that. So I just said, you know, if you want to kiss me, I'll probably let you. Oh, I like that. It's very coy. But he was just like, maybe in a minute.

And then he never did. He didn't go in for the kiss then? Ouch. That probably means he doesn't want to kiss you. And maybe in a minute, who puts it off? Who's procrastinating a first kiss? He seems really nervous. I don't know. I mean, here's the thing. Heinating a first kiss really nervous i don't know i mean here's the thing he's a really really good looking guy we did have good conversation

i just think maybe i did scare him maybe it was too forward for him or maybe he freaked out and realized he's not ready to date i don't know it's possible that he feels bad that he didn't take the opportunity to kiss you and so now he's just too afraid to even try. Yeah, maybe, but I've been texting him, so I don't understand why, you know, I've given him the option to still hang out, so he should know that I'm interested. Yeah, and you won't pressure him to kiss you next time, huh? Right. All right, well, we're going to play a song. We'll come back, call Gus, and try to get your second date update, all right?

All right, sounds good. All right, and if it doesn't work out, then maybe we'll have to go back to the optometrist's office and find another blindie to go out with, okay? Blindie? Right. Okay. Hold on, Melissa. Date update.

If you're just tuning in for today's second date update, we're on the phone with Melissa. Melissa is a sucker for shy, recently divorced men with terrible eyesight. Ooh, turns me on. Brownie points if they hint at stealing her body parts, too. That was her description. Yeah. Really? Because she met Gus at the optometrist's office where he joked about how he would kill to get her eyes.

She thought that was cute, so they went out to a mini golf bar and bonded over the fact they'd both been divorced. But then there was a weird moment towards the end of the night where Melissa said something. What did you say again, Melissa? I said, you know, if you want to kiss me, I'll probably let you. It sounds like a good line. And did he kiss you? No, he did not.

No kisser for Melissa. Oh, you've been waiting to say that the whole time. I did. It took me like seven minutes to think of that one, so I'm glad I got it in. Oh, man, Melissa. I think that it's pretty confident of you to even hit him back after he didn't kiss you. What she means to say is it was stupid. I'm not saying it's stupid, but I would have felt pretty, I don't know, rejected.

So good on you for persevering and trying to get a date with this guy. She's politely calling you dumb. Okay. Well, I know that I said he was quiet and everything, but I really, really like him. I mean, that's why I'm calling to try and get him on the phone. You said he was hot, too, so that's probably... He basically has the best combination of great

looks and personality. Okay, quiet, guys. Quiet and hot. Quiet and hot. That's why I like him, too. Quiet and hot. Just shut up and be beautiful over there, Gus. Alright. Well, let's give Gus a call and see if we can try and get you a second date update, okay? Great. Thank you so much. all right here we go hello hi can i speak to gus

please this is gus hey gus this is young jeffrey from the radio show brooke and jeffrey in the morning how can i help you i'm calling you to talk to you about your dating life. Do you have a minute to talk to us? Sure. Nice. I was hoping you'd say that. Why would you want to talk to me about my dating life? Well, because somebody told us that you're really hot and good at dating. Well, I am really hot. Who would say that?

You're like, who wouldn't say that is what you mean guess well we got an email from a girl named melissa melissa yeah she said she recently went on a date with you and now you're not responding when she's trying to text you and call you so she wants to know why uh we had a great time, but I got a little intense. She did say that there was a little bit of an awkward moment where maybe she said something that she shouldn't have. And she mentioned that, you know, if you tried to kiss me right now, I probably wouldn't say no or something along those lines. And then you didn't kiss her. Yeah. You rejected her.

Yeah, I just, I felt a little awkward at that moment, but that's not the reason why I didn't call her back. Oh my God, you knew you were not going to call her back even before then? Yeah, we kind of had a conversation earlier, and it got me a bit worried just talking about my ex-wife and her ex-relationships. Oh, she mentioned that too, right?

Yeah, she said that she was divorced. You don't want to date a divorced woman? Uh, well, it's, I mean, I'm divorced as well, but it's just the fact that her other partners are deceased. They died. There's two of them. What? She told me they passed the same way,

but she wouldn't tell me exactly how, and that really got me thinking all kinds of stuff. Wait, hold on. That's kind of weird. She told you she has two ex-husbands. Apparently her ex-husband's fine, but her two ex-partners passed away and I didn't want to be number three. I don't know what happened. Like she murdered him?

Gosh, yeah. Like that's your assumption is that she's the one that did the job? She didn't want to say what happened. Oh. That's a little shady. It's not shady. It could be something really personal. Like, why would you think that you're going to die if you date her?

That's silly. I mean, people die all the time from these weird stuff. That's why they make these true crime documentaries. Yeah, I saw this one where a bunch of guys were poisoned by this lady named the Black Widow, and she did it for fun. Maybe it could be her. I was wondering if a bunch of you guys were poisoned by this lady named the Black Widow, and she did it for fun. Whoa! So? It could be her.

It could be Melissa. Sweet Melissa took you mini-golfing and put it on the side and wanted to poison you. That's how she reels you in. She can barely see, but she'll kill you. Oh, God. This is crazy. You need to be cautious. Well, Gus, don't you want to, like, ask her about this directly?

Well, I kind of did, and she didn't want to talk about it. So, I mean, there's not much more I can say. Well, maybe she'd be more open to talking about it now because she has been on the other line listening. Get the f*** out of here. What the hell? No, sorry, she's really there. She wants to talk to you, Melissa.

Oh, f***. Hi, Gus. Hi, Melissa. I didn't know you were on the other line. Yeah, I can tell. Hi. Oh, my God. Hi.

Melissa, aren't you pissed? He thinks that you're like a serial killer. I'm not pissed. I guess I didn't want to talk about it. I guess I didn't think about how weird that would sound for you, Gus. Well, it was weird that you didn't want to talk about it. Yeah. Okay.

Well, it's about to get weirder. Oh, no. Wait, is this where you admit that you actually did it? Confession? No, no. So I can't believe I'm even saying this right now. My husband's fine. Well, ex-husband.

But I had two boyfriends who died during passion. What? Passion? What does that mean? What's passion? Is that like a ride? No. No, like intimacy.

What? Wait. You have two ex-boyfriends who died in the sack with you? Yes. What? What kind of crazy? How old are two ex-boyfriends who died in the sack with you? Yes. What? What kind of crazy? How old are these ex-boyfriends?

Oh, my gosh. To the point. They're not that old. Hold on, hold on. She put them in a sack? No. No. Oh, my God, guys.

In the bedroom. Thank God you're pretty. Wait, wait, Melissa. Yeah. Is this recent? No, not really. I mean, I've been married since then, and he's fine. I mean, everything worked out except the divorce part, Melissa. Yeah. Is this recent? No, not really. I mean, I've been married since then, and he's fine. I mean, everything worked out except the divorce part, obviously. But he was fine.

So, Melissa, I just want to get some clarification. Did they die because you're, like, really good at that stuff? Or was it, like, an accident? Did you drown them? Underwater. I don't know what your bedroom activities look like usually, Gus, but now I'm afraid for Melissa. I was thinking heart attack.

What are we talking here, Melissa? Yeah, I guess I could just be a lot for some men, and so I usually have to warn my relationships going into it. Wow. Oh, my God. Now, Gus, does that sound scary or more like a challenge for you? I'm not sure. I mean, it sounds like a good thing.

What? She's so kinky you might die, bro. Mount Everest is not small. What? What? Melissa's the Everest of the bedroom. Wait, Gus, you're not just interested in me because of what you heard about me, right?

It's not just because these two guys died in bed with me, right? No, those aren't the only two reasons. What? There's only one reason there, Gus. No, I'm not just interested in you because I might die being with you. All right.

Okay. Good sell. Was that good enough for you, Melissa? Yeah, I don't know. I just, you know, when people hear that about me, I don't want them to think of me differently. You know, it's a little bit different thing to hear, but I still dig you.

Okay. How did the murder thing make it better? Yeah, I don't know yeah i don't know i don't know uh maybe i'm a little bit more interested and intrigued all right well in that case gus we'd love to send you and melissa out on another date we'll pay for it i mean we won't pay for the funeral costs after she kills you in the bedroom but the date date could be fun. Yeah, well, I don't think it's me you're going to have to be worried about. Said the other two guys, too. I mean in the bedroom, not the funeral parlor.

So is that a yes? Is that what you're saying, Gus? Yeah, it's a yes. You want to go out with her again? Heck yeah. All right. All right, Melissa, we got you a second date. Great.

Thank you. Oh, my God. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. So that was a second date update from a little while back. Oh, my gosh, it was. It was a good one. And today we were supposed to have Melissa and Gus back on for a second date update update. Don't tell me we couldn't get a hold of Gus.

Do not tell me. He's dead. Oh, my God, Jeff. Do not tell me. He's dead! Oh my god, Jeff! We were in email communication with Gus earlier in the week, but he's been a no-show all morning long. Shut up! So we've only got Melissa on the phone. Hold on, he could've

gotten cold feet. Some people don't like radio, guys. Melissa! Welcome back. Thank you. And, I mean, I think everybody's wondering the same thing. You didn't kill him, did you? We have to ask. I mean, normally that would be a joke, but considering your dating history, I'm kind of serious. Did something happen?

No, of course I did not kill Gus. Yeah, that's what all murderers say. Melissa, where is he? You know, I don't know where he is or why he hasn't come on. I think he probably was just too embarrassed to come on again and admit that he just couldn't handle it. Wait a minute. He couldn't handle it? Oh, we need the details. Yeah, what does that mean?

He could be still sleeping and resting up for this. He's in a coma right now. Yeah. What happened? I mean, radio friendly, but what happened? Yeah, give us the tea. So after our second date update, we did go out a few times. And we were seeing each other for a couple weeks.

And when we went out again, I warned him. I said, for real, this is going to be intense. And he was like, yeah, yeah, of course I can handle it. But I don't think he really understood what intense meant. I don't think I understand. I don't either. Like, you're so casual about this. Do you teach lessons? Is there a school?

Do you strap him down? What happens? I'm not going to give you details like that. Let's just say we got together a couple times while we dated. I'll just put it this way. He cried a lot. Oh!

You made him cry! It sounds painful. dated and I'll just put it this way he cried a lot was he crying in a good happy way or in a scared child in a corner way um more the latter oh yikes so what happened I mean he probably wouldn't like that I'm telling you this but he backed out of our relationship after that. And now I'm single again. Hey, that's good news. That just got a lot of people excited. Yeah. Men and women. Oh, our text board is blowing up right now.

So I don't think you're going to be single for very long. A lot of dudes want you to make them cry. Well, they say that now, just like us. Oh, wow. Oh, my God. them cry well they say that now just like us oh wow my god well it's one of those things where it's like curiosity killed the cat right yeah yeah it killed the gus that's exactly what happened well thanks for updating us melissa yeah no problem and anybody text into 78592 if you've seen gus just let us know that he's okay. Where are you, Gus? Take a picture of him holding a newspaper, please. Jon Stewart

is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second

term we can all get behind listen to the daily show ears edition on the iheart radio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts 1.4 billion dollars in nfl quarterback contracts the untold stories behind the biggest deals in football history. I'm AJ Stevens, Vice President of Client Strategy at Athletes First, introducing the Athletes First Family Podcast, the quarterback series. My co-host Brian Murphy, Athletes First CEO, and I are sitting down with the agents who have negotiated contracts for Justin Herbert, Deshaun Watson, Dak Prescott, Tua Tugnavailoa, and Jordan Love. Listen to Athletes First Family Podcast on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The OGs of uncensored motherhood are back and badder than ever. I'm Erica. And I'm Mila. And we're the hosts of the Good Moms Bad Choices podcast, brought to you by the Black Effect Podcast Network every Wednesday. Yeah, we're moms. But not your mommy.

Historically, men talk too much. And women have quietly listened. And all that stops here. If you like witty women, then this is your tribe. Listen to the Good Moms, Bad Choices podcast every Wednesday on the Black Effect Podcast Network, the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you go to find your podcast.